Newby back again ... help

"J" <ercent@anon.inv> wrote in message
news:4557081F.8D2EBD22@execulink.com...
> Giuditta wrote:
>
>> "J" wrote in message
>> >
>> > Please be assured we'll be here for you as best we can.
>>
>> Thank you for the kind words. I was wondering also about the chemo
>> because
>> he has only had three days of it and already his stomach isn't hurting
>> and a
>> node has really shrunk to almost nothing. After he completes these rounds
>> of
>> chemo, and if the tumor returns, can he have chemo again.
>
> We'll have to see with time. One has to weigh the risks of chemo vs the
> benefits.
>
>> So far, he has no nausea at all but feels weak. Would this be from the
>> chemo
>> or would it mean the cancer isn't being helped by the chemo?
>
> Effects on your bone marrow usually begin around 7 to10 days after each
> treatment and return to normal between 21 and 28 days.
>
> When your white blood cell count is at its lowest you can feel very tired
> (fatigued). Some people also say they feel depressed . This can be really
> hard
> to deal with and make you wonder if you really want to go on with your
> treatment. From: http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/de...asp?page=12858
>
> I have to warn you that these same chemos can sometimes cause heart
> failure in
> some people.
> Fatigue can be a sign of that.
> (chemos affect the whole body, not just the cancer).
> The onc should be checking these things out.
> Your husband probably signed a disclaimer (of sorts) saying that he
> accepts the
> risks of treatments, but probably none of that really sank in, at the
> time.
> They're protected, in case something adverse happens to your husband.
>
> There should probably be grab-bars for the tub/shower and toilet area.
> And it might be best if he's told to wait to shower until one of the older
> kids
> is there, if you're not.
> If he's unusually fatigued, 1) contact the onc 2) you may want to rent a
> wheelchair or walker, for when you plan outings. You'll have to see how it
> goes. Don't buy anything until you check out what's available through the
> treatment centre or what your insurance will cover.
>
> See how it goes. Maybe he won't want to go anywhere for a while.
>
> The beginning is probably the worst, while the patient (and family)
> adjusts to
> the fatigue feeling and the onc monitors the blood counts and makes
> adjustments
> to the chemo dose, if required or notes anything else of concern.
> J


Thanks J. When he had all the coughing spasms last night, I could hear a lot
of fluid, which concerned me. I don't know whether he's coughing it all up
or whether it keeps manufacturing itself because of the tumor. The dr. said
the stent should help but that it might take a few weeks.

I just don't know what's normal for one with a lung tumor...

Thanks!
Giuditta

"OldBill" <Oldbill@splott.uk> wrote in message
news:ej5imb$t52$2@news.datemas.de...
>
> "Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in message
> news:QR85h.30$255.378@eagle.america.net...
>> I'm backkkk.....now I have more info from my husband's biopsy and his
>> trip to the oncologist. I'm trying to understand all that's going on, I'm
>> in shock but can't fall apart because I have to work every day. He has a
>> tumor in his lung, and it's fast-growing, which the dr. said responds
>> best to chemo. It was like he was saying if one has cancer, this is the
>> best one to get, kind of like an oxymoronic statement.
>>
>> So, then the dr. tells us that without chemo, he won't last but a few
>> weeks but with chemo he might have 10 to 12 months. I asked if he has
>> ever seen longer survivors or had miracle stories with this cancer, and
>> he said yes he has.
>>
> .
>> I'm a school teacher, so I'm very concerned about bringing home germs
>> from work. I immediately wash my clothes I wore and shower as soon as I
>> walk in the door.
>>
>
>>
>> I am praying for a miracle here too. I would appreciate any feedback
>> since this is all new to me, and you all seem so supportive and kind.
>>
>> Thank you!
>>
>> Giuditta
> If it gives you peace of mind, Giuditta, then do it.Peace of Mind is
> infectious, too,
> and it's therapeutic.
> Professor Candace B.Pert of Georgetown university School of Medicine
> wrote:
>
> "Recent technological innovations have allowed us to examine the
> molecular basis
> of our emotions, and to begin to understand how the molecules of our
> emotions
> share intimate connections with, and are indeed inseparable from, our
> physiology."
>
> (Molecules of
> Emotion, p. 18)
>
> You are praying ? Try to pray together, and try to feel they are answered
> when you come away.
> Live one day at a time, and with Joy and Gratitude. It can only make more
> of them.


Someone that must read this ng sent me an email about checking out something
called gumby gumby for cancer treatment. Are any of you familiar with that?

Giuditta

Giuditta wrote:

> Someone that must read this ng sent me an email about checking out something
> called gumby gumby for cancer treatment. Are any of you familiar with that?

People target desperate people with unproven products or "therapies".
Best ignore them.
J

Giuditta wrote:

> How did your husband beat the prognosis, if you don't mind me asking?

Her husband had a different type of lung cancer.
J

Giuditta wrote:

> Thanks J. When he had all the coughing spasms last night, I could hear a lot
> of fluid, which concerned me. I don't know whether he's coughing it all up
> or whether it keeps manufacturing itself because of the tumor. The dr. said
> the stent should help but that it might take a few weeks.
>
> I just don't know what's normal for one with a lung tumor...

Probably pleural effusions. http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/23069036/
We can't know how much fluid he had and now has.
If you feel it's getting worse, best call the onc's place and ask if he should
be brought in.
Sometimes they can drain some out.

I'll have to leave with you to decide what to do.
Hugs
J

from the webpage (above)
You may feel some chest pain but a pleural effusion is often painless. The
amount of fluid varies. As the effusion becomes larger, it presses on the lung
which cannot expand fully when you breathe. You may then become breathless.

