incontinence after surgery

Hello Everyone,

We are three weeks away from surgery. We are doing our best to enjoy
the time but it seems we cannot get through a day without the pending
surgery and cancer diagnosis being our companion....we are taking a
quick trip and Paul is taking off the week and a half off prior to
surgery. His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.
His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
trash etc...I just wanted feedback from those of you that have already
been through this. Do you have any helpful hints or things you learned
along the way. Paul is having some anxiety and watch a program
regarding the Davinci. His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
ready access to his patient. I think with any surgery the fear of now
waking up is always present. He has a hard time also with all the
people from his work knowing about his cancer. His boss took it upon
himself to tell many people. I told Paul if he wanted to make a stink
I think his boss probably violated HIPPA in one way or another. HIs
boss did not do it to be cruel but cannot keep anything to himself.
The worst part is (as Paul has been told) his boss just announced to
several people on a conference call and to people alone..."Paul has
cancer" and then did not explain any thing. A couple of the ladies
that work for my husband began to cry and get upset. So Paul had to
stand up in front of all of the people who work for him and tell of his
cancer. People in other parts of the country emailed him too..His boss
again. I think it is fine folks knowing but I think it should have
been up to Paul to choose when and who to tell. After reading many
post here we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one. As we
get closer any advice you can share is greatly appreciated. We are
staying positive..as much as possible and trying to talk a lot about
what we know will be ont he other side.

Thanks and have a great day!

Lisa

from my own experience: incontinence is not a worry. For me the problem
exists with ED. Almost 9 months after surgery and my friend Willie is still
sleeping. Best luck Colophony
"Paul & Lisa" <elizabethbodley@sbcglobal.net> ha scritto nel messaggio
news:1161000346.828365.52350@b28g2000cwb.googlegro ups.com...
> Hello Everyone,
>
> We are three weeks away from surgery. We are doing our best to enjoy
> the time but it seems we cannot get through a day without the pending
> surgery and cancer diagnosis being our companion....we are taking a
> quick trip and Paul is taking off the week and a half off prior to
> surgery. His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.
> His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
> Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
> trash etc...I just wanted feedback from those of you that have already
> been through this. Do you have any helpful hints or things you learned
> along the way. Paul is having some anxiety and watch a program
> regarding the Davinci. His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
> ready access to his patient. I think with any surgery the fear of now
> waking up is always present. He has a hard time also with all the
> people from his work knowing about his cancer. His boss took it upon
> himself to tell many people. I told Paul if he wanted to make a stink
> I think his boss probably violated HIPPA in one way or another. HIs
> boss did not do it to be cruel but cannot keep anything to himself.
> The worst part is (as Paul has been told) his boss just announced to
> several people on a conference call and to people alone..."Paul has
> cancer" and then did not explain any thing. A couple of the ladies
> that work for my husband began to cry and get upset. So Paul had to
> stand up in front of all of the people who work for him and tell of his
> cancer. People in other parts of the country emailed him too..His boss
> again. I think it is fine folks knowing but I think it should have
> been up to Paul to choose when and who to tell. After reading many
> post here we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
> the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
> here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one. As we
> get closer any advice you can share is greatly appreciated. We are
> staying positive..as much as possible and trying to talk a lot about
> what we know will be ont he other side.
>
> Thanks and have a great day!
>
> Lisa
>

Hi Lisa,

My husband is almost four weeks post-robotic surgery and he has had no
incontinence at all. He started wearing a pad the day the catheter came out
.... on day nine post-op ... but never needed them. He hasn't had one single
drop of urine leakage. We realize this is almost unheard of and we're
feeling very lucky and very blessed.

When we found out my husband had prostate cancer in June we told everyone we
knew so we would have an awesome support group. It has been wonderful!! I
certainly realize everyone is different and this is obviously a very private
time for you and your husband, but let people make a fuss and let them send
all their good thoughts your way.

My hubby worked from home in our recliner. He loved it!!! He was totally
wireless and was able to communicate via computer/cell phone/pager and he
started this the day after he got home from the hospital. He said it helped
him feel like he was still in the loop and not actually recovering. The
first three or four days he didn't work long -- an hour here, an hour
there -- but he sure did work. And if he wasn't working, he was walking.
He started at 1/2 mile the day after he got home from the hospital and by
the end of a week he was up to three miles per day.

We're not sure about ED yet as we're under instructions from the surgeon to
NOT try anything for eight weeks. He had to remove 30% of the nerves on the
right side but he rebuilt them so we're hoping everything will be okay. We
shall see.

Good luck, and I hope everything goes as well for your husband as it has for
mine.

