Self pity and anger post

Had a friend and her husband come to visit last eve.

A week before I was so excited to see her and him, but like always the
day of the visit the symptoms set in. Getting sweaty, shakes, mind
going a mile a minute, things start looking sureal, and I am about to
cycle into a panic.

God dammit I hate it. Why can't I enjoy anything. I am on the f-ing
meds, I am fine with the same old same old.

So I pop a benzo and wait the 10 or so minutes for the kick in. Those
10 minutes seem a life time and I am really to ball my eyes out or
punch anything in sight.

This f-ing sucks.

Yeah, I have not been pushing myself to go outside my safe places,
yeah I have not been exercising as much, or doing meditation. And the
people who tell me to just let the feelings wash over me, well I just
can't. I can't do it.

I will always spend the rest of my life fearful of panic. It is
frightening and terrifying and I don't want it anymore.

Vickie

On Apr 13, 12:46*pm, Vickie <lilliputianbizz...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Had a friend and her husband come to visit last eve.
>
> A week before I was so excited to see her and him, but like always the
> day of the visit the symptoms set in. *Getting sweaty, shakes, mind
> going a mile a minute, things start looking sureal, and I am about to
> cycle into a panic.
>
> God dammit I hate it. *Why can't I enjoy anything. *I am on the f-ing
> meds, I am fine with the same old same old.
>
> So I pop a benzo and wait the 10 or so minutes for the kick in. *Those
> 10 minutes seem a life time and I am really to ball my eyes out or
> punch anything in sight.
>
> This f-ing sucks.
>
> Yeah, I have not been pushing myself to go outside my safe places,
> yeah I have not been exercising as much, or doing meditation. *And the
> people who tell me to just let the feelings wash over me, well I just
> can't. *I can't do it.
>
> I will always spend the rest of my life fearful of panic. *It is
> frightening and terrifying and I don't want it anymore.
>
> Vickie

Keep a positive attitude, it may seem like there is no light at the
end of the tunnel but with time and the right combo of meds, you will
see changes.

Vickie schreef:
> Had a friend and her husband come to visit last eve.
>
> A week before I was so excited to see her and him, but like always the
> day of the visit the symptoms set in. Getting sweaty, shakes, mind
> going a mile a minute, things start looking sureal, and I am about to
> cycle into a panic.
>
> God dammit I hate it. Why can't I enjoy anything. I am on the f-ing
> meds, I am fine with the same old same old.
>
> So I pop a benzo and wait the 10 or so minutes for the kick in. Those
> 10 minutes seem a life time and I am really to ball my eyes out or
> punch anything in sight.
>
> This f-ing sucks.
>
> Yeah, I have not been pushing myself to go outside my safe places,
> yeah I have not been exercising as much, or doing meditation. And the
> people who tell me to just let the feelings wash over me, well I just
> can't. I can't do it.
>
> I will always spend the rest of my life fearful of panic. It is
> frightening and terrifying and I don't want it anymore.
>
> Vickie


Dear Vick I guess you just say out loud what we all feel !
One day is better than the other But days like this when you actually
know you would enjoy it so much and you can't cause of our f*cking
disorder Those days are hellish

You DON'T have to meditate - go out - and so on !!!
We fight a hard fight and all the suggestions on how to get better can
be too much We have heard it all got the t-shirt and the button .

But sometimes we just want to lay our weary head down and cry

Love ya Anna

On Apr 13, 12:32*pm, Vieux Sailor <mleblaa...@rogers.com> wrote:
> On Apr 13, 12:46*pm, Vickie <lilliputianbizz...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > Had a friend and her husband come to visit last eve.
>
> > A week before I was so excited to see her and him, but like always the
> > day of the visit the symptoms set in. *Getting sweaty, shakes, mind
> > going a mile a minute, things start looking sureal, and I am about to
> > cycle into a panic.
>
> > God dammit I hate it. *Why can't I enjoy anything. *I am on the f-ing
> > meds, I am fine with the same old same old.
>
> > So I pop a benzo and wait the 10 or so minutes for the kick in. *Those
> > 10 minutes seem a life time and I am really to ball my eyes out or
> > punch anything in sight.
>
> > This f-ing sucks.
>
> > Yeah, I have not been pushing myself to go outside my safe places,
> > yeah I have not been exercising as much, or doing meditation. *And the
> > people who tell me to just let the feelings wash over me, well I just
> > can't. *I can't do it.
>
> > I will always spend the rest of my life fearful of panic. *It is
> > frightening and terrifying and I don't want it anymore.
>
> > Vickie
>
> Keep a positive attitude, it may seem like there is no light at the
> end of the tunnel but with time and the right combo of meds, you will
> see changes.- Hide quoted text -
>

I don't feel it. I don't feel it will ever change.

