hubby has leukemia

Hello. I'm Lori. I'm a newby. My husband was diagnosed with acute
myeloid leukemia (AML) back in April. He was in remission for the
summer and now has relapsed and is back in the hosipital again. It's
strange how until it happens to you, or someone close to you, cancer is
something that happens to other people. I walk around in a daze now,
just barely making it through my daily routines. And I constantly have
this knot in the pit of my stomach. It NEVER goes away. I am
terrified at the thought of losing him and the oncologists don't give
us much hope. I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"
The thing is, "traditional medicine" is always screwing up. Or
contracting themselves. It's ridiculous. Anyway. I have a ton more
to say on the subject but the baby needs tending to.

"Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
news:1164282494.261993.268100@h54g2000cwb.googlegr oups.com...
> Hello. I'm Lori. I'm a newby. My husband was diagnosed with acute
> myeloid leukemia (AML) back in April. He was in remission for the
> summer and now has relapsed and is back in the hosipital again. It's
> strange how until it happens to you, or someone close to you, cancer is
> something that happens to other people. I walk around in a daze now,
> just barely making it through my daily routines. And I constantly have
> this knot in the pit of my stomach. It NEVER goes away. I am
> terrified at the thought of losing him and the oncologists don't give
> us much hope. I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
> and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
> keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
> person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
> he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
> algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"
> The thing is, "traditional medicine" is always screwing up. Or
> contracting themselves. It's ridiculous. Anyway. I have a ton more
> to say on the subject but the baby needs tending to.
>

Lori,

I think that I'll side with your husband on this one. Traditional medicine
as practiced for thousands of years in the case of Chinese medicine would
have absolutely no knowledge of leukaemia and as such would probably have
treated the fever or other symptoms to what effect? Try anything that's not
toxic, but please don't stop the conventional stuff, at least it gave you a
good summer though it's never enough.

I know the feelings you are going through and the shock and horror that it's
all back so soon, I've had similar experiences with my wife this year with
stomach cancer. Be there for him, tell him you love him at least once a day,
preferably many more times, the flower thing doesn't work quite so well on
men. When it comes to thinking are we living or dieing, make sure that you
go for living, there will be time enough for the other option later,
hopefully much later.

Ian

Lori:

Sadly, I'd have to vote the traditional way. Your husband isn't being closed
minded. He is being realistic.

Of course, the alternative folks will make their nostrums seem more
attractive. They are selling hope, with worthless wares.

The problem is the medical treatments, I'm sure, are horrible -- still
probably in the stone age until more advancements are made. They desperately
need better treatments. That is what gives the hucksters the opening to take
advantage of that misery.

Good luck and best wishes to you.
Have the doctors given up all hope??

Mel



"Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
news:1164282494.261993.268100@h54g2000cwb.googlegr oups.com...
> Hello. I'm Lori. I'm a newby. My husband was diagnosed with acute
> myeloid leukemia (AML) back in April. He was in remission for the
> summer and now has relapsed and is back in the hosipital again. It's
> strange how until it happens to you, or someone close to you, cancer is
> something that happens to other people. I walk around in a daze now,
> just barely making it through my daily routines. And I constantly have
> this knot in the pit of my stomach. It NEVER goes away. I am
> terrified at the thought of losing him and the oncologists don't give
> us much hope. I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
> and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
> keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
> person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
> he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
> algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"
> The thing is, "traditional medicine" is always screwing up. Or
> contracting themselves. It's ridiculous. Anyway. I have a ton more
> to say on the subject but the baby needs tending to.
>

Hi Mel. As I told Bozz. I was rushed in writing my first msg and left
out some important facts that make it seem like I'm completly against
the conventional treatment. Also, I tend to take it out on the
treatment itself at my hubbys lowest times just because I cant stand to
see him like that. I dont want him to give up traditional medcine. I
just want him to take care of himself in his times of remission.
(Eating a salad and taking some vitamin C never hurt anyone) I do
believe there is something to the natural medcine. Perhaps its a good
supportive therapy when used in conjunction with conventional medicine.
To the whole group, I'm asking you all to please bear with me in the
low times and understand if I start bashing the very thing that is
helping him, it is merely me venting. This is an extremely stressful
time for me and I don't know what I agree or disagree with from one
minute to the next. I'm sure there will be times that I come across as
being crazy. lol. And no. They haven't given up all hope. They just
don't offer much of it. I do appreciate the doctor's honesty but I find
that he is a little too blunt. He told us that even with a stem cell
transplant, Murray will still die within 5 years. I have a hard time
understanding that when I have spoken to people who have survived the
same kind of leukemia for 7-10 years after a bone marrow transplant. I
guess he's just baseing it on statistics. But 5 years will only make
Murray 34years old. I can't accept that and I am willing to do anything
to improve his odds. Lori
MB_ wrote:
> Lori:
>
> Sadly, I'd have to vote the traditional way. Your husband isn't being closed
> minded. He is being realistic.
>
> Of course, the alternative folks will make their nostrums seem more
> attractive. They are selling hope, with worthless wares.
>
> The problem is the medical treatments, I'm sure, are horrible -- still
> probably in the stone age until more advancements are made. They desperately
> need better treatments. That is what gives the hucksters the opening to take
> advantage of that misery.
>
> Good luck and best wishes to you.
> Have the doctors given up all hope??
>
> Mel
>
>
>
> "Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
> news:1164282494.261993.268100@h54g2000cwb.googlegr oups.com...
> > Hello. I'm Lori. I'm a newby. My husband was diagnosed with acute
> > myeloid leukemia (AML) back in April. He was in remission for the
> > summer and now has relapsed and is back in the hosipital again. It's
> > strange how until it happens to you, or someone close to you, cancer is
> > something that happens to other people. I walk around in a daze now,
> > just barely making it through my daily routines. And I constantly have
> > this knot in the pit of my stomach. It NEVER goes away. I am
> > terrified at the thought of losing him and the oncologists don't give
> > us much hope. I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
> > and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
> > keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
> > person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
> > he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
> > algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"
> > The thing is, "traditional medicine" is always screwing up. Or
> > contracting themselves. It's ridiculous. Anyway. I have a ton more
> > to say on the subject but the baby needs tending to.
> >

Lori wrote:

