I promise to write.....

As soon as I have a chance. I'm keeping my sister's girls as well as my
own. I have to take my mother to the doctor at 4:15. So Tracey, J, Fig,
and others I will write you all tonight with an update and some things I'd
like to say...With love, Chris

Tracey, J, Fig, CSM, and others, this is a little about my dad and being
raised by him. I am a preacher here in the south. I take no salary for
this. It comes from the heart. My dad always taught us that kindess comes
first before anything, and that if someone does something nice for you, you
are to never forget it. He used to take me to nursing homes when I was
younger. I would always draw sunflowers for the residents there. The
sunflower is my favorite flower, they look like they are always smiling at
you. I love older people to this day. My dad believed in treating everyone
better than your own self. I grew up with this, and I'm happy to say that
his traits that were passed down to me, are also passed down to my own
daughters. Now they are drawing sunflowers for the residents of the nursing
home we visit. My girls also save their allowances, and immediately send
them off to St. Jude. We were doing this before my dad was diagnosed.
Today my dad said to me, please don't blame G-d, because He did not cause
this. He said life here caused his disease. I truly believe that too. We
also love nature. We feed about every kind of wildlife there is, but our
favorites are the deer. My youngest daughter is just getting to where she
talks good. She came to me today, after her 5 dollar allowance, and told me
she wanted to give it to what she calls, the Ronnie McDonnie house. She did
this on her own, she is nearly 3, and I'm so proud of her. We are not rich
financially by no means, but we are rich in family and our love for each
other. Nothing material could ever beat that. My girls and I every night
pray for paw paw, they really want him to get well. I've explained to them
that he might not get well, and we will just take it day by day, and be with
him all we can. My dad had told my youngest daughter that there may be
times when he can't get out of bed. She said to him, don't worry paw paw, I
will help you up. This nearly brought me to tears. She doesn't grasp what
he's about to go through. But she wants to help him because she knows he is
sick. I am preparing my girls if he doesn't come through this. I am also
trying to prepare myself, I still think of my dad as my hero, and I think of
myself as his little girl. My dad has touched lots of lives in all of his
70 years. Now it's time for me and my girls to keep that going. We enjoy
growing vegetables, and the fruit we take to the residents of the nursing
home. We just try and uplift people, because everyone needs a kind word,
and they also need hope. I had my youngest run into the room of one of the
residents, and she said, I'm Victoria, and I'm your angel. The old man just
cried, and said, yes you are baby. My dad instilled so much good into
raising us. I can't express how much that means to me. My heart doesn't
harbor hate, just hope and love. And when someone is kind like you all were
to me, it's something I'll treasure and never forget. I want all of you to
know that each of you are special to me, and no matter what happens with
daddy, that will remain the same. I've never seen such an outpouring of
care like I did when I first came here. Tracey is right. J, what you do
here for other people is so wonderful, words can't express how big that is.
I came here scared and not knowing what would happen. But you gave me
information, a caring heart, and an ear to listen. You are a giver and not
a taker, and I can easily see that. Your compassion will never be forgotten
by me, or by anyone who comes in contact with you. Because of you I have
hope, and I'm blessed just by knowing you. All of you are angels of mercy.
You care even though you don't know us. I can only imagine people who have
came here like me, and needed someone so much, and J, you were right there
for them. The world needs you, and so do I. I am honored to know all of
you. I am uplifted by your words, and I carry them with me in my heart. We
intend to grow a sunflower for each of you. One will be J, one Fig, one
Tracey, and so on. This is to honor your kindness. Words could never
express how much this groups has affected me. You have touched my soul, and
my heart, and all of you will always mean the world to me and my
girls......Kindest Regards always, Chris

Chris it sounds like you have made Ed proud. Your kids sound wonderful and
caring. Having a strong faith in God will help you and your family get
through this time.

Not shielding your kids from you Dad is good, but don't forget ( and you
won't) you kids come first. It is very hard to have sick parents while your
kids are so dependent on you. Now is the time to call in all the favors, I
bet plenty of people are there for you to support you and your kids.

Best of luck, Alex

"Ed's daughter" <dontspamme@anon.net> wrote in message
news:z%Eji.44315$Qz4.38044@bignews2.bellsouth.net. ..
> Tracey, J, Fig, CSM, and others, this is a little about my dad and being
> raised by him. I am a preacher here in the south. I take no salary for
> this. It comes from the heart. My dad always taught us that kindess
comes
> first before anything, and that if someone does something nice for you,
you
> are to never forget it. He used to take me to nursing homes when I was
> younger. I would always draw sunflowers for the residents there. The
> sunflower is my favorite flower, they look like they are always smiling at
> you. I love older people to this day. My dad believed in treating
everyone
> better than your own self. I grew up with this, and I'm happy to say that
> his traits that were passed down to me, are also passed down to my own
> daughters. Now they are drawing sunflowers for the residents of the
nursing
> home we visit. My girls also save their allowances, and immediately send
> them off to St. Jude. We were doing this before my dad was diagnosed.
> Today my dad said to me, please don't blame G-d, because He did not cause
> this. He said life here caused his disease. I truly believe that too.
We
> also love nature. We feed about every kind of wildlife there is, but our
> favorites are the deer. My youngest daughter is just getting to where she
> talks good. She came to me today, after her 5 dollar allowance, and told
me
> she wanted to give it to what she calls, the Ronnie McDonnie house. She
did
> this on her own, she is nearly 3, and I'm so proud of her. We are not
rich
> financially by no means, but we are rich in family and our love for each
> other. Nothing material could ever beat that. My girls and I every night
> pray for paw paw, they really want him to get well. I've explained to
them
> that he might not get well, and we will just take it day by day, and be
with
> him all we can. My dad had told my youngest daughter that there may be
> times when he can't get out of bed. She said to him, don't worry paw paw,
I
> will help you up. This nearly brought me to tears. She doesn't grasp
what
> he's about to go through. But she wants to help him because she knows he
is
> sick. I am preparing my girls if he doesn't come through this. I am also
> trying to prepare myself, I still think of my dad as my hero, and I think
of
> myself as his little girl. My dad has touched lots of lives in all of his
> 70 years. Now it's time for me and my girls to keep that going. We enjoy
> growing vegetables, and the fruit we take to the residents of the nursing
> home. We just try and uplift people, because everyone needs a kind word,
> and they also need hope. I had my youngest run into the room of one of
the
> residents, and she said, I'm Victoria, and I'm your angel. The old man
just
> cried, and said, yes you are baby. My dad instilled so much good into
> raising us. I can't express how much that means to me. My heart doesn't
> harbor hate, just hope and love. And when someone is kind like you all
were
> to me, it's something I'll treasure and never forget. I want all of you
to
> know that each of you are special to me, and no matter what happens with
> daddy, that will remain the same. I've never seen such an outpouring of
> care like I did when I first came here. Tracey is right. J, what you do
> here for other people is so wonderful, words can't express how big that
is.
> I came here scared and not knowing what would happen. But you gave me
> information, a caring heart, and an ear to listen. You are a giver and
not
> a taker, and I can easily see that. Your compassion will never be
forgotten
> by me, or by anyone who comes in contact with you. Because of you I have
> hope, and I'm blessed just by knowing you. All of you are angels of
mercy.
> You care even though you don't know us. I can only imagine people who
have
> came here like me, and needed someone so much, and J, you were right there
> for them. The world needs you, and so do I. I am honored to know all of
> you. I am uplifted by your words, and I carry them with me in my heart.
We
> intend to grow a sunflower for each of you. One will be J, one Fig, one
> Tracey, and so on. This is to honor your kindness. Words could never
> express how much this groups has affected me. You have touched my soul,
and
> my heart, and all of you will always mean the world to me and my
> girls......Kindest Regards always, Chris
>
>

