how come

even when days are ok, when it gets to be dark out i still
strongly want to cut. suicidal ideation's high all the time. i'm
hoping it's just habitual thought paths that are leading me to
these dark places. i'm doing my best to redirect, and maybe
someday soon i'll realise i'm not struggling anymore. i look
forward to that day.

-lisa

"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9858DC0D04832mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
> even when days are ok, when it gets to be dark out i still
> strongly want to cut. suicidal ideation's high all the time. i'm
> hoping it's just habitual thought paths that are leading me to
> these dark places. i'm doing my best to redirect, and maybe
> someday soon i'll realise i'm not struggling anymore. i look
> forward to that day.
>
> -lisa


because your thinking about it

% wrote...

>
> "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
> news:Xns9858DC0D04832mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
>> even when days are ok, when it gets to be dark out i still
>> strongly want to cut. suicidal ideation's high all the
>> time. i'm hoping it's just habitual thought paths that are
>> leading me to these dark places. i'm doing my best to
>> redirect, and maybe someday soon i'll realise i'm not
>> struggling anymore. i look forward to that day.
>>
>> -lisa
>
>
> because your thinking about it


that's why i'm trying not to. working on thinking of other
things when my thoughts get self-destructive. i'm afraid it's
going to take a long time to change.

"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9858DCD87CB8Bmccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
> % wrote...
>
> >
> > "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
> > news:Xns9858DC0D04832mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
> >> even when days are ok, when it gets to be dark out i still
> >> strongly want to cut. suicidal ideation's high all the
> >> time. i'm hoping it's just habitual thought paths that are
> >> leading me to these dark places. i'm doing my best to
> >> redirect, and maybe someday soon i'll realise i'm not
> >> struggling anymore. i look forward to that day.
> >>
> >> -lisa
> >
> >
> > because your thinking about it
>
>
> that's why i'm trying not to. working on thinking of other
> things when my thoughts get self-destructive. i'm afraid it's
> going to take a long time to change.


involvement with other things besides here will help ,
not that i want you to leave but this place can be a trigger ,
i guess i'm sure you know that already though

"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:Gf2dnSth7t1c0bHYnZ2dnUVZ_umdnZ2d@giganews.com ...
>
> "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
> news:Xns9858DCD87CB8Bmccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
>> % wrote...
>>
>> >
>> > "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
>> > news:Xns9858DC0D04832mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
>> >> even when days are ok, when it gets to be dark out i still
>> >> strongly want to cut. suicidal ideation's high all the
>> >> time. i'm hoping it's just habitual thought paths that are
>> >> leading me to these dark places. i'm doing my best to
>> >> redirect, and maybe someday soon i'll realise i'm not
>> >> struggling anymore. i look forward to that day.
>> >>
>> >> -lisa
>> >
>> >
>> > because your thinking about it
>>
>>
>> that's why i'm trying not to. working on thinking of other
>> things when my thoughts get self-destructive. i'm afraid it's
>> going to take a long time to change.
>
>
> involvement with other things besides here will help ,
> not that i want you to leave but this place can be a trigger ,
> i guess i'm sure you know that already though
>
>
you mean like
"you can check in any time you like but you can never leave"
bwahahahahahahahahahahaha

% wrote...

>
> "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
> news:Xns9858DCD87CB8Bmccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
>> % wrote...
>>
>> >
>> > "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
>> > news:Xns9858DC0D04832mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
>> >> even when days are ok, when it gets to be dark out i
>> >> still strongly want to cut. suicidal ideation's high
>> >> all the time. i'm hoping it's just habitual thought
>> >> paths that are leading me to these dark places. i'm
>> >> doing my best to redirect, and maybe someday soon i'll
>> >> realise i'm not struggling anymore. i look forward to
>> >> that day.
>> >>
>> >> -lisa
>> >
>> >
>> > because your thinking about it
>>
>>
>> that's why i'm trying not to. working on thinking of other
>> things when my thoughts get self-destructive. i'm afraid
>> it's going to take a long time to change.
>
>
> involvement with other things besides here will help ,
> not that i want you to leave but this place can be a
> trigger , i guess i'm sure you know that already though

i haven't been triggered here lately. i used to be. now it's
mostly a place to hang out and watch you and justa goof
around.

-lisa

"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9858DF53B8DCBmccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
>% wrote...
>
>>
>> "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
>> news:Xns9858DCD87CB8Bmccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
>>> % wrote...
>>>
>>> >
>>> > "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
>>> > news:Xns9858DC0D04832mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
>>> >> even when days are ok, when it gets to be dark out i
>>> >> still strongly want to cut. suicidal ideation's high
>>> >> all the time. i'm hoping it's just habitual thought
>>> >> paths that are leading me to these dark places. i'm
>>> >> doing my best to redirect, and maybe someday soon i'll
>>> >> realise i'm not struggling anymore. i look forward to
>>> >> that day.
>>> >>
>>> >> -lisa
>>> >
>>> >
>>> > because your thinking about it
>>>
>>>
>>> that's why i'm trying not to. working on thinking of other
>>> things when my thoughts get self-destructive. i'm afraid
>>> it's going to take a long time to change.
>>
>>
>> involvement with other things besides here will help ,
>> not that i want you to leave but this place can be a
>> trigger , i guess i'm sure you know that already though
>
> i haven't been triggered here lately. i used to be. now it's
> mostly a place to hang out and watch you and justa goof
> around.
>
> -lisa

ya know what lisa?
i think thats a darn good attitude to have!