Jean

"Jean" <jeand@houston.rr.com> wrote in message
news:gpMYg.105679$5o5.13093@tornado.texas.rr.com.. .
> Hi Lisa,
>
>>
> We're not sure about ED yet as we're under instructions from the surgeon
> to NOT try anything for eight weeks. > Jean
>


This is a new one to me Jean? I wonder why the long wait? I was active
the day after the cath came out, and I credit this activity as one of the
reasons for my continued success 4 years later.


--
JK Sinrod
www.SinrodStudios.com
www.MyConeyIslandMemories.com

Paul & Lisa wrote:
> Hello Everyone,
>
> We are three weeks away from surgery. We are doing our best to enjoy
> the time but it seems we cannot get through a day without the pending
> surgery and cancer diagnosis being our companion....we are taking a
> quick trip and Paul is taking off the week and a half off prior to
> surgery. His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.
> His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
> Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
> trash etc...I just wanted feedback from those of you that have already
> been through this.

I used Depends only for about a month, and I didn't have to worry about
disposting of them at work because I was retired. But I definitely
remember odor not being a problem. He can put them in a sealed plastic
bag before dumping them in trash, and that should deal with that
problem. I do remember that the pads held a surprising amount of fluid,
but of course how often he has to change them will depend on how much
fluid he has to get rid of. Avoiding coffee or anything else which
encourages urination might be a good idea. But he definitely shouldn't
avoid adequate fluids since that can create serious problems. Also,
even if he leaks quite a lot, he may have some control over urination
and if he tries regularly to empty his bladder, that may help.


Do you have any helpful hints or things you learned
> along the way. Paul is having some anxiety and watch a program
> regarding the Davinci. His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
> ready access to his patient. I think with any surgery the fear of now
> waking up is always present. He has a hard time also with all the
> people from his work knowing about his cancer. His boss took it upon
> himself to tell many people. I told Paul if he wanted to make a stink
> I think his boss probably violated HIPPA in one way or another. HIs
> boss did not do it to be cruel but cannot keep anything to himself.
> The worst part is (as Paul has been told) his boss just announced to
> several people on a conference call and to people alone..."Paul has
> cancer" and then did not explain any thing. A couple of the ladies
> that work for my husband began to cry and get upset. So Paul had to
> stand up in front of all of the people who work for him and tell of his
> cancer. People in other parts of the country emailed him too..His boss
> again. I think it is fine folks knowing but I think it should have
> been up to Paul to choose when and who to tell. After reading many
> post here we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
> the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
> here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one. As we
> get closer any advice you can share is greatly appreciated. We are
> staying positive..as much as possible and trying to talk a lot about
> what we know will be ont he other side.
>
> Thanks and have a great day!
>
> Lisa
>

glassman wrote:
>
> This is a new one to me Jean? I wonder why the long wait? I was active
> the day after the cath came out, and I credit this activity as one of the
> reasons for my continued success 4 years later.
>


So, I gather by what you have stated that ED has not been a major
problem for you? I find this encouraging but also am aware that
everyone is differnet. So, did you Dr. tell you to become acitve as
soon as you could??? Of course, I will check with my own Dr. but
curious about your experience.

Lisa

glassman wrote:
> "Jean" <jeand@houston.rr.com> wrote in message
> news:gpMYg.105679$5o5.13093@tornado.texas.rr.com.. .
>
>>Hi Lisa,
>>
>>
>>We're not sure about ED yet as we're under instructions from the surgeon
>>to NOT try anything for eight weeks. > Jean
>>
>
>
>
> This is a new one to me Jean? I wonder why the long wait? I was active
> the day after the cath came out, and I credit this activity as one of the
> reasons for my continued success 4 years later.

I think the restriction on sex after surgery has to do with wanting to
be sure all the sutures, internal and external, have healed. This may
be less a problem with LRP than with RRP, but many surgeons may want to
be safe rather than sorry.

>
>

Dear Paul & Lisa,

I'm now 14 months post-RRP and had quite a bit of incontinence during much
of that time. I'm better now. I found, however, that the incontinence was
quite manageable and not a big quality-of-life issue. Plastic shopping bags
for disposal are quite helpful. Just tie the sack in a knot to eliminate
odor. Also, I shared my condition with all my family and some of my friends
and colleagues. I found I was a lot more comfortable not keeping my
condition a secret from people who matter to me. I would not have
appreciated someone else publicly announcing it, however!

I found that Depends did not hold much liquid, and so I did some Google
research about alternatives. What I found was that a number of European
briefs were reportedly more absorbent and better made. When I tried some, I
found they fit me better and leaked less. The ones I settled on were Abena
Abri-form X-plus brief which I ordered from KCK Medical (888 880-1967,
www.kckmedical.com), the U.S. distributor. They were a bit more expensive
with shipping, but lasted longer, fit better and leaked less. Those things
were important for me. I found information on other European briefs, like
Molicare, which may be just as good. After trying several store-variety
briefs, I tried these from KCK Medical and preferred them.

