Is this a panic attack???

I'm wondering if I've been having panic attacks all my life or if I'm
bipolar. Definitely I'll be making an appointment with the doctor to
pursue this, but in the meantime I thought I'd post here.

I've always had a family that closes down on me. Kind of suffocating
in a way. Even though I'm married and have my own life, I feel I can't
say 'no' to events that involve the family. On top of it all, I've
been dealing with some debilitating physical issues lately which make
it harder for me to do everything. I'm getting better, but it's been a
long road.

So yesterday I started baking cookies. I've done this throughout the
years with no problems. But yesterday was different. I got everything
out, measured everything before and then started to prepare the dough.
I noticed it was really strangely dry and then realized after I had
completely finished making it, that I left out one cup of brown sugar.
(When baking, you can't add this back in at the end...at least not for
this recipe.)

God only knows why I came unglued, but I did. I was hyperventilating
and calling myself 'stupid' over and over and OVER and OVER again.
Moaning sounds came out of my mouth and I felt I was in a daze as I
moved around fast trying to figure out what to do next. I felt as if I
were going crazy! I kept thinking that I shouldn't have tried to do
this party because I knew I wasn't feeling that great. I was blaming
everything on our dysfunctional family and my mother, specifically for
feeling like she 'expects' me to do these things. It lasted a long
time. Probably a good ten minutes. It was awful!! I wasn't the same
all day, and today I'm still feeling weird.

Later on in the day yesterday, my mom called to tell me something and I
barked back at her rudely. I called back a little while later to
apologize. My family is driving me crazy lately. There are so many
holidays and birthdays at this time of year and it seems I'm "expected"
to handle them a certain way and if I don't then I'm not a good
daughter. It seems my problems lately are family based even though I'm
sure they wouldn't have a clue as to why I'd feel they had any
involvement.

Does anyone have a sense as to what this physical reaction was??

ldbk wrote:
> I'm wondering if I've been having panic attacks all my life or if I'm
> bipolar. Definitely I'll be making an appointment with the doctor to
> pursue this, but in the meantime I thought I'd post here.
>
> I've always had a family that closes down on me. Kind of suffocating
> in a way. Even though I'm married and have my own life, I feel I can't
> say 'no' to events that involve the family. On top of it all, I've
> been dealing with some debilitating physical issues lately which make
> it harder for me to do everything. I'm getting better, but it's been a
> long road.
>
> So yesterday I started baking cookies. I've done this throughout the
> years with no problems. But yesterday was different. I got everything
> out, measured everything before and then started to prepare the dough.
> I noticed it was really strangely dry and then realized after I had
> completely finished making it, that I left out one cup of brown sugar.
> (When baking, you can't add this back in at the end...at least not for
> this recipe.)
>
> God only knows why I came unglued, but I did. I was hyperventilating
> and calling myself 'stupid' over and over and OVER and OVER again.
> Moaning sounds came out of my mouth and I felt I was in a daze as I
> moved around fast trying to figure out what to do next. I felt as if I
> were going crazy! I kept thinking that I shouldn't have tried to do
> this party because I knew I wasn't feeling that great. I was blaming
> everything on our dysfunctional family and my mother, specifically for
> feeling like she 'expects' me to do these things. It lasted a long
> time. Probably a good ten minutes. It was awful!! I wasn't the same
> all day, and today I'm still feeling weird.
>
> Later on in the day yesterday, my mom called to tell me something and I
> barked back at her rudely. I called back a little while later to
> apologize. My family is driving me crazy lately. There are so many
> holidays and birthdays at this time of year and it seems I'm "expected"
> to handle them a certain way and if I don't then I'm not a good
> daughter. It seems my problems lately are family based even though I'm
> sure they wouldn't have a clue as to why I'd feel they had any
> involvement.
>
> Does anyone have a sense as to what this physical reaction was??

wemet wrote:
> ldbk wrote:
> > I'm wondering if I've been having panic attacks all my life or if I'm
> > bipolar. Definitely I'll be making an appointment with the doctor to
> > pursue this, but in the meantime I thought I'd post here.
> >
> > I've always had a family that closes down on me. Kind of suffocating
> > in a way. Even though I'm married and have my own life, I feel I can't
> > say 'no' to events that involve the family. On top of it all, I've
> > been dealing with some debilitating physical issues lately which make
> > it harder for me to do everything. I'm getting better, but it's been a
> > long road.
> >
> > So yesterday I started baking cookies. I've done this throughout the
> > years with no problems. But yesterday was different. I got everything
> > out, measured everything before and then started to prepare the dough.
> > I noticed it was really strangely dry and then realized after I had
> > completely finished making it, that I left out one cup of brown sugar.
> > (When baking, you can't add this back in at the end...at least not for
> > this recipe.)
> >
> > God only knows why I came unglued, but I did. I was hyperventilating
> > and calling myself 'stupid' over and over and OVER and OVER again.
> > Moaning sounds came out of my mouth and I felt I was in a daze as I
> > moved around fast trying to figure out what to do next. I felt as if I
> > were going crazy! I kept thinking that I shouldn't have tried to do
> > this party because I knew I wasn't feeling that great. I was blaming
> > everything on our dysfunctional family and my mother, specifically for
> > feeling like she 'expects' me to do these things. It lasted a long
> > time. Probably a good ten minutes. It was awful!! I wasn't the same
> > all day, and today I'm still feeling weird.
> >
> > Later on in the day yesterday, my mom called to tell me something and I
> > barked back at her rudely. I called back a little while later to
> > apologize. My family is driving me crazy lately. There are so many
> > holidays and birthdays at this time of year and it seems I'm "expected"
> > to handle them a certain way and if I don't then I'm not a good
> > daughter. It seems my problems lately are family based even though I'm
> > sure they wouldn't have a clue as to why I'd feel they had any
> > involvement.
> >
> > Does anyone have a sense as to what this physical reaction was??

