relationships

suck

the beginning is such a lie, suck you in and then once your emotions
and heart are involved

SUCKA!!

justpackrat wrote...

> suck
>
> the beginning is such a lie, suck you in and then once your
> emotions and heart are involved
>
> SUCKA!!

:-(

justpackrat wrote:
> suck
>
> the beginning is such a lie, suck you in and then once your emotions
> and heart are involved
>
> SUCKA!!
I kept recreating the same bad relationship . It took me a long
time to figure that out. It took me a long time to get it. It was a
pattern. somebody who has a father who is unable to show love is
much more likely to marry a man who is also unable to show love. Its
crazy really but it is all to comman I think. So I think your only
defense is to try to be aware of that craziness and don't give in to
it!

Janithor is so very much on the mark. This happened to me many times.
Getting a girlfriend and losing her to my own insecurities and self
doubt. Being needy and clingy, distant and cold within a few minutes
does not ingratiate yourself with the opposite sex or same sex for that
matter. I'm still working on it to be honest. It is one more reason
to say 'You are not good enough. You are pathetic. How could she love
you." Right now I am avoiding relationships of any kind because I know
that I am not in the correct state mentally to engage in a fulfilling
and reciprocal relationship with anyone. By my standards. Yet I see
jerks and a-holes with girls I know and it does annoy me. Especially
when they complain about their relationships to me!

> and a man who had a father who was unable to show love has a hell of a hard
> time figuring out how to show love. goes to show how important fathers are.
> next, we come to mothers.

True, as a 25yr old male whose father left before I was born I am
scared shitless about becoming a father myself. Will I be a failure as
my father was, or too protective and smother my child. I look to my
friends and all I see is macho bullshit and them desperately trying to
make their sons into 'real men'. Which scares me even more. I honestly
don't want to have kids because I fear I will repeat the mistakes of my
step-father or the kids will be depressive like me.

styrofoamboots <styrofoamboots81@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> and a man who had a father who was unable to show love has a hell of a hard
>> time figuring out how to show love. goes to show how important fathers are.
>> next, we come to mothers.

> True, as a 25yr old male whose father left before I was born I am
> scared shitless about becoming a father myself. Will I be a failure as
> my father was, or too protective and smother my child. I look to my
> friends and all I see is macho bullshit and them desperately trying to
> make their sons into 'real men'. Which scares me even more. I honestly
> don't want to have kids because I fear I will repeat the mistakes of my
> step-father or the kids will be depressive like me.


Wish I had some suggestions. But if I understand
correctly, there is no impending event.

justpackrat wrote:
> suck
>
> the beginning is such a lie, suck you in and then once your emotions
> and heart are involved
>
> SUCKA!!

I've never had a long term romantic relatrionship, but relationships
with familly and friends can be difficult...


-"Jordy"

styrofoamboots wrote:
> > and a man who had a father who was unable to show love has a hell of a hard
> > time figuring out how to show love. goes to show how important fathers are.
> > next, we come to mothers.
>
> True, as a 25yr old male whose father left before I was born I am
> scared shitless about becoming a father myself. Will I be a failure as
> my father was, or too protective and smother my child. I look to my
> friends and all I see is macho bullshit and them desperately trying to
> make their sons into 'real men'. Which scares me even more. I honestly
> don't want to have kids because I fear I will repeat the mistakes of my
> step-father or the kids will be depressive like me.

There are many areas where I hope to grow and develop more, (It's
a little embaressing sometimes to be 32 and working on a lot of the
same issues I was dealing with 10,15, 20 years ago) but I'm happy I
don't have to worry about getting married and having children... Even
if I could, I know I could never handle that... I love being an uncle
though... aunts and uncles and grandparents are lucky, I think... they
get to spend time with children without the long term obligations and
responsibilities... as far as sex roles go, it's a shame when they are
too rigid... If we are honest with ourselves we can see that we all
have masculine and femenine elements in all of us... sometimes they are
out of balance, and maybe a good thing to work on is finding more
balance, as balance is a positive thing in all areas of life, I think,
but rigid expectations roles and expections is very unhealthy and fear
based, I believe...

-"Jordy"