You may also have symptoms of the condition that is causing the effusion. For
example, cough, and fever if the cause is pneumonia.
A large pleural effusion that makes you breathless can be drained. This is
usually done by inserting a needle or tube through the chest wall. A local
anaesthetic is injected into the skin and chest wall first to make the procedure
painless.

A major part of treatment is usually directed to the underlying cause of the
effusion. For example, antibiotics for pneumonia, chemotherapy or radiotherapy
for cancers, etc. Therefore, treatment can vary greatly, depending on the cause
of the effusion.

J <ercent@anon.inv> wrote in news:45575AE6.75AA654@execulink.com:

> Giuditta wrote:
>
>> How did your husband beat the prognosis, if you don't mind me asking?
>
> Her husband had a different type of lung cancer.
> J
>
Yes NSCLC. Still, no one knows why some do better than others, right?
Unless you get chemo resistance or similar? Penny SCLC did better than her
doctors predicted. Personally, I believe the mind & spirt play a role, but
no proof.

btw, Giuditta, 30 years deserves some sort of celebration. Does he
compose? Maybe ask for a love song? Even a silly one? Or get his band
into the act...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

Socks started posting as Socks the Whitehouse Cat (Clinton's cat). Got
shortened.

Fig

J <ercent@anon.inv> wrote in news:45575C60.9DD8BEF@execulink.com:

> Giuditta wrote:
>
>> Thanks J. When he had all the coughing spasms last night, I could
>> hear a lot of fluid, which concerned me. I don't know whether he's
>> coughing it all up or whether it keeps manufacturing itself because
>> of the tumor. The dr. said the stent should help but that it might
>> take a few weeks.
>>
>> I just don't know what's normal for one with a lung tumor...
>
> Probably pleural effusions. http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/23069036/
> We can't know how much fluid he had and now has.
> If you feel it's getting worse, best call the onc's place and ask if
> he should be brought in.
> Sometimes they can drain some out.
>
> I'll have to leave with you to decide what to do.
> Hugs
> J
>
> from the webpage (above)
> You may feel some chest pain but a pleural effusion is often painless.
> The amount of fluid varies. As the effusion becomes larger, it presses
> on the lung which cannot expand fully when you breathe. You may then
> become breathless.
>
> You may also have symptoms of the condition that is causing the
> effusion. For example, cough, and fever if the cause is pneumonia.
> A large pleural effusion that makes you breathless can be drained.
> This is usually done by inserting a needle or tube through the chest
> wall. A local anaesthetic is injected into the skin and chest wall
> first to make the procedure painless.
>
> A major part of treatment is usually directed to the underlying cause
> of the effusion. For example, antibiotics for pneumonia, chemotherapy
> or radiotherapy for cancers, etc. Therefore, treatment can vary
> greatly, depending on the cause of the effusion.
>
Maybe it varies by where the pleural effusion is located, but Socks' was
(I think) not IN the lung but in a cavity - so he couldn't cough it up.
His main symptom was shortness of breath & he looked gray/green, which is
what sent him to the doc for diagnosis. He thought he had bronchitis &
had self-medicated for that.

He had the draining several times & it was not as barbaric as it may
sound. Not painful. It was done by a pulminary doc. On diagnosis, they
drained over 2 liters & didn't get all. Once chemo kicked in, the pleural
effusion dried up, never to be seen again.

Fig

Best to be seen by a clinician every person is unique, that is why medicine
is based on science not Anecdotal information. As a teacher do you as lay
people on principles of education? As an educator ( I am guessing) that you
use well established educational principles.
Do you make educational decisions based on what parents of students you
never had in class tell you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anecdotal_evidence

Your symptoms could be a million different things. There are programs on the
internet where you can type in your symptoms and get suggested diagnosis.

When my kids were in school, and they both did very well in school. I
tried to establish relationships with the educators and "trusted" their
advice. If I have an issue I found another educator and sought their advice.
I didn't rely on anecdotal information to base educational decisions. Why
should medicine be any different.

I have never seen an" ultra clean environment" for someone on chemo ? I
would question who is giving you this ....It was another patient I believe I
read.

I would use the techniques you have used to be a successful educator, go to
the proper source. In your career you have developed relationships with
other educators for support and advice. Try to develop this within your
husband's medical team. There are support groups face to face and in person
where a qualified medical professional can help you sort out information,
for example you have stressed your self over this cleaning issue....you will
get plenty of unqualified information, the trick is to develop a credible
support system.

Best of luck with your husband,

Alex

"Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in message
news:_7x5h.101$255.645@eagle.america.net...
>
>
> Mississippi is more like a third world nation...they sue tobacco companies
> but don't do anything about smoking laws...what did I expect when they pay
> their teachers less than any other state also...
>


North Carolina is right down there with you, sweetie. I've gone back to
college and am still fighting the battle of the smoking areas. Why do some
smokers think I want their carcinogens? Back before I quit ten years ago, I
always obeyed smoking laws. Why can't some of the bums around here?

Pam S. disgruntled

"Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in message
news:Iix5h.103$255.409@eagle.america.net...
>
>
> Thank you so much. Actually, he seems pretty weak today, and I don't know
> if he will even feel like going to the gig tomorrow. I'm wondering of he's
> so weak from his chemo.
>
> One of our daughters is being like a little tyrant on this...she can't
> believe he'd even consider going out around people so soon after chemo.
> She's petrified of losing her dad...she's 25 and still lives at home, in
> college, and is hovering over him like a little mom. I appreciate her help
> so much because I have no choice, I have to work, in fact, two jobs
> teaching and at the newspaper, but I do want him to enjoy himself and
> music has always been his life...he misses it already.
>
> He believes he will beat this, and I am standing right by him on it. I
> pray he will become stronger where he can keep playing and have the best
> life he can have. None of us know when we'll leave this earth, so we
> should all live each day to the fullest don't you think?
>

May I suggest that you tell the daughter to either lighten up or pay for the
coffin? Sorry, but they need all the interests they can keep pre-cancer to
give them a reason to live. What instrument does your hubby play? Mine
wants to learn how to play bass guitar, and used to know how to play
(rudimentary) guitar. Right now he and our son are on their way to a music
store to buy a tuning bar for a cheepo guitar they picked up at a flea
market. I hope they find what they want.

