So why are we so frightened of public speaking?

The need of public speaking is increasing and more people than ever are
finding themselves talking in front a groups of people. Many years ago,
I remember being a member of a small select group of business people,
our aim was to learn skills from each other. We were a small group of
about 10-12 people and I felt very comfortable talking to each of them
until the day of the debate arrived. As an exercise we organised a
debate whereby group A defended a proposed equal rights for women and
group B debated against it (most of the participants were women by the
way). After a chairperson was elected and the two groups chosen I watch
in admiration as each participant confidently put their view across
publicly. It wasn't until I stood up and noticed everyone was looking
at me that my palms began to sweat. I clutched at my script and shaking
like a leaf put forward my view point. I knew everyone could see how
frightened I was. I imagined my speech was inferior. It wasn't until
the end of the debate, just after I had received several compliments
and reassurances from my peers that I felt my efforts were worthwhile.
When I look back I realise my expectations were distorted and therefore
allowed fear to intrude with my chain of thought.
The following lists some of the most common worries that lead to
self-sabotage:

* Being caught out, getting something wrong
* Being laughed off stage
* Damaging your career through poor performance
* Encountering a public criticism or a heckler type
* Losing control of the audience
* Not being able to answer a question
* Not being about to remember lines
* Unable to speak or get the words out.
* Worrying about what others think

G Slinn DHP
http://www.vax6.com

I am blessed. Public speaking is not a problem. I can stand in front of any
number of folks and speak. It is going shopping or to a restaurant where I face
anxiety. In front of a group, as the center of attention, with possible
detractors in the audience, easy to do. Individually speaking to folks is the
problem. As an audience, they are not near enough to strike me. One on one
conversation they are close enough the physically strike.

On 10 Dec 2006 14:19:02 -0800, gslinn@googlemail.com wrote:

> * Being caught out, getting something wrong

Ho hum, I have my resources. Not the full world of knowledge. If you have
different, perhaps better information, share it.

> * Being laughed off stage

Is my hair out of order ;^)? Is my choice of clothing unusual ;^)? I am a
performer, here for your entertainment.

Now we can laugh and joke or we can learn more about the topic of the day!
Those that wish to learn, please remain. Those that have no desire to learn,
please leave now. No refunds. Have a good day.

> * Damaging your career through poor performance

Work the crowd. If the crowd is non responsive, find a new crowd or different
career. I am self employed. Most of the time my non responsive audience is
livestock or plant crops. Just keep a calm tone and quietly tell them what
fools they be. Humans need a little more gentle care, but much the same
treatment. The secret is how to tell someone they are a fool without offending
or insulting the someone.

> * Encountering a public criticism or a heckler type

"Dear heckler or judgmental type would you like to speak? I was hired to speak,
but if you feel you have more important topic I am sure the 'authorities' in
charge of this can find a time for you. Now is my time to speak. Please, be
quiet and listen, or leave. I will answer questions after I speak."

> * Losing control of the audience

Swap topics or method of delivery. Some times, a long pause works.

> * Not being able to answer a question

"I am sorry but I do not have that information. Meet with me when this is over
and I will try to give you some ideas of where to start your research."

> * Not being about to remember lines

Remembered lines are only important if you are in a play. Paraphairs and
continue.

> * Unable to speak or get the words out.

Think of your audience in their underwear or some other ridiculous condition.
The audience also has fears about appearing stupid. Joke about having your
tongue twisted around your eye teeth and continue.

> * Worrying about what others think

What others? Remember they are sitting there waiting for you to deliver your
wisdom while sitting in their underwear! ;^)

>
>G Slinn DHP