My meds are good. I suppose I could say I am one of the lucky ones as
I am not as I was before being diagnosed, which was panic/agoraphobic.

I don't think though that I will ever be able to tell the difference
between excitement and anxiety, or normal anxiousness and panic.

I am just feeling down and a positive attitude would help. I'll come
around.

Thanks,
Vickie

On Apr 13, 1:11*pm, Anna <koj...@planet.nl> wrote:
> Vickie schreef:
>
>
>
>
>
> > Had a friend and her husband come to visit last eve.
>
> > A week before I was so excited to see her and him, but like always the
> > day of the visit the symptoms set in. *Getting sweaty, shakes, mind
> > going a mile a minute, things start looking sureal, and I am about to
> > cycle into a panic.
>
> > God dammit I hate it. *Why can't I enjoy anything. *I am on the f-ing
> > meds, I am fine with the same old same old.
>
> > So I pop a benzo and wait the 10 or so minutes for the kick in. *Those
> > 10 minutes seem a life time and I am really to ball my eyes out or
> > punch anything in sight.
>
> > This f-ing sucks.
>
> > Yeah, I have not been pushing myself to go outside my safe places,
> > yeah I have not been exercising as much, or doing meditation. *And the
> > people who tell me to just let the feelings wash over me, well I just
> > can't. *I can't do it.
>
> > I will always spend the rest of my life fearful of panic. *It is
> > frightening and terrifying and I don't want it anymore.
>
> > Vickie
>
> Dear Vick I guess you just say out loud what we all feel !
> One day is better than the other But days like this when you actually
> know you would enjoy it so much and you can't cause of our f*cking
> disorder Those days are hellish.

Yep. Makes me just pissed off to no end.
I mean really...wtf? Why can't I just have a good time from before to
after?
To always have to have my "crutches", to always have a list of "outs"
just in case, and knowing those still don't seem to change a damn
thing.
God I feel so tired of it all.

(Told ya this was a self pity thing :-)

>
> You DON'T have to meditate - go out - and so on !!!
> We fight a hard fight and all the suggestions on how to get better can
> be too much We have heard it all got the t-shirt and the button .
>
> But sometimes we just want to lay our weary head down and cry

Yeah. For sure.

>
> Love ya Anna

Nice to hear that I am not the only one who wants to stop the struggle
and just claim defeat once in awhile.

Thanks Anna
Vickie

So true, Anna, so true. Vicki, you'll feel better once it's all over. Have
you ever had trouble with social anxiety? I can't be around other people
too long, or one on one (like say, over lunch) without getting very nervous
and jittery. Nanny
"Anna" <kojech@planet.nl> wrote in message
news:66f7miFkca0sU1@mid.individual.net...
> Vickie schreef:
>> Had a friend and her husband come to visit last eve.
>>
>> A week before I was so excited to see her and him, but like always the
>> day of the visit the symptoms set in. Getting sweaty, shakes, mind
>> going a mile a minute, things start looking sureal, and I am about to
>> cycle into a panic.
>>
>> God dammit I hate it. Why can't I enjoy anything. I am on the f-ing
>> meds, I am fine with the same old same old.
>>
>> So I pop a benzo and wait the 10 or so minutes for the kick in. Those
>> 10 minutes seem a life time and I am really to ball my eyes out or
>> punch anything in sight.
>>
>> This f-ing sucks.
>>
>> Yeah, I have not been pushing myself to go outside my safe places,
>> yeah I have not been exercising as much, or doing meditation. And the
>> people who tell me to just let the feelings wash over me, well I just
>> can't. I can't do it.
>>
>> I will always spend the rest of my life fearful of panic. It is
>> frightening and terrifying and I don't want it anymore.
>>
>> Vickie
>
>
> Dear Vick I guess you just say out loud what we all feel !
> One day is better than the other But days like this when you actually know
> you would enjoy it so much and you can't cause of our f*cking disorder
> Those days are hellish
>
> You DON'T have to meditate - go out - and so on !!!
> We fight a hard fight and all the suggestions on how to get better can be
> too much We have heard it all got the t-shirt and the button .
>
> But sometimes we just want to lay our weary head down and cry
>
> Love ya Anna