I'm a substitute teacher here in North Carolina and going to school to get
my degree so that I can try to keep Rob (my hubby) in the style I'd like him
to experience. Rob has a form of brain cancer and any time he takes an
interest in anything we cheer around here.

Chemo can tire the patient out, though Rob found radiation more tiring. It
depends on so many factors, but if he wasn't tired out before, the odds are
good it's the chemo. Please give him a hug from this NC caregiver and all
the encouragement you can for him to do what he feels up to.

Pam S. with sympathy

"Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in message
news:8%E5h.110$255.622@eagle.america.net...
>
>
> Thanks for the ideas and encouragement. I think he'd enjoy seeing his
> friends, but we've been afraid for anyone to come over and bring a germ
> around. I'm just going to stop doing that. If he feels like going to the
> gig tonight, I'm gonna take him!
>

Girl, take him to and help him do anything he feels up to. You both need
it. If you coddle him to much, all he's going to do is become even more
depressed than cancer patients are prone to already. I found that out the
hard way.

> He's proud of our sons who play music, and I'm not going to let him leave
> this phase of life without seeing them play whenever possible. My
> God...enough is enough, right?
>

YES!!! That is the spirit. Love him, enjoy him, and help him enjoy all
that he can.

> And you know what??? Here's my philosophy on this and maybe some of you
> will disagree, but say he only has a few months left...I'm just
> saying...he has been smoking and around smoke almost all his life...isn't
> it a bit late to say, "Stay away from second-hand smoke."
>

We had a policy, so long as you weren't actively ill, come over and visit.
If you were actually sick, call instead.

> Isn't it a little late to say don't do anything? I think if he abides by
> all these stringent rules, he'll die from stress and boredom. He reads, he
> watches sports, CNN but doesn't watch movies because for some reason they
> don't have the same sound as a regular TV show does and with all his years
> with his head in amps and speakers, he can't hear worth a crap.
>

My hubby has the same problem to an extent because of working at an airfield
for 19+ years for the army. What he actually has is a hole in his hearing.
Mid tones are terrible for him. Unfortunately, my voice is right in the
middle of his range, or so he claims.

> Thank God he loves watching college football and every other sport there
> is because there's plenty of that on tv right now...Most the time he lays
> there on the couch and falls asleep though. Would that be from the chemo
> or from the cancer? He was up a lot last night coughing and it tore my
> heart out to see him so miserable. Does the coughing ever get less?
>

That could be from either one. Chemo did make Rob tired, but he didn't have
the same cancer, and those who are or have dealt with the chemos from lung
cancer can best answer that question. It might be a good idea to write
these questions down and ask the oncologist. I'd type mine up and hand the
sheet to the doctor along with something humorous, and he'd answer them for
me and mail the answers back to me if they were involved. I really love the
guy, he's been great.

> Tomorrow will be our 30-year wedding anniversary, which he will spend
> having an MRI, and I will spend at work. It makes me sad when I'm
> wallowing in self pity to think he might not be here for another
> one...it's not like we celebrate it because he's always been on the road
> for those occasions, but still ...
>

Girl, Rob and I have been married 22 years. We're already planning our 25th
and to be with his parents when they have their 50th in four years. Plans
really do help, both in time takers and in morale. He needs to feel that
you know that he'll kick this too, even if you know he won't. Miracles have
occurred.

> Well, have I depressed you guys enough yet this morning because if not I
> can do better, trust me on that...
>
> God, I'm beginning to feel like you're my family here...and I don't even
> know you, not really.
>

Cancer makes for some strange bedfellows, doesn't it? I think of this group
as one of my families as everyone here is not only supportive but willing to
overlook my bouts of depression and negativity and help me with the
practical parts of dealing with cancer.

I'll be honest, the only person I'd known with cancer before Rob was
diagnosed was my Grandmother who died from metasized intestinal cancer back
when I was nine or so. We weren't allowed to see her after she got sick, so
I really didn't know about cancer. I know a lot of people with cancer now
and they are some pretty awesome secondary family.

Pam S. who also has a third family in the cat community

"Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in message
news:Tmx5h.104$255.594@eagle.america.net...
>
>
> Thanks Betsy! That's what I so want to do because my hubby loves a real
> tree. He's from Oregon where they usually ship the trees from to around
> here, and it gives him a good feeling having an Oregon Christmas tree.
>
> He's such a good, kind man, and it's really hard seeing him weak like
> this. Three weeks ago he was fine. Sometimes I'm okay and then about 2
> p.m. I get a sinking spell and just feel like crying...I want so much to
> turn the clock back or wake up and find I'm in some horrid nightmare.
>

Welcome to the club. I'm from Washington State originally and Rob is from
Idaho. We understand the desire for a good Douglas fir to celebrate the
season with. We do use an artificial tree because we have cats who think
that they are supposed to climb all natural trees, and a d*g who likes to
chase them up trees. Go get the perfect tree and enjoy decorating it with
all the memories you can.

