Eulogy--In Memory of my Dad

Hello again folks. These days are again getting tough. But not quite as raw
as in previous years.
Tomorrow will be the
third anniversary of my Dad's passing. He survived prostate cancer, but
not
merkel cell carcinoma. But he did make it to 97!! Not a bad feat, eh.
(Sadly, he would be 100 if still around today!)

Hardly a day has gone by where I haven't thought of him (and I wouldn't want
it
any other way).

I wrote his eulogy and read it at the funeral. As a testament to Dad, I'd
like to post it herein. I have XXX out most of the names (another sad
testament to the times we live in!!)

Thanks for your indulgence.

Mel

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
EULOGY FOR MY FATHER, XXX

By ME!

Some of these thoughts were formulated while I sat by my dad's side in his
hospital room. At that time, he was here physically, but was somewhere else
in another world, because his job here in this world was done. He was on the
final page of his long life's novel.

If there aren't many people here today, that would be understandable. Twenty
years ago, there would have been hundreds, as dad was well-loved and
well-respected by his many friends. But, at 97 years of age, suffice it to
say that he outlived almost all of his good friends.

My dad, xxxxx, was born on May 14, 1908 in the town of Letichev in the
Ukraine, Russia. This was a difficult time, especially if one was Jewish, as
the terror of the pogroms took its toll. In 1919, dad, his brother (Axxxl)
and his mother (xxxka) came to the United States. They settled in Boston.
Dad finished high school and was preparing to go to college and then law
school. However, finances were such that he had to work full time and give
up that dream. After a stint in the jewelry business and the grocery
business he and his family came to New York in 1929. He started working for
Nabisco in 1930 and retired after 40 years with the company. He came to
California in 1970 and spent many years as a realtor.

During his life, while living in New York, dad was a member of the Knights
of Pythias, the AJC (American Jewish Congress) the ADL (Anti-Defamation
League). He was always a regular contributor to the UJA. He was also a
member of Bnai Brith. Before his final move to xxxxxert, he lived in the
xxxxxx in xxxx, where he formed their Homeowners Association.

But enough of such a formal resume. When I think of the man, my dad, the
words "integrity," "intelligence," and "love" immediately come to mind.
During much of his tenure at Nabisco, he was Chairman of the newly formed
Salesmen Union and Chairman of their Negotiating Committee. During my
formative years, we had many discussions about these activities. At the
time, Nabisco's retirement benefits were unclear - some may say "somewhat
secretive." Nobody was sure what those benefits were. This issue was a major
one for the union and the result was a victory: finally a clear policy was
developed. But, my father had plenty of conflicts within the union. He
demanded that before we negotiate, the salesmen should do their jobs
completely and unequivocally. By doing that, he felt he had a stronger
negotiating position. He was willing to negotiate for higher salaries as
long as the workers did their part. Basically, it was the philosophy of "an
honest day's work for an honest day's pay." He absolutely refused to defend
workers who wouldn't do that. I remember two major situations. One worker
was fired for continually leaving early and not finishing his job. Another
worker was fired for stealing. My dad refused to defend these men, despite
the ire of those who felt the union should always defend everyone for every
reason. Yes, my dad's integrity was evident in these dealings. My dad had
values and character before it was "cool."

My father was an extremely intelligent individual. He was always interested
in politics, economics/finances, and the world around him. He would fiercely
debate anyone on a variety of issues. His arguments, although at times
vociferous, were always intelligent and cogent. His positions were well
thought-out, despite his best friend Paul's attempts to egg him on. I
remember one evening calling my dad just to say hello. At the time I called,
the President was giving his State of the Union address. I got royally
chewed out for wasting my time calling him, "while our President was talking
to the nation."

But, I've saved dad's best attribute for last: the ability to love deeply
and unconditionally. My dad married my mother, xxxx, in 1930. He loved her
deeply. Upon their divorce after over 30 years of marriage, I chose to live
with my father. We became quite the team; there was nothing we couldn't do
together. We discussed sports, politics, whatever. Dad was brokenhearted
that his marriage did not work out, but we got through it. He was a
wonderful dad, encouraging me to stick with my studies and taking joy with
my own little successes and giving me suitable condolences when things
didn't work out so well. I could not have asked for a more loving,
supportive father.

Father remarried in 1970. He loved his xxxx very much and was devastated
when she passed away in 1987. It is a measure of the man, that xxx's
daughter-in-law at that time, Paulette, is still a wonderful friend with us
and considered dad her father, too. Upon xxx's death, my father felt that
at the age of 79 his life was over, too. However, he eventually joined a
bereavement group, where he met the love of his life, xxxxx. They were
married in 1989. How wonderful it was to see the smile return to his face.
This past June 13 marked their 16th wedding anniversary. During those 16
years, they wrote many little love letters to each other, left on the
kitchen table almost every morning. I want to thank xxxx for bringing such
joy into my dad's life. Thanks to their mutual love, my dad was
reinvigorated.

For many summers, my dad and his lovely wife,xxx, came to xxx, to spend a
few months with us. (That would be me, my wife, xxxx, and our two children,
xxxx and xxxx.) Those were some of the best days as we shared lots of joys
and discussions together as a family. I also remember dad's impatience and
annoyance when, God forbid, xxxx and xxxx went shopping and came home five
minutes later than expected! But, mostly I remember the sweet tears of joy
at their arrival and the biting tears of sadness when it was time to end
their vacation with us.

Once again, it is a testament to this man that he was a wonderful father to
xxx's daughter, xxx and grandfather to xxxx, xxxx, xxxxxx, and xxx. Sadly,
he was not well enough to meet his great grandson, xxxx, but he did enjoy
the pictures we sent.

Seven years ago, I was amazed that dad, at the age of 90, decided to sell
his home in xxxx and move to xxxx in xxxxx. What spunk!

Oh, and I must tell the story about his driver's license. Dad knew, in his
early 90's, that he really shouldn't be driving, but he refused to give up
his driver's license. Then one day, he received his auto insurance renewal
bill. It reflected a huge increase; surely there was a mistake as dad did
have a flawless driving record. My father inquired about this and was told
the increase was due to his advanced age. Well, he didn't hesitate. He gave
up his driver's license before, as he put it, he "would let those SOB's get
another dime from him!"

Dad's love and sense of humor was evident even in his final days. At the
nursing home, xxx and I were feeding him lunch at a time when we were
convinced that his communication skills and cognitive abilities were totally
gone. He was in the aforementioned other world. He kept pushing his plate
away, towards me. After the tenth time, he suddenly opened his eyes, leaned
towards me, and whispered "You eat it, I'll pay!"

So, you see, little did dad know in those sad days in 1987 that his long
life's novel would have such a wonderful final chapter. Dad, you can finally
rest now. And rest assured that you've lived an honorable, loving life,
worth living. We love you very much and now we bid you adieu. As we say,
"you did good!"