just to let you all know

i am swamped right now with issues and emails and ng messages. want you to
know i am reading them and taking notes and will respond as soon as I can.
more issues just popped up too so trying to get everything settled and then
will get back on track again.


--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo

SJ, you do what you got to do, and don't worry about us or replying to
us. We're always here and ready to support you in what ever way we can,
but you don't need the added stress of feeling like you have to reply to
each individual. You know we love you!!!

..
..
..
..

Donna
..
..
..
..
1.) ANGELS EXIST, but some times, since they don't all have wings, we
call them FRIENDS......


2.) May God's richest blessings be
upon you both today and
throughout the year.
May His blessings flow through
you to touch the lives of
everyone you meet.

jo, you take your time. we'll be here when you need us.

diane

hey, you! ((((((((((((((((((((((sj))))))))))))))))))) just because i wanna
hug you. we'll be here waiting for you when your swamp is drained.<smile>

kate
"Squirrely" <sqjo@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:48d6f042$0$33593$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net...
i am swamped right now with issues and emails and ng messages. want you to
know i am reading them and taking notes and will respond as soon as I can.
more issues just popped up too so trying to get everything settled and then
will get back on track again.


--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo

I know that, I was alone this weekend, Jim had to go down to his dads and
help him out. so I tried to do a few things here and boy that was a wrong
move.

can barely walk now.

also found out his aunt might have spinal or hip cancer and so Jim might be
a caregiver to 4 of us now. his neice has heart issues and she can't take
care of herself let alone take care of the aunt.

also upset my one son and he is not talking to me because I said I wanted
them to respect my DNR that Jim and I have been talking about the last few
weeks if anything should happen to me. and the other son didn't answer me
telling him. so not sure if he is upset with me too or not.


--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo
"Donna G."
>
>
>
>
> SJ, you do what you got to do, and don't worry about us or replying to
> us. We're always here and ready to support you in what ever way we can,
> but you don't need the added stress of feeling like you have to reply to
> each individual. You know we love you!!!
>
> .
> .
> .
> .
>
> Donna
> .
> .
> .
> .
> 1.) ANGELS EXIST, but some times, since they don't all have wings, we
> call them FRIENDS......
>
>
> 2.) May God's richest blessings be
> upon you both today and
> throughout the year.
> May His blessings flow through
> you to touch the lives of
> everyone you meet.
>

thanks for the hugs, need them. love you all.

--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo

> hey, you! ((((((((((((((((((((((sj))))))))))))))))))) just because i
> wanna
> hug you. we'll be here waiting for you when your swamp is drained.<smile>
>
> kate

im here, just slow about it. ;-0


--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo

> jo, you take your time. we'll be here when you need us.
>
> diane

"Squirrely" <sqjo@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:48d71c95$0$33591$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net...
>I know that, I was alone this weekend, Jim had to go down to his dads and
>help him out. so I tried to do a few things here and boy that was a wrong
>move.
>
> can barely walk now.
>
> also found out his aunt might have spinal or hip cancer and so Jim might
> be a caregiver to 4 of us now. his neice has heart issues and she can't
> take care of herself let alone take care of the aunt.
>
> also upset my one son and he is not talking to me because I said I wanted
> them to respect my DNR that Jim and I have been talking about the last few
> weeks if anything should happen to me. and the other son didn't answer me
> telling him. so not sure if he is upset with me too or not.

That's a big choice to have made. As your friend, someone who was involved
in family discussions when my mom ultimately made that choice, and as an
attorney, I hope you have made that decision for the right reason - that you
are ready to stop treatment because further treatment would not change your
health for the better or buy you more time until the right treatment is
found.

Wrong reasons would be: not wanting to be a 'burden' to family; feeling
overwhelmed by the financial issues and lack of social services support; not
knowing how to go about getting the right diagnosis and treatment, feeling
your care consumes too much of the family's financial, emotional and
physical resources.

We would shower you with cash if we could. But unless Powerball comes
through - that isn't an option. So, in the mean time -

Ask your angel of a pulmonologist to get you a referral to the social worker
in the hospital he normally treats you in. Its the social workers job to try
and figure out how to get patients the care and services they need. Let THEM
work on getting the tests and the medications you really need, especially if
you may need to be hospitalized for their duration. They can also find the
right agencies to be working with you on housing, home care, etc.

