my mum - update 1 year

I came into this newsgroup about a year ago with the devastating news of
my mum's diagnosis. The oncologist at the time only felt she had 2
months to live but since the question was never asked we didn't know at
the time. She defied all of that and battled the disease for over a year
going through radio and chemo. She often suffered in silence and never
ever complained. It was heart breaking for all of us watching her go
through what she did. Not only did she have lung cancer, but it also
spread to her liver and 4 weeks ago we discovered she had several
meningioma's (tumors) on the brain.

She passed away peacefully last sunday. The funeral still only a few
days ago seems so unreal i'm just in shock. Part of me still feels like
I should be going to the hospital to visit her like I did every day. The
emptyness in the house is strange, her clothes and things still in their
place as if they're waiting for her to come home. I don't think anyone
is ready to change things. All of this is going to take a long while for
it to sink in.

She was a wonderful mum, always always very caring. Showed enormous
concern over everyone she cared for. Truely a gentle and loving person.
I loved her and will miss her dearly.



ps. and thank you to those who expressed concern 1 year ago when I was
facing this crisis. While I didn't keep in touch, I do remember some
nice people in here who had kind thoughts & wishes.

"woods" <noreply@none.com> wrote in message
news:455ec707$0$17351$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.a u...
>I came into this newsgroup about a year ago with the devastating news of
> my mum's diagnosis. The oncologist at the time only felt she had 2
> months to live but since the question was never asked we didn't know at
> the time. She defied all of that and battled the disease for over a year
> going through radio and chemo. She often suffered in silence and never
> ever complained. It was heart breaking for all of us watching her go
> through what she did. Not only did she have lung cancer, but it also
> spread to her liver and 4 weeks ago we discovered she had several
> meningioma's (tumors) on the brain.
>
> She passed away peacefully last sunday. The funeral still only a few
> days ago seems so unreal i'm just in shock. Part of me still feels like
> I should be going to the hospital to visit her like I did every day. The
> emptyness in the house is strange, her clothes and things still in their
> place as if they're waiting for her to come home. I don't think anyone
> is ready to change things. All of this is going to take a long while for
> it to sink in.
>
> She was a wonderful mum, always always very caring. Showed enormous
> concern over everyone she cared for. Truely a gentle and loving person.
> I loved her and will miss her dearly.
>
>
>
> ps. and thank you to those who expressed concern 1 year ago when I was
> facing this crisis. While I didn't keep in touch, I do remember some
> nice people in here who had kind thoughts & wishes.

I'm very sorry to learn of the loss of your mum and appreciate the hole that
she will leave in your life. Take some comfort that she has finally found
peace and at some point in the future the memories evoked will bring smiles
rather than tears. We never fully lose our loved ones, they are always
there lurking in our memories and in our hearts.

Warm Hugs

Alayne

woods wrote:

> She passed away peacefully last sunday. The funeral still only a few
> days ago seems so unreal i'm just in shock. Part of me still feels like
> I should be going to the hospital to visit her like I did every day. The
> emptyness in the house is strange, her clothes and things still in their
> place as if they're waiting for her to come home. I don't think anyone
> is ready to change things. All of this is going to take a long while for
> it to sink in.
>
> She was a wonderful mum, always always very caring. Showed enormous
> concern over everyone she cared for. Truely a gentle and loving person.
> I loved her and will miss her dearly.
>
>
>
> ps. and thank you to those who expressed concern 1 year ago when I was
> facing this crisis. While I didn't keep in touch, I do remember some
> nice people in here who had kind thoughts & wishes.

Hello woods, I've thought of you often and wondered what happened.
I'm so pleased to read that you had your mother with you longer than
expected.
Yes, I know the emptyness feeling.
Take your time on decisions on what and when to clear out.
It helps with grieving and remembering the better times.
You're always "family" here, so please keep in touch and let us know how
you're all doing.
We can't solve problems but know that we'll be here caring.