I also found that nobody noticed that I was wearing briefs. The Abena's are
a bit bulkier than the Depends, but were apparently not at all noticeable.
Nor did they make noise when I walked.

I did Kegels and used Detrol religiously for perhaps eleven months, but
could not tell that either made much difference. That, of course, is only my
personal experience. I have improved slowly and now mostly use pads, except
when I travel.

Michael

"Paul & Lisa" <elizabethbodley@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:1161000346.828365.52350@b28g2000cwb.googlegro ups.com...
> Hello Everyone,
>
> We are three weeks away from surgery. We are doing our best to enjoy
> the time but it seems we cannot get through a day without the pending
> surgery and cancer diagnosis being our companion....we are taking a
> quick trip and Paul is taking off the week and a half off prior to
> surgery. His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.
> His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
> Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
> trash etc...I just wanted feedback from those of you that have already
> been through this. Do you have any helpful hints or things you learned
> along the way. Paul is having some anxiety and watch a program
> regarding the Davinci. His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
> ready access to his patient. I think with any surgery the fear of now
> waking up is always present. He has a hard time also with all the
> people from his work knowing about his cancer. His boss took it upon
> himself to tell many people. I told Paul if he wanted to make a stink
> I think his boss probably violated HIPPA in one way or another. HIs
> boss did not do it to be cruel but cannot keep anything to himself.
> The worst part is (as Paul has been told) his boss just announced to
> several people on a conference call and to people alone..."Paul has
> cancer" and then did not explain any thing. A couple of the ladies
> that work for my husband began to cry and get upset. So Paul had to
> stand up in front of all of the people who work for him and tell of his
> cancer. People in other parts of the country emailed him too..His boss
> again. I think it is fine folks knowing but I think it should have
> been up to Paul to choose when and who to tell. After reading many
> post here we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
> the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
> here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one. As we
> get closer any advice you can share is greatly appreciated. We are
> staying positive..as much as possible and trying to talk a lot about
> what we know will be ont he other side.
>
> Thanks and have a great day!
>
> Lisa
>

"Paul & Lisa" <elizabethbodley@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:1161012008.820892.3230@f16g2000cwb.googlegrou ps.com...
>
> glassman wrote:
>>
>> This is a new one to me Jean? I wonder why the long wait? I was active
>> the day after the cath came out, and I credit this activity as one of the
>> reasons for my continued success 4 years later.
>>
>
>
> So, I gather by what you have stated that ED has not been a major
> problem for you? I find this encouraging but also am aware that
> everyone is differnet. So, did you Dr. tell you to become acitve as
> soon as you could??? Of course, I will check with my own Dr. but
> curious about your experience.
>
> Lisa
>

No I certainly did have problems with ED as have all that I've ever
spoken with, and still do ... but not nearly as bad as some that post here.
It took me months of "practice" to get it to come around, and I saw slow but
steady improvement for 3 years. Yes my doc said to go home and have sex
right after he removed the cath. I think he was joking, knowing there was no
chance it was going to work. You do know that limp orgasms are perfectly
wonderful, and I credit all this activity with helping it wake up.


--
JK Sinrod
www.SinrodStudios.com
www.MyConeyIslandMemories.com

"Paul & Lisa" <elizabethbodley@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:1161000346.828365.52350@b28g2000cwb.googlegro ups.com...

> His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.

This is generally the case. The top three are usually life, incontinence
and ED -- and usually not in that order.

> His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
> Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
> trash etc...I just wanted feedback from those of you that have already
> been through this.

I had open surgery and wore Depends up to the day before I went back to
work. After that, it was a thick pad that lasted me 8 hours. I suspect
that by the time he goes back to work, his Depends will last the full 8.
However, I have had to dispose of a few pads in the past. I just shoved
them down into the garbage can in the john.


> regarding the Davinci. His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
> ready access to his patient. I think with any surgery the fear of now
> waking up is always present.

I cannot imagine that the anesthisiologist cannot access the patient. It's
a computer operated operation, but he is not locked away in total isolation.

> He has a hard time also with all the
> people from his work knowing about his cancer. His boss took it upon
> himself to tell many people.

From your perspective now, I'm sure it's a problem for you. I think you
will find he did you a favor. It is incredibly difficult to tell people you
have cancer. I still hate telling someone who didn't know. I am always
uncomfortable about their discomfort. This way, they know, they worry and
in a year, they'll forget. No stress in hiding it. No stress in
remembering who knows and who doesn't.

