Call me a survivor after I die from something else

Here's what life has been like for me for the past 2 weeks: one long panic
attack, interrupted by occasional distractions such as work and laundry.

I found a lump in my armpit. This is on the right side, where I had the
mastectomy and radiation (and subsequent plastic surgeries). I had had 15
lymph nodes removed, but it seemed to me that this felt like it must be an
enlarged lymph node. I called my breast surgeon's office immediately but
couldn't get an appointment until today.

Today dawned. I felt like you feel when you get into a car accident, at the
moment before the other car smashes into you, when you know there is no way
out.

I went to the doctor. After examining me, she sent me across the street to
the hospital for a sonogram. I had to wait more than 2 hours for the
sonogram because I was an "add-on" without a scheduled appointment.
Fortunately I'd brought a snack, but I'd forgotten my water bottle. Then
the sonogram itself took a while, because a student intern did it, and her
supervisor then repeated it.

Afterwards, I went back to the doctor's office, waited for the radiologist
to call her..............GOOD NEWS! YOU HAVE A CYST IN YOUR ARMPIT! NOT
DEATH THIS TIME! JUST A CYST!

Are you going to lance it? I stammered.

No. Just leave it alone! Go home and have a drink, the doctor said.

But I went shopping instead. Nothing crazy. I had a department store gift
card I'd never gotten around to using.

So that's what life has been like for me. I feel like telling the angel of
death to stop *hovering* already. He's really pissing me off.

Thanks for listening.

Eva

Hi Eva,

Every pimple, every bump, bruise, sore muscle - I know what you mean. If
worrying about it could bring it on -I'm sure it'd be back already (not that
it isn't and I just don't know it yet!) I hate when someone who doesn't
know I had asks "well, how are you doing" I hate to say "great - I feel
really good" because the old superstitions of my mother's generation come
flooding back!!! Back in my mind I'm saying "kiss my A__" because that's
what my superstitious grandmother said you were supposed to say when someone
complimented you! Sick - yes I'm sick in my mind!!!

I don't know how but we'll get thru this Eva, someway or another!

Tammy

"Eva" <EvaDStructionNO@NOverizon.net> wrote in message
news:vKGYj.16565$4K5.4674@trnddc03...
> Here's what life has been like for me for the past 2 weeks: one long panic
> attack, interrupted by occasional distractions such as work and laundry.
>
> I found a lump in my armpit. This is on the right side, where I had the
> mastectomy and radiation (and subsequent plastic surgeries). I had had 15
> lymph nodes removed, but it seemed to me that this felt like it must be an
> enlarged lymph node. I called my breast surgeon's office immediately but
> couldn't get an appointment until today.
>
> Today dawned. I felt like you feel when you get into a car accident, at
> the moment before the other car smashes into you, when you know there is
> no way out.
>
> I went to the doctor. After examining me, she sent me across the street
> to the hospital for a sonogram. I had to wait more than 2 hours for the
> sonogram because I was an "add-on" without a scheduled appointment.
> Fortunately I'd brought a snack, but I'd forgotten my water bottle. Then
> the sonogram itself took a while, because a student intern did it, and her
> supervisor then repeated it.
>
> Afterwards, I went back to the doctor's office, waited for the radiologist
> to call her..............GOOD NEWS! YOU HAVE A CYST IN YOUR ARMPIT! NOT
> DEATH THIS TIME! JUST A CYST!
>
> Are you going to lance it? I stammered.
>
> No. Just leave it alone! Go home and have a drink, the doctor said.
>
> But I went shopping instead. Nothing crazy. I had a department store
> gift card I'd never gotten around to using.
>
> So that's what life has been like for me. I feel like telling the angel
> of death to stop *hovering* already. He's really pissing me off.
>
> Thanks for listening.
>
> Eva
>

Eva wrote:

> Today dawned. I felt like you feel when you get into a car accident, at the
> moment before the other car smashes into you, when you know there is no way
> out.
>

I still remember what that felt like back in 1978 when it happened to
me. No fear, no panic, just 5 seconds of pure fixation on getting rid
of as much momentum as I could, without spinning, before the oncoming
artic (US: semi) hit my car. Then a hiatus, and the clunk-clunk of a
big diesel idling inches from my nose.

I don't think that's what you meant, but that's what it was like for me.


Tim

"Tim Jackson" <tim@tim-jackson.co.uk> wrote in message
news:r6mdnU2XhLEVya7VnZ2dneKdnZydnZ2d@posted.plusn et...
> Eva wrote:
>
>> Today dawned. I felt like you feel when you get into a car accident, at
>> the moment before the other car smashes into you, when you know there is
>> no way out.
>>
>
> I still remember what that felt like back in 1978 when it happened to me.
> No fear, no panic, just 5 seconds of pure fixation on getting rid of as
> much momentum as I could, without spinning, before the oncoming artic (US:
> semi) hit my car. Then a hiatus, and the clunk-clunk of a big diesel
> idling inches from my nose.
>
> I don't think that's what you meant, but that's what it was like for me.
-------------
Wow, you really *are* an engineer, aren't you?!?!?!?!