If that doesn't work - Are you connected to a church which might have
someone in the congregation who can help find the services you need? no? -
The white pages of your phone book can be your friend. There is usually a
section in the front area devoted to community resources. Call every agency
that has anything to do with elder care and affairs, disabled care and
affairs. Keep notes, because it will be a lot of talking to people. You may
get put on hold or transferred - keep notes on every person and agency you
speak to avoid having two people at the same agency working on the case.
Call one, two or three a day. Or more, if you feel up to it.

Contact the local United Way about what agencies help the disabled in your
area. And depending on where you are in CA, there may also be local
counseling or public service agencies which are holdovers from the
grassroots 'helping one another' movement of the late '60's and early '70's.
I volunteered for just such a group in Cambridge, MA. They had volunteer
psychologists, social workers, and attorneys who did either family law,
disability law or immigration law. They were modeled after some agencies in
San Francisco and Berkeley (I think).

There is help out there, but you have to be proactive about getting it.
Believe me, my second and third generation welfare clients were very adept
at knowing exactly what they were entitled to under the welfare system. Its
new to you, its confusing, but its there - so use it. And honey - I don't
mean to offend, but you will need to set aside that part of you that prefers
to be passive and takes what comes. You need to wrap the victim part of you
in a blanket, send her to bed, and find the Mama Bear in you. Take care of
yourself as if you were a friend or one of your children.

Sending love - Adelle

Squirrely wrote:
> I know that, I was alone this weekend, Jim had to go down to his dads and
> help him out. so I tried to do a few things here and boy that was a wrong
> move.
>
> can barely walk now.
>
> also found out his aunt might have spinal or hip cancer and so Jim might be
> a caregiver to 4 of us now. his neice has heart issues and she can't take
> care of herself let alone take care of the aunt.
>
> also upset my one son and he is not talking to me because I said I wanted
> them to respect my DNR that Jim and I have been talking about the last few
> weeks if anything should happen to me. and the other son didn't answer me
> telling him. so not sure if he is upset with me too or not.
>
>
Mom.. a DNR is your choice.. we will respect that choice and carry out
your wishes *IF* that time comes and something god forbid happens to
you. Just remember we love you dearly and are here for you!

I know that SD, I just felt that maybe your SO might be kind of upset
because I was mentioning it. But it is something we do have to discuss since
we don't know what is going on here at the moment. I know you would want
what I want for me.

I was saying upset in the fact that none of like to hear talk of this kind
but I can't wait till the last minute to let my wishes be known. I don't
want my three guys fighting about it either. I didn't know if your guy was
upset or just busy and not talking to me last night about it. it was the
other one that stopped talking to me completely.

I know you love me and are here for me. We might need you all soon. It is
getting hairy with dad, grandpa, me, aunt ruby and patty.

found out more about grandma too and will be passing it on to both of you
tomorrow.
all is well the police did scare the heck out of jim when he got home right
after they got here. don't know what made the loud crash and then messed
with the phone line after chris and I got disconnected. the phone went
totally static and then it sounded like someone was pushing the hang up
thingy. so that is why I called the police. scared me there for awhile.



--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo

>>
>> also upset my one son and he is not talking to me because I said I wanted
>> them to respect my DNR that Jim and I have been talking about the last
>> few weeks if anything should happen to me. and the other son didn't
>> answer me telling him. so not sure if he is upset with me too or not.
>>
>>
> Mom.. a DNR is your choice.. we will respect that choice and carry out
> your wishes *IF* that time comes and something god forbid happens to you.
> Just remember we love you dearly and are here for you!

Jo...lots of hugs and prayers my friend...Adelle gave you some great
advice..sometimes we just get so so tired of fighting for everything we
get, but a Good Social Worker will fight for you...
If we could only win that power ball...
I am sorry that I have not been around much to offer support..just haven't
been reading as much...I am making a point to read and answer now...too many
of my friends here need extra prayers and hugs...
Cindy
"Squirrely" <sqjo@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:48d6f042$0$33593$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net...
>i am swamped right now with issues and emails and ng messages. want you to
>know i am reading them and taking notes and will respond as soon as I can.
>more issues just popped up too so trying to get everything settled and then
>will get back on track again.
>
>
> --
> Love and hugs to all
> Love Squirrely Jo
>