I think all caregivers go through the doldrums like you are doing.
Sometimes I'll be doing something mundane and all of a sudden I'll remember
something stupid like how Rob used to do math in his head that I had to use
a calculator on and that he can't do anything of the sort anymore or some
other loss that we're both adjusting to and I'll start crying. So far Rob
hasn't caught me, and I hope he never does. He knows and understands my
nightmares about him abandoning me with a pack of small kids (my baby is 19)
and assures me that he'll never leave me. I haven't told him that I know
the abandonment I'm afraid of, though I suspect that he also knows I'm
afraid of him dying.

Now that I've depressed you. I want you to know that there are rewards too.
Rob and I are closer than we were before his cancer, and talk more openly
about most subjects. We're more relaxed about life as well and more
determined to enjoy the time we have together. I'm sad that it took his
cancer to do this, but grateful that it has.

Girl, we are your other family. We're here for you and know that you'll be
here for us when we have need of your strength.

Pam S. BTDT

"Figgertoes" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:Xns987998A2258Dfiggertoes@216.168.3.44...
>
> It's probably warmer there, but it gets plenty chilly here & Socks was
> sometimes more cold-natured than before. I found him some non-binding
> fleece booties he could wear in bed & for padding around & he wore those
> constantly. They also fit into his house slippers. Also had some down
> throws around for snoggling up in & a warming pad for his chair & car.
> Not that you need to buy all that stuff, but the chemo &/or weight loss
> could cause him to be chillier than usual.
>
> And i can sure relate to the 3 weeks ago everything was normal part.
> Suddenly it feels like a trap door opened & you fell in - or down the
> rabbit hatch where it's a different world.
>

Personally, I think her oncologist needs to get real.

Rob has cold issues too, but he takes care of most of them with sweatshirts
and pants, and I keep finding all sorts of hats so that his bolts don't get
cold. He has 12 bolts in his head from the two titanium plates they put in
when they operated. They get chilled in cold or breezy weather. It's a
good thing that Rob is used to wearing hats. We're up to four Santa hats,
an Aussie bush hat, various baseball caps, and I'm looking at getting him
more stocking hats and maybe a cowboy hat. He wears the Santa hats and
stocking hats to bed to help keep his head warm. Whatever works, right?

Pam S.

"Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in message
news:JqF5h.112$255.680@eagle.america.net...
>
>
> I think you're right about her not reading this...some of it will scare
> her. The onc. did say no fresh fruit...how can a peeled apple hurt or
> banana?
>
> What about this cough? Poor guy...it's really seeming to get worse. Does
> the chemo make the cough worse or better? He had a stent put in his lung
> last week...he's coughed so much this morning that he's exhausted...
>
> What's up with that?
>

I can't help you on the fresh fruit. All our oncologists and neurologists
have told us is not to have visitors over who have diseases or infections.
Maybe if you wash the apple before you peel it?

About the cough, you might want to talk to his dr about that. Rob developed
a cough after a bout of strep throat (my fault, I fear) and still has it.
His doctors don't think it is that serious. I don't like it.

Pam S.

"Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in message
news:tHx5h.107$255.494@eagle.america.net...
>
>
> I get sad, I get angry, I wallow in self pity...I am actually a mess right
> now and this isn't even about me, so then I feel guilty about that. My
> husband is the one suffering, and sometimes I think he feels he has to
> keep me positive and strong...how lame is that of me? Very!
>

Aren't you married to him? Isn't he a part of your life as you are a part
of his? If the answer to either/both question is yes, then it is about you
too. The changes in his life affect you and you are looking at the future
and all its possibilities. Go ahead feel the emotions, but don't count
yourself out. He may feel as if he has to be strong for you, but you'll be
strong for him when he needs you to be. Hang in there, sweetie, you'll make
it through the storm and find sunshine on the other side. You just don't
know how long the storm will last.

Pam S. going through the storm too

I wish your husband, you and your family all the best in this journey. I
know the rollercoaster ride all too well and the swell of emotions,
questions and uncertainty that go with it.

Penny is my sister and if you have started reading her blog, what you'll
find is someone who maintained so much positivity, found joy in all the
little things that life offers and made laughter a must. She was
determined to keep living life to the fullest she possibily could for as
long as she could. I truly believe it was her outlook that extended her
life beyond the time frames she was given by the doctors.

There are many wonderful people on the news group here that also contributed
a great deal in helping her through it.....from offering advice that was
straightforward and not sugar coated which she valued a great deal to
building loving friendships that she treasured. You've definitely come to
the right place for support.

