hardness and wickedness of their hearts; and say
there is so much corruption, that it seems to them impossible there
should be any goodness there. Many of them seem to be much more sensible
how corrupt their hearts are, than before they were converted; and some
have been too ready to be impressed with fear, that instead of becoming
better, they are grown much worse, and make it an argument against the
goodness of their state. But the truth, the case seems plainly to be,
that now they feel the pain of their own wound; they have a watchful eye
upon their hearts, that they did not use to have. They take more notice
of what sin is there, which is now more burdensome to them; they strive
more against it, and feel more of its strength.
They are somewhat surprised that they should in this respect find
themselves so different from the idea they generally had entertained of
godly persons. For, though grace be indeed of a far more excellent
nature than they imagined, yet those who are godly have much less of it,
and much more remaining corruption, than they thought. They never
realized it, that persons were wont to meet with such difficulties,
after they were once converted. When they are thus exercised with doubts
about their state, through the deadness of their frames, as long as
these frames last, they are commonly unable to sat