> After reading many
> post here we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
> the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
> here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one.

Absolutely my greatest purchase. I was in a 12-year-old Lazy Boy at the
time. Gave it to my wife and bought a new one. Man, was it nice!! Still
is.


--
PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46
Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c
RRP 12/15/2000 G7 (3+4), T3cN0M0 Neg margins
PSA .1 .1 .1 .27 .37 .75
EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47
PSA .34 .22 .15 .21 .32
Lupron 07/03 (1 mo) 8/03 (4 mo), 12/03, 4/04, 09/04, 01/05, 5/05, 10/05,
2/06, 6/06
PSA .07 .05 .06 .09 .08 .132 .145
Casodex added daily 07/06
Non Illegitimi Carborundum

Oh, so you give the 12 yo LazyBoy to your wife? You should have bought two
new ones - one for her and one for you. Ever hear of the LazyBoy 2 for 1
sale?
Bev (sadly shaking her head)

"Steve Kramer" <skramer@cinci.rr.com> wrote in message
news:_SVYg.14215$OE1.7773@tornado.ohiordc.rr.com.. .
>
> "Paul & Lisa" <elizabethbodley@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> news:1161000346.828365.52350@b28g2000cwb.googlegro ups.com...
>
> > His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.
>
> This is generally the case. The top three are usually life, incontinence
> and ED -- and usually not in that order.
>
> > His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
> > Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
> > trash etc...I just wanted feedback from those of you that have already
> > been through this.
>
> I had open surgery and wore Depends up to the day before I went back to
> work. After that, it was a thick pad that lasted me 8 hours. I suspect
> that by the time he goes back to work, his Depends will last the full 8.
> However, I have had to dispose of a few pads in the past. I just shoved
> them down into the garbage can in the john.
>
>
> > regarding the Davinci. His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
> > ready access to his patient. I think with any surgery the fear of now
> > waking up is always present.
>
> I cannot imagine that the anesthisiologist cannot access the patient.
It's
> a computer operated operation, but he is not locked away in total
isolation.
>
> > He has a hard time also with all the
> > people from his work knowing about his cancer. His boss took it upon
> > himself to tell many people.
>
> From your perspective now, I'm sure it's a problem for you. I think you
> will find he did you a favor. It is incredibly difficult to tell people
you
> have cancer. I still hate telling someone who didn't know. I am always
> uncomfortable about their discomfort. This way, they know, they worry and
> in a year, they'll forget. No stress in hiding it. No stress in
> remembering who knows and who doesn't.
>
> > After reading many
> > post here we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
> > the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
> > here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one.
>
> Absolutely my greatest purchase. I was in a 12-year-old Lazy Boy at the
> time. Gave it to my wife and bought a new one. Man, was it nice!! Still
> is.
>
>
> --
> PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46
> Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c
> RRP 12/15/2000 G7 (3+4), T3cN0M0 Neg margins
> PSA .1 .1 .1 .27 .37 .75
> EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47
> PSA .34 .22 .15 .21 .32
> Lupron 07/03 (1 mo) 8/03 (4 mo), 12/03, 4/04, 09/04, 01/05, 5/05, 10/05,
> 2/06, 6/06
> PSA .07 .05 .06 .09 .08 .132 .145
> Casodex added daily 07/06
> Non Illegitimi Carborundum
>
>

Lisa,
Women for years have been disposing of pads without a problem. Tell him to
keep a brown paper bag in his pocket and stuff the pants in the bag and drop
it in the trash. Or place a fresh pair of pants in a brown bag and then he
can take the fresh one to the bathroom in the same bag in which he will
dispose of the used one. Pads come with their own little plastic wrapper or
he can simply wrap the pad in toilet paper and then trash it. No one will
know what he dropped in the bathroom trash. I don't think people actually
LOOK in the trash can!

OMG!!! I think his boss violated just about every possible rule on the job!
Paul could probably take his boss and the company to court and then retire.

My hubby didn't tell anyone at work. I told on him to a co-worker. She
served as my guardian angel for him the whole time. He did wind up telling
his boss, a female, that he might be late getting to work for a few weeks.
His boss looked at him and asked him directly if he was undergoing radiation
treatments for cancer. He just about fell out of his chair. Turns out her
dad had just finished radiation treatment for PC. So they were the only two
people who knew and to some extent I suspect that my friend may have told
the boss because the gals are buddies. Now, my husband works in a different
department, in a different building, and at some point he did mention to his
new boss that he'd been treated for cancer but apparently it was a very
casual conversation.