God bless and take care.
Trish

"tanada" <tanada@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:0AN5h.5578$0r.2977@newsread1.news.pas.earthli nk.net...
>
> "Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in message
> news:8%E5h.110$255.622@eagle.america.net...
>>
>>
>> Thanks for the ideas and encouragement. I think he'd enjoy seeing his
>> friends, but we've been afraid for anyone to come over and bring a germ
>> around. I'm just going to stop doing that. If he feels like going to the
>> gig tonight, I'm gonna take him!
>>
>
> Girl, take him to and help him do anything he feels up to. You both need
> it. If you coddle him to much, all he's going to do is become even more
> depressed than cancer patients are prone to already. I found that out the
> hard way.
>
>> He's proud of our sons who play music, and I'm not going to let him leave
>> this phase of life without seeing them play whenever possible. My
>> God...enough is enough, right?
>>
>
> YES!!! That is the spirit. Love him, enjoy him, and help him enjoy all
> that he can.
>
>> And you know what??? Here's my philosophy on this and maybe some of you
>> will disagree, but say he only has a few months left...I'm just
>> saying...he has been smoking and around smoke almost all his life...isn't
>> it a bit late to say, "Stay away from second-hand smoke."
>>
>
> We had a policy, so long as you weren't actively ill, come over and visit.
> If you were actually sick, call instead.
>
>> Isn't it a little late to say don't do anything? I think if he abides by
>> all these stringent rules, he'll die from stress and boredom. He reads,
>> he watches sports, CNN but doesn't watch movies because for some reason
>> they don't have the same sound as a regular TV show does and with all his
>> years with his head in amps and speakers, he can't hear worth a crap.
>>
>
> My hubby has the same problem to an extent because of working at an
> airfield for 19+ years for the army. What he actually has is a hole in
> his hearing. Mid tones are terrible for him. Unfortunately, my voice is
> right in the middle of his range, or so he claims.
>
>> Thank God he loves watching college football and every other sport there
>> is because there's plenty of that on tv right now...Most the time he lays
>> there on the couch and falls asleep though. Would that be from the chemo
>> or from the cancer? He was up a lot last night coughing and it tore my
>> heart out to see him so miserable. Does the coughing ever get less?
>>
>
> That could be from either one. Chemo did make Rob tired, but he didn't
> have the same cancer, and those who are or have dealt with the chemos from
> lung cancer can best answer that question. It might be a good idea to
> write these questions down and ask the oncologist. I'd type mine up and
> hand the sheet to the doctor along with something humorous, and he'd
> answer them for me and mail the answers back to me if they were involved.
> I really love the guy, he's been great.
>
>> Tomorrow will be our 30-year wedding anniversary, which he will spend
>> having an MRI, and I will spend at work. It makes me sad when I'm
>> wallowing in self pity to think he might not be here for another
>> one...it's not like we celebrate it because he's always been on the road
>> for those occasions, but still ...
>>
>
> Girl, Rob and I have been married 22 years. We're already planning our
> 25th and to be with his parents when they have their 50th in four years.
> Plans really do help, both in time takers and in morale. He needs to feel
> that you know that he'll kick this too, even if you know he won't.
> Miracles have occurred.
>
>> Well, have I depressed you guys enough yet this morning because if not I
>> can do better, trust me on that...
>>
>> God, I'm beginning to feel like you're my family here...and I don't even
>> know you, not really.
>>
>
> Cancer makes for some strange bedfellows, doesn't it? I think of this
> group as one of my families as everyone here is not only supportive but
> willing to overlook my bouts of depression and negativity and help me with
> the practical parts of dealing with cancer.
>
> I'll be honest, the only person I'd known with cancer before Rob was
> diagnosed was my Grandmother who died from metasized intestinal cancer
> back when I was nine or so. We weren't allowed to see her after she got
> sick, so I really didn't know about cancer. I know a lot of people with
> cancer now and they are some pretty awesome secondary family.
>
> Pam S. who also has a third family in the cat community


Thanks for all the feedback! You know what? I do believe he'll beat this ...
I'm standing in faith with him. Is Rob your husband? When was he diagnosed
and what kind does he have if you don't mind me asking? It's so weird
now...it seems that I have a million aches and pains myself now...it's my
stomach and then my back and then I'm saying, "Oh hell, I have cancer too."
Am I just losing my mind???

Peace Out!
Giuditta

PS
We didn't go to the gig...he's too weak. But he did eat dinner, well, part
of it, which is good since he wasn't hungry.

"tanada" <tanada@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:7lN5h.6270$ig4.6235@newsread2.news.pas.earthl ink.net...
>
> "Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in message
> news:Iix5h.103$255.409@eagle.america.net...
>>
>>
>> Thank you so much. Actually, he seems pretty weak today, and I don't know
>> if he will even feel like going to the gig tomorrow. I'm wondering of
>> he's so weak from his chemo.
>>
>> One of our daughters is being like a little tyrant on this...she can't
>> believe he'd even consider going out around people so soon after chemo.
>> She's petrified of losing her dad...she's 25 and still lives at home, in
>> college, and is hovering over him like a little mom. I appreciate her
>> help so much because I have no choice, I have to work, in fact, two jobs
>> teaching and at the newspaper, but I do want him to enjoy himself and
>> music has always been his life...he misses it already.
>>
>> He believes he will beat this, and I am standing right by him on it. I
>> pray he will become stronger where he can keep playing and have the best
>> life he can have. None of us know when we'll leave this earth, so we
>> should all live each day to the fullest don't you think?
>>
>
> May I suggest that you tell the daughter to either lighten up or pay for
> the coffin? Sorry, but they need all the interests they can keep
> pre-cancer to give them a reason to live. What instrument does your hubby
> play? Mine wants to learn how to play bass guitar, and used to know how
> to play (rudimentary) guitar. Right now he and our son are on their way
> to a music store to buy a tuning bar for a cheepo guitar they picked up at
> a flea market. I hope they find what they want.
>
> I'm a substitute teacher here in North Carolina and going to school to get
> my degree so that I can try to keep Rob (my hubby) in the style I'd like
> him to experience. Rob has a form of brain cancer and any time he takes
> an interest in anything we cheer around here.
>
> Chemo can tire the patient out, though Rob found radiation more tiring.
> It depends on so many factors, but if he wasn't tired out before, the odds
> are good it's the chemo. Please give him a hug from this NC caregiver and
> all the encouragement you can for him to do what he feels up to.
>
> Pam S. with sympathy
Thanks for your kind post, Pam. Actually, this has been a good thing for my
daughter because she has an incurable disease (not contagious) called
hidradenitis (HS), and this has given her someone to take care of when she
accustomed to us taking care of her. She's getting her mind off herself and
really stepping up to help me, so I'm not going to nag her, but sje does
know what her dad's job is and how much it means to him because she's lived
it, been to concerts, seen the magic of the music...our son playing the gig
tonight for my hubby was raised on the stage of the Opry House in Nashville,
the Hee Haw set and other gigs...they know that most musicians have to be
really sick to miss a gig, in fact, this week's gigs are the first my
husband has ever missed since he was 14. He's a drummer and has played with
broken ankles, which is hard since both feet are moving constantly on a kick
drum and high hat cymbal...he played last week, and I don't know how he did
it...