And you have touched ours Chris. I planted sunflowers too, but I think I
will look at them in a much different light this year. Thank you.

Tracey

Ed's daughter wrote:

> As soon as I have a chance. I'm keeping my sister's girls as well as my
> own. I have to take my mother to the doctor at 4:15. So Tracey, J, Fig,
> and others I will write you all tonight with an update and some things I'd
> like to say...With love, Chris

I think you forgot the update part;
how's your mother, Chris?
J

Ed's daughter wrote:

> Tracey, J, Fig, CSM, and others, this is a little about my dad and being
> raised by him. I am a preacher here in the south. I take no salary for
> this. It comes from the heart. My dad always taught us that kindess comes
> first before anything, and that if someone does something nice for you, you
> are to never forget it. He used to take me to nursing homes when I was
> younger. I would always draw sunflowers for the residents there. The
> sunflower is my favorite flower, they look like they are always smiling at
> you. I love older people to this day. My dad believed in treating everyone
> better than your own self. I grew up with this, and I'm happy to say that
> his traits that were passed down to me, are also passed down to my own
> daughters. Now they are drawing sunflowers for the residents of the nursing
> home we visit. My girls also save their allowances, and immediately send
> them off to St. Jude. We were doing this before my dad was diagnosed.
> Today my dad said to me, please don't blame G-d, because He did not cause
> this. He said life here caused his disease. I truly believe that too. We
> also love nature. We feed about every kind of wildlife there is, but our
> favorites are the deer. My youngest daughter is just getting to where she
> talks good. She came to me today, after her 5 dollar allowance, and told me
> she wanted to give it to what she calls, the Ronnie McDonnie house. She did
> this on her own, she is nearly 3, and I'm so proud of her. We are not rich
> financially by no means, but we are rich in family and our love for each
> other. Nothing material could ever beat that. My girls and I every night
> pray for paw paw, they really want him to get well. I've explained to them
> that he might not get well, and we will just take it day by day, and be with
> him all we can. My dad had told my youngest daughter that there may be
> times when he can't get out of bed. She said to him, don't worry paw paw, I
> will help you up. This nearly brought me to tears. She doesn't grasp what
> he's about to go through. But she wants to help him because she knows he is
> sick. I am preparing my girls if he doesn't come through this. I am also
> trying to prepare myself, I still think of my dad as my hero, and I think of
> myself as his little girl. My dad has touched lots of lives in all of his
> 70 years. Now it's time for me and my girls to keep that going. We enjoy
> growing vegetables, and the fruit we take to the residents of the nursing
> home. We just try and uplift people, because everyone needs a kind word,
> and they also need hope. I had my youngest run into the room of one of the
> residents, and she said, I'm Victoria, and I'm your angel. The old man just
> cried, and said, yes you are baby. My dad instilled so much good into
> raising us. I can't express how much that means to me. My heart doesn't
> harbor hate, just hope and love. And when someone is kind like you all were
> to me, it's something I'll treasure and never forget. I want all of you to
> know that each of you are special to me, and no matter what happens with
> daddy, that will remain the same. I've never seen such an outpouring of
> care like I did when I first came here. Tracey is right. J, what you do
> here for other people is so wonderful, words can't express how big that is.
> I came here scared and not knowing what would happen. But you gave me
> information, a caring heart, and an ear to listen. You are a giver and not
> a taker, and I can easily see that. Your compassion will never be forgotten
> by me, or by anyone who comes in contact with you. Because of you I have
> hope, and I'm blessed just by knowing you. All of you are angels of mercy.
> You care even though you don't know us. I can only imagine people who have
> came here like me, and needed someone so much, and J, you were right there
> for them. The world needs you, and so do I. I am honored to know all of
> you. I am uplifted by your words, and I carry them with me in my heart. We
> intend to grow a sunflower for each of you. One will be J, one Fig, one
> Tracey, and so on. This is to honor your kindness. Words could never
> express how much this groups has affected me. You have touched my soul, and
> my heart, and all of you will always mean the world to me and my
> girls......Kindest Regards always, Chris

Thanks for reminding me about sunflowers; I'll look to see if the store has any
and sow some in the fields, in the dark. They might become happy faces shining
at us under the stars and moon.
I''m glad you've got so many sunflowers in your life.
Thanks for the inspirational post.
J

