Hi all
With apologies, may I make clear that this post is OT but I know a
number of kindly NGers are interested. My previous post "I Dun it!" 31
May explains the background.
Two weeks today, we came together. Here I am listening to bird song
again in the lovely garden we have a view of outside - with the song
in my heart giving the birds more than an even run for their money, or
corn. And that ain't an everyday experience as one gets to what the
French delicately call le 'Troisième Age. Hey! Be honest! I'm
quatrième.
But truly, I suppose when I realised I was first in love, when I
scored a great goal at my other love, football (don't ask about the
open-goals I missed) and I suppose, he said shyly (and who'll believe
that!) when I first enjoyed sex (..er..I think that's what it was
called). Moments of mind and body ascending in an other-world of peace
and delight. Lark Ascending. Mike Ascending.
Not the first day. The moment I brought Rosemarie through this door I
was happy. The moment I was waiting for. But Rosemarie was confused. I
was confused. The first week was exhausting and totally exhilarating.
Exhausting because I was spending every minute with her. I was also
out of bed at nights if I heard her (apart from my 'normal' Pca
nocturnal outings!).
And yet even those tiring days - those uplifting moments; especially
the first time she caught my arm and looked at me anxiously. "Go,
go,go….?" And I held her, looked into her eyes, and released at last
the words coiled inside me for so long: "Your Michael will always be
with you. Every day. Every night. He is NEVER going. Never, never
ever." And when I had to repeat this later there was the very special
moment she suddenly answered vehemently, "Never, never, never, never,
never."
And into the second week she is speaking understandable words. She's
asking carers their names. And how about last night? As I was telling
her it was sleepy time she was chattering away. But then suddenly,
"Good-night darling." Then silence.
Rosemarie is very obviously settling. She has started to give me
lovely beaming smiles. She smiles at carers, at them. Her innate
charm, her innate lifelong training in kindness and good manners has
begun again to make her everybody's favourite.
And I have been learning how to take advantage of the care team to
get an hour or two off. I'm getting more rest and I'm sure I'll be
able to increase it. I'll be fine, with my wife every day, however I
feel.
From visiting Rosemarie almost daily in her previous care home, I was
quite certain that my presence sparked up her brain. She would
otherwise -as all residents of care homes do - sit slumped
listlessly. I'm not sure what can be done globally about it, but I now
believe it is a form of neglect. After only two weeks, I am certain
that as I had believed, our living together will delay the downward
path of her dementia. That she will be aware, even faintly, of a new
emotion - a little happiness. And that we will be able to end what
may be some difficult days, with the comfort, for which there is no
substitute, of being together.
My kind regards and best wishes to all.
MikeHi
P.S. Adding to my comfort, is sleeping more soundly now that I know
Heather's hubby is an old softie...Phew...that was close :-))
Re I Dun It OT. Update 
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