Do a Google search on this newsgroup and find Laurel (Juniper) she's got a
great prostate cancer poster you can download that she created. Email her!
Have Paul take it to work and stick it up in the break room! I've lost her
email addy (when I crashed my email software a couple of weeks ago - don't
ask, I did it to myself!) or I'd give it to you. Paul can take this
situation and turn it into something positive even if it means that one
co-worker or the spouse of the co-worker gets a PSA test!

The anesthesiologist is going to be standing right there by Paul's head the
entire time! The job of the anesthesiologist is to "breathe" for him while
he "out". The surgeon might be in some little booth off to the side but not
the anesthesiologist. That's who will keep Paul alive through the whole
procedure!

Don't forget the list that Joe posts about once a month. It's filled with
all sorts of wonderful tips and ideas to help after surgery.

Paul is going to do just fine because he's got the one thing that will help
the most - a loving supportive wife. As hard as the road back is going to
be - he's got you right there with him the entire way! And yes, some guys
are totally continent when the cath is removed. And a few of the guys never
have problems with erections. So cross your fingers and hope for the best -
you'll face whatever happens together.
Bev





"Paul & Lisa" <elizabethbodley@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:1161000346.828365.52350@b28g2000cwb.googlegro ups.com...
> Hello Everyone,
>
> We are three weeks away from surgery. We are doing our best to enjoy
> the time but it seems we cannot get through a day without the pending
> surgery and cancer diagnosis being our companion....we are taking a
> quick trip and Paul is taking off the week and a half off prior to
> surgery. His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.
> His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
> Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
> trash etc...I just wanted feedback from those of you that have already
> been through this. Do you have any helpful hints or things you learned
> along the way. Paul is having some anxiety and watch a program
> regarding the Davinci. His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
> ready access to his patient. I think with any surgery the fear of now
> waking up is always present. He has a hard time also with all the
> people from his work knowing about his cancer. His boss took it upon
> himself to tell many people. I told Paul if he wanted to make a stink
> I think his boss probably violated HIPPA in one way or another. HIs
> boss did not do it to be cruel but cannot keep anything to himself.
> The worst part is (as Paul has been told) his boss just announced to
> several people on a conference call and to people alone..."Paul has
> cancer" and then did not explain any thing. A couple of the ladies
> that work for my husband began to cry and get upset. So Paul had to
> stand up in front of all of the people who work for him and tell of his
> cancer. People in other parts of the country emailed him too..His boss
> again. I think it is fine folks knowing but I think it should have
> been up to Paul to choose when and who to tell. After reading many
> post here we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
> the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
> here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one. As we
> get closer any advice you can share is greatly appreciated. We are
> staying positive..as much as possible and trying to talk a lot about
> what we know will be ont he other side.
>
> Thanks and have a great day!
>
> Lisa
>

Paul & Lisa wrote:

>
> His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.

Those are out of your hands until after the surgery, so try to stop
worrying about them. Post-op ya play the cards as dealt, with many options.

> His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
> Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
> trash etc.

A dab of cologne under his nose may help, if he notices the smell at
all. Or he could just change and leave the room quickly. If anyone ELSE
notices the smell, GUESS WHOSE PROBLEM THAT IS. ;-) But considering the
variety of smells in bathrooms, I doubt anyone's going to notice. If
hordes of people run screaming out of the men's room, think "zip-lock
plastic bags".

I was retired before getting my PC, but I still went anywhere I wanted.
The only concession I made after feeling better and getting the catheter
out was not flying across the country on an optional trip 3-4 weeks
post-op. Certainly office life will be easier after he switches from
diapers to pads -- pads are simple to conceal and to change anywhere --
but even big, full diapers are manageable with some preparation such as
plastic bags and the right attitude (e.g., "I've got cancer; get over it.")

> His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
> ready access to his patient.

Please explain. The gas-passer generally RULES in an OR.

> I think with any surgery the fear of not
> waking up is always present.

The chances of that run about one in 250,000 these days, and there's not
a thing you can do about it.

> He has a hard time also with all the
> people from his work knowing about his cancer.

The cat's out of the bag now, and ain't going back in. Get over it and
save your energy for things you CAN change.

> His boss took it upon
> himself to tell many people. I told Paul if he wanted to make a stink
> I think his boss probably violated HIPPA in one way or another. HIs
> boss did not do it to be cruel but cannot keep anything to himself.

The boss is an idiot, a jerk, and probably a criminal. You can sue,
switch jobs, blackmail him, and/or fuhgheddaboutit; your call. I'd never
trust him with ANYTHING again, and I'd get the courts to get in his face
and make it crystal clear what will happen next time he breaks privacy
laws, and/or I'd find a better boss.

> A couple of the ladies
> that work for my husband began to cry and get upset.