>
> Nice to hear that I am not the only one who wants to stop the struggle
> and just claim defeat once in awhile.
>
> Thanks Anna
> Vickie

Absolutely ! Sometimes I just take my loss and do as I please
And if this means staying home on my own Well that it will be.
Not every day can be a struggle . You have to breath sometimes.
Just go with the flow for awhile and rest your weary head !

Much love from Anna

nanny schreef:
> So true, Anna, so true. Vicki, you'll feel better once it's all over. Have
> you ever had trouble with social anxiety? I can't be around other people
> too long, or one on one (like say, over lunch) without getting very nervous
> and jittery. Nanny


YUP I can be around people very good BUT not in my house !
It makes me feel so anxious Even with those I know for such a long time.
One on one makes me feel so responsible Like I am the one it all depends
on And in the process I feel I am not Anna anymore !


Love from Anna

none of us want it any more, honey. i'm so sorry you went through
this.
can you take the xanax earlier on, so that you don't get to that
point? why put yourself thru that misery, when you have meds to
prevent it?
i'm not sure what meds you are on, vickie...but perhaps you need an
adjustment?
vent any time, and don't beat yourself up for having an illness.

hugs to you!

gigglz




On Sun, 13 Apr 2008 09:46:54 -0700 (PDT), Vickie
<lilliputianbizzare@gmail.com> wrote:

>
>Had a friend and her husband come to visit last eve.
>
>A week before I was so excited to see her and him, but like always the
>day of the visit the symptoms set in. Getting sweaty, shakes, mind
>going a mile a minute, things start looking sureal, and I am about to
>cycle into a panic.
>
>God dammit I hate it. Why can't I enjoy anything. I am on the f-ing
>meds, I am fine with the same old same old.
>
>So I pop a benzo and wait the 10 or so minutes for the kick in. Those
>10 minutes seem a life time and I am really to ball my eyes out or
>punch anything in sight.
>
>This f-ing sucks.
>
>Yeah, I have not been pushing myself to go outside my safe places,
>yeah I have not been exercising as much, or doing meditation. And the
>people who tell me to just let the feelings wash over me, well I just
>can't. I can't do it.
>
>I will always spend the rest of my life fearful of panic. It is
>frightening and terrifying and I don't want it anymore.
>
>Vickie

On Apr 14, 8:24*am, Gigglz <Frek...@Hotmail.com> wrote:
> none of us want it any more, honey. *i'm so sorry you went through
> this.
> can you take the xanax earlier on, so that you don't get to that
> point? *why put yourself thru that misery, when you have meds to
> prevent it? *
> i'm not sure what meds you are on, vickie...but perhaps you need an
> adjustment?
> vent any time, and don't beat yourself up for having an illness.
>
> hugs to you!

Thanks much.

I readjusted my SSRI, with docs permission, about, hmm a year ago,
and it is working fairly well.

As far as taking the Xanax earlier, I should, I really really should,
but I have this damn notion in my head that I can't get rid of.
It's the "Stick it out, you can do this, you don't have to have it, do
your methods, come on! why are you so weak!" thing going on in my
head.

I don't know why I can't get past it. In fact, any person I know that
needs med help, I tell them to do it, don't suffer. I *want* it to
rub off on me, but in the long years I have been dealing with this, I
still have this mental block about it.

Why can't I just do what I have to do? Why do I wait so long until I
am a downright mess? I get so angry at myself, at this whole thing.

Vickie

On Apr 13, 8:23*pm, "nanny" <gloria...@woh.rr.com> wrote:

> So true, Anna, so true. *Vicki, you'll feel better once it's all over. *Have
> you ever had trouble with social anxiety? *I can't be around other people
> too long, or one on one (like say, over lunch) without getting very nervous
> and jittery. *Nanny

Social anxiety? Yeah, I have that. I have most all anxiety/panic.
The worst being panic from the fear of panic.