wemet wrote:
> ldbk wrote:
> > I'm wondering if I've been having panic attacks all my life or if I'm
> > bipolar. Definitely I'll be making an appointment with the doctor to
> > pursue this, but in the meantime I thought I'd post here.
> >
> > I've always had a family that closes down on me. Kind of suffocating
> > in a way. Even though I'm married and have my own life, I feel I can't
> > say 'no' to events that involve the family. On top of it all, I've
> > been dealing with some debilitating physical issues lately which make
> > it harder for me to do everything. I'm getting better, but it's been a
> > long road.
> >
> > So yesterday I started baking cookies. I've done this throughout the
> > years with no problems. But yesterday was different. I got everything
> > out, measured everything before and then started to prepare the dough.
> > I noticed it was really strangely dry and then realized after I had
> > completely finished making it, that I left out one cup of brown sugar.
> > (When baking, you can't add this back in at the end...at least not for
> > this recipe.)
> >
> > God only knows why I came unglued, but I did. I was hyperventilating
> > and calling myself 'stupid' over and over and OVER and OVER again.
> > Moaning sounds came out of my mouth and I felt I was in a daze as I
> > moved around fast trying to figure out what to do next. I felt as if I
> > were going crazy! I kept thinking that I shouldn't have tried to do
> > this party because I knew I wasn't feeling that great. I was blaming
> > everything on our dysfunctional family and my mother, specifically for
> > feeling like she 'expects' me to do these things. It lasted a long
> > time. Probably a good ten minutes. It was awful!! I wasn't the same
> > all day, and today I'm still feeling weird.
> >
> > Later on in the day yesterday, my mom called to tell me something and I
> > barked back at her rudely. I called back a little while later to
> > apologize. My family is driving me crazy lately. There are so many
> > holidays and birthdays at this time of year and it seems I'm "expected"
> > to handle them a certain way and if I don't then I'm not a good
> > daughter. It seems my problems lately are family based even though I'm
> > sure they wouldn't have a clue as to why I'd feel they had any
> > involvement.
> >
> > Does anyone have a sense as to what this physical reaction was??

wemet wrote:
> wemet wrote:
> > ldbk wrote:
> > > I'm wondering if I've been having panic attacks all my life or if I'm
> > > bipolar. Definitely I'll be making an appointment with the doctor to
> > > pursue this, but in the meantime I thought I'd post here.
> > >
> > > I've always had a family that closes down on me. Kind of suffocating
> > > in a way. Even though I'm married and have my own life, I feel I can't
> > > say 'no' to events that involve the family. On top of it all, I've
> > > been dealing with some debilitating physical issues lately which make
> > > it harder for me to do everything. I'm getting better, but it's been a
> > > long road.
> > >
> > > So yesterday I started baking cookies. I've done this throughout the
> > > years with no problems. But yesterday was different. I got everything
> > > out, measured everything before and then started to prepare the dough.
> > > I noticed it was really strangely dry and then realized after I had
> > > completely finished making it, that I left out one cup of brown sugar.
> > > (When baking, you can't add this back in at the end...at least not for
> > > this recipe.)
> > >
> > > God only knows why I came unglued, but I did. I was hyperventilating
> > > and calling myself 'stupid' over and over and OVER and OVER again.
> > > Moaning sounds came out of my mouth and I felt I was in a daze as I
> > > moved around fast trying to figure out what to do next. I felt as if I
> > > were going crazy! I kept thinking that I shouldn't have tried to do
> > > this party because I knew I wasn't feeling that great. I was blaming
> > > everything on our dysfunctional family and my mother, specifically for
> > > feeling like she 'expects' me to do these things. It lasted a long
> > > time. Probably a good ten minutes. It was awful!! I wasn't the same
> > > all day, and today I'm still feeling weird.
> > >
> > > Later on in the day yesterday, my mom called to tell me something and I
> > > barked back at her rudely. I called back a little while later to
> > > apologize. My family is driving me crazy lately. There are so many
> > > holidays and birthdays at this time of year and it seems I'm "expected"
> > > to handle them a certain way and if I don't then I'm not a good
> > > daughter. It seems my problems lately are family based even though I'm
> > > sure they wouldn't have a clue as to why I'd feel they had any
> > > involvement.
> > >
> > > Does anyone have a sense as to what this physical reaction was??

In my experience, yes! You are describing my life.

On 19 Dec 2006 07:41:45 -0800, "ldbk" <fingerson88@aol.com> wrote:

>I'm wondering if I've been having panic attacks all my life or if I'm
>bipolar. Definitely I'll be making an appointment with the doctor to
>pursue this, but in the meantime I thought I'd post here.
>...