On learning to be a care giver....

Just thought i'd post before i leave on Wednesday morning to stay with
my parents. I've posted before about my mother having cancer....well,
she is now in Hospice care at home and i've taken an LOA from work to
be with her and take care of her on a daily basis. My sister will also
help, but with three very small children, i'm just hoping that she
will be able to bring up the children to visit as the visits seem to
cheer up my mother so much. My husband has been beyond
supportive...and i'll be taking my dog, Maddie with me. I'm a little
nervous about taking care of her....while we've never been super close,
i love her very much. She seems so happy to see me now....hopefully if
i goof at something while taking care of her, she will still be as
happy, lol. It's a little odd to be thinking of myself as going to
take care of her; i guess i thought that i'd have her around so much
longer. My husband and i are in the process of an adoption and i had
hoped that she would be able to stay with me in TN to help. Such a sad
time for me as well as a happy time....i'm thrilled that i'm able to
stay with her and sad that it may
be much shorter than i want it to be.

I am hoping that hospice will help me with some tips....the only thing
i've ever taken care of has been pets. And while i'm really quite good
at that, lol, i have a feeling this will be lots different. I've gone
to the library and checked out some books, spoken to some folks who
work at the Sara Cannon Center here in Nashville but i have a feeling
this is going to be a huge learning experience for me that no book or
conversation can get me ready for. My dad isn't the
communication-type-of-guy, but i've put away my anger at him for now.
My anger isn't going to help anyone...most of all, not me or my Mother.
He does seem relieved/happy that i am coming, so that's a good start
for us.

I'm dragging my laptop with me, so i'll check in from time to time.
I'm not sure if it's just me but i've thought a lot about Penny and her
passing away the last few days and it's made me very, very sad. While
in my head i know she's in a so much better place...my heart aches for
her friends, her family and her grandchildren and most of all, Michael.
Penny had such grace....and i hope that i'll have that kind of grace
and kindness as i take care of my mother.

Take care of yourselves......

isabel

isabelaorosz@hotmail.com wrote:

> Just thought i'd post before i leave on Wednesday morning to stay with
> my parents. I've posted before about my mother having cancer....well,
> she is now in Hospice care at home and i've taken an LOA from work to
> be with her and take care of her on a daily basis. My sister will also
> help, but with three very small children<snip>
>
> I am hoping that hospice will help me with some tips....the only thing
> i've ever taken care of has been pets. And while i'm really quite good
> at that, lol, i have a feeling this will be lots different. I've gone
> to the library and checked out some books, spoken to some folks who
> work at the Sara Cannon Center here in Nashville but i have a feeling
> this is going to be a huge learning experience for me that no book or
> conversation can get me ready for. My dad isn't the
> communication-type-of-guy, but i've put away my anger at him for now.
> My anger isn't going to help anyone...most of all, not me or my Mother.
> He does seem relieved/happy that i am coming, so that's a good start
> for us.

So the time has come eh Isabel?
I'm sure you'll do fine with the help from hospice and your sister.

> I'm dragging my laptop with me, so i'll check in from time to time.

Good idea.

> I'm not sure if it's just me but i've thought a lot about Penny and her
> passing away the last few days and it's made me very, very sad. While
> in my head i know she's in a so much better place...my heart aches for
> her friends, her family and her grandchildren and most of all, Michael.
> Penny had such grace....and i hope that i'll have that kind of grace
> and kindness as i take care of my mother.

Yes, and yes, Michael's been on my mind as well.
I hope he has caring friends and loved ones for support.

You take care of you too, Isabel.
I'll be here watching out to hear from you.
My thoughts will be with you all.
Hugs
J

One thing I learned about being a care giver is that it is important to
take time out for *yourself*...as I didn't have someone to stay with me
after Ken got out of the hospital, my time was full time until about 3
or 4 months after his surgery when the 1st MRI's came back clear and I
could make short trips out (grocery store, for example.)

I'm lucky to still have my dad and my mother has many, many friends who
have offered to sit. I plan on waking up very early before my dad goes
to work to walk Maddie....

Thank you, Maryann for the tip....i'm one of those who "wants to do it
all by myself",
so i'll remember your words.

isabel




maryanne kehoe wrote:
> One thing I learned about being a care giver is that it is important to
> take time out for *yourself*...as I didn't have someone to stay with me
> after Ken got out of the hospital, my time was full time until about 3
> or 4 months after his surgery when the 1st MRI's came back clear and I
> could make short trips out (grocery store, for example.)

Thank you, J, for the kind words. I always find myself looking for
your posts....you always seem to have an insight or some words of
wisdom that i seem to overlook. I'm sure that i'll be here again
looking for your posts....

isabel




J wrote:
> isabelaorosz@hotmail.com wrote:
>
> > Just thought i'd post before i leave on Wednesday morning to stay with
> > my parents. I've posted before about my mother having cancer....well,
> > she is now in Hospice care at home and i've taken an LOA from work to
> > be with her and take care of her on a daily basis. My sister will also
> > help, but with three very small children<snip>
> >
> > I am hoping that hospice will help me with some tips....the only thing
> > i've ever taken care of has been pets. And while i'm really quite good
> > at that, lol, i have a feeling this will be lots different. I've gone
> > to the library and checked out some books, spoken to some folks who
> > work at the Sara Cannon Center here in Nashville but i have a feeling
> > this is going to be a huge learning experience for me that no book or
> > conversation can get me ready for. My dad isn't the
> > communication-type-of-guy, but i've put away my anger at him for now.
> > My anger isn't going to help anyone...most of all, not me or my Mother.
> > He does seem relieved/happy that i am coming, so that's a good start
> > for us.
>
> So the time has come eh Isabel?
> I'm sure you'll do fine with the help from hospice and your sister.
>
> > I'm dragging my laptop with me, so i'll check in from time to time.
>
> Good idea.
>
> > I'm not sure if it's just me but i've thought a lot about Penny and her
> > passing away the last few days and it's made me very, very sad. While
> > in my head i know she's in a so much better place...my heart aches for
> > her friends, her family and her grandchildren and most of all, Michael.
> > Penny had such grace....and i hope that i'll have that kind of grace
> > and kindness as i take care of my mother.
>
> Yes, and yes, Michael's been on my mind as well.
> I hope he has caring friends and loved ones for support.
>
> You take care of you too, Isabel.
> I'll be here watching out to hear from you.
> My thoughts will be with you all.
> Hugs
> J

maryanne kehoe wrote:

> One thing I learned about being a care giver is that it is important to
> take time out for *yourself*...as I didn't have someone to stay with me
> after Ken got out of the hospital, my time was full time until about 3
> or 4 months after his surgery when the 1st MRI's came back clear and I
> could make short trips out (grocery store, for example.)
>

In a previous life, when I had the enormous task of giving away dead
people's money to charities, we frequently funded respite care for those
giving care to Alzheimers patients. Contact one of the local cancer
charities or even your house of worship and find out if they have a
similar program. Someone who can spell you for a few hours while you
shop or even get a haircut and a pedicure, can make your life and his so
much easier.



--
Janet Wilder
Bad spelling. Bad punctuation
Good Friends. Good Life