All three of our sons are drummers but the 17-year-old plays all other
instruments too plus sings whereas my hubby and other son mainly sing back
up harmonies when they play.

I understand where you're coming from about going back to college...I did
that too at age 36 and had six kids still at home and a husband on the road.
I knew how unstable the music business was, like if a "star" takes off a
month or two, the band is left hanging with no job, but then they might have
a 38-day tour after that on USO gigs or whatever...it's up and down. I'm
really glad I finished school now and have a stable job because we would be
up a creek right now if I didn't.

You sure live in a beautiful state. Years ago I lived in Greenville, NC,
and I remember driving back to Nashville and how beautiful the trees were in
the fall. I had a friend back then that lives in Greensboro. Her dad owns
some hosery factory there and they live on some golf course. But that was
like a million years ago it seems...

Well, it's been nice chatting, getting my mind off doom and gloom...one
thing about my husband is that he rarely gets down and out...he has a happy
disposition and is very kind and gentle...

Tell your son good luck with his guitar...my son plays guitar and drums,
keyboard and bass...but he taught himself. Tell him not to give up on
it...an acoustic is best to learn on...they say...but he can get an electric
acoustic as well...the strings aren't quite as hard so he can get his
fingers accustomed to them...

Have a blessed week. I am praying for you a miracle too and everyone on
here...this is the most kind, compassionate group of folks ... it does the
heart good to talk and then read the great advice.

Peace Out!
Giuditta

"tanada" <tanada@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:uMN5h.6272$ig4.4924@newsread2.news.pas.earthl ink.net...
>
> "Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in message
> news:Tmx5h.104$255.594@eagle.america.net...
>>
>>
>> Thanks Betsy! That's what I so want to do because my hubby loves a real
>> tree. He's from Oregon where they usually ship the trees from to around
>> here, and it gives him a good feeling having an Oregon Christmas tree.
>>
>> He's such a good, kind man, and it's really hard seeing him weak like
>> this. Three weeks ago he was fine. Sometimes I'm okay and then about 2
>> p.m. I get a sinking spell and just feel like crying...I want so much to
>> turn the clock back or wake up and find I'm in some horrid nightmare.
>>
>
> Welcome to the club. I'm from Washington State originally and Rob is from
> Idaho. We understand the desire for a good Douglas fir to celebrate the
> season with. We do use an artificial tree because we have cats who think
> that they are supposed to climb all natural trees, and a d*g who likes to
> chase them up trees. Go get the perfect tree and enjoy decorating it with
> all the memories you can.
>
> I think all caregivers go through the doldrums like you are doing.
> Sometimes I'll be doing something mundane and all of a sudden I'll
> remember something stupid like how Rob used to do math in his head that I
> had to use a calculator on and that he can't do anything of the sort
> anymore or some other loss that we're both adjusting to and I'll start
> crying. So far Rob hasn't caught me, and I hope he never does. He knows
> and understands my nightmares about him abandoning me with a pack of small
> kids (my baby is 19) and assures me that he'll never leave me. I haven't
> told him that I know the abandonment I'm afraid of, though I suspect that
> he also knows I'm afraid of him dying.
>
> Now that I've depressed you. I want you to know that there are rewards
> too. Rob and I are closer than we were before his cancer, and talk more
> openly about most subjects. We're more relaxed about life as well and
> more determined to enjoy the time we have together. I'm sad that it took
> his cancer to do this, but grateful that it has.
>
> Girl, we are your other family. We're here for you and know that you'll
> be here for us when we have need of your strength.
>
> Pam S. BTDT


Pam,

Sometimes I don't know who I'm responding to, but think this is Pam
although I started out on this post with Betty...

Fear ... I hate fear almost as much as I hate Hitler. I really detest those
down times too...and mine are always at 2 p.m. or 2:30 when I'm in school in
front of my class...it's like something just hits me and I feel like all
this anxiety...and sadness and fear...

My parents are both deceased, so when having a pity party, I think, "God, if
I lose my husband, I'm an orphan and a widow." I hate that you have these
moments too, but at least I don't feel quite as crazy. I guess misery really
does love company. My dr. gave me xanex, and I don't want a crutch, but that
crutch has come in very handy lately...

Guess what else this dumbass did ... I went out on our balcony, which I
refer to as my cruise ship and smoked cigarettes like a crazy person...I'm
stressed, so I smoked cigarettes because my husband has lung cancer. You
see, teachers aren't so smart are they...not this one.

I think I'm becoming a hypochondriac too...my stomach aches really
bad...right where my hubby's was hurting and of course I felt a knot
there...writers have wild imaginations too...I have started a journal on all
this and have been reading a lot of Hunter S. Thompson because he's about as
crazy as I feel right now and that's why I love him, but he killed
himself...and he didn't even have cancer...

these people in People magazine who are celebs with all this money and their
health you read about...getting divorces, anorexia, etc., I wonder what the
hell do they have to be so screwed up about...do they just not have any real
problems?

I guess I have rambled enough now...you guys will be pointing me in the
direction of the looney bin newsgroup but please don't...you've let me
rattle on about nothing tonight...

Maybe I should just go watch Desparate Housewives or even a smarter choice,
grade a load of papers in my schoolbag...

Thanks for letting me show my confused emotions...again ... I am so glad I
found you guys!