I am one of the many that can have normal situational anxiety that
gets out of control. I am one of the many who can be having a grand
old time and out of the blue.....panic.

And I am in a lovely mess right now, as my last therapist (two years
ago) kind of, well, she sucked pretty much, and I had a few full
blown, dash out of the room, panic attacks there with her. Needless
to say, I am not very keen on going to therapy....therapy = panic.

Nice, eh? Fine kettle of fish I am in now.

Vickie

On Mon, 14 Apr 2008 08:59:12 -0700 (PDT), Vickie
<lilliputianbizzare@gmail.com> wrote:

>On Apr 14, 8:24*am, Gigglz <Frek...@Hotmail.com> wrote:
>> none of us want it any more, honey. *i'm so sorry you went through
>> this.
>> can you take the xanax earlier on, so that you don't get to that
>> point? *why put yourself thru that misery, when you have meds to
>> prevent it? *
>> i'm not sure what meds you are on, vickie...but perhaps you need an
>> adjustment?
>> vent any time, and don't beat yourself up for having an illness.
>>
>> hugs to you!




>Thanks much.
>
>I readjusted my SSRI, with docs permission, about, hmm a year ago,
>and it is working fairly well.

good, hun!


>As far as taking the Xanax earlier, I should, I really really should,
>but I have this damn notion in my head that I can't get rid of.
>It's the "Stick it out, you can do this, you don't have to have it, do
>your methods, come on! why are you so weak!" thing going on in my
>head.


i think we ALL tend to do this. we don't want to 'give in', so to
speak! i've FINALLY learned though...when i feel it 'coming on', i
just take the damn pill. it saves me from lots of stress and misery.
but, it took me a LONG TIME to get to that point.


>I don't know why I can't get past it. In fact, any person I know that
>needs med help, I tell them to do it, don't suffer. I *want* it to
>rub off on me, but in the long years I have been dealing with this, I
>still have this mental block about it.


maybe you could get yourself a shock collar :-) <wink>
are you telling me you are stubborn, vickie? :-) LOL
i know this is very hard, hun. you just have to listen to what you
are saying. eventually, it will stick, sweetie.



>Why can't I just do what I have to do? Why do I wait so long until I
>am a downright mess? I get so angry at myself, at this whole thing.
>
>Vickie

you want to be stronger than 'IT', but anxiety is very powerful. the
worse it gets, the less able we are to rationalize and then it takes
over. i guess you gotta just DO IT. put that pill out on your
counter, and know it's there...SEE it. put a glass of water next to
it. when you feel it coming on...swallow! this is what i started
doing. it made it easier. or, find another mind game of sorts that
will work for you. getting angry with yourself will only make it
worse. we have these meds for a reason. anxiety doesn't make sense.
even if we know inside things are 'OK', they don't FEEL OK. i hate it
too, but i'm so thankful for meds if and when i need them.

hang in there, girlfriend.

hugs,
gigglz

On Apr 14, 9:09*am, Gigglz <Frek...@Hotmail.com> wrote:
> On Mon, 14 Apr 2008 08:59:12 -0700 (PDT), Vickie

>
> <lilliputianbizz...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >On Apr 14, 8:24*am, Gigglz <Frek...@Hotmail.com> wrote:
> >> none of us want it any more, honey. *i'm so sorry you went through
> >> this.
> >> can you take the xanax earlier on, so that you don't get to that
> >> point? *why put yourself thru that misery, when you have meds to
> >> prevent it? *
> >> i'm not sure what meds you are on, vickie...but perhaps you need an
> >> adjustment?
> >> vent any time, and don't beat yourself up for having an illness.

>
> >I readjusted my SSRI, with docs permission, about, hmm a year ago,
> >and it is working fairly well.
>
> good, hun!

Yeah. After rocking and rolling on the same dose for quite awhile, it
felt a crushing blow to me to have to up the meds. But on that one, I
let myself off the hook fairly early into it.