> Hi Mel. As I told Bozz. I was rushed in writing my first msg and left
> out some important facts that make it seem like I'm completly against
> the conventional treatment. Also, I tend to take it out on the
> treatment itself at my hubbys lowest times just because I cant stand to
> see him like that. I dont want him to give up traditional medcine. I
> just want him to take care of himself in his times of remission.
> (Eating a salad and taking some vitamin C never hurt anyone) I do
> believe there is something to the natural medcine. Perhaps its a good
> supportive therapy when used in conjunction with conventional medicine.
> To the whole group, I'm asking you all to please bear with me in the
> low times and understand if I start bashing the very thing that is
> helping him, it is merely me venting. This is an extremely stressful
> time for me and I don't know what I agree or disagree with from one
> minute to the next. I'm sure there will be times that I come across as
> being crazy. lol. And no. They haven't given up all hope. They just
> don't offer much of it. I do appreciate the doctor's honesty but I find
> that he is a little too blunt. He told us that even with a stem cell
> transplant, Murray will still die within 5 years. I have a hard time
> understanding that when I have spoken to people who have survived the
> same kind of leukemia for 7-10 years after a bone marrow transplant. I
> guess he's just baseing it on statistics. But 5 years will only make
> Murray 34years old. I can't accept that and I am willing to do anything
> to improve his odds. Lori

Hello Lori and welcome to alt.support.cancer

Jackie's currently away supporting her sister through and beyond stem cell
transplant so watch for her return or update.

Steven's daughter (younger than your husband) had AML. He danced with her in the
hospital hallways.
In other words, respect your husband's wishes and make the best possible of every
day you have him with you.

Dougie's wife also (if I recall correctly) had AML. You can probably touch base
with him here
http://www.jacquie.ca/forum/ Section "WellSpring"

J

J wrote:

> Dougie's wife also (if I recall correctly) had AML. You can probably touch base
> with him here
> http://www.jacquie.ca/forum/ Section "WellSpring"

My sinceree apologies.. It was Lymphoma.
J

Lori wrote:

> I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
> and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
> keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
> person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
> he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
> algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"

That's not close-minded. That's informed and being realistic, Lori

Trust us, Steph and I (and Mel and a few others) have been here many years,
and watched people waste time and money researching, trying other
"alternative" (non-traditional medicines) and it was every time, false
hope.

As Mel suggested, some complementary regimens like massage, TaiChi , Hot
Springs,might improve his quality of life.

A few doctors have been following claims, on various (other) newsgroups,
over many years and the score at this point is 50-60% of all cancers cured
with conventional medicine.
With "alternative medicine" - zero.

Unfortunately, not everyone can be cured. That's being realistic.

J

"Lori" wrote in message
> Hello. I'm Lori. I'm a newby. My husband was diagnosed with acute
> myeloid leukemia (AML) back in April.
....

....

>I have a ton more to say on the subject but the baby needs tending to.
>
Lori,
I am very sorry indeed to read of your sad plight.
J's last line was significant "unfortunately not all cancers can be cured."
Cancer Research UK,which is the biggest research organisation in Europe
is a little franker "currently treatment available is non curative..."
Myeloma UK says the same thing.
You say that your husband's oncologists do not give you much hope.
Small wonder you look elsewhere. Do not give up.
There is a lot of wisdom out there as well as charlatans. You are an
intelligent person and I am sure you can discern the sheep from the goats.
But do not rely overly on this news group.
Try www.acor.org where you will meet fellow sufferers, and join their list.
Speak your mind fearlessly, and above all keep Hope alive.
Good Luck.

Old Bill.
Bill Thomas,
Cardiff UK.

I appreciate your advice J. However I resent that you consider me
uninformed and unrealistic. (Maybe it wasn't said but it was certainly
implied) I don't disagree that conventional medicine is effective in
treating an immediate problem. Hell, chemo saved my hubby's life. But
his doctors admit that it won't do that everytime. The chemo itself
will eventually kill him.
Now. To add a little realistic and very true information to the group.
Chemotherapy itself stems from natural medicine. Anyone who is
"informed" knows that one of the active ingredients is derived from a
bug. Another form of chemo is derived from a plant. The only thing
is, there are chemicals added to it. I challenge anyone to look into
it. They are, according to Murray's oncologist, currently researching
another substance to use in chemo, its called feverfew. Isn't that
mighty interesting since feverfew is one of the things my uncle
recommends to cancer patients. Oh. Sorry. Did I forget to mention my
Uncle is a Doctor of Natural Medicine. And, the cure rate is alot more
than zero. I admit there are a ton of quack doctors out there saying
they can cure this and cure that. I admit that they are scamming
people out of their money. But there is something to it. And here's
something else I challenge anyone to look into..."traditional medicine"
even admits that chemo and radiation BOTH increase your odds of
getting cancer. Chemo in particular has been associated with causing
AML. No wonder AML keeps relapsing. Any oncologist will admit that
cancer cannot survive in an alkaline, and well oxgenated environment.
If you put a cancer stem cell into a petrie dish full of oxygen it will
not multiply. Likewise if you put it in alkaline blood. Chemo makes
you acidic. All you need to prove that is some litmus paper. Soft
drinks make you acidic. RefinedSugar which it is known cancer feeds off
of, makes you acidic. Organically grown fresh fruit and vegetables will
keep your P.H balanced. Processed foods make you acidic. MSG causes
cancer. They KNOW this but it is in the food they give you when you are
in the hosipital being treated for cancer. Look into it. Get
informed. There is a serious problem with the way, not just our medical
system but our whole damn continent is being run!!!
They spray our food with cancer causing chemicals!! They feed our
chickens steroids!! They pump chemicals into the air we breathe.
Cancer deaths are on the rise because of it and despite the fact that
we pump millions of dollars a year into research. I've only skimmed the
surface here. You all wanna be informed.... I can continue. But
straight up. Anyone who can't see the facts for what they are right in
front of them needs to wake up and smell the coffee.