Peace Out!
Giuditta

"betsyb" <betsy958@TRASHoptonline.net> wrote in message
news:ej79pb0f7i@news4.newsguy.com...
>
>
> --
>
> BetsyB
>
> "J" <ercent@anon.inv> wrote in message
> news:4556FC6C.68FFC052@execulink.com...
>> betsyb wrote:
>>
>>> I have just finished 2 rounds of Chemo and 38 days of Radiation
>>
>> Hi Betsy,
>> The first times (rounds) of chemo, were you very fatigued?
>> J
>>
> You bet your butt! Every time. The coughing does subside after a bit. The
> tired feeling does get better. Do I have as much energy as before? Nope
> and I really don't care. I have read no articles of homes being broken
> into to steal dust and some clutter. I get there when I feel the mood kick
> me in the butt!
> HTH,
> Betsy

I love your mind-set!

G

"Figgertoes" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:Xns98794D0A4F198figgertoes@216.168.3.44...
> "Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in news:RFF5h.116$255.666
> @eagle.america.net:
>
>>
>> "Figgertoes" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
>> news:Xns98784E7AF2804figgertoes@216.168.3.44...
>>> "Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in
>>> news:LHj5h.82$255.117@eagle.america.net:
>>>
>>> My DH initially had a 6-18 month prognoisis & lived over 4 years. Penny
>>> (SCLC) was cautioned not to schedule a trip for January (docs thought
>>> that would be her time) but took several long trips later & lived until
>>> October. Others go faster than expected. We tend to hear from more
>>> longer-term survivors here than the norm, I'd guess, just because they
>>> are healthy enough to post.
>>>
>>> Thinking of you & wishing you & your family all the best,
>>> Fig
>>
>> How did your husband beat the prognosis, if you don't mind me asking?
>>
>> Giuditta
>>
> There's no way to know. He still fell within the norms, just near the
> outer limits.
>
> He had a strong desire to live & remained extremely involved in life,
> continued to contribute. Penny was similar. Whether or not that
> contributed to longevity - who knows?
>
> I know you want answers so you can DO something, but there just aren't
> any.
>
> Fig

What type of cancer does your hubby have? Is it in an isolated area or had
it mets to the liver, etc.? Is he still living? Is Penny related to you
also? I've been reading her blog and feel like I know her. It's weird, but
my husband lived in the same place as Penny before I met him when he moved
down to Nashville for country music gigs. Calgary, Alberta, right?

I received an email from someone that I assume reads this newsgroup, and he
was telling me to buy something called gumby gumby. Is that just someone
trying to sell something online. He didn't really ask me to buy any from him
but said he had it and only charged postage. My cousin has prostrate cancer
and went to Mexico for some new treatment there, but it cost him $20,000. I
don't know of it helped him or not...I heard this through the
grapevine...weird side of the family who don't even want anyone to know he
has cancer...

You're right...I am looking for answers and there aren't any just like you
said...I'm scared and want to mainly know if my hubby's weakness is from the
chemo...he just looks so weak in his eyes...dark circles under them
also...he didn't feel strong enough to attend the gig tonight, so I know
he's weak. Should I notify his onc about the weakness...If he's asleep, I am
finding myself looking at his chest to make sure he's still breathing...am I
getting morbid? I'm afraid when I do these things that it means I don't have
faith in God that he will be okay...I'm just a mess, and this whole thing is
not even about me, but I seem to be making it about me...geeezzz...I feel so
selfish.

Peace,

Giuditta

"J" <ercent@anon.inv> wrote in message
news:45575AE6.75AA654@execulink.com...
> Giuditta wrote:
>
>> How did your husband beat the prognosis, if you don't mind me asking?
>
> Her husband had a different type of lung cancer.
> J

What type?

G

Giuditta wrote:

> "J" <ercent@anon.inv> wrote in message
> > Giuditta wrote:
> >
> >> How did your husband beat the prognosis, if you don't mind me asking?
> >
> > Her husband had a different type of lung cancer.
> > J
>
> What type?

NSCLC (non small cell lung cancer)
It's treated with surgery, if possible and radiation therapy, if possible
and adjuvant chemotherapy.
I think that's the type that Betsy had (has).
J

"Figgertoes" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:Xns98797580536A8figgertoes@216.168.3.44...
>J <ercent@anon.inv> wrote in news:45575AE6.75AA654@execulink.com:
>
>> Giuditta wrote:
>>
>>> How did your husband beat the prognosis, if you don't mind me asking?
>>
>> Her husband had a different type of lung cancer.
>> J
>>
> Yes NSCLC. Still, no one knows why some do better than others, right?
> Unless you get chemo resistance or similar? Penny SCLC did better than
> her
> doctors predicted. Personally, I believe the mind & spirt play a role, but
> no proof.
>
> btw, Giuditta, 30 years deserves some sort of celebration. Does he
> compose? Maybe ask for a love song? Even a silly one? Or get his band
> into the act...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!
>
> Socks started posting as Socks the Whitehouse Cat (Clinton's cat). Got
> shortened.
>
> Fig

I don't think he feels much like composing a song right now, but that's
okay. He is usually out of town and sends me roses to school, which he might
have asked the kids to do for him...but he needn't do that...we are on a
strict budget right now since he's not playing...very strict. I thought
about making him a big long sign that says Happy Anniversary and letting my
students draw on it and write him Get Well notes on it also. I think he'd
like that. Kids write "the darndest things"...

He could get our 17-yr.-old to help him put some lyrics to music I guess,
but he's just so weak...I told him tonight that we'd do something special
when he feels better...we always say that when he's out of town but never
get around to it...I feel like every day is an anniversary with him
anyway...we don't need just one day for it...he's the love of my
life...heck, we barely even had time to get married 30 years ago...he played
a concert in Jackson, MS and then came to Memphis where Elvis's aunt married
us because she was a minister, and EP bought her some land and put a church
on it for her...the day after we married my hubby got on the band bus and
headed for Arizona...it's been a crazy life...so you see, we've always had
to celebrate birthdays, etc. on other days...I had our daughter when he was
on the way home from Dallas...He came into the hospital just as I was being
wheeled out of the recovery room from a C-section so we were able to see the
baby together for the first time in the nursery...that was an intimate
time...there are so many of those.