>
> >As far as taking the Xanax earlier, I should, I really really should,
> >but I have this damn notion in my head that I can't get rid of.
> >It's the "Stick it out, you can do this, you don't have to have it, do
> >your methods, come on! why are you so weak!" thing going on in my
> >head.
>
> i think we ALL tend to do this. *we don't want to 'give in', so to
> speak! *i've FINALLY learned though...when i feel it 'coming on', i
> just take the damn pill. *it saves me from lots of stress and misery.
> but, it took me a LONG TIME to get to that point.
>
> >I don't know why I can't get past it. *In fact, any person I know that
> >needs med help, I tell them to do it, don't suffer. *I *want* it to
> >rub off on me, but in the long years I have been dealing with this, I
> >still have this mental block about it.
>
> maybe you could get yourself a shock collar :-) * <wink>

lol, sounds about right

> are you telling me you are stubborn, vickie? *:-) * LOL

Ah hell, yep, that I am.

> i know this is very hard, hun. *you just have to listen to what you
> are saying. *eventually, it will stick, sweetie.
>
> >Why can't I just do what I have to do? *Why do I wait so long until I
> >am a downright mess? *I get so angry at myself, at this whole thing.

>
> you want to be stronger than 'IT', but anxiety is very powerful. *the
> worse it gets, the less able we are to rationalize and then it takes
> over. *i guess you gotta just DO IT. *put that pill out on your
> counter, and know it's there...SEE it. *put a glass of water next to
> it. *when you feel it coming on...swallow! *this is what i started
> doing. *it made it easier. *or, find another mind game of sorts that
> will work for you. *getting angry with yourself will only make it
> worse. *we have these meds for a reason. *anxiety doesn't make sense.
> even if we know inside things are 'OK', they don't FEEL OK. *i hate it
> too, but i'm so thankful for meds if and when i need them.

I do want to be stronger than 'IT'. It just ain't happening right
now.

My new mantra will be...Just Do It. (or is that a Nike thing?)

>
> hang in there, girlfriend.

Yep, <sigh> steady on. And right back at ya.

Vickie

On Mon, 14 Apr 2008 09:29:16 -0700 (PDT), Vickie
<lilliputianbizzare@gmail.com> wrote:

>On Apr 14, 9:09*am, Gigglz <Frek...@Hotmail.com> wrote:
>> On Mon, 14 Apr 2008 08:59:12 -0700 (PDT), Vickie
>
>>
>> <lilliputianbizz...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> >On Apr 14, 8:24*am, Gigglz <Frek...@Hotmail.com> wrote:
>> >> none of us want it any more, honey. *i'm so sorry you went through
>> >> this.
>> >> can you take the xanax earlier on, so that you don't get to that
>> >> point? *why put yourself thru that misery, when you have meds to
>> >> prevent it? *
>> >> i'm not sure what meds you are on, vickie...but perhaps you need an
>> >> adjustment?
>> >> vent any time, and don't beat yourself up for having an illness.
>
>>
>> >I readjusted my SSRI, with docs permission, about, hmm a year ago,
>> >and it is working fairly well.
>>
>> good, hun!
>
>Yeah. After rocking and rolling on the same dose for quite awhile, it
>felt a crushing blow to me to have to up the meds. But on that one, I
>let myself off the hook fairly early into it.


i'm glad you let yourself off the hook.
i mean when you think about it...a diabetic needs insulin. you needed
your medication for your health. sometimes doses have to be adjusted.



>> >As far as taking the Xanax earlier, I should, I really really should,
>> >but I have this damn notion in my head that I can't get rid of.
>> >It's the "Stick it out, you can do this, you don't have to have it, do
>> >your methods, come on! why are you so weak!" thing going on in my
>> >head.
>>
>> i think we ALL tend to do this. *we don't want to 'give in', so to
>> speak! *i've FINALLY learned though...when i feel it 'coming on', i
>> just take the damn pill. *it saves me from lots of stress and misery.
>> but, it took me a LONG TIME to get to that point.
>>
>> >I don't know why I can't get past it. *In fact, any person I know that
>> >needs med help, I tell them to do it, don't suffer. *I *want* it to
>> >rub off on me, but in the long years I have been dealing with this, I
>> >still have this mental block about it.
>>
>> maybe you could get yourself a shock collar :-) * <wink>
>
>lol, sounds about right

hehehehe, maybe i could get one too. we could get a blue light
special?


