i've addressed this in a few recent posts, but as most that know me are
aware of, i'm titrating. NOT detoxing, but titrating.
after the transition from
xanax to
klonopin (ugh... and double ugh)and
from 4 mg xanax to 1 mg klonopin, i went home to alabama. i ended up
in the ER for a night, bp off tha charts.
i know what's right and what's wrong within the titration arena. one
"right thing" is to keep a calmness, (meditation, physical movement, a
soft place to be, etc.)as well as a peace and know the anti-christ WILL
enter the building.
my titration became a "HELP ME LORD" process when at my family's home,
and that was that, i took 5 mgs of xanax in that 9 day period, along
with the ER experience.
i went back to oklahoma and self-medicated with tons of rum, which i
found fun. i guess i'll always find that stuff fun. i did it for a
couplah days, then back to my 1 mg klonopin.
the "clarity" that came with my original transition was awesome, even
knowing the uphill battle before me with my trip home.
the uphill battle was as predicted.
i haven't lost faith, i've lost footing. i've made a few strides that
some may consider "accomplishments."
for those that are wondering about the titration from benzos, i would
say:
"try it."
"keep an open mind."
"don't beat yourself up."
"know the initial 'thoughts and feelings' are merely euphoria. the work
is still a challenge in the road yer lookin' at, tha one with tha fork
in it that you'll take. you WILL come to many forks in tha road and
you'll take'em."
"as soon as ya "s'cuze me while i kiss tha sky", tha sky may fall."
"know the sky is pick-up-able."
"there are no failures."
"know you will fall in touch with you and know you will fall in and out
of love with you."
"know you can only do what you can do, but at least you're doing
'something."
....and accept what you are capable of.
you are NOT your disorder.
you have power but not control over your disorder.
**** Guess there are times when we all need to share a little pain
And ironing out the rough spots
Is the hardest part when memories remain
And it's times like these when we all need to hear the radio
`Cause from the lips of some old singer
We can share the troubles we already know
Turn them on, turn them on
Turn on those sad songs
When all hope is gone
Why don't you tune in and turn them on
They reach into your room
Just feel their gentle touch
When all hope is gone
Sad songs say so much
If someone else is suffering enough to write it down
When every single word makes sense
Then it's easier to have those songs around
The kick inside is in the line that finally gets to you
and it feels so good to hurt so bad
And suffer just enough to sing the blues
Sad songs, they say
Sad songs, they say so much ****
....and look at those sad songs. if all hope's ever gone, sad songs
mean so much.
most of all, if you are looking to de-medicate:
"feel the fear and do it anyway."
~t
xanax titration: an update 
Linear Mode
