Tears in Heaven

Hello
I have read alot of stories about people who are suffering with cancer
and those who are looking after their loved ones. I know the pain of
losing a family member or friends. People often say be strong, but
sometimes it is so hard. I;ve lost two family members to cancer and
one day will lose my husband,friend,lover, we don't when but it is
coming, and when it dose my tears will flow freely until then i am
living with the fear of being alone.

MUSKA01 wrote:

> Hello
> I have read alot of stories about people who are suffering with cancer
> and those who are looking after their loved ones. I know the pain of
> losing a family member or friends. People often say be strong, but
> sometimes it is so hard. I;ve lost two family members to cancer and
> one day will lose my husband,friend,lover, we don't when but it is
> coming, and when it dose my tears will flow freely until then i am
> living with the fear of being alone.

Some posts remind me of songs. Yours did.
Some of us find solace in music. That seems to be something I have in
common with my cousin, whose brother recently died of melanoma. All 3
(four actually) of us share an interest in eclectic music.
Your post reminds me of Eric Clapton song. His (young) son fell out of an
apartment window and died. Unimaginable pain at losing someone so young
with his whole life ahead of him. And so preventable.
I'm not denying you your pain and fear of being alone. Just saying that
sometimes when I get down, remembering family members who've died (or
other losses), I use music. Some types, of songs, are "angry". Some types
energize. Some songs bring tears. Some give me the urge to call someone.
Some give me the urge to get out and walk or dance. I also enjoy "world
music". I don't always understand what they're saying but the music
moves us to an emotion or a place or time. (back to olden days, way back).

Love and friendship and companionship comes in various colours.
I can't tell you, you won't feel alone, but reach out, Riana, when you're
ready; you won't feel so alone.
J

On Apr 11, 10:15 pm, J <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote:
> MUSKA01 wrote:
> > Hello
> > I have read alot of stories about people who are suffering with cancer
> > and those who are looking after their loved ones. I know the pain of
> > losing a family member or friends. People often say be strong, but
> > sometimes it is so hard. I;ve lost two family members to cancer and
> > one day will lose my husband,friend,lover, we don't when but it is
> > coming, and when it dose my tears will flow freely until then i am
> > living with the fear of being alone.
>
> Some posts remind me of songs. Yours did.
> Some of us find solace in music. That seems to be something I have in
> common with my cousin, whose brother recently died of melanoma. All 3
> (four actually) of us share an interest in eclectic music.
> Your post reminds me of Eric Clapton song. His (young) son fell out of an
> apartment window and died. Unimaginable pain at losing someone so young
> with his whole life ahead of him. And so preventable.
> I'm not denying you your pain and fear of being alone. Just saying that
> sometimes when I get down, remembering family members who've died (or
> other losses), I use music. Some types, of songs, are "angry". Some types
> energize. Some songs bring tears. Some give me the urge to call someone.
> Some give me the urge to get out and walk or dance. I also enjoy "world
> music". I don't always understand what they're saying but the music
> moves us to an emotion or a place or time. (back to olden days, way back).
>
> Love and friendship and companionship comes in various colours.
> I can't tell you, you won't feel alone, but reach out, Riana, when you're
> ready; you won't feel so alone.
> J

hello J
You are so right, music, a certain scent, brings back good memories of
my sister and father. Why i say feel alone is because all my families
are overseas and my mother who i love dearly is suffering from
Dementia so you see all i have is my wonderful husband.
Cheers
Riana

MUSKA01 wrote:

> On Apr 11, 10:15 pm, J <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote:
> > MUSKA01 wrote:
> > > Hello
> > > I have read alot of stories about people who are suffering with cancer
> > > and those who are looking after their loved ones. I know the pain of
> > > losing a family member or friends. People often say be strong, but
> > > sometimes it is so hard. I;ve lost two family members to cancer and
> > > one day will lose my husband,friend,lover, we don't when but it is
> > > coming, and when it dose my tears will flow freely until then i am
> > > living with the fear of being alone.
> >
> > Some posts remind me of songs. Yours did.
> > Some of us find solace in music. <snip>
> > Love and friendship and companionship comes in various colours.
> > I can't tell you, you won't feel alone, but reach out, Riana, when you're
> > ready; you won't feel so alone.
> > J
>
> hello J
> You are so right, music, a certain scent, brings back good memories of
> my sister and father. Why i say feel alone is because all my families
> are overseas and my mother who i love dearly is suffering from
> Dementia so you see all i have is my wonderful husband.
> Cheers
> Riana