My sympathy to you, your father and siblings on your loss.
J

I'm sooo sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like she was a wonderful
person who lived and died with grace.
Gail
"woods" <noreply@none.com> wrote in message
news:455ec707$0$17351$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.a u...
>I came into this newsgroup about a year ago with the devastating news of
> my mum's diagnosis. The oncologist at the time only felt she had 2
> months to live but since the question was never asked we didn't know at
> the time. She defied all of that and battled the disease for over a year
> going through radio and chemo. She often suffered in silence and never
> ever complained. It was heart breaking for all of us watching her go
> through what she did. Not only did she have lung cancer, but it also
> spread to her liver and 4 weeks ago we discovered she had several
> meningioma's (tumors) on the brain.
>
> She passed away peacefully last sunday. The funeral still only a few
> days ago seems so unreal i'm just in shock. Part of me still feels like
> I should be going to the hospital to visit her like I did every day. The
> emptyness in the house is strange, her clothes and things still in their
> place as if they're waiting for her to come home. I don't think anyone
> is ready to change things. All of this is going to take a long while for
> it to sink in.
>
> She was a wonderful mum, always always very caring. Showed enormous
> concern over everyone she cared for. Truely a gentle and loving person.
> I loved her and will miss her dearly.
>
>
>
> ps. and thank you to those who expressed concern 1 year ago when I was
> facing this crisis. While I didn't keep in touch, I do remember some
> nice people in here who had kind thoughts & wishes.

I'm so very sorry about the loss of your Mum. I know how brokenhearted
you and your family must be. I am taking care of my Mom as she is in
Hospice care at home...and you're right when you say how heartbreaking
it is watch her go thru what she did.

My thoughts and prayers are with you......and know that your Mum is
always in your heart.

isabel

On Nov 18, 2:40 am, woods <nore...@none.com> wrote:
> I came into this newsgroup about a year ago with the devastating news of
> my mum's diagnosis. The oncologist at the time only felt she had 2
> months to live but since the question was never asked we didn't know at
> the time. She defied all of that and battled the disease for over a year
> going through radio and chemo. She often suffered in silence and never
> ever complained. It was heart breaking for all of us watching her go
> through what she did. Not only did she have lung cancer, but it also
> spread to her liver and 4 weeks ago we discovered she had several
> meningioma's (tumors) on the brain.
>
> She passed away peacefully last sunday. The funeral still only a few
> days ago seems so unreal i'm just in shock. Part of me still feels like
> I should be going to the hospital to visit her like I did every day. The
> emptyness in the house is strange, her clothes and things still in their
> place as if they're waiting for her to come home. I don't think anyone
> is ready to change things. All of this is going to take a long while for
> it to sink in.
>
> She was a wonderful mum, always always very caring. Showed enormous
> concern over everyone she cared for. Truely a gentle and loving person.
> I loved her and will miss her dearly.
>
>
>
> ps. and thank you to those who expressed concern 1 year ago when I was
> facing this crisis. While I didn't keep in touch, I do remember some
> nice people in here who had kind thoughts & wishes.

woods <noreply@none.com> wrote in news:455ec707$0$17351$afc38c87
@news.optusnet.com.au:

> I came into this newsgroup about a year ago with the devastating news
of
> my mum's diagnosis. The oncologist at the time only felt she had 2
> months to live but since the question was never asked we didn't know at
> the time. She defied all of that and battled the disease for over a
year
> going through radio and chemo. She often suffered in silence and never
> ever complained. It was heart breaking for all of us watching her go
> through what she did. Not only did she have lung cancer, but it also
> spread to her liver and 4 weeks ago we discovered she had several
> meningioma's (tumors) on the brain.
>
> She passed away peacefully last sunday. The funeral still only a few
> days ago seems so unreal i'm just in shock. Part of me still feels like
> I should be going to the hospital to visit her like I did every day.
The
> emptyness in the house is strange, her clothes and things still in
their
> place as if they're waiting for her to come home. I don't think anyone
> is ready to change things. All of this is going to take a long while
for
> it to sink in.
>
> She was a wonderful mum, always always very caring. Showed enormous
> concern over everyone she cared for. Truely a gentle and loving person.
> I loved her and will miss her dearly.
>
>
>
> ps. and thank you to those who expressed concern 1 year ago when I was
> facing this crisis. While I didn't keep in touch, I do remember some
> nice people in here who had kind thoughts & wishes.
>
Hi, Woods,

I was wondering how things were going for you & your family. I am glad
you had some time with her.

It will probably take time for your new normal to set in. When we've
devoted so much care to someone who is no longer there, it takes some
readjusting. I'll be thinking of you & wishing you well. Please keep us
posted on how you're doing.

Hugs,
Fig

Figgertoes wrote:

> It will probably take time for your new normal to set in. When we've
> devoted so much care to someone who is no longer there, it takes some
> readjusting.