Crybabies? . . . or just two employees who think the world of your
husband? The first isn't his problem, the latter is a compliment.


> So Paul had to
> stand up in front of all of the people who work for him and tell of his
> cancer.

Beats having people wonder why he acts so strangely in the bathroom and
occasionally smells like the cat's box.

> we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
> the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
> here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one.

I'd guess getting out of a bed is far easier than getting out of a
recliner after abs surgery. The recliner requires doing a sit-up with
sore abs; a bed lets him choose which muscles he wants to use by
choosing whether to face upwards, downwards, or sideways when getting in
or out of bed. He'll figure it all out, and it's no big deal; if it
hurts too much, that's what the little pills are for. He'll be
self-reliant by the time he gets home and off the pills within days.

You've done all you can for now, so enjoy the trip and the 10 days off.
With any luck, he'll have many more surgeries in his lifespan; an RP --
even the open variety -- and its recovery are not a big deal as
surgeries go, from the patient's perspective. The real issue is the SEs,
about which time will tell and worrying will not help.

I.P.

On Tue, 17 Oct 2006 00:56:26 GMT, "Steve Kramer"
<skramer@cinci.rr.com> wrote:


It is incredibly difficult to tell people you
>have cancer. I still hate telling someone who didn't know. I am always
>uncomfortable about their discomfort. This way, they know, they worry and
>in a year, they'll forget. No stress in hiding it. No stress in
>remembering who knows and who doesn't.


This varies from person to person. I had and still have no problem at
all telling people, although it was difficult telling my parents.

On Tue, 17 Oct 2006 03:02:28 GMT, "Beverley"
<beverly.brown28@verizon.net> wrote:


>The anesthesiologist is going to be standing right there by Paul's head the
>entire time! The job of the anesthesiologist is to "breathe" for him while
>he "out". The surgeon might be in some little booth off to the side but not
>the anesthesiologist. That's who will keep Paul alive through the whole
>procedure!


Not always the case. They may have a nurse-anesthetist who does, and
in that case, the MD floats from patient to patient.

I was told this directly by my anesthesiologist right before my
robotic.

Paul & Lisa wrote:
> Hello Everyone,
>
> We are three weeks away from surgery. We are doing our best to enjoy
> the time but it seems we cannot get through a day without the pending
> surgery and cancer diagnosis being our companion....we are taking a
> quick trip and Paul is taking off the week and a half off prior to
> surgery. His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.
> His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
> Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
> trash etc...I just wanted feedback from those of you that have already
> been through this. Do you have any helpful hints or things you learned
> along the way. Paul is having some anxiety and watch a program
> regarding the Davinci. His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
> ready access to his patient. I think with any surgery the fear of now
> waking up is always present. He has a hard time also with all the
> people from his work knowing about his cancer. His boss took it upon
> himself to tell many people. I told Paul if he wanted to make a stink
> I think his boss probably violated HIPPA in one way or another. HIs
> boss did not do it to be cruel but cannot keep anything to himself.
> The worst part is (as Paul has been told) his boss just announced to
> several people on a conference call and to people alone..."Paul has
> cancer" and then did not explain any thing. A couple of the ladies
> that work for my husband began to cry and get upset. So Paul had to
> stand up in front of all of the people who work for him and tell of his
> cancer. People in other parts of the country emailed him too..His boss
> again. I think it is fine folks knowing but I think it should have
> been up to Paul to choose when and who to tell. After reading many
> post here we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
> the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
> here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one. As we
> get closer any advice you can share is greatly appreciated. We are
> staying positive..as much as possible and trying to talk a lot about
> what we know will be ont he other side.
>
> Thanks and have a great day!
>
> Lisa

Paul & Lisa wrote:
> Hello Everyone,
>
> We are three weeks away from surgery. We are doing our best to enjoy
> the time but it seems we cannot get through a day without the pending
> surgery and cancer diagnosis being our companion....we are taking a
> quick trip and Paul is taking off the week and a half off prior to
> surgery. His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.
> His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
> Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
> trash etc...I just wanted feedback from those of you that have already
> been through this. Do you have any helpful hints or things you learned
> along the way. Paul is having some anxiety and watch a program
> regarding the Davinci. His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
> ready access to his patient. I think with any surgery the fear of now
> waking up is always present. He has a hard time also with all the
> people from his work knowing about his cancer. His boss took it upon
> himself to tell many people. I told Paul if he wanted to make a stink
> I think his boss probably violated HIPPA in one way or another. HIs
> boss did not do it to be cruel but cannot keep anything to himself.
> The worst part is (as Paul has been told) his boss just announced to
> several people on a conference call and to people alone..."Paul has
> cancer" and then did not explain any thing. A couple of the ladies
> that work for my husband began to cry and get upset. So Paul had to
> stand up in front of all of the people who work for him and tell of his
> cancer. People in other parts of the country emailed him too..His boss
> again. I think it is fine folks knowing but I think it should have
> been up to Paul to choose when and who to tell. After reading many
> post here we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
> the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
> here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one. As we
> get closer any advice you can share is greatly appreciated. We are
> staying positive..as much as possible and trying to talk a lot about
> what we know will be ont he other side.
>
> Thanks and have a great day!
>
> Lisa