"TRC" <anybody@anywhere.anywhere> wrote in message
news:AcydneI9VbrS2RLbnZ2dnUVZ_hmtnZ2d@comcast.com. ..
>
> "Ed's daughter" <dontspamme@anon.net> wrote in message
> news:z%Eji.44315$Qz4.38044@bignews2.bellsouth.net. ..
>> Tracey, J, Fig, CSM, and others, this is a little about my dad and being
>> raised by him. I am a preacher here in the south. I take no salary for
>> this. It comes from the heart. My dad always taught us that kindess
> comes
>> first before anything, and that if someone does something nice for you,
> you
>> are to never forget it. He used to take me to nursing homes when I was
>> younger. I would always draw sunflowers for the residents there. The
>> sunflower is my favorite flower, they look like they are always smiling
>> at
>> you. I love older people to this day. My dad believed in treating
> everyone
>> better than your own self. I grew up with this, and I'm happy to say
>> that
>> his traits that were passed down to me, are also passed down to my own
>> daughters. Now they are drawing sunflowers for the residents of the
> nursing
>> home we visit. My girls also save their allowances, and immediately send
>> them off to St. Jude. We were doing this before my dad was diagnosed.
>> Today my dad said to me, please don't blame G-d, because He did not cause
>> this. He said life here caused his disease. I truly believe that too.
> We
>> also love nature. We feed about every kind of wildlife there is, but our
>> favorites are the deer. My youngest daughter is just getting to where
>> she
>> talks good. She came to me today, after her 5 dollar allowance, and told
> me
>> she wanted to give it to what she calls, the Ronnie McDonnie house. She
> did
>> this on her own, she is nearly 3, and I'm so proud of her. We are not
> rich
>> financially by no means, but we are rich in family and our love for each
>> other. Nothing material could ever beat that. My girls and I every
>> night
>> pray for paw paw, they really want him to get well. I've explained to
> them
>> that he might not get well, and we will just take it day by day, and be
> with
>> him all we can. My dad had told my youngest daughter that there may be
>> times when he can't get out of bed. She said to him, don't worry paw
>> paw,
> I
>> will help you up. This nearly brought me to tears. She doesn't grasp
> what
>> he's about to go through. But she wants to help him because she knows he
> is
>> sick. I am preparing my girls if he doesn't come through this. I am
>> also
>> trying to prepare myself, I still think of my dad as my hero, and I think
> of
>> myself as his little girl. My dad has touched lots of lives in all of
>> his
>> 70 years. Now it's time for me and my girls to keep that going. We
>> enjoy
>> growing vegetables, and the fruit we take to the residents of the nursing
>> home. We just try and uplift people, because everyone needs a kind word,
>> and they also need hope. I had my youngest run into the room of one of
> the
>> residents, and she said, I'm Victoria, and I'm your angel. The old man
> just
>> cried, and said, yes you are baby. My dad instilled so much good into
>> raising us. I can't express how much that means to me. My heart doesn't
>> harbor hate, just hope and love. And when someone is kind like you all
> were
>> to me, it's something I'll treasure and never forget. I want all of you
> to
>> know that each of you are special to me, and no matter what happens with
>> daddy, that will remain the same. I've never seen such an outpouring of
>> care like I did when I first came here. Tracey is right. J, what you do
>> here for other people is so wonderful, words can't express how big that
> is.
>> I came here scared and not knowing what would happen. But you gave me
>> information, a caring heart, and an ear to listen. You are a giver and
> not
>> a taker, and I can easily see that. Your compassion will never be
> forgotten
>> by me, or by anyone who comes in contact with you. Because of you I have
>> hope, and I'm blessed just by knowing you. All of you are angels of
> mercy.
>> You care even though you don't know us. I can only imagine people who
> have
>> came here like me, and needed someone so much, and J, you were right
>> there
>> for them. The world needs you, and so do I. I am honored to know all of
>> you. I am uplifted by your words, and I carry them with me in my heart.
> We
>> intend to grow a sunflower for each of you. One will be J, one Fig, one
>> Tracey, and so on. This is to honor your kindness. Words could never
>> express how much this groups has affected me. You have touched my soul,
> and
>> my heart, and all of you will always mean the world to me and my
>> girls......Kindest Regards always, Chris
>>
>>
>
> And you have touched ours Chris. I planted sunflowers too, but I think I
> will look at them in a much different light this year. Thank you.
>
> Tracey
>
>
Thank you too Tracey. My girls are looking forward to the Tracey sunflower.
They really seem to have taken to you, and I've only told them about you and
your kindness to me. My daughter said she couldn't wait to see her Tracey
sunflower. And when we have it, I will think of you. I will imagine you
smiling at us. What a wonderful thing that will be. I hope you are doing
well, you are in our thoughts always......Warmly, Chris

"alex" <alex@noemail.ctv> wrote in message
news:f6idnapVv5zUuRLbnZ2dnUVZ_v6tnZ2d@comcast.com. ..
>
> Chris it sounds like you have made Ed proud. Your kids sound wonderful and
> caring. Having a strong faith in God will help you and your family get
> through this time.
>
> Not shielding your kids from you Dad is good, but don't forget ( and you
> won't) you kids come first. It is very hard to have sick parents while
> your kids are so dependent on you. Now is the time to call in all the
> favors, I bet plenty of people are there for you to support you and your
> kids.
>
> Best of luck, Alex
>
Thanks so much Alex. Yes the kids will come first. I hope that they will
want to be around my daddy alot. My oldest girl is having trouble sleeping
at night. She wants to sleep with me, because she is afraid paw paw will
die. Every time the phone rings, she sort of freezes, afraid that it will
be a bad call about my daddy. She is really affected by this, and I'm
thinking of getting her into therapy. She won't express her feelings to me
that much, but she does talk about it to her friends. She also hasn't been
eating much. I know she needs all the attention I can give her. My dad and
her have always been very close. Last night, my dad was telling me what of
his he wanted me to have. I just begged him not to talk that way right now.
Let's just focus on getting to the doctor and trusting in the doctor. He
thinks he will die. It's very hard for me to know he's thinking that. The
kids have been making homeade cards for him and going to see him every day.
I just wish he could have some hope. But right now, it's like he's given
up. Thanks for your reply, it means alot to me.

"J" <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote in message
news:468F60B5.38F1586@execulink.com...
> Ed's daughter wrote:
>
>> As soon as I have a chance. I'm keeping my sister's girls as well as my
>> own. I have to take my mother to the doctor at 4:15. So Tracey, J, Fig,
>> and others I will write you all tonight with an update and some things
>> I'd
>> like to say...With love, Chris
>
> I think you forgot the update part;
> how's your mother, Chris?
> J
>
>
Oh J, I'm so sorry. My mother has 2 ulcers in her stomach. The doctor put
her on antibiotics, and Nexium. She is still refusing to take the Nexium,
because she thinks it has too many side effects. She is 72, and it's very
hard to get her to do something. She sleeps on a stack of pillows, because
of the terrible acid reflux she has. She can't eat very much either,
without throwing up. The doctor said if she's lost any more weight when she
sees him next month, that she will have to be hospitalized again. She said
no to this, that she had to take care of my father. I've assured her that
my sister and I will be taking him to his chemo treatments, that way it
frees up one of us to look after her. She's just in real bad shape. She
won't listen to anyone. Her mother died of a bleeding ulcer, she too
refused medical attention. By the time she did agree to go to the hospital,
after vomiting blood all day, her blood pressure was only 20. She died that
night. My mother is a really depressed person. She thinks of her life as a
failure, and she's always been like this. I grew up not knowing what kind
of mood she would be in. She never hugged us or told us she loved us, my
dad would do all of that. I've never known a day that she wasn't depressed.
Of course, she refuses help for that too. She doesn't like taking medicine
at all. She called me today and said she woke up with bloody acid in her
mouth, and had to run to the bathroom. I'm at a loss with her. I can't
make her do anything. My sister and I were just talking about how we could
lose them both. Any ideas for her? I've ran out of knowing what to do.
Any thought I have for her she won't accept. I could really use your
knowledge J. I don't know where else to turn.....Warmly to you always,
Chris.