Squirrely wrote:
> I know that SD, I just felt that maybe your SO might be kind of upset
> because I was mentioning it. But it is something we do have to discuss since
> we don't know what is going on here at the moment. I know you would want
> what I want for me.
>
> I was saying upset in the fact that none of like to hear talk of this kind
> but I can't wait till the last minute to let my wishes be known. I don't
> want my three guys fighting about it either. I didn't know if your guy was
> upset or just busy and not talking to me last night about it. it was the
> other one that stopped talking to me completely.
>
> I know you love me and are here for me. We might need you all soon. It is
> getting hairy with dad, grandpa, me, aunt ruby and patty.
>
> found out more about grandma too and will be passing it on to both of you
> tomorrow.
> all is well the police did scare the heck out of jim when he got home right
> after they got here. don't know what made the loud crash and then messed
> with the phone line after chris and I got disconnected. the phone went
> totally static and then it sounded like someone was pushing the hang up
> thingy. so that is why I called the police. scared me there for awhile.
>
>
>
It's good that you are ok. "A" has been busy he's been working on the
monte trying to get it up and running. (Lots been happening there) and
then with work changing things around it's making it difficult. I was
thrust back in to Leesa's position as accounting and managing. and I"m
having to relearn how to do *everything* I've been dreaming about work
and not in a good way and stressing out about it all week basically all
the time. I'm worried I'm going to screw up which I have already to some
extent but it was not my fault again lauri did not do her job. I've also
found out that I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and have been
mentally dealing witht hat so it's been a ride so to speak.

Anyway I have to jet to work I'll talk atyou later today..

remember, please, that you don't have to respond to each one of us
individually, it's more then ok to bunch replies. Just let us know you're
still alive, so we don't let our fears for your situation get the better of
us.

--
Nann
remove the Gator cheer to email me
Change everything. Love & forgive.


On Sun, 21 Sep 2008 21:09:21 -0400, Squirrely wrote
(in message <48d6f042$0$33593$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net>):

> i am swamped right now with issues and emails and ng messages. want you to
> know i am reading them and taking notes and will respond as soon as I can.
> more issues just popped up too so trying to get everything settled and then
> will get back on track again.
>
>
>

Just accept out prayers, Squirrely and our love.

--
Navy
Take out the FISH to email me.
"Squirrely" <sqjo@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:48d6f042$0$33593$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net...
>i am swamped right now with issues and emails and ng messages. want you to
>know i am reading them and taking notes and will respond as soon as I can.
>more issues just popped up too so trying to get everything settled and then
>will get back on track again.
>
>
> --
> Love and hugs to all
> Love Squirrely Jo
>

Sorry forgot this:

(((((((((((((((((((((Squirrely))))))))))))))))))

--
Navy
Take out the FISH to email me.
"Squirrely" <sqjo@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:48d6f042$0$33593$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net...
>i am swamped right now with issues and emails and ng messages. want you to
>know i am reading them and taking notes and will respond as soon as I can.
>more issues just popped up too so trying to get everything settled and then
>will get back on track again.
>
>
> --
> Love and hugs to all
> Love Squirrely Jo
>

What she said.

--
Navy
Take out the FISH to email me.
"Nann Bell" <hanbellGOGATORS@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:0001HW.C4FD49620114AF57F0284550@news.east.ear thlink.net...
> remember, please, that you don't have to respond to each one of us
> individually, it's more then ok to bunch replies. Just let us know you're
> still alive, so we don't let our fears for your situation get the better
> of
> us.
>
> --
> Nann
> remove the Gator cheer to email me
> Change everything. Love & forgive.
>
>
> On Sun, 21 Sep 2008 21:09:21 -0400, Squirrely wrote
> (in message <48d6f042$0$33593$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net>):
>
>> i am swamped right now with issues and emails and ng messages. want you
>> to
>> know i am reading them and taking notes and will respond as soon as I
>> can.
>> more issues just popped up too so trying to get everything settled and
>> then
>> will get back on track again.
>>
>>
>>
>
>

prayers are starting to work at least Jim got a call today for a day of
work.


--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo

Just accept out prayers, Squirrely and our love.
>
> --
> Navy

can always use them

--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo

> Sorry forgot this:
>
> (((((((((((((((((((((Squirrely))))))))))))))))))
>
> --
> Navy

Prayers coming your way, too, air express.