RML wrote:
> On Tue, 17 Oct 2006 00:56:26 GMT, "Steve Kramer"
> <skramer@cinci.rr.com> wrote:
>
>
> It is incredibly difficult to tell people you
>> have cancer. I still hate telling someone who didn't know. I am always
>> uncomfortable about their discomfort. This way, they know, they worry and
>> in a year, they'll forget. No stress in hiding it. No stress in
>> remembering who knows and who doesn't.
>
>
> This varies from person to person. I had and still have no problem at
> all telling people.
>

Ditto. I mention it anytime it's pertinent to anyone, and even have one
speech already planned: "Just wait 'til you've had YOUR prostate and
half your colon removed due to cancer, Officer, and then tell me getting
to a bathroom in a hurry isn't a legitimate emergency". And when I
comment that some injury or ailment hurts more than a prostatectomy, I
can back it up.

I.P.

dick wrote:
> Paul & Lisa wrote:
> > Hello Everyone,
> >
> > We are three weeks away from surgery. We are doing our best to enjoy
> > the time but it seems we cannot get through a day without the pending
> > surgery and cancer diagnosis being our companion....we are taking a
> > quick trip and Paul is taking off the week and a half off prior to
> > surgery. His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.
> > His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
> > Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
> > trash etc...I just wanted feedback from those of you that have already
> > been through this. Do you have any helpful hints or things you learned
> > along the way. Paul is having some anxiety and watch a program
> > regarding the Davinci. His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
> > ready access to his patient. I think with any surgery the fear of now
> > waking up is always present. He has a hard time also with all the
> > people from his work knowing about his cancer. His boss took it upon
> > himself to tell many people. I told Paul if he wanted to make a stink
> > I think his boss probably violated HIPPA in one way or another. HIs
> > boss did not do it to be cruel but cannot keep anything to himself.
> > The worst part is (as Paul has been told) his boss just announced to
> > several people on a conference call and to people alone..."Paul has
> > cancer" and then did not explain any thing. A couple of the ladies
> > that work for my husband began to cry and get upset. So Paul had to
> > stand up in front of all of the people who work for him and tell of his
> > cancer. People in other parts of the country emailed him too..His boss
> > again. I think it is fine folks knowing but I think it should have
> > been up to Paul to choose when and who to tell. After reading many
> > post here we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
> > the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
> > here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one. As we
> > get closer any advice you can share is greatly appreciated. We are
> > staying positive..as much as possible and trying to talk a lot about
> > what we know will be ont he other side.
> >
> > Thanks and have a great day!
> >
> > Lisa

I had surgery in April of 2006, Surgery was done at Sparrow Hospital in
Lansing Mi. The Dr. used the Davinci. No pain what ever, surgery was in
the morning at 8 am, The Dr. came in the next morning my stomach was
hard and I hadn't had a bm, so he let me stay one more day. I used pads
and was using 3 to 5 per day. Dr. put me on Datrol and the problem went
away. Once in awhile if I sneeze there will be a little leakage.
The ED is still a problem trying different methods to reverse the
problem, I'm 68 years old.
On the bright side the cancer is gone, have had two blood test and the
PSA is 0.
Good luck

Hi Lisa and Paul.

Don't sweat the fact that people at work know. Be thankful, as I am
sure most of them are, that your PC was caught early. I told my direct
employees, and explained very clearly to them that the probability of a
positive outcome was very high.
It was, and I got great support from those around me at work, home and
socially..

As you will recall, my surgery was Late June, robotic, and uneventful.
With regards to incontinence, the depends pants worked for me, and they
hold quite a bit of fluid, without odour. I graduated from the depends
pants to pads after about 8 weeks.. economics and fluids permitting.
Tip.. the depends guards are a pain in the ass (literally), but if you
wear a jock strap to hold them in position, they are more comfortable,
and have better leakage protection.. I think the incontinence solution
is Kegels, and being in shape before the surgery..