On Nov 23, 3:55 pm, J <erc...@anon.inv> wrote:
> Lori wrote:
> > I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
> > and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
> > keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
> > person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
> > he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
> > algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"That's not close-minded. That's informed and being realistic, Lori
>
> Trust us, Steph and I (and Mel and a few others) have been here many years,
> and watched people waste time and money researching, trying other
> "alternative" (non-traditional medicines) and it was every time, false
> hope.
>
> As Mel suggested, some complementary regimens like massage, TaiChi , Hot
> Springs,might improve his quality of life.
>
> A few doctors have been following claims, on various (other) newsgroups,
> over many years and the score at this point is 50-60% of all cancers cured
> with conventional medicine.
> With "alternative medicine" - zero.
>
> Unfortunately, not everyone can be cured. That's being realistic.
>
> J

Thank you OldBill for your support and I will check out that group.
On Nov 23, 5:02 pm, "OldBill" <Oldb...@splott.uk> wrote:
> "Lori" wrote in message
> > Hello. I'm Lori. I'm a newby. My husband was diagnosed with acute
> > myeloid leukemia (AML) back in April....
>
> ...
>
> >I have a ton more to say on the subject but the baby needs tending to.Lori,
> I am very sorry indeed to read of your sad plight.
> J's last line was significant "unfortunately not all cancers can be cured."
> Cancer Research UK,which is the biggest research organisation in Europe
> is a little franker "currently treatment available is non curative..."
> Myeloma UK says the same thing.
> You say that your husband's oncologists do not give you much hope.
> Small wonder you look elsewhere. Do not give up.
> There is a lot of wisdom out there as well as charlatans. You are an
> intelligent person and I am sure you can discern the sheep from the goats.
> But do not rely overly on this news group.
> Trywww.acor.orgwhere you will meet fellow sufferers, and join their list.
> Speak your mind fearlessly, and above all keep Hope alive.
> Good Luck.
>
> Old Bill.
> Bill Thomas,
> Cardiff UK.

Lori wrote:

> I appreciate your advice J. However I resent that you consider me
> uninformed and unrealistic. (Maybe it wasn't said but it was certainly
> implied) I don't disagree that conventional medicine is effective in
> treating an immediate problem. Hell, chemo saved my hubby's life. But
> his doctors admit that it won't do that everytime. The chemo itself
> will eventually kill him.
> Now. To add a little realistic and very true information to the group.
> Chemotherapy itself stems from natural medicine. Anyone who is
> "informed" knows that one of the active ingredients is derived from a
> bug. Another form of chemo is derived from a plant.

We weren't born yesterday.....
I think Old Bill is right. There's a CAM-ONC ACor list here for you.
http://www.acor.org/mailing.html?l=c
and another, under "A" for AML.
Good luck
J

But, Lori, the facts are that alternative therapies lead people down the
wrong path -- they don't work.

Look, if they did, they wouldn't be ALTERNATIVE.

Let's face it -- who the hell wants to go through these miserable
traditional protocols. It makes one desperate.

But, unfortunately, for survival it appears to be the only game in town.

I HATE this f-disease.

Mel
"Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
news:1164326197.077506.47120@45g2000cws.googlegrou ps.com...
>I appreciate your advice J. However I resent that you consider me
> uninformed and unrealistic. (Maybe it wasn't said but it was certainly
> implied) I don't disagree that conventional medicine is effective in
> treating an immediate problem. Hell, chemo saved my hubby's life. But
> his doctors admit that it won't do that everytime. The chemo itself
> will eventually kill him.
> Now. To add a little realistic and very true information to the group.
> Chemotherapy itself stems from natural medicine. Anyone who is
> "informed" knows that one of the active ingredients is derived from a
> bug. Another form of chemo is derived from a plant. The only thing
> is, there are chemicals added to it. I challenge anyone to look into
> it. They are, according to Murray's oncologist, currently researching
> another substance to use in chemo, its called feverfew. Isn't that
> mighty interesting since feverfew is one of the things my uncle
> recommends to cancer patients. Oh. Sorry. Did I forget to mention my
> Uncle is a Doctor of Natural Medicine. And, the cure rate is alot more
> than zero. I admit there are a ton of quack doctors out there saying
> they can cure this and cure that. I admit that they are scamming
> people out of their money. But there is something to it. And here's
> something else I challenge anyone to look into..."traditional medicine"
> even admits that chemo and radiation BOTH increase your odds of
> getting cancer. Chemo in particular has been associated with causing
> AML. No wonder AML keeps relapsing. Any oncologist will admit that
> cancer cannot survive in an alkaline, and well oxgenated environment.
> If you put a cancer stem cell into a petrie dish full of oxygen it will
> not multiply. Likewise if you put it in alkaline blood. Chemo makes
> you acidic. All you need to prove that is some litmus paper. Soft
> drinks make you acidic. RefinedSugar which it is known cancer feeds off
> of, makes you acidic. Organically grown fresh fruit and vegetables will
> keep your P.H balanced. Processed foods make you acidic. MSG causes
> cancer. They KNOW this but it is in the food they give you when you are
> in the hosipital being treated for cancer. Look into it. Get
> informed. There is a serious problem with the way, not just our medical
> system but our whole damn continent is being run!!!
> They spray our food with cancer causing chemicals!! They feed our
> chickens steroids!! They pump chemicals into the air we breathe.
> Cancer deaths are on the rise because of it and despite the fact that
> we pump millions of dollars a year into research. I've only skimmed the
> surface here. You all wanna be informed.... I can continue. But
> straight up. Anyone who can't see the facts for what they are right in
> front of them needs to wake up and smell the coffee.
>
> On Nov 23, 3:55 pm, J <erc...@anon.inv> wrote:
>> Lori wrote:
>> > I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
>> > and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
>> > keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
>> > person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
>> > he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
>> > algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"That's not close-minded. That's
>> > informed and being realistic, Lori
>>
>> Trust us, Steph and I (and Mel and a few others) have been here many
>> years,
>> and watched people waste time and money researching, trying other
>> "alternative" (non-traditional medicines) and it was every time, false
>> hope.
>>
>> As Mel suggested, some complementary regimens like massage, TaiChi , Hot
>> Springs,might improve his quality of life.
>>
>> A few doctors have been following claims, on various (other) newsgroups,
>> over many years and the score at this point is 50-60% of all cancers
>> cured
>> with conventional medicine.
>> With "alternative medicine" - zero.
>>
>> Unfortunately, not everyone can be cured. That's being realistic.
>>
>> J
>

"Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
news:1164326197.077506.47120@45g2000cws.googlegrou ps.com...
>I appreciate your advice J. However I resent that you consider me
> uninformed and unrealistic. (Maybe it wasn't said but it was certainly
> implied) I don't disagree that conventional medicine is effective in
> treating an immediate problem. Hell, chemo saved my hubby's life. But
> his doctors admit that it won't do that everytime. The chemo itself
> will eventually kill him.
> Now. To add a little realistic and very true information to the group.
> Chemotherapy itself stems from natural medicine. Anyone who is
> "informed" knows that one of the active ingredients is derived from a
> bug. Another form of chemo is derived from a plant. The only thing
> is, there are chemicals added to it. I challenge anyone to look into
> it. They are, according to Murray's oncologist, currently researching
> another substance to use in chemo, its called feverfew. Isn't that
> mighty interesting since feverfew is one of the things my uncle
> recommends to cancer patients. Oh. Sorry. Did I forget to mention my
> Uncle is a Doctor of Natural Medicine. And, the cure rate is alot more
> than zero. I admit there are a ton of quack doctors out there saying
> they can cure this and cure that. I admit that they are scamming
> people out of their money. But there is something to it. And here's
> something else I challenge anyone to look into..."traditional medicine"
> even admits that chemo and radiation BOTH increase your odds of
> getting cancer. Chemo in particular has been associated with causing
> AML. No wonder AML keeps relapsing. Any oncologist will admit that
> cancer cannot survive in an alkaline, and well oxgenated environment.
> If you put a cancer stem cell into a petrie dish full of oxygen it will
> not multiply. Likewise if you put it in alkaline blood. Chemo makes
> you acidic. All you need to prove that is some litmus paper. Soft
> drinks make you acidic. RefinedSugar which it is known cancer feeds off
> of, makes you acidic. Organically grown fresh fruit and vegetables will
> keep your P.H balanced. Processed foods make you acidic. MSG causes
> cancer. They KNOW this but it is in the food they give you when you are
> in the hosipital being treated for cancer. Look into it. Get
> informed. There is a serious problem with the way, not just our medical
> system but our whole damn continent is being run!!!
> They spray our food with cancer causing chemicals!! They feed our
> chickens steroids!! They pump chemicals into the air we breathe.
> Cancer deaths are on the rise because of it and despite the fact that
> we pump millions of dollars a year into research. I've only skimmed the
> surface here. You all wanna be informed.... I can continue. But
> straight up. Anyone who can't see the facts for what they are right in
> front of them needs to wake up and smell the coffee.
>
> On Nov 23, 3:55 pm, J <erc...@anon.inv> wrote:
>> Lori wrote:
>> > I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
>> > and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
>> > keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
>> > person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
>> > he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
>> > algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"That's not close-minded. That's
>> > informed and being realistic, Lori
>>
>> Trust us, Steph and I (and Mel and a few others) have been here many
>> years,
>> and watched people waste time and money researching, trying other
>> "alternative" (non-traditional medicines) and it was every time, false
>> hope.
>>
>> As Mel suggested, some complementary regimens like massage, TaiChi , Hot
>> Springs,might improve his quality of life.
>>
>> A few doctors have been following claims, on various (other) newsgroups,
>> over many years and the score at this point is 50-60% of all cancers
>> cured
>> with conventional medicine.
>> With "alternative medicine" - zero.
>>
>> Unfortunately, not everyone can be cured. That's being realistic.
>>
>> J
>
Lori,

Where would we be without the likes of the Willow tree salicylates,
periwinkles Vincristine, yew trees Taxols, Camptotheca acuminata ("happy
tree") and Irinotecan - our particular favourite at the moment as it's the
main treatment that my wife is on. There are probably dozens more known and
thousands yet to be discovered. Likewise where would we be without the
thousands of clinical trials, both patients and doctors, that have taken
these substances and refined their application to be as good as we can get,
at this moment in time.

Yes Irinotecan and other cytotoxics can cause leukaemias, you can't mess
about with nasty chemicals that kill cells and stop them dividing without
some collateral damage. The hope is that my wife will be long gone before
any such thing occurs.

pH is a funny thing, the body, more specifically the kidneys, controls your
pH between VERY fine limits despite the crap or indead quality organic
produce that we eat. The kidneys really can't tell the quality, just the pH.

Facts are often in the eyes of the beholder. The placebo effect is probably
the most effective general drug we have in our current arsenal. Before you
rubbish one set of treatments that are researched and tested to the best of
our scientific abilities and endorse another that have evolved over time and
are often not proven, you have to ask yourself how much of this view is
beleif, faith or hope and should it be supported in any way other than on
that basis?

I now hate myself for argueing with somebody who is obviously distressed and
I don't mean that to be patronising. We're going through this with 17,18,
and 20 year old kids, what it's like with a baby in tow I can only imagine.
Keep well Lori, look after your hubby and I wish you luck and peace.

Ian

MZB,
I hate it too. Wow!! I was really on a rant last night. Hard day
yesterday. Think I took it out on the group. LOL. Bet ur all glad
I'm here. (she says with sarcasm)
I realize we are not here to debate what the best treatment is and its
not my choice anyway it is my husbands. If he thinks eating burger
king and drinking ten pepsis a day is good for him then fine. He
should carry on. Those 30 cigs a day are doing him real good too. I
just want him to take a vitamin and eat a little better, maybe try to
cut back on smoking. That's all. I was never suggesting we should pay
to have a herbal concoction pumped into his veins either. We are far
from rich people anyway, we wouldn't have the money to spend on
alternative treatment even if he wanted too. I have 2 small boys and
I've gone back to college and I've had to take up a job in a convience
store to make ends meet since Murray can't work. (I had to go back to
work when my youngest was 3wks old)
I just wish the hubby would take better care of himself is all. No one
can argue that it wouldn't hurt.
Like I said I agree that there are many quacks out there, but I do
believe natural medicine offers alot of hope. (Aspects of it, anyway)
But I won't say anymore about it. Agree to disagree with all of you.