--
Navy
Take out the FISH to email me.
"Squirrely" <sqjo@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:48d81460$0$33547$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net...
> can always use them
>
> --
> Love and hugs to all
> Love Squirrely Jo
>
>> Sorry forgot this:
>>
>> (((((((((((((((((((((Squirrely))))))))))))))))))
>>
>> --
>> Navy
>
>

Nann,

you just said what I was afraid would happen and that is really why I was
going to run and hide. I don't want you all to be afraid if you don't hear
from me that I might not be here anymore. I know how that feels and I didn't
want anyone here to feel that.


--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo

> remember, please, that you don't have to respond to each one of us
> individually, it's more then ok to bunch replies. Just let us know you're
> still alive, so we don't let our fears for your situation get the better
> of
> us.
>
> --
> Nann
> remove the Gator cheer to email me
> Change everything. Love & forgive.

choice made because of so many of the chronic illnesses I have can end in
death as it is so no use resisitating me and then just have me drop off for
one of the others anyways. tired of fighting it all. and cant live with it
anymore. no i would not commit suicide, went that route once before when I
was 17 and found out it is not an answer. the copd is not going to get
better ever and can't see myself constantly not being able to breathe.

lots of suggestions here and I will try them. some i have already tired but
not all of them. so as soon as I can i will start calling. thanks so much. I
will print out this one to have on hand. the others I wrote out but yours is
so full of info I need to print it out.

--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo
>
> That's a big choice to have made. As your friend, someone who was involved
> in family discussions when my mom ultimately made that choice, and as an
> attorney, I hope you have made that decision for the right reason - that
> you are ready to stop treatment because further treatment would not change
> your health for the better or buy you more time until the right treatment
> is found.
>
> Wrong reasons would be: not wanting to be a 'burden' to family; feeling
> overwhelmed by the financial issues and lack of social services support;
> not knowing how to go about getting the right diagnosis and treatment,
> feeling your care consumes too much of the family's financial, emotional
> and physical resources.
>
> We would shower you with cash if we could. But unless Powerball comes
> through - that isn't an option. So, in the mean time -
>
> Ask your angel of a pulmonologist to get you a referral to the social
> worker in the hospital he normally treats you in. Its the social workers
> job to try and figure out how to get patients the care and services they
> need. Let THEM work on getting the tests and the medications you really
> need, especially if you may need to be hospitalized for their duration.
> They can also find the right agencies to be working with you on housing,
> home care, etc.
>
> If that doesn't work - Are you connected to a church which might have
> someone in the congregation who can help find the services you need? no? -
> The white pages of your phone book can be your friend. There is usually a
> section in the front area devoted to community resources. Call every
> agency that has anything to do with elder care and affairs, disabled care
> and affairs. Keep notes, because it will be a lot of talking to people.
> You may get put on hold or transferred - keep notes on every person and
> agency you speak to avoid having two people at the same agency working on
> the case. Call one, two or three a day. Or more, if you feel up to it.
>
> Contact the local United Way about what agencies help the disabled in your
> area. And depending on where you are in CA, there may also be local
> counseling or public service agencies which are holdovers from the
> grassroots 'helping one another' movement of the late '60's and early
> '70's. I volunteered for just such a group in Cambridge, MA. They had
> volunteer psychologists, social workers, and attorneys who did either
> family law, disability law or immigration law. They were modeled after
> some agencies in San Francisco and Berkeley (I think).
>
> There is help out there, but you have to be proactive about getting it.
> Believe me, my second and third generation welfare clients were very adept
> at knowing exactly what they were entitled to under the welfare system.
> Its new to you, its confusing, but its there - so use it. And honey - I
> don't mean to offend, but you will need to set aside that part of you that
> prefers to be passive and takes what comes. You need to wrap the victim
> part of you in a blanket, send her to bed, and find the Mama Bear in you.
> Take care of yourself as if you were a friend or one of your children.
>
> Sending love - Adelle
>
>
>

SD,

yeah I know, I wish I could be there to help you both out more too. It
really rips me that I can't.

I know you and I know you are going to do a so much better job than she ever
did. I am glad you got put in that position. Hopefully someone doesn't go
back on that when she tries to come back.

I know and I know too how much that car means to him. I wish it would go
right for him for a change.

I am so sorry to hear about the PCOS and I know there is alot to deal with
with that from what I have been hearing and reading up on it. It is not
going to be easy but then nothing has for you for years with all these
chronic issues you have been dealt and at such a young age too.

you take care and hang in there.

