OTP: Your weekend humor

Area: FIDONEWS
Msg#: 4957
Date: 07-30-07 05:39
From: Fidonews Robot
To: All
Subj: FidoNews 24:31 [04/07]
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CLEAN HUMOUR & JOKES
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Terror alert change
From Frank Vest



"In the face of recent terrorist activity you may be comforted to know
the BRITISH are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved".

Soon, however, security levels may have to be raised again to
"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit
Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody
Nuisance".

The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the great fire of London in 1666.

The FRENCH government also announced yesterday that it had raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". This latest rise was
precipitated by a fire that destroyed France's White Flag factory
effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

In addition to the British and the French, ITALY has increased its
alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military
Posturing". Two more levels remain "Ineffective Combat Operations" and
"Change Sides".

The GERMANS have also increased their alert status from "Disdainful
Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They too
have two higher levels "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

BELGIANS on the other hand are all on holiday as usual and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

Finally the SPANISH are very excited as their new submarines are ready
to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so that
the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish
navy."
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-!- Azure/NewsPrep 3.0
! Origin: Home of the Fidonews (2:2/2.0)

On January 28, Alan Meyer wrote:

> I suppose these are funny in a way, but they're not funny
> in a bigger way.

(ka-snip)

Huh? To whom is this addressed?

Regards,

Steve J

I suppose these are funny in a way, but they're not funny
in a bigger way. Ethnic humor, or rather anti-ethnic group
humor, just doesn't do it for me.

It would be more palatable if some of the anti-U.S. jokes that
must circulate around the world were also included.

I would make up some. It would be real easy to do. But
I know it would piss off a lot Americans. So too, I think
these jokes must piss off, and rightly so, a lot of Europeans
who may participate in this newsgroup.

Alan

"Steve Jordan" <mycroftscj1@cox.net> wrote in message
news:xEsnj.55611$1C4.34446@newsfe10.phx...
> On January 28, Alan Meyer wrote:
>
>> I suppose these are funny in a way, but they're not funny
>> in a bigger way.
> ...
> Huh? To whom is this addressed?

It's addressed to the Chief, who posted the joke.
I'm sure he meant no harm and wasn't intending any
disrespect to anyone. However if I were a Frenchman,
German, Italian, or Spaniard, and maybe a Brit, I might
bristle at the characterizations in the joke.

Alan

"Alan Meyer" <ameyer2@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:voKdnaS2A74gEAPanZ2dnUVZ_oKhnZ2d@comcast.com. ..
>
> "Steve Jordan" <mycroftscj1@cox.net> wrote in message
> news:xEsnj.55611$1C4.34446@newsfe10.phx...
>> On January 28, Alan Meyer wrote:
>>
>>> I suppose these are funny in a way, but they're not funny
>>> in a bigger way.
>> ...
>> Huh? To whom is this addressed?
>
> It's addressed to the Chief, who posted the joke.
> I'm sure he meant no harm and wasn't intending any
> disrespect to anyone. However if I were a Frenchman,
> German, Italian, or Spaniard, and maybe a Brit, I might
> bristle at the characterizations in the joke.

I agree. We agreed a long time ago that we would only make fun of
Nigerians.

"Steve Kramer" <skramer@cinci.rr.com> wrote in message
news:479ef4f9$0$30237$4c368faf@roadrunner.com...
> "Alan Meyer" <ameyer2@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:voKdnaS2A74gEAPanZ2dnUVZ_oKhnZ2d@comcast.com. ..
>>
>> "Steve Jordan" <mycroftscj1@cox.net> wrote in message
>> news:xEsnj.55611$1C4.34446@newsfe10.phx...
>>> On January 28, Alan Meyer wrote:
>>>
>>>> I suppose these are funny in a way, but they're not funny
>>>> in a bigger way.
>>> ...
>>> Huh? To whom is this addressed?
>>
>> It's addressed to the Chief, who posted the joke.
>> I'm sure he meant no harm and wasn't intending any
>> disrespect to anyone. However if I were a Frenchman,
>> German, Italian, or Spaniard, and maybe a Brit, I might
>> bristle at the characterizations in the joke.
>
> I agree. We agreed a long time ago that we would only make fun of
> Nigerians.

Shame on you Steve, that's beneath you. The people of Nigeria seem very
nice, especially those who regularly offer me substantial stacks of idle
cash. I am not sure what is wrong with Nigerian accountants, but they do
seem to have trouble keeping track of the original owners of the fortunes
that pile up all over that country.

But have you heard the one about the two guys from Andorra ....

Alex