Cool jokes

There is a couple of new ones in here.


Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex,
marriage and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my
wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied,
"I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"


A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad,
where did all of my intelligence come from?" The
father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from
your mother, cause I still have mine"


Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,"
the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to
give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your
honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll
try to send her a few bucks myself."


A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside and
said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great
cook and really good with the kids.


An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can
remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40
years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to
tell me the exact words that were used to put the
curse on you. The old man says without hesitation,
"I now pronounce you man and wife."


This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring
at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen.
Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he
walks over and asks, "How do you get into those
pants?" The young woman looks him over and replies,
"Well, you could start by buying me a drink."


Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter
and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked
at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by
accident." She replied, "I know that, Grandpa." He
replied, "How did you know?" She said, "Because you
didn't say "asshole" afterwards".


.... Giving money to Government is like giving drugs to addicts.
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12