I'm sorry, Riana.
It's easy for us to say we know how you feel, but we really do not.
It's easy for us to say we'll be here for you and we will be, but cannot be
there for you.
It's easy for me to say "I hope someone will be there for you", but there's no
guarantee of that.
My hope is not necessarily your reality.
The right words fail at the moment, but please know that I'm hearing you and
caring.
Please keep talking with us.
J

On Apr 13, 9:05 am, J <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote:
> MUSKA01 wrote:
> > On Apr 11, 10:15 pm, J <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote:
> > > MUSKA01 wrote:
> > > > Hello
> > > > I have read alot of stories about people who are suffering with cancer
> > > > and those who are looking after their loved ones. I know the pain of
> > > > losing a family member or friends. People often say be strong, but
> > > > sometimes it is so hard. I;ve lost two family members to cancer and
> > > > one day will lose my husband,friend,lover, we don't when but it is
> > > > coming, and when it dose my tears will flow freely until then i am
> > > > living with the fear of being alone.
>
> > > Some posts remind me of songs. Yours did.
> > > Some of us find solace in music. <snip>
> > > Love and friendship and companionship comes in various colours.
> > > I can't tell you, you won't feel alone, but reach out, Riana, when you're
> > > ready; you won't feel so alone.
> > > J
>
> > hello J
> > You are so right, music, a certain scent, brings back good memories of
> > my sister and father. Why i say feel alone is because all my families
> > are overseas and my mother who i love dearly is suffering from
> > Dementia so you see all i have is my wonderful husband.
> > Cheers
> > Riana
>
> I'm sorry, Riana.
> It's easy for us to say we know how you feel, but we really do not.
> It's easy for us to say we'll be here for you and we will be, but cannot be
> there for you.
> It's easy for me to say "I hope someone will be there for you", but there's no
> guarantee of that.
> My hope is not necessarily your reality.
> The right words fail at the moment, but please know that I'm hearing you and
> caring.
> Please keep talking with us.
> J

Hello J
Thank you for your lovely words they mean alot. At the moment Mike is
doing well as to be expected for his condition. We have spoken alot
about his dying and do you know that when it comes i won't be afraid
for him, but for me all time will cease for a period of time. To
accept this fate given to him makes us live life not waste it on
trivial problems
Riana

"MUSKA01" <mrshea@xtra.co.nz> wrote in
news:1176453340.540117.192990@n59g2000hsh.googlegr oups.com:

> On Apr 13, 9:05 am, J <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote:
>> MUSKA01 wrote:
>> > On Apr 11, 10:15 pm, J <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote:
>> > > MUSKA01 wrote:
>> > > > Hello
>> > > > I have read alot of stories about people who are suffering with
>> > > > cancer and those who are looking after their loved ones. I know
>> > > > the pain of losing a family member or friends. People often say
>> > > > be strong, but sometimes it is so hard. I;ve lost two family
>> > > > members to cancer and one day will lose my
>> > > > husband,friend,lover, we don't when but it is coming, and when
>> > > > it dose my tears will flow freely until then i am living with
>> > > > the fear of being alone.
>>
>> > > Some posts remind me of songs. Yours did.
>> > > Some of us find solace in music. <snip>
>> > > Love and friendship and companionship comes in various colours.
>> > > I can't tell you, you won't feel alone, but reach out, Riana,
>> > > when you're ready; you won't feel so alone.
>> > > J
>>
>> > hello J
>> > You are so right, music, a certain scent, brings back good memories
>> > of my sister and father. Why i say feel alone is because all my
>> > families are overseas and my mother who i love dearly is suffering
>> > from Dementia so you see all i have is my wonderful husband.
>> > Cheers
>> > Riana
>>
>> I'm sorry, Riana.
>> It's easy for us to say we know how you feel, but we really do not.
>> It's easy for us to say we'll be here for you and we will be, but
>> cannot be there for you.
>> It's easy for me to say "I hope someone will be there for you", but
>> there's no guarantee of that.
>> My hope is not necessarily your reality.
>> The right words fail at the moment, but please know that I'm hearing
>> you and caring.
>> Please keep talking with us.
>> J
>
> Hello J
> Thank you for your lovely words they mean alot. At the moment Mike is
> doing well as to be expected for his condition. We have spoken alot
> about his dying and do you know that when it comes i won't be afraid
> for him, but for me all time will cease for a period of time. To
> accept this fate given to him makes us live life not waste it on
> trivial problems
> Riana
>
Riana,
That's the approach we took & it worked for us.
Fig