--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo

>>
> It's good that you are ok. "A" has been busy he's been working on the
> monte trying to get it up and running. (Lots been happening there) and
> then with work changing things around it's making it difficult. I was
> thrust back in to Leesa's position as accounting and managing. and I"m
> having to relearn how to do *everything* I've been dreaming about work and
> not in a good way and stressing out about it all week basically all the
> time. I'm worried I'm going to screw up which I have already to some
> extent but it was not my fault again lauri did not do her job. I've also
> found out that I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and have been
> mentally dealing witht hat so it's been a ride so to speak.
>
> Anyway I have to jet to work I'll talk atyou later today..

Squirrely wrote:
> SD,
>
> yeah I know, I wish I could be there to help you both out more too. It
> really rips me that I can't.
>
> I know you and I know you are going to do a so much better job than she ever
> did. I am glad you got put in that position. Hopefully someone doesn't go
> back on that when she tries to come back.
>
> I know and I know too how much that car means to him. I wish it would go
> right for him for a change.
>
> I am so sorry to hear about the PCOS and I know there is alot to deal with
> with that from what I have been hearing and reading up on it. It is not
> going to be easy but then nothing has for you for years with all these
> chronic issues you have been dealt and at such a young age too.
>
> you take care and hang in there.
>
I'm hangin' in as best I can.. I left for work this morning at 9 am and
just got home and it's 10 pm.. it's been a rather long day and a bit
overwhelming for me. After things being tense for one thing or another
and getting yelled at and berated by a customer I lost it for a few mins
around closing time.

The thing i'm dealing with the PCOS is the amount of frustration of not
being able to have children. I want kids so badly and it's going to be
extremely difficult to do so. I don't know "A"'s thoughts on it after I
told him, really don't know if he's actually dealing with it or not.
Guess people just figure if I get off all the necessary medications I'll
be fine. It's not the case. I've accepted it and I'm in the stage of
being angry about it so it will be a few days more before I fully accept
the entire thing but I'm trying..

I'm so mentally drained at this point I don't think I could think of
more words..

you are wearing yourself thin and along with finding out about the PCOS and
stuff it is just hard to keep afloat. I feel for you and wish there was
something I could do to help out. Can you take a day off or something to get
some rest and recoop.

I sent you a url for PCO that was talking about still being able to have
children. I know how much you want some.

You both are so stressed with all that is going on. It might take a bit of
time for you both to digest all this.

Yeah we do go thru the grieveing stages all over again for what we lose
everytime we get a new diagnosis. SD my heart does go out to you big time.

I can imagine how drained you are. You take care and try to get some rest
and relax as you can.
You know I am there in heart if I can't be there in person.


--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo

> I'm hangin' in as best I can.. I left for work this morning at 9 am and
> just got home and it's 10 pm.. it's been a rather long day and a bit
> overwhelming for me. After things being tense for one thing or another and
> getting yelled at and berated by a customer I lost it for a few mins
> around closing time.
>
> The thing i'm dealing with the PCOS is the amount of frustration of not
> being able to have children. I want kids so badly and it's going to be
> extremely difficult to do so. I don't know "A"'s thoughts on it after I
> told him, really don't know if he's actually dealing with it or not. Guess
> people just figure if I get off all the necessary medications I'll be
> fine. It's not the case. I've accepted it and I'm in the stage of being
> angry about it so it will be a few days more before I fully accept the
> entire thing but I'm trying..
>
> I'm so mentally drained at this point I don't think I could think of more
> words..
>

SD, my heart goes out to you.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SD}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} }}}}}}}}

diane

I saw the url just haven't had time to read it. It's been on busy day
after another. Yesterday seem to turn out to be a tech day for me but I
had a TON of accounting stuff that really should of been done. I also
got told that "C"'s shop is really busy which is good but I have to now
work on friday which I wasn't expecting to do it's usually my day off to
relax then during the weekend I try to get things cleaned up (I usually
fail miserably at this) I just get so so very tired I can't do anything
but sleep a lot on the weekends.. and with all this change it's just not
helping. I had a near full blown panic attack the other day.. Luckily I
didn't faint and be stuck on the shop floor for 20 mins before the
burning tingling pain would go away. So next time I'm at the doc it's
time to ask about meds for panic attacks if this is going to keep
happening.. I just feel so severely stressed out I do nothing but shake
and I can't even put in a screw into a computer or a CPU.. it's very
disheartening ...

Anyway I'm babbling.. I hope you are doing better today.. I'll talk with
you soon!