justa

"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9858DF53B8DCBmccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
> % wrote...
>
> >
> > "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
> > news:Xns9858DCD87CB8Bmccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
> >> % wrote...
> >>
> >> >
> >> > "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
> >> > news:Xns9858DC0D04832mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
> >> >> even when days are ok, when it gets to be dark out i
> >> >> still strongly want to cut. suicidal ideation's high
> >> >> all the time. i'm hoping it's just habitual thought
> >> >> paths that are leading me to these dark places. i'm
> >> >> doing my best to redirect, and maybe someday soon i'll
> >> >> realise i'm not struggling anymore. i look forward to
> >> >> that day.
> >> >>
> >> >> -lisa
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > because your thinking about it
> >>
> >>
> >> that's why i'm trying not to. working on thinking of other
> >> things when my thoughts get self-destructive. i'm afraid
> >> it's going to take a long time to change.
> >
> >
> > involvement with other things besides here will help ,
> > not that i want you to leave but this place can be a
> > trigger , i guess i'm sure you know that already though
>
> i haven't been triggered here lately. i used to be. now it's
> mostly a place to hang out and watch you and justa goof
> around.
>
> -lisa


you won't be seeing much of that anymore

"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:yoydnVN_YL6TzLHYnZ2dnUVZ_vqdnZ2d@giganews.com ...
>
> "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
> news:Xns9858DF53B8DCBmccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
>> % wrote...
>>
>> >
>> > "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
>> > news:Xns9858DCD87CB8Bmccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
>> >> % wrote...
>> >>
>> >> >
>> >> > "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
>> >> > news:Xns9858DC0D04832mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4. ..
>> >> >> even when days are ok, when it gets to be dark out i
>> >> >> still strongly want to cut. suicidal ideation's high
>> >> >> all the time. i'm hoping it's just habitual thought
>> >> >> paths that are leading me to these dark places. i'm
>> >> >> doing my best to redirect, and maybe someday soon i'll
>> >> >> realise i'm not struggling anymore. i look forward to
>> >> >> that day.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> -lisa
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> > because your thinking about it
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> that's why i'm trying not to. working on thinking of other
>> >> things when my thoughts get self-destructive. i'm afraid
>> >> it's going to take a long time to change.
>> >
>> >
>> > involvement with other things besides here will help ,
>> > not that i want you to leave but this place can be a
>> > trigger , i guess i'm sure you know that already though
>>
>> i haven't been triggered here lately. i used to be. now it's
>> mostly a place to hang out and watch you and justa goof
>> around.
>>
>> -lisa
>
>
> you won't be seeing much of that anymore
>
>
well thats sad but ok
at least i won't have to look at your geoduck no more

On 11 Oct 2006 01:38:07 GMT, "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:

>even when days are ok, when it gets to be dark out i still
>strongly want to cut.

Maybe racial memory of mankind's historical fear of night. Night also
reminds many people of death, or a terrible ending of some other sort.

lisa in mass. <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:

>>> that's why i'm trying not to. working on thinking of other
>>> things when my thoughts get self-destructive. i'm afraid
>>> it's going to take a long time to change.

I'm convinced night time make-em-sleep therapy
would help a lotta ppl. Only thing is, hospitals
aren't set up for it.

Me I'd like a nice week-long out-of-it but
can't think of it right now.

"Contrarian" <adrba65@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:eR1Xg.6250$lq.1615@newsread1.mlpsca01.us.to.v erio.net...
> lisa in mass. <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
>
>>>> that's why i'm trying not to. working on thinking of other
>>>> things when my thoughts get self-destructive. i'm afraid
>>>> it's going to take a long time to change.
>
> I'm convinced night time make-em-sleep therapy
> would help a lotta ppl. Only thing is, hospitals
> aren't set up for it.
>
> Me I'd like a nice week-long out-of-it but
> can't think of it right now.
>

they used sleep therapy in the MK Ultra Project. the therapy i have heard
about is basically sedating patients into deep sleep for days on end. i
guess they are allowed to get up and eat, or fed through other means, and
they mostly sleep.

i think i would benefit from a couple of weeks of this.

Gravity

Contrarian wrote...

> lisa in mass. <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
>
>>>> that's why i'm trying not to. working on thinking of other
>>>> things when my thoughts get self-destructive. i'm afraid
>>>> it's going to take a long time to change.
>
> I'm convinced night time make-em-sleep therapy
> would help a lotta ppl. Only thing is, hospitals
> aren't set up for it.
>
> Me I'd like a nice week-long out-of-it but
> can't think of it right now.

maybe they could give people a post-hypnotic suggestion to be
very sleepy with a trigger.

i'd love to sleep for a week, as well, but it's not very
practical.

-lisa

CyberDroog wrote...

> On 11 Oct 2006 01:38:07 GMT, "lisa in mass."
> <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
>
>>even when days are ok, when it gets to be dark out i still
>>strongly want to cut.
>
> Maybe racial memory of mankind's historical fear of night.
> Night also reminds many people of death, or a terrible
> ending of some other sort.

i dunno. i just hate that i feel the worst when i'm most alone,
with everybody sleeping. i wonder if it's that alone feeling
coupled with a restriction to very quiet activity that does it.

-lisa