>> are you telling me you are stubborn, vickie? *:-) * LOL
>
>Ah hell, yep, that I am.


i have some of that myself. <slapping self on head>



>> i know this is very hard, hun. *you just have to listen to what you
>> are saying. *eventually, it will stick, sweetie.
>>
>> >Why can't I just do what I have to do? *Why do I wait so long until I
>> >am a downright mess? *I get so angry at myself, at this whole thing.

maybe you aren't QUITE sick of it enough yet? LOL
do you ever talk to a therapist? perhaps that would help you?
anxiety causes us to sometimes act irrationally.


>> you want to be stronger than 'IT', but anxiety is very powerful. *the
>> worse it gets, the less able we are to rationalize and then it takes
>> over. *i guess you gotta just DO IT. *put that pill out on your
>> counter, and know it's there...SEE it. *put a glass of water next to
>> it. *when you feel it coming on...swallow! *this is what i started
>> doing. *it made it easier. *or, find another mind game of sorts that
>> will work for you. *getting angry with yourself will only make it
>> worse. *we have these meds for a reason. *anxiety doesn't make sense.
>> even if we know inside things are 'OK', they don't FEEL OK. *i hate it
>> too, but i'm so thankful for meds if and when i need them.
>
>I do want to be stronger than 'IT'. It just ain't happening right
>now.


keep trying, OK?


>My new mantra will be...Just Do It. (or is that a Nike thing?)


well i'm sure nike would not mind if you used it :-) LOL



>> hang in there, girlfriend.
>
>Yep, <sigh> steady on. And right back at ya.
>
>Vickie


it is going to get better. it always does :-)

hugs,
gigglz

Yep, you knew just what I was trying to say. Love from Nanny
"Anna" <kojech@planet.nl> wrote in message
news:66gbq7F2ijo06U1@mid.individual.net...
> nanny schreef:
>> So true, Anna, so true. Vicki, you'll feel better once it's all over.
>> Have you ever had trouble with social anxiety? I can't be around other
>> people too long, or one on one (like say, over lunch) without getting
>> very nervous and jittery. Nanny
>
>
> YUP I can be around people very good BUT not in my house !
> It makes me feel so anxious Even with those I know for such a long time.
> One on one makes me feel so responsible Like I am the one it all depends
> on And in the process I feel I am not Anna anymore !
>
>
> Love from Anna

I know Vickie, it's such a vicious circle! When I was having panic attacks
every day, I tried to stop them by isolating myself in my own home. That's
the danger of Agoraphobia. And, yes, I remember getting panicky just
thinking about having a panic attack. They seem to "creep up on you". One
second, everything seems tolerable, the next second, boom, it comes, with
all its scary symptoms. It's a horrible, horrible feeling. Nanny
"Vickie" <lilliputianbizzare@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:8e97a4e7-9ce9-4103-87de-0e3c511ff982@s33g2000pri.googlegroups.com...
On Apr 13, 8:23 pm, "nanny" <gloria...@woh.rr.com> wrote:

> So true, Anna, so true. Vicki, you'll feel better once it's all over. Have
> you ever had trouble with social anxiety? I can't be around other people
> too long, or one on one (like say, over lunch) without getting very
> nervous
> and jittery. Nanny

Social anxiety? Yeah, I have that. I have most all anxiety/panic.
The worst being panic from the fear of panic.

I am one of the many that can have normal situational anxiety that
gets out of control. I am one of the many who can be having a grand
old time and out of the blue.....panic.

And I am in a lovely mess right now, as my last therapist (two years
ago) kind of, well, she sucked pretty much, and I had a few full
blown, dash out of the room, panic attacks there with her. Needless
to say, I am not very keen on going to therapy....therapy = panic.

Nice, eh? Fine kettle of fish I am in now.

Vickie

On Apr 16, 5:01*pm, "nanny" <gloria...@woh.rr.com> wrote:
> I know Vickie, it's such a vicious circle! *When I was having panic attacks
> every day, I tried to stop them by isolating myself in my own home. *That's
> the danger of Agoraphobia. *And, yes, I remember getting panicky just
> thinking about having a panic attack. *They seem to "creep up on you". *One
> second, everything seems tolerable, the next second, boom, it comes, with
> all its scary symptoms. *It's a horrible, horrible feeling. *

Yes, .luckily things are cooling down now. I feel a bit better.