Squirrely wrote:
> you are wearing yourself thin and along with finding out about the PCOS and
> stuff it is just hard to keep afloat. I feel for you and wish there was
> something I could do to help out. Can you take a day off or something to get
> some rest and recoop.
>
> I sent you a url for PCO that was talking about still being able to have
> children. I know how much you want some.
>
> You both are so stressed with all that is going on. It might take a bit of
> time for you both to digest all this.
>
> Yeah we do go thru the grieveing stages all over again for what we lose
> everytime we get a new diagnosis. SD my heart does go out to you big time.
>
> I can imagine how drained you are. You take care and try to get some rest
> and relax as you can.
> You know I am there in heart if I can't be there in person.
>
>

Diane wrote:
> SD, my heart goes out to you.
> {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SD}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} }}}}}}}}
>
> diane
thanks diane.. I've been having it a little stressful lately.. the good
thoughts help.

It was ten years before we had our first child. They had to put me on one
of those medicines, I think it was clomiphin (sp?) I've been there,
watching other people with babies, holding other people's babies, and
refusing to watch any sitcom with babies in it. It does hurt. I'm sorry
that it will be difficult to do it. I'm sending prayers your way.

--
Navy
Take out the FISH to email me.
"StrangeDiva" <stranged@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:48d87b97$0$33585$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net...
> Squirrely wrote:
>> SD,
>>
>> yeah I know, I wish I could be there to help you both out more too. It
>> really rips me that I can't.
>>
>> I know you and I know you are going to do a so much better job than she
>> ever did. I am glad you got put in that position. Hopefully someone
>> doesn't go back on that when she tries to come back.
>>
>> I know and I know too how much that car means to him. I wish it would go
>> right for him for a change.
>>
>> I am so sorry to hear about the PCOS and I know there is alot to deal
>> with with that from what I have been hearing and reading up on it. It is
>> not going to be easy but then nothing has for you for years with all
>> these chronic issues you have been dealt and at such a young age too.
>>
>> you take care and hang in there.
>>
> I'm hangin' in as best I can.. I left for work this morning at 9 am and
> just got home and it's 10 pm.. it's been a rather long day and a bit
> overwhelming for me. After things being tense for one thing or another and
> getting yelled at and berated by a customer I lost it for a few mins
> around closing time.
>
> The thing i'm dealing with the PCOS is the amount of frustration of not
> being able to have children. I want kids so badly and it's going to be
> extremely difficult to do so. I don't know "A"'s thoughts on it after I
> told him, really don't know if he's actually dealing with it or not. Guess
> people just figure if I get off all the necessary medications I'll be
> fine. It's not the case. I've accepted it and I'm in the stage of being
> angry about it so it will be a few days more before I fully accept the
> entire thing but I'm trying..
>
> I'm so mentally drained at this point I don't think I could think of more
> words..
>

no rush with the url, i know you are so busy. I wish you could have friday
off and get the rest you need. I feel for you really sweetie i do. I am glad
you didn't faint. I hope the panic attacks stop soon. I know how horrible
they can be. I am thankful I don't get them as much any more. I know when I
was on effexor that stopped them alot but when I was agorphobic, it didn't
help them much at all. the boys can sure tell you about those days when I
couldn't leave the house at all. I wish they would find something that would
help that pain for you and not have all the ugly side effects you have been
having.

not doing to great today, feeling weak and shaky and can hardly walk. also
was typing back and forth with A for about an hour on the identity theft
stuff and boy does that have my costo activated again. Shoot it took me
three times today to type up that letter so they could see what was said. I
need to get more fluids in me too as I couldn't get my whole amt in
yesterday from the throwing up stuff and boy I am dehydrated again from it.


--
Love and hugs to all
Love Squirrely Jo

>I saw the url just haven't had time to read it. It's been on busy day after
>another. Yesterday seem to turn out to be a tech day for me but I had a TON
>of accounting stuff that really should of been done. I also got told that
>"C"'s shop is really busy which is good but I have to now work on friday
>which I wasn't expecting to do it's usually my day off to relax then during
>the weekend I try to get things cleaned up (I usually fail miserably at
>this) I just get so so very tired I can't do anything but sleep a lot on
>the weekends.. and with all this change it's just not helping. I had a near
>full blown panic attack the other day.. Luckily I didn't faint and be stuck
>on the shop floor for 20 mins before the burning tingling pain would go
>away. So next time I'm at the doc it's time to ask about meds for panic
>attacks if this is going to keep happening.. I just feel so severely
>stressed out I do nothing but shake and I can't even put in a screw into a
>computer or a CPU.. it's very disheartening ...
>
> Anyway I'm babbling.. I hope you are doing better today.. I'll talk with
> you soon!
>