MZB wrote:
> But, Lori, the facts are that alternative therapies lead people down the
> wrong path -- they don't work.
>
> Look, if they did, they wouldn't be ALTERNATIVE.
>
> Let's face it -- who the hell wants to go through these miserable
> traditional protocols. It makes one desperate.
>
> But, unfortunately, for survival it appears to be the only game in town.
>
> I HATE this f-disease.
>
> Mel
> "Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
> news:1164326197.077506.47120@45g2000cws.googlegrou ps.com...
> >I appreciate your advice J. However I resent that you consider me
> > uninformed and unrealistic. (Maybe it wasn't said but it was certainly
> > implied) I don't disagree that conventional medicine is effective in
> > treating an immediate problem. Hell, chemo saved my hubby's life. But
> > his doctors admit that it won't do that everytime. The chemo itself
> > will eventually kill him.
> > Now. To add a little realistic and very true information to the group.
> > Chemotherapy itself stems from natural medicine. Anyone who is
> > "informed" knows that one of the active ingredients is derived from a
> > bug. Another form of chemo is derived from a plant. The only thing
> > is, there are chemicals added to it. I challenge anyone to look into
> > it. They are, according to Murray's oncologist, currently researching
> > another substance to use in chemo, its called feverfew. Isn't that
> > mighty interesting since feverfew is one of the things my uncle
> > recommends to cancer patients. Oh. Sorry. Did I forget to mention my
> > Uncle is a Doctor of Natural Medicine. And, the cure rate is alot more
> > than zero. I admit there are a ton of quack doctors out there saying
> > they can cure this and cure that. I admit that they are scamming
> > people out of their money. But there is something to it. And here's
> > something else I challenge anyone to look into..."traditional medicine"
> > even admits that chemo and radiation BOTH increase your odds of
> > getting cancer. Chemo in particular has been associated with causing
> > AML. No wonder AML keeps relapsing. Any oncologist will admit that
> > cancer cannot survive in an alkaline, and well oxgenated environment.
> > If you put a cancer stem cell into a petrie dish full of oxygen it will
> > not multiply. Likewise if you put it in alkaline blood. Chemo makes
> > you acidic. All you need to prove that is some litmus paper. Soft
> > drinks make you acidic. RefinedSugar which it is known cancer feeds off
> > of, makes you acidic. Organically grown fresh fruit and vegetables will
> > keep your P.H balanced. Processed foods make you acidic. MSG causes
> > cancer. They KNOW this but it is in the food they give you when you are
> > in the hosipital being treated for cancer. Look into it. Get
> > informed. There is a serious problem with the way, not just our medical
> > system but our whole damn continent is being run!!!
> > They spray our food with cancer causing chemicals!! They feed our
> > chickens steroids!! They pump chemicals into the air we breathe.
> > Cancer deaths are on the rise because of it and despite the fact that
> > we pump millions of dollars a year into research. I've only skimmed the
> > surface here. You all wanna be informed.... I can continue. But
> > straight up. Anyone who can't see the facts for what they are right in
> > front of them needs to wake up and smell the coffee.
> >
> > On Nov 23, 3:55 pm, J <erc...@anon.inv> wrote:
> >> Lori wrote:
> >> > I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
> >> > and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
> >> > keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
> >> > person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
> >> > he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
> >> > algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"That's not close-minded. That's
> >> > informed and being realistic, Lori
> >>
> >> Trust us, Steph and I (and Mel and a few others) have been here many
> >> years,
> >> and watched people waste time and money researching, trying other
> >> "alternative" (non-traditional medicines) and it was every time, false
> >> hope.
> >>
> >> As Mel suggested, some complementary regimens like massage, TaiChi , Hot
> >> Springs,might improve his quality of life.
> >>
> >> A few doctors have been following claims, on various (other) newsgroups,
> >> over many years and the score at this point is 50-60% of all cancers
> >> cured
> >> with conventional medicine.
> >> With "alternative medicine" - zero.
> >>
> >> Unfortunately, not everyone can be cured. That's being realistic.
> >>
> >> J
> >

Ian,
Don't hate yourself. I liked your message. Every now and again someone
sees my rants for what they really are. Desperation. I know you and
everyone else here has been down this road more than me. Maybe I'm at
the denial stage because I still sometimes refuse to accept that I'm
gonna lose him. Likely soon. It's strange because even talking to all
of you, who I know are going through the same feelings I still feel
completly alone. I feel like I have aged 20yrs in just the 7 months
since he was diagnosed. That indestructable, immortal feeling that I
carried over into my 20's from my teenage years is gone and my life is
very very real all of a sudden.
Thanks for the message.
P.S I'm a huge fan of the placebo effect
Bozz wrote:
> "Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
> news:1164326197.077506.47120@45g2000cws.googlegrou ps.com...
> >I appreciate your advice J. However I resent that you consider me
> > uninformed and unrealistic. (Maybe it wasn't said but it was certainly
> > implied) I don't disagree that conventional medicine is effective in
> > treating an immediate problem. Hell, chemo saved my hubby's life. But
> > his doctors admit that it won't do that everytime. The chemo itself
> > will eventually kill him.
> > Now. To add a little realistic and very true information to the group.
> > Chemotherapy itself stems from natural medicine. Anyone who is
> > "informed" knows that one of the active ingredients is derived from a
> > bug. Another form of chemo is derived from a plant. The only thing
> > is, there are chemicals added to it. I challenge anyone to look into
> > it. They are, according to Murray's oncologist, currently researching
> > another substance to use in chemo, its called feverfew. Isn't that
> > mighty interesting since feverfew is one of the things my uncle
> > recommends to cancer patients. Oh. Sorry. Did I forget to mention my
> > Uncle is a Doctor of Natural Medicine. And, the cure rate is alot more
> > than zero. I admit there are a ton of quack doctors out there saying
> > they can cure this and cure that. I admit that they are scamming
> > people out of their money. But there is something to it. And here's
> > something else I challenge anyone to look into..."traditional medicine"
> > even admits that chemo and radiation BOTH increase your odds of
> > getting cancer. Chemo in particular has been associated with causing
> > AML. No wonder AML keeps relapsing. Any oncologist will admit that
> > cancer cannot survive in an alkaline, and well oxgenated environment.
> > If you put a cancer stem cell into a petrie dish full of oxygen it will
> > not multiply. Likewise if you put it in alkaline blood. Chemo makes
> > you acidic. All you need to prove that is some litmus paper. Soft
> > drinks make you acidic. RefinedSugar which it is known cancer feeds off
> > of, makes you acidic. Organically grown fresh fruit and vegetables will
> > keep your P.H balanced. Processed foods make you acidic. MSG causes
> > cancer. They KNOW this but it is in the food they give you when you are
> > in the hosipital being treated for cancer. Look into it. Get
> > informed. There is a serious problem with the way, not just our medical
> > system but our whole damn continent is being run!!!
> > They spray our food with cancer causing chemicals!! They feed our
> > chickens steroids!! They pump chemicals into the air we breathe.
> > Cancer deaths are on the rise because of it and despite the fact that
> > we pump millions of dollars a year into research. I've only skimmed the
> > surface here. You all wanna be informed.... I can continue. But
> > straight up. Anyone who can't see the facts for what they are right in
> > front of them needs to wake up and smell the coffee.
> >
> > On Nov 23, 3:55 pm, J <erc...@anon.inv> wrote:
> >> Lori wrote:
> >> > I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
> >> > and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
> >> > keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
> >> > person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
> >> > he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
> >> > algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"That's not close-minded. That's
> >> > informed and being realistic, Lori
> >>
> >> Trust us, Steph and I (and Mel and a few others) have been here many
> >> years,
> >> and watched people waste time and money researching, trying other
> >> "alternative" (non-traditional medicines) and it was every time, false
> >> hope.
> >>
> >> As Mel suggested, some complementary regimens like massage, TaiChi , Hot
> >> Springs,might improve his quality of life.
> >>
> >> A few doctors have been following claims, on various (other) newsgroups,
> >> over many years and the score at this point is 50-60% of all cancers
> >> cured
> >> with conventional medicine.
> >> With "alternative medicine" - zero.
> >>
> >> Unfortunately, not everyone can be cured. That's being realistic.
> >>
> >> J
> >
> Lori,
>
> Where would we be without the likes of the Willow tree salicylates,
> periwinkles Vincristine, yew trees Taxols, Camptotheca acuminata ("happy
> tree") and Irinotecan - our particular favourite at the moment as it's the
> main treatment that my wife is on. There are probably dozens more known and
> thousands yet to be discovered. Likewise where would we be without the
> thousands of clinical trials, both patients and doctors, that have taken
> these substances and refined their application to be as good as we can get,
> at this moment in time.
>
> Yes Irinotecan and other cytotoxics can cause leukaemias, you can't mess
> about with nasty chemicals that kill cells and stop them dividing without
> some collateral damage. The hope is that my wife will be long gone before
> any such thing occurs.
>
> pH is a funny thing, the body, more specifically the kidneys, controls your
> pH between VERY fine limits despite the crap or indead quality organic
> produce that we eat. The kidneys really can't tell the quality, just the pH.
>
> Facts are often in the eyes of the beholder. The placebo effect is probably
> the most effective general drug we have in our current arsenal. Before you
> rubbish one set of treatments that are researched and tested to the best of
> our scientific abilities and endorse another that have evolved over time and
> are often not proven, you have to ask yourself how much of this view is
> beleif, faith or hope and should it be supported in any way other than on
> that basis?
>
> I now hate myself for argueing with somebody who is obviously distressed and
> I don't mean that to be patronising. We're going through this with 17,18,
> and 20 year old kids, what it's like with a baby in tow I can only imagine.
> Keep well Lori, look after your hubby and I wish you luck and peace.
>
> Ian

"Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
news:1164362760.370379.103080@j44g2000cwa.googlegr oups.com...
> Ian,
> Don't hate yourself. I liked your message. Every now and again someone
> sees my rants for what they really are. Desperation. I know you and
> everyone else here has been down this road more than me. Maybe I'm at
> the denial stage because I still sometimes refuse to accept that I'm
> gonna lose him. Likely soon. It's strange because even talking to all
> of you, who I know are going through the same feelings I still feel
> completly alone. I feel like I have aged 20yrs in just the 7 months
> since he was diagnosed. That indestructable, immortal feeling that I
> carried over into my 20's from my teenage years is gone and my life is
> very very real all of a sudden.
> Thanks for the message.
> P.S I'm a huge fan of the placebo effect

Lori,
I know that feeling of alone alright. I've got friends and relatives and
they come around a lot and that helps at the time. It's those silly times
like in the supermarket or cooking dinner, when you are semi occupied, maybe
these thoughts just wait for the guard to lower a little, and then pounce?

After being married 24 years I guess we have sorted things out and work as a
team. Conclusions that have developed over time, you might need to sort out
a little more explicitly, pulling in the same direction is so much easier
than a tug-of-war. You have some memories to build for the kids and you
can't do that alone. We men are not good at being sick, woman's cold=men's
flu and all that. If you do have only a little time left then you need to
make it as positive as you can and you need to get this across to your
husband. If you can't do this alone then look for help wherever you can get
it.

Ian

J wrote:
> Lori wrote:
>
>
>> I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
>>and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
>>keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
>>person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
>>he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
>>algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"
>
>
> That's not close-minded. That's informed and being realistic, Lori
>
> Trust us, Steph and I (and Mel and a few others) have been here many years,
> and watched people waste time and money researching, trying other
> "alternative" (non-traditional medicines) and it was every time, false
> hope.
>
> As Mel suggested, some complementary regimens like massage, TaiChi , Hot
> Springs,might improve his quality of life.
>
> A few doctors have been following claims, on various (other) newsgroups,
> over many years and the score at this point is 50-60% of all cancers cured
> with conventional medicine.
> With "alternative medicine" - zero.
>
> Unfortunately, not everyone can be cured. That's being realistic.
>
> J
>

My daughter has gotten really excited about alternative medicine as
possibly being a cure for her Dad (colon CA with mets to the liver).
Some of these books/websites have testimonials about how these methods
have "completely cured" cancer in people. How can these sites so
blatantly lie people? Are there no laws of any kind against outright
lying about 'cures'? There should be.

Kathy

Bozz,
I wish I could have 24 years with Murray. Despite that we have only
been married 3 years, we have a surprisingly strong, and mutually
supportive marriage. We clicked from the day we met. Same goals, same
dreams all that stuff. I was just telling J we have alot of humour in
our relationship. Alot of goofing around. We're kidders. I never in my
whole life had someone understand some of the things I find humour in.
Most would think there was something horribly wrong with me. He
dosen't. He has the same sense of humour. Twisted as it is. He is my
everything.
I record in my memory every moment I have with him. The tug of war I'm
having isn't with him. It's with myself. One side of me will not
accept that he is sick, and that I could lose him. That's the side
that wants to run away. The other side knows whats needs to be done,
accepted and faced up to. (no, i don't have split personalities lol)
I'm really scared today. Really hopeless.
> "Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
> news:1164362760.370379.103080@j44g2000cwa.googlegr oups.com...
> > Ian,
> > Don't hate yourself. I liked your message. Every now and again someone
> > sees my rants for what they really are. Desperation. I know you and
> > everyone else here has been down this road more than me. Maybe I'm at
> > the denial stage because I still sometimes refuse to accept that I'm
> > gonna lose him. Likely soon. It's strange because even talking to all
> > of you, who I know are going through the same feelings I still feel
> > completly alone. I feel like I have aged 20yrs in just the 7 months
> > since he was diagnosed. That indestructable, immortal feeling that I
> > carried over into my 20's from my teenage years is gone and my life is
> > very very real all of a sudden.
> > Thanks for the message.
> > P.S I'm a huge fan of the placebo effect
>
> Lori,
> I know that feeling of alone alright. I've got friends and relatives and
> they come around a lot and that helps at the time. It's those silly times
> like in the supermarket or cooking dinner, when you are semi occupied, maybe
> these thoughts just wait for the guard to lower a little, and then pounce?
>
> After being married 24 years I guess we have sorted things out and work as a
> team. Conclusions that have developed over time, you might need to sort out
> a little more explicitly, pulling in the same direction is so much easier
> than a tug-of-war. You have some memories to build for the kids and you
> can't do that alone. We men are not good at being sick, woman's cold=men's
> flu and all that. If you do have only a little time left then you need to
> make it as positive as you can and you need to get this across to your
> husband. If you can't do this alone then look for help wherever you can get
> it.
>
> Ian

