why the hell II

why the hell do i keep getting diagnosed with schizophrenia. sometimes i am
also diagnosed with depression. this makes no sense because i have massive
mood swings. but even when the mood swings to energetic, i am still
depressed. i think i'm depressed? or perhaps i did so much ecstasy and
coke that i can't feel pleasure anymore. i had heard this rumor about coke
users.

depressed > energetic > semi-happy > angry > self-loathing > talkative >
quiet. all this happens in a few weeks, or even in a few days.

strange.

but i'm not bipolar, because there is no manic component. so i guess i'm
schizoaffective unipolar depressive.

i had heard there can be a pseudo-mania associated with psychotic
depression, in which the patient gets very energetic but is still down on
life.

Gravity

On Sun, 8 Oct 2006 06:51:16 -0500, "gravity"
<gravity@send_emails_to_Persent_instead> wrote:

>but i'm not bipolar, because there is no manic component. so i guess i'm
>schizoaffective unipolar depressive.
>
>i had heard there can be a pseudo-mania associated with psychotic
>depression, in which the patient gets very energetic but is still down on
>life.
>
>Gravity

Just from a quick search, a lot out there on that topic...

Mania Symptoms Often Misunderstood:
There are subtleties within the subtleties of the mania cycle. Mania
does not always reveal itself as a happy or euphoric state but instead
can manifest as irritability, anxiousness or aggression. “There’s a
state called mixed mania,” said Dr. Risinger, “and the reason it’s
called mixed is because it has characteristics of both depression and
mania.

“So even though someone may have, for example, lots of energy, even
though they may be very reactive to other people, intrusive or racing
thoughts (one of the diagnostic criteria for manic depression), people
in a mixed state can be very dysphoric. They can be very unpleasant to
be around, and this can even reach the point of their becoming
suicidal.”

~Medical College of Wisconsin
Full article: http://healthlink.mcw.edu/article/1031002209.html

Bacon, thanks for that article. i had heard of dysphoric mania or mixed
state back in July, but i had completely forgotten about it.

fuck this shit. i am writing a 20 page paper about my symptoms, and i'll
give $300 to any doctor who reads the full thing and gives me the right
meds.

Gravity