husband is giving up

Hi I am new to this group and trying to find some support. My
husband is 47 and diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
but not sure what details to share. We have 2 small children and he
is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
am going to make it. Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
this the right place to voice what is going on? Thanks, snowgirl

<lcb8@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:853f3968-be8d-42d1-9947-7000c61fc0f8@l42g2000hsc.googlegroups.com...
> Hi I am new to this group and trying to find some support. My
> husband is 47 and diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
> amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
> but not sure what details to share. We have 2 small children and he
> is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
> am going to make it. Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
> this the right place to voice what is going on? Thanks, snowgirl

Hey Snowgirl,

This is absolutely the right place to talk about these issues. Is your
husband a type 1 or type 2? (Most people diagnosed as adults are type 2,
but occasionally some do develop type 1 as an adult.) Tell us what he does
that is non-compliant.

I'm very sorry to hear of your troubles. It's got to be very scary and
frustrating. Talk, vent, ask questions. That's what we're here for.
--
Best regards,
Michelle C., T2
diet & exercise
BMI 21.5

lcb8@comcast.net wrote:
> Hi I am new to this group and trying to find some support. My
> husband is 47 and diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
> amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
> but not sure what details to share. We have 2 small children and he
> is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
> am going to make it. Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
> this the right place to voice what is going on? Thanks, snowgirl

Hi, Snowgirl. No doubt, your husband has to face the facts. My good friend,
Big Jim Whitten, lost one leg around 15 years ago, and the other one about
a year or two ago. Attitude is crucial!

You and yer kids are gonna make it! The question is will he? Or is he a
quitter? Get him to post here.

You sound like a good wife and mother. Good luck, girl.

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!
I've known US vets who served as far back as the Spanish American War.
They are all my heroes! Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops.
You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~

Welcome to the group..sorry it is under these circumstances..im sure it is
frustrating to see sombody you love give up...we want them with us strong
and healthy forever.

Usually the best thing to do in these cases is YOU make a change in the
house for you and your family..if everyone else is healthy and has a new
strong attitude he will either ome around or he wont..but the rest of you
will be stronger whatever his choices are.

Take care and keep posting.

KROM

<lcb8@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:853f3968-be8d-42d1-9947-7000c61fc0f8@l42g2000hsc.googlegroups.com...
> Hi I am new to this group and trying to find some support. My
> husband is 47 and diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
> amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
> but not sure what details to share. We have 2 small children and he
> is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
> am going to make it. Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
> this the right place to voice what is going on? Thanks, snowgirl

<lcb8@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:853f3968-be8d-42d1-9947-7000c61fc0f8@l42g2000hsc.googlegroups.com...
> Hi I am new to this group and trying to find some support. My
> husband is 47 and diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
> amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
> but not sure what details to share. We have 2 small children and he
> is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
> am going to make it. Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
> this the right place to voice what is going on? Thanks, snowgirl

I do know the feeling. I started on insulin and my BG is still not down to
where it should be. Makes me very frustrated when I feel like I am doing
all that I should be doing and things are no better.

On 26 Jun 2008 04:45:00 GMT, Nick Cramer <n_cramerSPAM@pacbell.net>
wrote:

>lcb8@comcast.net wrote:
>> Hi I am new to this group and trying to find some support. My
>> husband is 47 and diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
>> amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
>> but not sure what details to share. We have 2 small children and he
>> is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
>> am going to make it. Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
>> this the right place to voice what is going on? Thanks, snowgirl
>
>Hi, Snowgirl. No doubt, your husband has to face the facts. My good friend,
>Big Jim Whitten, lost one leg around 15 years ago, and the other one about
>a year or two ago. Attitude is crucial!
>
>You and yer kids are gonna make it! The question is will he? Or is he a
>quitter? Get him to post here.
>
>You sound like a good wife and mother. Good luck, girl.

I lost a leg about ten years ago. I would be glad to try to talk with
yur husband. I am not much but have been there. I wish
you would talk to my wife Mona. we went through the whole story.

My e-mail is legit and if you think might be worthwhile send us
your phone number.

Mona is a wonderful wife and it made the difference in my case.

Yes, it damn rough but all I can say is we never gave up.


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On Jun 26, 12:19*am, l...@comcast.net wrote:
> Hi *I am new to this group and trying *to find some support. *My
> husband is 47 and *diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
> amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
> but not sure what details to share. *We have *2 small children and he
> is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
> am going to make it. *Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
> this the right place to voice what is going on? *Thanks, *snowgirl

>
If your husband is ignoring the facts, I don't know if the group will
do him any good. But having people to talk and share with who know
what their talking about (and some here who I'm sure have the type of
experience to relate to your position) will certainly help 'you' deal
with it.

John

On Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:19:22 -0700 (PDT), lcb8@comcast.net wrote:

>Hi I am new to this group and trying to find some support. My
>husband is 47 and diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
>amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
>but not sure what details to share. We have 2 small children and he
>is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
>am going to make it. Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
>this the right place to voice what is going on? Thanks, snowgirl


Yes, of course you're welcome here.

Your husband needs counseling from a professional. That's pretty much
a given.

You can't do everything for him and I hope you understand the
difference between empathy and sympathy. He doesn't need sympathy
from anyone.

And regardless of what he is going through, you need help and support
as well. Some of that may come from some type of couples or family
counseling. But you also need support that is separate from your
husband.