Ah, Fig, you are so right. It has been over a year and I still do not
have my life in order. There is such a void. Husband, lover, and
mostly best friend. We did everything together and never tired of each
others company. Such a void. I am getting out a bit more, but it is a
struggle every day. I am not naturally an extrovert, and maybe that
makes it even harder.

"turtletrot1" <turtletrot1@bellsouth.net> wrote in
news:1163945512.170864.26900@f16g2000cwb.googlegro ups.com:

>
> Figgertoes wrote:
>
>> It will probably take time for your new normal to set in. When we've
>> devoted so much care to someone who is no longer there, it takes some
>> readjusting.
>
> Ah, Fig, you are so right. It has been over a year and I still do not
> have my life in order. There is such a void. Husband, lover, and
> mostly best friend. We did everything together and never tired of each
> others company. Such a void. I am getting out a bit more, but it is a
> struggle every day. I am not naturally an extrovert, and maybe that
> makes it even harder.
>
>
I'm glad you're getting out more. There's a lot of world out there. I
hear if you like being around children, that can be a great way to get out
in the world & see things from a new perspective. That doesn't describe
me, but I have single friends who develop relationships with neighbor
children & take them out to plays & other places they might not experience
otherwise.

Fig

In article <1163945512.170864.26900@f16g2000cwb.googlegroups. com>,
"turtletrot1" <turtletrot1@bellsouth.net> wrote:

> Figgertoes wrote:
>
> > It will probably take time for your new normal to set in. When we've
> > devoted so much care to someone who is no longer there, it takes some
> > readjusting.
>
> Ah, Fig, you are so right. It has been over a year and I still do not
> have my life in order. There is such a void. Husband, lover, and
> mostly best friend. We did everything together and never tired of each
> others company. Such a void. I am getting out a bit more, but it is a
> struggle every day. I am not naturally an extrovert, and maybe that
> makes it even harder.

did you ever have any grief counselling?

i'm finding it hard to come to terms that i'll never see her again. it's
just very strange.

woods <noreply@none.com> wrote in news:45612207$0$11972$afc38c87
@news.optusnet.com.au:

> In article <1163945512.170864.26900@f16g2000cwb.googlegroups. com>,
> "turtletrot1" <turtletrot1@bellsouth.net> wrote:
>
>> Figgertoes wrote:
>>
>> > It will probably take time for your new normal to set in. When we've
>> > devoted so much care to someone who is no longer there, it takes some
>> > readjusting.
>>
>> Ah, Fig, you are so right. It has been over a year and I still do not
>> have my life in order. There is such a void. Husband, lover, and
>> mostly best friend. We did everything together and never tired of each
>> others company. Such a void. I am getting out a bit more, but it is a
>> struggle every day. I am not naturally an extrovert, and maybe that
>> makes it even harder.
>
> did you ever have any grief counselling?
>
> i'm finding it hard to come to terms that i'll never see her again. it's
> just very strange.
>
I went to one session & didn't care for it, but lots of people benefit.
The one I went to was through hospice but there are others that meet all
over the place - hospitals, churches. If there's somthing you need to talk
over, it would be worth your while to check them out.

Good luck to you,
Fig

Figgertoes said...
> I have single friends who develop relationships with neighbor
> children & take them out to plays & other places they might not experience
> otherwise.
>
Like when a film like Shrek or Shrek 2 comes out and you feel happier
going to the cinema to see it if you have a child in tow :-)

I'd be happy to lend one of my offspring to any adult who wants an
'excuse' to go and play on the swings :-)

--
Em

Emily <me@privacy.net> wrote in
news:MPG.1fcc4735ea7595a98c23b@news.individual.net :

> Figgertoes said...
>> I have single friends who develop relationships with neighbor
>> children & take them out to plays & other places they might not
>> experience otherwise.
>>
> Like when a film like Shrek or Shrek 2 comes out and you feel happier
> going to the cinema to see it if you have a child in tow :-)
>
> I'd be happy to lend one of my offspring to any adult who wants an
> 'excuse' to go and play on the swings :-)
>
Ha ha, maybe that's it. I know of one who took 2 girls to Lion King. I
don't need an excuse for that one. I remember enjoying taking my nephews
out for treat days & restaurant meals occasionally & don't remember any
complaints from my sister either.

Fig