there was a brown earthenware sink, common to several rooms. He
remembered his mother's statuesque body bending over the gas ring to stir
at something in a saucepan. Above all he remembered his continuous hunger,
and the fierce sordid battles at mealtimes. He would ask his mother
naggingly, over and over again, why there was not more food, he would shout
and storm at her (he even remembered the tones of his voice, which was
beginning to break prematurely and sometimes boomed in a peculiar way), or
he would attempt a snivelling note of pathos in his efforts to get more
than his share. His mother was quite ready to give him more than his share.
She took it for granted that he, 'the boy', should have the biggest
portion; but however much she gave him he invariably demanded more. At
every meal she would beseech him not to be selfish and to remember that his
little sister was sick and also needed food, but it was no use. He would
cry out with rage when she stopped ladling, he would try to wrench the
saucepan and spoon out of her hands, he would grab bits from his sister's
plate. He knew that he was starving the other two, but he could not help
it; he even felt that he had a right to do it. The clamorous hunger in his
belly seemed to justify him. Between meals, if his mother did not stand
guard, he was constantly pilfering at the wretched store of food on the
shelf.
One day a chocolate-ration was issued. There had been no such issue
for weeks or months past. He remembered quite clearly that precious little
morsel of chocolate. It was a two-ounce slab (they still talked about
ounces in those days) between the three of them. It was obvious that it
ought to be divided into three equal parts. Suddenly, as though he were
listening to somebody else, Winston heard himself dema