Kathy,
I don't beleive anything I read that has testimonials. That's a load
bull, I know. I also don't believe that natural medicine is a flat out
cure for anything. Anything you have to pay $1500 a day for is bound
to be a scam. I agree.
My uncle is a naturopathic doctor. He dosen't claim to be able to cure
anyone. He admits that it is not foolproof. Although he has a few
good success stories. One of his patients in particular I have spoken
to, whos son had a rare kind of throat cancer. ( I cannot remember the
exact name of it, but apparantly it's a fast moving cancer than is
usually capable of killing within a year despite treatment) The
doctors had given up on him and basically told them that his only
choice was to wait to die. His mother wouldn't take that and went to
my uncle. He survived 7 years and some. Then he stopped following the
diet. The cancer returned and he died. (The doctors had given him no
more than a few months) His quality of life in those 7 years was also
good, according to his mother. She sees my uncle for he regular
checkups now, and does not see MDs at all. I personally think that's
going too far but to each their own.
The nutritional side of natural medicines cancer treatment programs,
are harmless and inexpensive and you do not have to get advice from a
professional N.D to use it. I don't care what anyone says. Eating
right, exercising, having a positive attitude, not smoking, and
avoiding refined sugar and processed foods with additives is good for
anyone. Not just a cancer patient. And those things are a huge part
of the regimen.
Kathy wrote:
> J wrote:
> > Lori wrote:
> >
> >
> >> I have researched natural medicine for the past 6 months
> >>and believe it offers a hell of alot more hope than the poison they
> >>keep pumping into him. Unfortunately, my hubby is a very close minded
> >>person. He always has been. He is very much a product of society and
> >>he had unrelenting faith in his doctors. "If they can't cure me, no
> >>algae pills are gonna f$%@nin' do it"
> >
> >
> > That's not close-minded. That's informed and being realistic, Lori
> >
> > Trust us, Steph and I (and Mel and a few others) have been here many years,
> > and watched people waste time and money researching, trying other
> > "alternative" (non-traditional medicines) and it was every time, false
> > hope.
> >
> > As Mel suggested, some complementary regimens like massage, TaiChi , Hot
> > Springs,might improve his quality of life.
> >
> > A few doctors have been following claims, on various (other) newsgroups,
> > over many years and the score at this point is 50-60% of all cancers cured
> > with conventional medicine.
> > With "alternative medicine" - zero.
> >
> > Unfortunately, not everyone can be cured. That's being realistic.
> >
> > J
> >
>
> My daughter has gotten really excited about alternative medicine as
> possibly being a cure for her Dad (colon CA with mets to the liver).
> Some of these books/websites have testimonials about how these methods
> have "completely cured" cancer in people. How can these sites so
> blatantly lie people? Are there no laws of any kind against outright
> lying about 'cures'? There should be.
>
> Kathy

"Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
news:1164374710.824902.40000@j72g2000cwa.googlegro ups.com...
> Bozz,
> I wish I could have 24 years with Murray. Despite that we have only
> been married 3 years, we have a surprisingly strong, and mutually
> supportive marriage. We clicked from the day we met. Same goals, same
> dreams all that stuff. I was just telling J we have alot of humour in
> our relationship. Alot of goofing around. We're kidders. I never in my
> whole life had someone understand some of the things I find humour in.
> Most would think there was something horribly wrong with me. He
> dosen't. He has the same sense of humour. Twisted as it is. He is my
> everything.
> I record in my memory every moment I have with him. The tug of war I'm
> having isn't with him. It's with myself. One side of me will not
> accept that he is sick, and that I could lose him. That's the side
> that wants to run away. The other side knows whats needs to be done,
> accepted and faced up to. (no, i don't have split personalities lol)
> I'm really scared today. Really hopeless.
>> "Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
>> news:1164362760.370379.103080@j44g2000cwa.googlegr oups.com...
>> > Ian,
>> > Don't hate yourself. I liked your message. Every now and again someone
>> > sees my rants for what they really are. Desperation. I know you and
>> > everyone else here has been down this road more than me. Maybe I'm at
>> > the denial stage because I still sometimes refuse to accept that I'm
>> > gonna lose him. Likely soon. It's strange because even talking to all
>> > of you, who I know are going through the same feelings I still feel
>> > completly alone. I feel like I have aged 20yrs in just the 7 months
>> > since he was diagnosed. That indestructable, immortal feeling that I
>> > carried over into my 20's from my teenage years is gone and my life is
>> > very very real all of a sudden.
>> > Thanks for the message.
>> > P.S I'm a huge fan of the placebo effect
>>
>> Lori,
>> I know that feeling of alone alright. I've got friends and relatives and
>> they come around a lot and that helps at the time. It's those silly times
>> like in the supermarket or cooking dinner, when you are semi occupied,
>> maybe
>> these thoughts just wait for the guard to lower a little, and then
>> pounce?
>>
>> After being married 24 years I guess we have sorted things out and work
>> as a
>> team. Conclusions that have developed over time, you might need to sort
>> out
>> a little more explicitly, pulling in the same direction is so much easier
>> than a tug-of-war. You have some memories to build for the kids and you
>> can't do that alone. We men are not good at being sick, woman's
>> cold=men's
>> flu and all that. If you do have only a little time left then you need to
>> make it as positive as you can and you need to get this across to your
>> husband. If you can't do this alone then look for help wherever you can
>> get
>> it.
>>
>> Ian
>