I'm praying for you and here are some very very gentle hugs.
(((((((((((((((Squirrely))))))))))))))))

lj

--
Navy
Take out the FISH to email me.
"Squirrely" <sqjo@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:48dc4bed$0$33542$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net...
> no rush with the url, i know you are so busy. I wish you could have friday
> off and get the rest you need. I feel for you really sweetie i do. I am
> glad you didn't faint. I hope the panic attacks stop soon. I know how
> horrible they can be. I am thankful I don't get them as much any more. I
> know when I was on effexor that stopped them alot but when I was
> agorphobic, it didn't help them much at all. the boys can sure tell you
> about those days when I couldn't leave the house at all. I wish they would
> find something that would help that pain for you and not have all the ugly
> side effects you have been having.
>
> not doing to great today, feeling weak and shaky and can hardly walk. also
> was typing back and forth with A for about an hour on the identity theft
> stuff and boy does that have my costo activated again. Shoot it took me
> three times today to type up that letter so they could see what was said.
> I need to get more fluids in me too as I couldn't get my whole amt in
> yesterday from the throwing up stuff and boy I am dehydrated again from
> it.
>
>
> --
> Love and hugs to all
> Love Squirrely Jo
>
>>I saw the url just haven't had time to read it. It's been on busy day
>>after another. Yesterday seem to turn out to be a tech day for me but I
>>had a TON of accounting stuff that really should of been done. I also got
>>told that "C"'s shop is really busy which is good but I have to now work
>>on friday which I wasn't expecting to do it's usually my day off to relax
>>then during the weekend I try to get things cleaned up (I usually fail
>>miserably at this) I just get so so very tired I can't do anything but
>>sleep a lot on the weekends.. and with all this change it's just not
>>helping. I had a near full blown panic attack the other day.. Luckily I
>>didn't faint and be stuck on the shop floor for 20 mins before the burning
>>tingling pain would go away. So next time I'm at the doc it's time to ask
>>about meds for panic attacks if this is going to keep happening.. I just
>>feel so severely stressed out I do nothing but shake and I can't even put
>>in a screw into a computer or a CPU.. it's very disheartening ...
>>
>> Anyway I'm babbling.. I hope you are doing better today.. I'll talk with
>> you soon!
>>
>
>

((((((((((((((((((((((((SD))))))))))))))))))))) I pray you get a break from
all the stress soon, so your mind and body can catch up on all that's
happening.

--
Nann
remove the Gator cheer to email me
Change everything. Love & forgive.


On Thu, 25 Sep 2008 12:56:12 -0400, StrangeDiva wrote
(in message <48dbc2ac$0$33542$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net>):

> I saw the url just haven't had time to read it. It's been on busy day
> after another. Yesterday seem to turn out to be a tech day for me but I
> had a TON of accounting stuff that really should of been done. I also
> got told that "C"'s shop is really busy which is good but I have to now
> work on friday which I wasn't expecting to do it's usually my day off to
> relax then during the weekend I try to get things cleaned up (I usually
> fail miserably at this) I just get so so very tired I can't do anything
> but sleep a lot on the weekends.. and with all this change it's just not
> helping. I had a near full blown panic attack the other day.. Luckily I
> didn't faint and be stuck on the shop floor for 20 mins before the
> burning tingling pain would go away. So next time I'm at the doc it's
> time to ask about meds for panic attacks if this is going to keep
> happening.. I just feel so severely stressed out I do nothing but shake
> and I can't even put in a screw into a computer or a CPU.. it's very
> disheartening ...
>
> Anyway I'm babbling.. I hope you are doing better today.. I'll talk with
> you soon!
>
> Squirrely wrote:
>> you are wearing yourself thin and along with finding out about the PCOS
>> and
>> stuff it is just hard to keep afloat. I feel for you and wish there was
>> something I could do to help out. Can you take a day off or something to
>> get
>> some rest and recoop.
>>
>> I sent you a url for PCO that was talking about still being able to have
>> children. I know how much you want some.
>>
>> You both are so stressed with all that is going on. It might take a bit of
>> time for you both to digest all this.
>>
>> Yeah we do go thru the grieveing stages all over again for what we lose
>> everytime we get a new diagnosis. SD my heart does go out to you big time.
>>
>> I can imagine how drained you are. You take care and try to get some rest
>> and relax as you can.
>> You know I am there in heart if I can't be there in person.
>>
>>