I have been thinking on the whole social anxiety thing. Is it fear of
being around people or is it fear of people seeing you panic around
them?

Which ever the definition is, I am the latter of the two. Only three
people have seen me in that state and I couldn't bear to think of
someone else witnessing it.

Although, a therapist asked me once what I thought I looked like in a
state of panic, which I admitted I thought I looked monstrous and a
wreck and crazy. She said I looked nothing of the kind.

It doesn't feel that way though.

Vickie




Nanny"Vickie" <lilliputianbizz...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:8e97a4e7-9ce9-4103-87de-0e3c511ff982@s33g2000pri.googlegroups.com...
> On Apr 13, 8:23 pm, "nanny" <gloria...@woh.rr.com> wrote:
>
> > So true, Anna, so true. Vicki, you'll feel better once it's all over. Have
> > you ever had trouble with social anxiety? I can't be around other people
> > too long, or one on one (like say, over lunch) without getting very
> > nervous
> > and jittery. Nanny
>
> Social anxiety? *Yeah, I have that. *I have most all anxiety/panic.
> The worst being panic from the fear of panic.
>
> I am one of the many that can have normal situational anxiety that
> gets out of control. *I am one of the many who can be having a grand
> old time and out of the blue.....panic.
>
> And I am in a lovely mess right now, as my last therapist (two years
> ago) kind of, well, she sucked pretty much, and I had a few full
> blown, dash out of the room, panic attacks there with her. *Needless
> to say, I am not very keen on going to therapy....therapy = panic.
>
> Nice, eh? *Fine kettle of fish I am in now.
>
> Vickie

Hey, sorry for the late reply,

Take it from someone who had had to deal with panic attacks almost
completely without meds; it is natural to feel like that.

What I do when I feel an attack coming on is to accept it. Say to
myself "f**k it! if I die, I die, so what?", also you are probably
thinking "what if [insert your favorite panic crazy thought]" never
think what if.

Also you need to try and put this into perspective. As sufferers of
this terrible condition our minds are changed forever. We often forget
that anxiety is a normal reaction to stress and adrenaline and most of
the time we bring on the attacks ourselves by dwelling on how we feel.

I hope that sounded right. I'm not trying to blame you or anything.
This is what happens to me...and based on what I have read these past
few weeks after getting a new laptop and net connection other people
think this way too!

I hope things are improving for you!


-Joe

On Apr 17, 10:54*am, Joe.P.Mann...@googlemail.com wrote:
> Hey, sorry for the late reply,
>
> Take it from someone who had had * to deal with panic attacks almost
> completely without meds; it is natural to feel like that.
>
> What I do when I feel an attack coming on is to accept it. Say to
> myself "f**k it! if I die, I die, so what?", also you are probably
> thinking "what if [insert your favorite panic crazy thought]" never
> think what if.

Yeah, sometimes I can do that.

>
> Also you need to try and put this into perspective. As sufferers of
> this terrible condition our minds are changed forever. We often forget
> that anxiety is a normal reaction to stress and adrenaline and most of
> the time we bring on the attacks ourselves by dwelling on how we feel.

Yep.

>
> I hope that sounded right. I'm not trying to blame you or anything.
> This is what happens to me...and based on what I have read these past
> few weeks after getting a new laptop and net connection other people
> think this way too!

It is my experience as well.

One of the worst things for me is when I am fine, la la la, and then
kaboom!- panic. With the SSRI's I have, this doesn't happen as often,
but when it does it is hard to catch yourself and try to reason it all
out.
Then there is that tipping point. You either are - okay good, that
sucked but I am getting a grip -or- nope, here we go, I cant stop it,
oh sh**!

>
> I hope things are improving for you!

They are. Thanks.

Vickie

Vickie, I read somewhere that fear of madness is most common in women
and fear of heart attack in men...inreresting stuff!

-Joe

On Apr 17, 6:23*pm, Joe.P.Mann...@googlemail.com wrote:
> Vickie, I read somewhere that fear of madness is most common in women
> and fear of heart attack in men...inreresting stuff!
>

Well then, that certainly applies to you and I.