Ed's daughter wrote:

> Oh J, I'm so sorry. My mother has 2 ulcers in her stomach. The doctor put
> her on antibiotics, and Nexium. She is still refusing to take the Nexium,
> because she thinks it has too many side effects. She is 72, and it's very
> hard to get her to do something. She sleeps on a stack of pillows, because
> of the terrible acid reflux she has. She can't eat very much either,
> without throwing up. The doctor said if she's lost any more weight when she
> sees him next month, that she will have to be hospitalized again. She said
> no to this, that she had to take care of my father. I've assured her that
> my sister and I will be taking him to his chemo treatments, that way it
> frees up one of us to look after her. She's just in real bad shape. She
> won't listen to anyone. Her mother died of a bleeding ulcer, she too
> refused medical attention. By the time she did agree to go to the hospital,
> after vomiting blood all day, her blood pressure was only 20. She died that
> night. My mother is a really depressed person. She thinks of her life as a
> failure, and she's always been like this. I grew up not knowing what kind
> of mood she would be in. She never hugged us or told us she loved us, my
> dad would do all of that. I've never known a day that she wasn't depressed.
> Of course, she refuses help for that too. She doesn't like taking medicine
> at all. She called me today and said she woke up with bloody acid in her
> mouth, and had to run to the bathroom. I'm at a loss with her. I can't
> make her do anything. My sister and I were just talking about how we could
> lose them both. Any ideas for her? I've ran out of knowing what to do.
> Any thought I have for her she won't accept. I could really use your
> knowledge J. I don't know where else to turn.....Warmly to you always,
> Chris.

Hi Chris,
I've never tried Nexium.
Have her try the lowest dose, twice a day (before breakfast and before supper).
Tell her we've hatched a plan to get her well again.
She's no good to anybody is she ends up in hospital.
I want her to join a "mind, body, spirit" program, maybe at YWCA?

The goal to listen and learn and maybe make a few close friends, whom she can
trust and confide in, by phone, when she's feeling blue or just wants to share
with another, but it has to be a few people she can trust.
I also want her on a baby dose of prozac***, taken each morning. This has to be
worked out as to when, (and if) with her doctor. It comes in liquid form, so
we're talking drops every day. (to be reviewed at the 30 day mark)
[** I picked Prozac after looking at the side effects of many others and because
it's available in drops]

Stop or limit caffeine containing drinks to mornings only.
Same for acidic juices.
Her supper must include bread (or something bread like) and the last bite must
be "breadish".
Only wter allowed in the evening, sparingly. Water mixes with acids and comes
back up.
No acidic fruit allowed in the evening. A peach should be ok.
No alcohol nor wine.
No chocolates
(some of the above might be modified once she's on the healing side, which I
calculate at about 3 months.

She needs positive reinforcement - someone to tell her daily about one positive
or another of hers.
Dig out old photos, dig out music or books or knitting she used to like, clothes
she used to wear.
Make plans for once she feels well again.. Set dates on a calendar. Brunch
with the grandkids.
To the park with your father one day for a picnic lunch, probably a week before
next treatment.
Think up things for her to look forward to. Some new clothes (shopping) snce
she's well and puts on weight.
A half day at a spa with you, on a quieter week.

Keep a list on her fridge (of her positives). Kids can add to it as well. She
smells good.
I like her laugh. I like her in her blue dress... whatever comes to mind on any
day.
That's my interim prescription for your mother. (check with her doctor, of
course, has to be agreeable to this plan). We'll have to see how it goes and if
she gets well enough, yes she can help with your father.

IThere's also Pantoprazole (Protonix)
http://www.drugdigest.org/DD/HC/Trea...047,14,00.html
click on Proton Pump Inhibitor.
Side effects should be mild if they're low dose.

Please give her a hug from me and tell her someone from Canada cares about her
and is waiting for her to prove to me that she can get well again, please.
J

>>
> Thanks so much Alex. Yes the kids will come first. I hope that they will
> want to be around my daddy alot. My oldest girl is having trouble
> sleeping at night.
Sounds like you have your priorties in order.
She wants to sleep with me, because she is afraid paw paw will
> die. Every time the phone rings, she sort of freezes, afraid that it will
> be a bad call about my daddy. She is really affected by this, and I'm
> thinking of getting her into therapy.

Ask her pediatrician, unfortunately it won't be the first time s/he has been
asked.

She won't express her feelings to me
> that much, but she does talk about it to her friends. She also hasn't
> been eating much. I know she needs all the attention I can give her. My
> dad and her have always been very close.


That is good, it sounds like your Dad is grounded important for both of them
to connect.

Last night, my dad was telling me what of
> his he wanted me to have. I just begged him not to talk that way right
> now. Let's just focus on getting to the doctor and trusting in the doctor.
> He thinks he will die. It's very hard for me to know he's thinking that.
> The kids have been making homeade cards for him and going to see him every
> day. I just wish he could have some hope. But right now, it's like he's
> given up. Thanks for your reply, it means alot to me.


The whole experience is overwhelming, you are correct to trust the doctors
but your Dad may need time.

Alex
>
>

J <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote in news:468FE128.A6A53EBF@execulink.com:

> Ed's daughter wrote:
>
While I seldom post, I must respond to your comments about Nexium. I have
been on it for several years and had most of the problems your mother
has, but can tolerate almost anything with this medication. I have NOT
experienced any significant SE's and would encourage your mother to at
least try it for 30 days since it is one Rx that works as advertised.

As with all ancedotal comments, you must make your own decisions based
upon facts and personal experience. It's unfortunate that there is so
much advertising for prescription products that we become jaded because
many of them do not perform well or have unfortunate SE's.