I too wish I could have 24 yrs with my hubby. We are two nuts lol. Laugh
and carry on at the silliest things. We really clicked from the start also.
He is my best friend in the world. Through the last year of me having this
dreaded "malfunction" as I so call it, I have really watched a change come
over my husband. He is so withdrawn from me at times. He himself is a
cancer survivor of 6 yrs (colon) and his theory is "it will all be ok" he
just doesnt get it and if he does, this is his way of coping maybe?. It is
almost like this is just a bad dream at times. I know that the time will
come for me, and I worry so about what will happen to him, I am not scared
of dying, I am scared of leaving him. We are not real social people. Have
no real friends and I hurt at the thought of him being all alone. The past
few days I have really been down, not sure whats going on with me but I am
having a hard time dealing with things lately. I am back on steroids once
again and my head is feeling that kinda full feeling at times again, almost
like a whooosh kinda feeling but part of me thinks it comes from my ears
(maybe the wax in ears hardened due to the WBRT???) . Maybe its nothing, I
called doc and they didnt seem too concerned, maybe it just goes with the
territory of having the tumors in the brain area. Kind of glad no one is
around today, been one of those cry all day days.

Well thanks for letting me rant a tad, I havent posted in awhile, here
lurking however.

Angie

Lori wrote:

> I don't beleive anything I read that has testimonials. That's a load
> bull, I know. I also don't believe that natural medicine is a flat out
> cure for anything. Anything you have to pay $1500 a day for is bound
> to be a scam. I agree.
> My uncle is a naturopathic doctor. He dosen't claim to be able to cure
> anyone. He admits that it is not foolproof. Although he has a few
> good success stories. One of his patients in particular I have spoken
> to, whos son had a rare kind of throat cancer. ( I cannot remember the
> exact name of it, but apparantly it's a fast moving cancer than is
> usually capable of killing within a year despite treatment) The
> doctors had given up on him and basically told them that his only
> choice was to wait to die. His mother wouldn't take that and went to
> my uncle. He survived 7 years and some. Then he stopped following the
> diet. The cancer returned and he died. (The doctors had given him no
> more than a few months) His quality of life in those 7 years was also
> good, according to his mother.

You've just given a testimonial without revealing the type of cancer or dyplasia
and what conventional treatments he had. That's exactly a testimonial.
J

Angie wrote:
> I too wish I could have 24 yrs with my hubby. We are two nuts lol. Laugh
> and carry on at the silliest things. We really clicked from the start
> also. He is my best friend in the world. Through the last year of me
> having this dreaded "malfunction" as I so call it, I have really watched a
> change come over my husband. He is so withdrawn from me at times. He
> himself is a cancer survivor of 6 yrs (colon) and his theory is "it will
> all be ok" he just doesnt get it and if he does, this is his way of
> coping maybe?. It is almost like this is just a bad dream at times. I
> know that the time will come for me, and I worry so about what will happen
> to him, I am not scared of dying, I am scared of leaving him. We are not
> real social people. Have no real friends and I hurt at the thought of him
> being all alone. The past few days I have really been down, not sure
> whats going on with me but I am having a hard time dealing with things
> lately. I am back on steroids once again and my head is feeling that
> kinda full feeling at times again, almost like a whooosh kinda feeling but
> part of me thinks it comes from my ears (maybe the wax in ears hardened
> due to the WBRT???) . Maybe its nothing, I called doc and they didnt seem
> too concerned, maybe it just goes with the territory of having the tumors
> in the brain area. Kind of glad no one is around today, been one of those
> cry all day days.
>
> Well thanks for letting me rant a tad, I havent posted in awhile, here
> lurking however.
>
> Angie

Angie,
1, 2, 10, 24 years of marriage, it's never enough in a loving relationship.
We've been together for 30 years now, we met when she was 17 and I was 18.
I'm not sure if that qualifies as childhood sweethearts or not? I know that
if I start a sentence she knows how to finish it and likewise I know her
inside out. Your hear something and think of a song, she smiles because
she's thinking of the same song.

She seems far more concerned about leaving me to cope by myself, the kids at
university and all those day to day things, than her own fate. I of course
feel the exact opposite. I like to think that we are social people and maybe
that makes it all a bit easier, not feeling so alone. In reality we have a
couple of really close friends and maybe that's all you need.

Those steroids play havoc with my wife, they screw up her diabetes, upset
her stomach and make it even more difficult for her to eat. I always
remember when our 8 year old nephew was on high dose steroids for his
leukaemia, you had to be very careful driving past a MacDonald's as he was
always SO HUNGRY and boy did he let you know. Tonight, despite my best
culinary efforts, the food simple won't go down, yet another fish has died
in vain. It looks like fortified jelly (Jell-O FOAC) and cream with After
Eight chasers for dinner.

Ian

"Lori" <lorisflurry@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
news:1164374710.824902.40000@j72g2000cwa.googlegro ups.com...
> Bozz,
> I wish I could have 24 years with Murray. Despite that we have only
> been married 3 years, we have a surprisingly strong, and mutually
> supportive marriage. We clicked from the day we met. Same goals, same
> dreams all that stuff. I was just telling J we have alot of humour in
> our relationship. Alot of goofing around. We're kidders. I never in my
> whole life had someone understand some of the things I find humour in.
> Most would think there was something horribly wrong with me. He
> dosen't. He has the same sense of humour. Twisted as it is. He is my
> everything.
> I record in my memory every moment I have with him. The tug of war I'm
> having isn't with him. It's with myself. One side of me will not
> accept that he is sick, and that I could lose him. That's the side
> that wants to run away. The other side knows whats needs to be done,
> accepted and faced up to. (no, i don't have split personalities lol)
> I'm really scared today. Really hopeless.

Fear is a very strange emotion, to me it stems from the defence mechanism.
The trouble is the fear itself is actually worse than whatever it is we are
fearing. My greatest fear when caring for my husband was that I was going
to lose him; I wondered how on earth I was going to carry on; I didn't want
to be alone; how was I going to cope with my two girls on my own.

But we all seem to have an inner strength that comes into play when we need
it most. Looking back I've no idea how I coped with two kids and a husband
suffering a brain tumour; but I did. My greatest fear of being left alone
came true; but I'm still sat here at t