The recliner is a great idea, go wireless and keep in touch..
There have been many tips on line, but one I have not seen, is how to
get out of bed easily in the early stages. Paul will be up and around
next day, but will be a little sore, especially when trying to get out
of bed.. easiest way I found was simply to roll on side with knees up
as though in sitting position, grab behind knee with upper hand, and
let the weight of the legs dropping pull your upper body up.. no
stress on stomach muscles.. Practice before surgery..

I carried a spare depends or pad with me in a small camera pouch..
handy and inconspicuous.. beleive me, people don't notice or care about
those things, they are thankful you are back to work, healthy. The only
time Paul will notice any odour is when he pulls down the depends or
guards to have a wiz, warm moist air rises given the opportunity, but
the odour is conatined by the tight fit of the depends.. I was quite
amazed myself.

Stay positive, and it will all be behind you before you know it.. 16
weeks post op and I can't think of anything to complain about, and ED
will give you a chance to explore alternatives that only your
imagination can limit.

Grateful and Thankful to All

Cliff

Paul & Lisa wrote:
> Hello Everyone,
>
> We are three weeks away from surgery. We are doing our best to enjoy
> the time but it seems we cannot get through a day without the pending
> surgery and cancer diagnosis being our companion....we are taking a
> quick trip and Paul is taking off the week and a half off prior to
> surgery. His biggest concerns as you know are incontinence and Ed.
> His worry about the first is how is he going to get by at work with the
> Depends....disposing of them and he is worried about the smell in the
> trash etc...I just wanted feedback from those of you that have already
> been through this. Do you have any helpful hints or things you learned
> along the way. Paul is having some anxiety and watch a program
> regarding the Davinci. His concern is the Anestigologist does not have
> ready access to his patient. I think with any surgery the fear of now
> waking up is always present. He has a hard time also with all the
> people from his work knowing about his cancer. His boss took it upon
> himself to tell many people. I told Paul if he wanted to make a stink
> I think his boss probably violated HIPPA in one way or another. HIs
> boss did not do it to be cruel but cannot keep anything to himself.
> The worst part is (as Paul has been told) his boss just announced to
> several people on a conference call and to people alone..."Paul has
> cancer" and then did not explain any thing. A couple of the ladies
> that work for my husband began to cry and get upset. So Paul had to
> stand up in front of all of the people who work for him and tell of his
> cancer. People in other parts of the country emailed him too..His boss
> again. I think it is fine folks knowing but I think it should have
> been up to Paul to choose when and who to tell. After reading many
> post here we bought a new reclyner for Paul's recovery time. We love
> the chair! We have not had a reclyner in some years but many had said
> here it helped them after surgery to rest and even sleep in one. As we
> get closer any advice you can share is greatly appreciated. We are
> staying positive..as much as possible and trying to talk a lot about
> what we know will be ont he other side.
>
> Thanks and have a great day!
>
> Lisa

Hi Lisa,

I'll let the other folks who are more expert than I am comment on the
other topics...but as far as Depends at work, and disposing of them...

I used a product made by Hefty...called...

Handy-Saks

They are in the grocery store in the 'garbage bag' aisle.

There are 40 bags in a small pack... (4 packs of 10)

They unfold into a plastic bag with handles the size of a grocery store
bag.

You can tie up the used Depends and toss it in the trash can.

No smell, no problem.

I didn't have to use them long and have many left over.

The pack of 10 fit easily in a pocket...but a FEW...fit even easier.

Paul will have a small bag with a Depends or 2 in it...and they can be
disposed of easily...after changing in a bathroom stall.

These will work great.

I'll include a picture of the package.

Best wishes,

Ron B.

Chicago

"Beverley" <beverly.brown28@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:f%WYg.1751$3C6.1211@trnddc04...
> Oh, so you give the 12 yo LazyBoy to your wife? You should have bought two
> new ones - one for her and one for you. Ever hear of the LazyBoy 2 for 1
> sale?
> Bev (sadly shaking her head)


I should have given it to Goodwill. I ended up having to buy her a new one
a year later.




--
PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46
Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c
RRP 12/15/2000 G7 (3+4), T3cN0M0 Neg margins
PSA .1 .1 .1 .27 .37 .75
EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47
PSA .34 .22 .15 .21 .32
Lupron 07/03 (1 mo) 8/03 (4 mo), 12/03, 4/04, 09/04, 01/05, 5/05, 10/05,
2/06, 6/06
PSA .07 .05 .06 .09 .08 .132 .145
Casodex added daily 07/06
Non Illegitimi Carborundum

Paul & Lisa wrote:
> Hello Everyone,


Thank you everyone for all of your wonderful feedback. This is such a
great place to be able to come to and get first hand experience of
those of you who have already gone through the surgery...Thank you,
Thank you. It really is a comfort.

Lisa