Paul

> Oh J, I'm so sorry. My mother has 2 ulcers in her stomach. The doctor
> put her on antibiotics, and Nexium. She is still refusing to take the
> Nexium, because she thinks it has too many side effects. She is 72, and
> it's very hard to get her to do something. She sleeps on a stack of
> pillows, because of the terrible acid reflux she has. She can't eat very
> much either,
Snip-----------------

Hi Chris,
I have been on Nexium for the past two years and for me it works
really well , with NO side effects. I take one at Night on a daily basis
and if need be I will take two a day for about three days if my reflux
flares up after eating too much spicy food.

Take care and God bless Peter.

"Peter Clarke" <peter@clarke2.co.uk> wrote in message
news:epedna1L3pUDSQ7bnZ2dnUVZ8s-qnZ2d@brightview.com...
>
>
>> Oh J, I'm so sorry. My mother has 2 ulcers in her stomach. The doctor
>> put her on antibiotics, and Nexium. She is still refusing to take the
>> Nexium, because she thinks it has too many side effects. She is 72, and
>> it's very hard to get her to do something. She sleeps on a stack of
>> pillows, because of the terrible acid reflux she has. She can't eat very
>> much either,
> Snip-----------------
>
> Hi Chris,
> I have been on Nexium for the past two years and for me it works
> really well , with NO side effects. I take one at Night on a daily basis
> and if need be I will take two a day for about three days if my reflux
> flares up after eating too much spicy food.
>
> Take care and God bless Peter.
>
Thank you both so much. My mom was just taking the Nexium when she felt she
needed it. Her prescription bottle says to take it every day, but she would
never do that. I called her and read both of your responses, and she said
she will take it every day. She said she thought it was to be taken only
when she needed it. It's hard to get through to my parents some times,
because they are older and very set in their ways. She told me her stomach
was burning very bad today and I will just make sure she takes the medicine
every day. I have to look after her and my father now. I've begged them to
come live with us but they say they never want to leave their home. Thanks
again for your imformative posts.....Warmly, Chris

"Ed's daughter" <dontspamme@anon.net> wrote in
news:HFPji.17831$3a.12734@bignews9.bellsouth.net:

>
> "J" <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote in message
> news:468F60B5.38F1586@execulink.com...
>> Ed's daughter wrote:
>>
>>> As soon as I have a chance. I'm keeping my sister's girls as well
>>> as my own. I have to take my mother to the doctor at 4:15. So
>>> Tracey, J, Fig, and others I will write you all tonight with an
>>> update and some things I'd
>>> like to say...With love, Chris
>>
>> I think you forgot the update part;
>> how's your mother, Chris?
>> J
>>
>>
> Oh J, I'm so sorry. My mother has 2 ulcers in her stomach. The
> doctor put her on antibiotics, and Nexium. She is still refusing to
> take the Nexium, because she thinks it has too many side effects. She
> is 72, and it's very hard to get her to do something. She sleeps on a
> stack of pillows, because of the terrible acid reflux she has. She
> can't eat very much either, without throwing up. The doctor said if
> she's lost any more weight when she sees him next month, that she will
> have to be hospitalized again. She said no to this, that she had to
> take care of my father. I've assured her that my sister and I will be
> taking him to his chemo treatments, that way it frees up one of us to
> look after her. She's just in real bad shape. She won't listen to
> anyone. Her mother died of a bleeding ulcer, she too refused medical
> attention. By the time she did agree to go to the hospital, after
> vomiting blood all day, her blood pressure was only 20. She died that
> night. My mother is a really depressed person. She thinks of her
> life as a failure, and she's always been like this. I grew up not
> knowing what kind of mood she would be in. She never hugged us or
> told us she loved us, my dad would do all of that. I've never known a
> day that she wasn't depressed. Of course, she refuses help for that
> too. She doesn't like taking medicine at all. She called me today
> and said she woke up with bloody acid in her mouth, and had to run to
> the bathroom. I'm at a loss with her. I can't make her do anything.
> My sister and I were just talking about how we could lose them both.
> Any ideas for her? I've ran out of knowing what to do. Any thought I
> have for her she won't accept. I could really use your knowledge J.
> I don't know where else to turn.....Warmly to you always, Chris.
>
Chris,
What Nexium side effects does she fear? There are at least 2 classes of
drugs that reduce acid reflux in different ways. I am no expert, but I
have taken both kinds with great results.

J has some good ideas for eating with this problem. I do similarly.
You want to minimize problematic food before bed. Eat an early light
dinner. The bread helps sop up the acids, or so it seems.

From you description, it sounds like this could do her a lot of good. I
don't know about the ulcer. If she won't take the med, maybe you could
alert her doctor?