Just another reason why looking into the differences in male and
female brain chemistry, and as a result-- gender specific AD meds--
may help us all.

Vickie

On Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:23:31 -0700 (PDT), Joe.P.Mannion@googlemail.com
wrote:

>Vickie, I read somewhere that fear of madness is most common in women
>and fear of heart attack in men...inreresting stuff!
>
>-Joe


i don't know about you, vickie...by i think i'm already "mad" :-)

giggz

On Apr 18, 5:13*am, Gigglz <Frek...@Hotmail.com> wrote:
> On Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:23:31 -0700 (PDT), Joe.P.Mann...@googlemail.com
> wrote:
>
> >Vickie, I read somewhere that fear of madness is most common in women
> >and fear of heart attack in men...inreresting stuff!
>
> >-Joe
>
> i don't know about you, vickie...by i think i'm already "mad" *:-)
>

Abso-fing-lutely.

Vickie

On Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:32:17 -0700 (PDT), Vickie
<lilliputianbizzare@gmail.com> wrote:

>On Apr 18, 5:13*am, Gigglz <Frek...@Hotmail.com> wrote:
>> On Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:23:31 -0700 (PDT), Joe.P.Mann...@googlemail.com
>> wrote:
>>
>> >Vickie, I read somewhere that fear of madness is most common in women
>> >and fear of heart attack in men...inreresting stuff!
>>
>> >-Joe
>>
>> i don't know about you, vickie...by i think i'm already "mad" *:-)
>>
>
>Abso-fing-lutely.
>
>Vickie

LOL
i knew we were on the same page :-)

giggz

Joe, I have "both" fears. My Mother has Dementia and my Dad had heart
disease. Actually, the heart problem is my main concern. Nanny
"Vickie" <lilliputianbizzare@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:6e629cb1-6db1-41ee-9c78-d023a4dee77b@k10g2000prm.googlegroups.com...
On Apr 18, 5:13 am, Gigglz <Frek...@Hotmail.com> wrote:
> On Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:23:31 -0700 (PDT), Joe.P.Mann...@googlemail.com
> wrote:
>
> >Vickie, I read somewhere that fear of madness is most common in women
> >and fear of heart attack in men...inreresting stuff!
>
> >-Joe
>
> i don't know about you, vickie...by i think i'm already "mad" :-)
>

Abso-fing-lutely.

Vickie

nanny schreef:
> Yep, you knew just what I was trying to say. Love from Nanny
> "Anna" <kojech@planet.nl> wrote in message
> news:66gbq7F2ijo06U1@mid.individual.net...
>> nanny schreef:
>>> So true, Anna, so true. Vicki, you'll feel better once it's all over.
>>> Have you ever had trouble with social anxiety? I can't be around other
>>> people too long, or one on one (like say, over lunch) without getting
>>> very nervous and jittery. Nanny
>>
>> YUP I can be around people very good BUT not in my house !
>> It makes me feel so anxious Even with those I know for such a long time.
>> One on one makes me feel so responsible Like I am the one it all depends
>> on And in the process I feel I am not Anna anymore !
>>
>>
>> Love from Anna
>
>
Do you think we are mental parrots :-)


Love from Anna

It just could be, Anna ;-) Nanny
"Anna" <kojech@planet.nl> wrote in message
news:67b8n6F2liip2U2@mid.individual.net...
> nanny schreef:
>> Yep, you knew just what I was trying to say. Love from Nanny
>> "Anna" <kojech@planet.nl> wrote in message
>> news:66gbq7F2ijo06U1@mid.individual.net...
>>> nanny schreef:
>>>> So true, Anna, so true. Vicki, you'll feel better once it's all over.
>>>> Have you ever had trouble with social anxiety? I can't be around other
>>>> people too long, or one on one (like say, over lunch) without getting
>>>> very nervous and jittery. Nanny
>>>
>>> YUP I can be around people very good BUT not in my house !
>>> It makes me feel so anxious Even with those I know for such a long time.
>>> One on one makes me feel so responsible Like I am the one it all depends
>>> on And in the process I feel I am not Anna anymore !
>>>
>>>
>>> Love from Anna
>>
>>
> Do you think we are mental parrots :-)
>
>
> Love from Anna