Is Socks a Clinton fan? Dumb question huh?

Peace Out!

Giuditta

"tanada" <tanada@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:qTN5h.6276$ig4.169@newsread2.news.pas.earthli nk.net...
>
> "Figgertoes" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
> news:Xns987998A2258Dfiggertoes@216.168.3.44...
>>
>> It's probably warmer there, but it gets plenty chilly here & Socks was
>> sometimes more cold-natured than before. I found him some non-binding
>> fleece booties he could wear in bed & for padding around & he wore those
>> constantly. They also fit into his house slippers. Also had some down
>> throws around for snoggling up in & a warming pad for his chair & car.
>> Not that you need to buy all that stuff, but the chemo &/or weight loss
>> could cause him to be chillier than usual.
>>
>> And i can sure relate to the 3 weeks ago everything was normal part.
>> Suddenly it feels like a trap door opened & you fell in - or down the
>> rabbit hatch where it's a different world.
>>
>
> Personally, I think her oncologist needs to get real.
>
> Rob has cold issues too, but he takes care of most of them with
> sweatshirts and pants, and I keep finding all sorts of hats so that his
> bolts don't get cold. He has 12 bolts in his head from the two titanium
> plates they put in when they operated. They get chilled in cold or breezy
> weather. It's a good thing that Rob is used to wearing hats. We're up to
> four Santa hats, an Aussie bush hat, various baseball caps, and I'm
> looking at getting him more stocking hats and maybe a cowboy hat. He
> wears the Santa hats and stocking hats to bed to help keep his head warm.
> Whatever works, right?
>
> Pam S.



Hats! Great idea. I have always heard if a person's head and feet are warm
that the rest of the body will stay warm. He used to wear cowboy hats a lot,
but I don't know if one wold keep his head warm enough. My niece said she
was getting him a do-rag like Willie wears...I can get him a tobaggan
also...

Are ya'll referring to my hubby's oncologist? I understand. I am going to
give him a call tomorrow...to ask more questions...I was wondering as far as
his cough goes that's keeping him up most the night...would a strong cough
syrup help him or should he not take that...I mean, does he need to be
coughing up stuff or stiffling the cough? The dr. ordered him Tussin, but my
husband seemed to think the Robitussin was working well enough, but it
isn't...the tussin is very expensive, but we'll buy it if it will help him
more or should I ask for a less expensive one that works just as well as the
tussin? I think if we could get the cough under control, he cold get more
rest and feel much better.

What do you think?

G

"J" <ercent@anon.inv> wrote in message
news:45575C60.9DD8BEF@execulink.com...
> Giuditta wrote:
>
>> Thanks J. When he had all the coughing spasms last night, I could hear a
>> lot
>> of fluid, which concerned me. I don't know whether he's coughing it all
>> up
>> or whether it keeps manufacturing itself because of the tumor. The dr.
>> said
>> the stent should help but that it might take a few weeks.
>>
>> I just don't know what's normal for one with a lung tumor...
>
> Probably pleural effusions. http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/23069036/
> We can't know how much fluid he had and now has.
> If you feel it's getting worse, best call the onc's place and ask if he
> should
> be brought in.
> Sometimes they can drain some out.
>
> I'll have to leave with you to decide what to do.
> Hugs
> J
>
> from the webpage (above)
> You may feel some chest pain but a pleural effusion is often painless. The
> amount of fluid varies. As the effusion becomes larger, it presses on the
> lung
> which cannot expand fully when you breathe. You may then become
> breathless.
>
> You may also have symptoms of the condition that is causing the effusion.
> For
> example, cough, and fever if the cause is pneumonia.
> A large pleural effusion that makes you breathless can be drained. This is
> usually done by inserting a needle or tube through the chest wall. A local
> anaesthetic is injected into the skin and chest wall first to make the
> procedure
> painless.
>
> A major part of treatment is usually directed to the underlying cause of
> the
> effusion. For example, antibiotics for pneumonia, chemotherapy or
> radiotherapy
> for cancers, etc. Therefore, treatment can vary greatly, depending on the
> cause
> of the effusion.

This is all so Greek to me. I don't understand effusion, but I do get how
the dr. can drain fluid, which I think my hubby would welcome right
now...I'll ask about that.

Thanks again!
G

"tanada" <tanada@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:cYN5h.6277$ig4.3127@newsread2.news.pas.earthl ink.net...
>
> "Giuditta" <jmarrs@myspeedworks.com> wrote in message
> news:JqF5h.112$255.680@eagle.america.net...
>>
>>
>> I think you're right about her not reading this...some of it will scare
>> her. The onc. did say no fresh fruit...how can a peeled apple hurt or
>> banana?
>>
>> What about this cough? Poor guy...it's really seeming to get worse. Does
>> the chemo make the cough worse or better? He had a stent put in his lung
>> last week...he's coughed so much this morning that he's exhausted...
>>
>> What's up with that?
>>
>
> I can't help you on the fresh fruit. All our oncologists and neurologists
> have told us is not to have visitors over who have diseases or infections.
> Maybe if you wash the apple before you peel it?
>
> About the cough, you might want to talk to his dr about that. Rob
> developed a cough after a bout of strep throat (my fault, I fear) and
> still has it. His doctors don't think it is that serious. I don't like
> it.
>
> Pam S.


They don't think it's that serious because it's not them hacking all night
not getting any rest. I'm calling the onc tomorrow from school...

Thanks!
G