Fig

"Figgertoes" <agent01413@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9969E25209229agent01413mydejacom@216.168.3 .44...
> "Ed's daughter" <dontspamme@anon.net> wrote in
> news:HFPji.17831$3a.12734@bignews9.bellsouth.net:
>
>>
>> "J" <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote in message
>> news:468F60B5.38F1586@execulink.com...
>>> Ed's daughter wrote:
>>>
>>>> As soon as I have a chance. I'm keeping my sister's girls as well
>>>> as my own. I have to take my mother to the doctor at 4:15. So
>>>> Tracey, J, Fig, and others I will write you all tonight with an
>>>> update and some things I'd
>>>> like to say...With love, Chris
>>>
>>> I think you forgot the update part;
>>> how's your mother, Chris?
>>> J
>>>
>>>
>> Oh J, I'm so sorry. My mother has 2 ulcers in her stomach. The
>> doctor put her on antibiotics, and Nexium. She is still refusing to
>> take the Nexium, because she thinks it has too many side effects. She
>> is 72, and it's very hard to get her to do something. She sleeps on a
>> stack of pillows, because of the terrible acid reflux she has. She
>> can't eat very much either, without throwing up. The doctor said if
>> she's lost any more weight when she sees him next month, that she will
>> have to be hospitalized again. She said no to this, that she had to
>> take care of my father. I've assured her that my sister and I will be
>> taking him to his chemo treatments, that way it frees up one of us to
>> look after her. She's just in real bad shape. She won't listen to
>> anyone. Her mother died of a bleeding ulcer, she too refused medical
>> attention. By the time she did agree to go to the hospital, after
>> vomiting blood all day, her blood pressure was only 20. She died that
>> night. My mother is a really depressed person. She thinks of her
>> life as a failure, and she's always been like this. I grew up not
>> knowing what kind of mood she would be in. She never hugged us or
>> told us she loved us, my dad would do all of that. I've never known a
>> day that she wasn't depressed. Of course, she refuses help for that
>> too. She doesn't like taking medicine at all. She called me today
>> and said she woke up with bloody acid in her mouth, and had to run to
>> the bathroom. I'm at a loss with her. I can't make her do anything.
>> My sister and I were just talking about how we could lose them both.
>> Any ideas for her? I've ran out of knowing what to do. Any thought I
>> have for her she won't accept. I could really use your knowledge J.
>> I don't know where else to turn.....Warmly to you always, Chris.
>>
> Chris,
> What Nexium side effects does she fear? There are at least 2 classes of
> drugs that reduce acid reflux in different ways. I am no expert, but I
> have taken both kinds with great results.
>
> J has some good ideas for eating with this problem. I do similarly.
> You want to minimize problematic food before bed. Eat an early light
> dinner. The bread helps sop up the acids, or so it seems.
>
> From you description, it sounds like this could do her a lot of good. I
> don't know about the ulcer. If she won't take the med, maybe you could
> alert her doctor?
>
> Fig
>
My mom, through one of her friends, got it into her mind that the coating on
the Nexium was making her break out in rashes. You see both of my parents
listen to their *wise* friends rather than their doctors. I've assured her
this is a safe drug, and that her rashes are caused by her intense anxiety.
She has panic attacks and was prescribed xanax, but she won't take that
either. Some days I feel like screaming. But I respect them too much to
talk down to them. Yes I agree, I need to tell her doctor. She says she
will take it every day, and I hope she will. I will watch her bottle, and
make sure she's taking it every day. I would love if you could give me some
tips on her eating. Just about anything she eats now makes her sick. Today
they found their other dog dead. Now it's a suspected poisoning from the
neighbor who hates animals in general. This girl had her father's dog put
to sleep after he died. She has told my mother she hates animals. Now my
mother constantly worries about what this person might do to her. My mother
suffers from OCD's as well. I don't think she's ever had a peaceful day in
all of my 38 years. I'm just going to have to take over her medical care.
I will go to the doctor with her also. I have to find someone to watch my
girls now. My husband is working late. We are in a financial rut. It's
very hard. Somehow I have to make it work. I am totally willing to take
care of my parents, and my family also. I just hope I won't get sick.
Because of my mom's problems, I've been on antidepressants since I was 18.
I never understood why it seemed like she didn't love me. It's affected me
in a horrible way. But with my own daughters, I learned how NOT to treat
them. I want them to have the security of a loving mother, who will keep
them safe from everything I can. I hate to put this out, but I was molested
as a child. My mother didn't believe me, so it went on and on. This was
from a man at church. That is all I can write about it without breaking
down into tears. I guess I needed to vent that. Thanks for responding to
me Fig, you've really helped me......Warmly, Chris

>
>> Oh J, I'm so sorry. My mother has 2 ulcers in her stomach. The doctor
>> put her on antibiotics, and Nexium. She is still refusing to take the
>> Nexium, because she thinks it has too many side effects. She is 72, and
>> it's very hard to get her to do something. She sleeps on a stack of
>> pillows, because of the terrible acid reflux she has. She can't eat very
>> much either,
> Snip-----------------

If she's tried the Nexium and gets side effects (has she tried it or just
read the 'blurb'?) then losec or somac or ranitidine are quite adequate for
most people. It's the antibiotic that is going to settle the cause of the
ulcers anyway.
Mike

Ed's daughter wrote:

> My mom, through one of her friends, got it into her mind that the coating on
> the Nexium was making her break out in rashes. You see both of my parents
> listen to their *wise* friends rather than their doctors. I've assured her
> this is a safe drug, and that her rashes are caused by her intense anxiety.
> She has panic attacks and was prescribed xanax, but she won't take that
> either. Some days I feel like screaming. But I respect them too much to
> talk down to them. Yes I agree, I need to tell her doctor. She says she
> will take it every day, and I hope she will. I will watch her bottle, and
> make sure she's taking it every day. I would love if you could give me some
> tips on her eating. Just about anything she eats now makes her sick. Today
> they found their other dog dead. Now it's a suspected poisoning from the
> neighbor who hates animals in general. This girl had her father's dog put
> to sleep after he died. She has told my mother she hates animals. Now my
> mother constantly worries about what this person might do to her. My mother
> suffers from OCD's as well. I don't think she's ever had a peaceful day in
> all of my 38 years. I'm just going to have to take over her medical care.
> I will go to the doctor with her also. I have to find someone to watch my
> girls now. My husband is working late. We are in a financial rut. It's
> very hard. Somehow I have to make it work. I am totally willing to take
> care of my parents, and my family also. I just hope I won't get sick.
> Because of my mom's problems, I've been on antidepressants since I was 18.
> I never understood why it seemed like she didn't love me. It's affected me
> in a horrible way. But with my own daughters, I learned how NOT to treat
> them. I want them to have the security of a loving mother, who will keep
> them safe from everything I can. I hate to put this out, but I was molested
> as a child. My mother didn't believe me, so it went on and on. This was
> from a man at church. That is all I can write about it without breaking
> down into tears. I guess I needed to vent that. Thanks for responding to
> me Fig, you've really helped me......Warmly, Chris

Lots of troubles there, Chris.
Too much for one person to handle, in my opinion.

Foods that worsen GERD are here
http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/gerd/
Other lifestyle changes are also mentioned.
I think your mother should be hospitalized.
They could check down her esophagus and throat and probably help calm things
down.
It might be all inflamed and very sore. She could be seen by a dietician who
would perhaps recommend a book of bland recipes. She could keep track of the
meals that they serve, that she can eat (for you, for later). She could be seen
by a psychiatrist, for discussion and medications for her woes, which could be
stress, anxiety and/or depression and hopefully continue some type of
counselling in hospital and beyond, to come to terms with the family dynamics
and what happened to you. A few weeks maybe and then hopefully she'll start
healing and be of help to your father. Could he stay with you in the meantime?

You and your husband seem to be the foundation, but it's too much for you all.
If you get sick from all this, everything falls apart. Try to get help for your
mother.