Eva

"Tim Jackson" <tim@tim-jackson.co.uk> wrote in message
news:r6mdnU2XhLEVya7VnZ2dneKdnZydnZ2d@posted.plusn et...
> Eva wrote:
>
>> Today dawned. I felt like you feel when you get into a car accident, at
>> the moment before the other car smashes into you, when you know there is
>> no way out.
>>
>
> I still remember what that felt like back in 1978 when it happened to me.
> No fear, no panic, just 5 seconds of pure fixation on getting rid of as
> much momentum as I could, without spinning, before the oncoming artic (US:
> semi) hit my car. Then a hiatus, and the clunk-clunk of a big diesel
> idling inches from my nose.
>
> I don't think that's what you meant, but that's what it was like for me.

For me, in 1970, I thought, as I braked towards the mini-bus which had gone
through red lights, that because I was driving on a provisional licence with
no accompanying qualified driver, that I'd now have a criminal record and
Spouse wouldn't be able to get that job in New Zealand he'd applied for!

I didn't get a criminal record because of a technicality (the other driver
did, he was drunk) but Spouse didn't get the job either.

Funny, though, that it didn't occur to me that I might die ...

Mary
oh - the car, a big old heavy Rover, was a write-off!

"Eva" <EvaDStructionNO@NOverizon.net> wrote in message
news:vKGYj.16565$4K5.4674@trnddc03...
> Here's what life has been like for me for the past 2 weeks: one long panic
> attack, interrupted by occasional distractions such as work and laundry.
>
> I found a lump in my armpit.

Oh no ...

> This is on the right side, where I had the mastectomy and radiation (and
> subsequent plastic surgeries). I had had 15 lymph nodes removed, but it
> seemed to me that this felt like it must be an enlarged lymph node. I
> called my breast surgeon's office immediately but couldn't get an
> appointment until today.
>
> Today dawned. I felt like you feel when you get into a car accident, at
> the moment before the other car smashes into you, when you know there is
> no way out.
>
> I went to the doctor. After examining me, she sent me across the street
> to the hospital for a sonogram. I had to wait more than 2 hours for the
> sonogram because I was an "add-on" without a scheduled appointment.
> Fortunately I'd brought a snack, but I'd forgotten my water bottle. Then
> the sonogram itself took a while, because a student intern did it, and her
> supervisor then repeated it.
>
> Afterwards, I went back to the doctor's office, waited for the radiologist
> to call her..............GOOD NEWS! YOU HAVE A CYST IN YOUR ARMPIT! NOT
> DEATH THIS TIME! JUST A CYST!

Phew!
>
> Are you going to lance it? I stammered.
>
> No. Just leave it alone! Go home and have a drink, the doctor said.
>
> But I went shopping instead. Nothing crazy. I had a department store
> gift card I'd never gotten around to using.
>
> So that's what life has been like for me. I feel like telling the angel
> of death to stop *hovering* already. He's really pissing me off.

Of course, Eva, you could have assumed it was benign and saved yourself the
worry until you were proved wrong ... There's no point in worrying about
something which might not happen.

On the other hand, death is 100% certain at some time ... :-)

I'm pleased you're not dead yet though!

Mary

Eva,
did you have that stiff drink ?
you deserve it my dear !!
take care
kathleen
"Mary Fisher" <mary.fisher@zetnet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:4833e40c$0$770$4c56ba96@master.news.zetnet.ne t...
>
> "Eva" <EvaDStructionNO@NOverizon.net> wrote in message
> news:vKGYj.16565$4K5.4674@trnddc03...
>> Here's what life has been like for me for the past 2 weeks: one long
>> panic attack, interrupted by occasional distractions such as work and
>> laundry.
>>
>> I found a lump in my armpit.
>
> Oh no ...
>
>> This is on the right side, where I had the mastectomy and radiation (and
>> subsequent plastic surgeries). I had had 15 lymph nodes removed, but it
>> seemed to me that this felt like it must be an enlarged lymph node. I
>> called my breast surgeon's office immediately but couldn't get an
>> appointment until today.
>>
>> Today dawned. I felt like you feel when you get into a car accident, at
>> the moment before the other car smashes into you, when you know there is
>> no way out.
>>
>> I went to the doctor. After examining me, she sent me across the street
>> to the hospital for a sonogram. I had to wait more than 2 hours for the
>> sonogram because I was an "add-on" without a scheduled appointment.
>> Fortunately I'd brought a snack, but I'd forgotten my water bottle. Then
>> the sonogram itself took a while, because a student intern did it, and
>> her supervisor then repeated it.
>>
>> Afterwards, I went back to the doctor's office, waited for the
>> radiologist to call her..............GOOD NEWS! YOU HAVE A CYST IN YOUR
>> ARMPIT! NOT DEATH THIS TIME! JUST A CYST!
>
> Phew!
>>
>> Are you going to lance it? I stammered.
>>
>> No. Just leave it alone! Go home and have a drink, the doctor said.
>>
>> But I went shopping instead. Nothing crazy. I had a department store
>> gift card I'd never gotten around to using.
>>
>> So that's what life has been like for me. I feel like telling the angel
>> of death to stop *hovering* already. He's really pissing me off.
>
> Of course, Eva, you could have assumed it was benign and saved yourself
> the worry until you were proved wrong ... There's no point in worrying
> about something which might not happen.
>
> On the other hand, death is 100% certain at some time ... :-)
>
> I'm pleased you're not dead yet though!
>
> Mary
>

"didlems" <danceswithclay@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:HgVYj.28598$U61.2140@newsfe12.ams2...
>
> Eva,
> did you have that stiff drink ?
> you deserve it my dear !!
> take care
> kathleen

Might as well all have one - we all deserve it :-)

Mary