On Tue, 23 Sep 2008 0:34:54 -0400, Squirrely wrote
(in message <48d871ef$0$33545$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net>):

> Nann,
>
> you just said what I was afraid would happen and that is really why I was
> going to run and hide. I don't want you all to be afraid if you don't hear
> from me that I might not be here anymore. I know how that feels and I didn't
> want anyone here to feel that.

we'll be afraid for you if you run and hide at any time! You know how we are
- we worry whenever you go past any normal-for-you rest between posts. 'Tis
better to stay on the group, than to deal with all the annoying emails we'd
be sending you!

--
Nann
remove the Gator cheer to email me
Change everything. Love & forgive.

Nann Bell wrote:
> ((((((((((((((((((((((((SD))))))))))))))))))))) I pray you get a break from
> all the stress soon, so your mind and body can catch up on all that's
> happening.
>
Thanks Nann.. I've finally got everything to some point viable.. I wish
I could stay home today and take my muscle relaxer and just sleep since
my muscles are so sore from moving things around and organizing things
in the office. I really should call my pdoc about the anxiety but that
would entail having to go in and I just don't have the money to do so. I
also should bee seeing my ruemmy my joints are being painful.. and last
but not least my Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is back in my left hand it's
been swollen and *excruciatingly* painful for a few days.. so I've been
keeping it in a brace as much as possible. Biggest problem I have is I
just had surgery on it 1 year ago and a few months give or take.. and I
really don't want ot have another one.. so I'll keep wearing the brace
and taking my relafen and resting it..

thank you so much for the hug I needed it..

On Sep 25, 2:56*pm, "loujeanb" <medical23SkidooF...@sc.rr.com> wrote:
> It was ten years before we had our first child. *They had to put me on one
> of those medicines, I think it was clomiphin (sp?) *I've been there,
> watching other people with babies, holding other people's babies, and
> refusing to watch any sitcom with babies in it. *It does hurt. *I'm sorry
> that it will be difficult to do it. *I'm sending prayers your way.
>
> --
> Navy
> Take out the FISH to email me."StrangeDiva" <stran...@sonic.net> wrote inmessage
>
> news:48d87b97$0$33585$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net...
>
> > Squirrely wrote:
> >> SD,
>
> >> yeah I know, I wish I could be there to help you both out more too. It
> >> really rips me that I can't.
>
> >> I know you and I know you are going to do a so much better job than she
> >> ever did. I am glad you got put in that position. Hopefully someone
> >> doesn't go back on that when she tries to come back.
>
> >> I know and I know too how much that car means to him. I wish it would go
> >> right for him for a change.
>
> >> I am so sorry to hear about the PCOS and I know there is alot to deal
> >> with with that from what I have been hearing and reading up on it. It is
> >> not going to be easy but then nothing has for you for years with all
> >> these chronic issues you have been dealt and at such a young age too.
>
> >> you take care and hang in there.
>
> > I'm hangin' in as best I can.. I left for work this morning at 9 am and
> > just got home and it's 10 pm.. it's been a rather long day and a bit
> > overwhelming for me. After things being tense for one thing or another and
> > getting yelled at and berated by a customer I lost it for a few mins
> > around closing time.
>
> > The thing i'm dealing with the PCOS is the amount of frustration of not
> > being able to have children. I want kids so badly and it's going to be
> > extremely difficult to do so. I don't know "A"'s thoughts on it after I
> > told him, really don't know if he's actually dealing with it or not. Guess
> > people just figure if I get off all the necessary medications I'll be
> > fine. It's not the case. I've accepted it and I'm in the stage of being
> > angry about it so it will be a few days more before I fully accept the
> > entire thing but I'm trying..
>
> > I'm so mentally drained at this point I don't think I could think of more
> > words..

Thank you, I am and have been at that state with the sitcoms etc.. I'm
still there I watch kids and make them smile and it just hurts so bad
I'm 32 and my mom had me at this same age and it hurts that their two
only children both cannot have kids with out issues. My sister in law
is diabetic type II and has issues as well. It so makes my heart hurt
that I can't be normal in any way with all the medical issues. I feel
I'm just a broken record with no hope... some days are better then
others but I still have a hard time accepting all of my limitations..