You also should be getting couselling, someday soon. And then a supervised
confrontation with your mother, but it's too early for that. Maybe write anger
letters (just to get some of it out of your system for now) and keep them. Take
care. I hope you find solutions to some of these problems.
J

"Ed's daughter" <dontspamme@anon.net> wrote in
news:3wZki.371$O9.277@bignews6.bellsouth.net:

>
> "Figgertoes" <agent01413@my-deja.com> wrote in message
> news:Xns9969E25209229agent01413mydejacom@216.168.3 .44...
>> "Ed's daughter" <dontspamme@anon.net> wrote in
>> news:HFPji.17831$3a.12734@bignews9.bellsouth.net:
>>
>>>
>>> "J" <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote in message
>>> news:468F60B5.38F1586@execulink.com...
>>>> Ed's daughter wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> As soon as I have a chance. I'm keeping my sister's girls as well
>>>>> as my own. I have to take my mother to the doctor at 4:15. So
>>>>> Tracey, J, Fig, and others I will write you all tonight with an
>>>>> update and some things I'd
>>>>> like to say...With love, Chris
>>>>
>>>> I think you forgot the update part;
>>>> how's your mother, Chris?
>>>> J
>>>>
>>>>
>>> Oh J, I'm so sorry. My mother has 2 ulcers in her stomach. The
>>> doctor put her on antibiotics, and Nexium. She is still refusing to
>>> take the Nexium, because she thinks it has too many side effects.
>>> She is 72, and it's very hard to get her to do something. She
>>> sleeps on a stack of pillows, because of the terrible acid reflux
>>> she has. She can't eat very much either, without throwing up. The
>>> doctor said if she's lost any more weight when she sees him next
>>> month, that she will have to be hospitalized again. She said no to
>>> this, that she had to take care of my father. I've assured her that
>>> my sister and I will be taking him to his chemo treatments, that way
>>> it frees up one of us to look after her. She's just in real bad
>>> shape. She won't listen to anyone. Her mother died of a bleeding
>>> ulcer, she too refused medical attention. By the time she did agree
>>> to go to the hospital, after vomiting blood all day, her blood
>>> pressure was only 20. She died that night. My mother is a really
>>> depressed person. She thinks of her life as a failure, and she's
>>> always been like this. I grew up not knowing what kind of mood she
>>> would be in. She never hugged us or told us she loved us, my dad
>>> would do all of that. I've never known a day that she wasn't
>>> depressed. Of course, she refuses help for that too. She doesn't
>>> like taking medicine at all. She called me today and said she woke
>>> up with bloody acid in her mouth, and had to run to the bathroom.
>>> I'm at a loss with her. I can't make her do anything. My sister and
>>> I were just talking about how we could lose them both. Any ideas for
>>> her? I've ran out of knowing what to do. Any thought I have for her
>>> she won't accept. I could really use your knowledge J. I don't know
>>> where else to turn.....Warmly to you always, Chris.
>>>
>> Chris,
>> What Nexium side effects does she fear? There are at least 2 classes
>> of drugs that reduce acid reflux in different ways. I am no expert,
>> but I have taken both kinds with great results.
>>
>> J has some good ideas for eating with this problem. I do similarly.
>> You want to minimize problematic food before bed. Eat an early light
>> dinner. The bread helps sop up the acids, or so it seems.
>>
>> From you description, it sounds like this could do her a lot of good.
>> I don't know about the ulcer. If she won't take the med, maybe you
>> could alert her doctor?
>>
>> Fig
>>
> My mom, through one of her friends, got it into her mind that the
> coating on the Nexium was making her break out in rashes. You see
> both of my parents listen to their *wise* friends rather than their
> doctors. I've assured her this is a safe drug, and that her rashes
> are caused by her intense anxiety. She has panic attacks and was
> prescribed xanax, but she won't take that either. Some days I feel
> like screaming. But I respect them too much to talk down to them.
> Yes I agree, I need to tell her doctor. She says she will take it
> every day, and I hope she will. I will watch her bottle, and make
> sure she's taking it every day. I would love if you could give me
> some tips on her eating. Just about anything she eats now makes her
> sick. Today they found their other dog dead. Now it's a suspected
> poisoning from the neighbor who hates animals in general. This girl
> had her father's dog put to sleep after he died. She has told my
> mother she hates animals. Now my mother constantly worries about what
> this person might do to her. My mother suffers from OCD's as well. I
> don't think she's ever had a peaceful day in all of my 38 years. I'm
> just going to have to take over her medical care. I will go to the
> doctor with her also. I have to find someone to watch my girls now.
> My husband is working late. We are in a financial rut. It's very
> hard. Somehow I have to make it work. I am totally willing to take
> care of my parents, and my family also. I just hope I won't get sick.
> Because of my mom's problems, I've been on antidepressants since I was
> 18. I never understood why it seemed like she didn't love me. It's
> affected me in a horrible way. But with my own daughters, I learned
> how NOT to treat them. I want them to have the security of a loving
> mother, who will keep them safe from everything I can. I hate to put
> this out, but I was molested as a child. My mother didn't believe me,
> so it went on and on. This was from a man at church. That is all I
> can write about it without breaking down into tears. I guess I needed
> to vent that. Thanks for responding to me Fig, you've really helped
> me......Warmly, Chris
>
Hi, Chris,

I see J has responded in my absence with some good advice. One person
can only handle so much & your plate is full. With both parents in
crisis, your family needing you, financial concerns & unresolved issues
from so long ago, you need to make sure you can stay on an even keel
yourself.

Your mither seems to have some cognative problems as well as health
issues. Is is possible to get her into some temporary custodial care so
she can be evaluated mentally & medically? That would take her off
everyone's hands while you are helping your father. It does not sound
like she is capable of administering her own medications. She may need
to go into assisted care either temporarily or permanently. Is that
your obvservation?

Once both of your parents are evaluated & stabalized, you might want to
engage whatever services are available to you through church, hospital,
services for people with cancer (there are often sessions for families)
to help you heal the pain your family is suffering. Better to act now
than to regret later. They might be able to facilitate communication
among all of you & also help your precious little girls deal with your
grandparents' illnesses. They can help all of you with acceptance &
forgiveness. It's not too late.

Hugs,
Fig

Figgertoes wrote:

> I see J has responded in my absence with some good advice. One person
> can only handle so much & your plate is full. With both parents in
> crisis, your family needing you, financial concerns & unresolved issues
> from so long ago, you need to make sure you can stay on an even keel
> yourself.
>
> Your mither seems to have some cognative problems as well as health
> issues. Is is possible to get her into some temporary custodial care so
> she can be evaluated mentally & medically? That would take her off
> everyone's hands while you are helping your father. It does not sound
> like she is capable of administering her own medications. She may need
> to go into assisted care either temporarily or permanently. Is that
> your obvservation?

Temporary custodial care? Sounds like you're sending the GERD police !
Heavens to Betsy ! Lots of people go or off their non-lifesaving medications
and we don't send the GERD police after them. <g>
Her doctor already said if she doesn't improve, she'll have to be
hospitalized, so I was hoping Chris could speed that up.

> Once both of your parents are evaluated & stabalized, you might want to
> engage whatever services are available to you through church, hospital,
> services for people with cancer (there are often sessions for families)
> to help you heal the pain your family is suffering. Better to act now
> than to regret later. They might be able to facilitate communication
> among all of you & also help your precious little girls deal with your
> grandparents' illnesses. They can help all of you with acceptance &
> forgiveness. It's not too late.

It's up to Chris, but given all that's on her plate, I was hoping to get her
mother started on a dialogue to facilitate future discussions, when Chris is
ready.
My freind had a similar situation and had to do it in her own time, own
place (of her choosing).
It's not something that can be rushed and especially not during this family
crisis. (is my opinion)
J

J <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote in news:46990DB8.44367A2B@execulink.com:

> Figgertoes wrote:
>
>> I see J has responded in my absence with some good advice. One
>> person can only handle so much & your plate is full. With both
>> parents in crisis, your family needing you, financial concerns &
>> unresolved issues from so long ago, you need to make sure you can
>> stay on an even keel yourself.
>>
>> Your mither seems to have some cognative problems as well as health
>> issues. Is is possible to get her into some temporary custodial care
>> so she can be evaluated mentally & medically? That would take her
>> off everyone's hands while you are helping your father. It does not
>> sound like she is capable of administering her own medications. She
>> may need to go into assisted care either temporarily or permanently.
>> Is that your obvservation?
>
> Temporary custodial care? Sounds like you're sending the GERD police
> ! Heavens to Betsy ! Lots of people go or off their non-lifesaving
> medications and we don't send the GERD police after them. <g>
> Her doctor already said if she doesn't improve, she'll have to be
> hospitalized, so I was hoping Chris could speed that up.

I have GERD; she has GERD+++. Chris is describing her as vomiting when
she eats very much & awaking with a mouth full of bloody acid. Maybe
that is not life threatening. I don't know. My docs told me GERD can
lead to cancer & it can eat away at the espohogus. That was enough to
get me swallowing 2 pills a day. I changed types of meds several times
b/c of what insurances would pay for. Now they don't pay for it at all.
She ordered an upper GI to evaluate damage. Mine was caught early & no
damage. btw mine came on suddenly with no prior symptoms at all. I'd
spent the better part of a day bending over, picking up piles of heavy
tiles & moving them. The feeling was of an acute heart problem, which
was logical after the exertion.

When I said temporary custodial care, I was thinking of a hospital or
nursing home where she could be evaluated & her medications could be
administered/adjusted. I'm just thinking Chris has enough to do/people
to look after without having to cajole her mother into taking her meds.
Yet this doesn't look like a situation that can be put on the back
burner either. Cute about GERD police tho!

Chris, my doc told me to buy a gentle wedge pillow. It starts inclining
just above the waist & is about 6" high at its tallest. I put my
regular down bed pillow on top of it. She said a pile of pillows is not
the answer.

This looks like my pillow:
http://www.makemeheal.com/mmh/product.do?id=10043

Fig
>
>> Once both of your parents are evaluated & stabalized, you might want
>> to engage whatever services are available to you through church,
>> hospital, services for people with cancer (there are often sessions
>> for families) to help you heal the pain your family is suffering.
>> Better to act now than to regret later. They might be able to
>> facilitate communication among all of you & also help your precious
>> little girls deal with your grandparents' illnesses. They can help
>> all of you with acceptance & forgiveness. It's not too late.
>
> It's up to Chris, but given all that's on her plate, I was hoping to
> get her mother started on a dialogue to facilitate future discussions,
> when Chris is ready.
> My freind had a similar situation and had to do it in her own time,
> own place (of her choosing).
> It's not something that can be rushed and especially not during this
> family crisis. (is my opinion)
> J
>
Lots of serious unresolved issues & now roles have changed & Chris is
caring for her parents. They may all go to their graves without
resolving, but sometimes very ill people want an opportunity to clear up
such in a safe way, perhaps be forgiven, so they can have a clear
conscience, This may or not be the situation with Chris' family.

Fig

>>
>> Temporary custodial care? Sounds like you're sending the GERD police
>> ! Heavens to Betsy ! Lots of people go or off their non-lifesaving
>> medications and we don't send the GERD police after them. <g>
>> Her doctor already said if she doesn't improve, she'll have to be
>> hospitalized, so I was hoping Chris could speed that up.
>
> When I said temporary custodial care, I was thinking of a hospital or
> nursing home where she could be evaluated & her medications could be
> administered/adjusted. I'm just thinking Chris has enough to do/people
> to look after without having to cajole her mother into taking her meds.
> Yet this doesn't look like a situation that can be put on the back
> burner either. Cute about GERD police tho!

The threshold to get temporary custody is very high. Also very expensive,
which Chris would have to bear the cost ( if she could prove her mother was
unsafe to herself or to others) and who would be the guardian ? Dealing
with a state appointed guardian is more difficult since they are volunteers
and not always available or willing to make decisions.
>
> Chris, my doc told me to buy a gentle wedge pillow. It starts inclining
> just above the waist & is about 6" high at its tallest. I put my
> regular down bed pillow on top of it. She said a pile of pillows is not
> the answer.
>
> This looks like my pillow:
> > Fig

You can also buy bedrisers
http://www.bedrisersales.com/index.html


Cheaper and cleaner. Use two for the head.
>>
> Lots of serious unresolved issues & now roles have changed & Chris is
> caring for her parents. They may all go to their graves without
> resolving, but sometimes very ill people want an opportunity to clear up
> such in a safe way, perhaps be forgiven, so they can have a clear
> conscience, This may or not be the situation with Chris' family.
>
> Fig

Excellent advice, but many families don't. I can remember here reading
about posters here who had a parent or sibling die and they were not part of
the equation. Sometimes the alternative is to move the person from their
life...like Dr. Laura would say about her mother, "She is not part of my
life anymore"
I don't think the internet is the best way to evaluate a situation as
complex as this.