--
Måck©® Deltec CoZmore Pumper
Type 1 since 1975
http://www.alt-support-diabetes.org
http://www.diabetic-talk.org
http://www.insulin-pumpers.org
http://diabetes.niddk.nih.gov/dm/pubs/type1and2/
http://www.pandora.com enter "Jason & Demarco"
http://www.ratbags.com/dechunging/


"To announce that there must be no criticism of the
President, or that we are to stand by the President
right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile,
but is morally treasonable to the American public."
....Theodore Roosevelt

(o ô)
--ooO-(_)-Ooo--------------------

"I don't know half of you
half as well as I should like;
and I like less than half of you
half as well as you deserve."
....Bilbo Baggins


DISCLAIMER If you find a posting or message from me
offensive, inappropriate, or disruptive, please ignore it.
If you don't know how to ignore a posting, complain to
me and I will be only too happy to demonstrate...
..

lcb8@comcast.net wrote:
> Hi I am new to this group and trying to find some support. My
> husband is 47 and diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
> amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
> but not sure what details to share. We have 2 small children and he
> is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
> am going to make it. Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
> this the right place to voice what is going on? Thanks, snowgirl

hi snowgirl

sorry to hear of the troubles you are having

i have to agree that your husband needs to get into counseling

if he's unwilling to do that, ask him to make a 'living will' and to
plan his funeral, and ensure his will is up to date



--
kate
type 1 since 1987
www.diabetic-chat.org
www.diabetic-talk.org
http://www.diabetes-support.org.uk/n...diagnosed.html

"Tiger_Lily" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:6chpg6F3esiuaU2@mid.individual.net...
> lcb8@comcast.net wrote:
>> Hi I am new to this group and trying to find some support. My
>> husband is 47 and diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
>> amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
>> but not sure what details to share. We have 2 small children and he
>> is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
>> am going to make it. Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
>> this the right place to voice what is going on? Thanks, snowgirl
>
> hi snowgirl
>
> sorry to hear of the troubles you are having
>
> i have to agree that your husband needs to get into counseling
>
> if he's unwilling to do that, ask him to make a 'living will' and to plan
> his funeral, and ensure his will is up to date
>
>
>
> --
> kate
> type 1 since 1987
> www.diabetic-chat.org
> www.diabetic-talk.org
> http://www.diabetes-support.org.uk/n...diagnosed.html

Your suggestion might be seen as "cruel", "heartless", or "insensitive",
Kate, and yet, back in 1995, it was something like that which snapped me
into managing my diabetes. It was logging on to MHD and in one big rush
finding out all the nasties - the "complications" - which would kill me in a
horrible way if I didn't get down to it.

Henry Mydlarz.

l...@comcast.net wrote:
>
> Hi I am new to this group and trying to find some support. My
> husband is 47 and diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
> amputated below the knee in Sept.

Sad to read about this.

> There are many more complications
> but not sure what details to share. We have 2 small children and he
> is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
> am going to make it.

You, your children, and your husband need GOD's help.

When GOD helps us with our needs, it means HE is blessing us.

> Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
> this the right place to voice what is going on?

GOD has me teaching folks what is required before HE cures their
type-2 diabetes:

http://groups.google.com/group/sci.m...8812d72ab4e17?

> Thanks, snowgirl

Laus Deo :-)

May you and other dear neighbors, friends, and brethren have a
blessedly wonderful 2008th year since the birth of our LORD Jesus
Christ as our Messiah, the Son of Man ...

.... by being hungrier:

http://groups.google.com/group/sci.m...1e617d10bd689?

Hunger is wonderful ! ! !

It's how we know what GOD desires, which is all that is good.

Yes, hunger is our knowledge of good versus evil that Adam and Eve
paid for with their and our immortal lives.

"Blessed are you who hunger NOW...

.... for you will be satisfied." -- LORD Jesus Christ (Luke 6:21)

Amen.

Here is a Spirit-guided exegesis of Luke 6:21 given in hopes of
promoting much greater understanding:

http://groups.google.com/group/sci.m...aa8f8a4d41360?

Be hungry... be healthy... be hungrier... be healthier...

Marana tha

Prayerfully in the awesome name of our Messiah, Jesus Christ,

Andrew <><
--
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.m...245343707310e?

Tiger_Lily <me@privacy.net> wrote:
> lcb8@comcast.net wrote:
> > [ . . . ]
> if he's unwilling to do that, ask him to make a 'living will' and to
> plan his funeral, and ensure his will is up to date

That's good advice for everyone, Kate, regardless of age or health
condition. In snowball's case, it could, indeed, serve as a wake up call!

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!
I've known US vets who served as far back as the Spanish American War.
They are all my heroes! Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops.
You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~

On Jun 26, 12:48*am, "Michelle C" <bookbug...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> <l...@comcast.net> wrote in message
>
> news:853f3968-be8d-42d1-9947-7000c61fc0f8@l42g2000hsc.googlegroups.com...
>
> > Hi *I am new to this group and trying *to find some support. *My
> > husband is 47 and *diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
> > amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
> > but not sure what details to share. *We have *2 small children and he
> > is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
> > am going to make it. *Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
> > this the right place to voice what is going on? *Thanks, *snowgirl
>
> Hey Snowgirl,
>
> This is absolutely the right place to talk about these issues. *Is your
> husband a type 1 or type 2? *(Most people diagnosed as adults are type 2,
> but occasionally some do develop type 1 as an adult.) *Tell us what he does
> that is non-compliant.
>
> I'm very sorry to hear of your troubles. *It's got to be very scary and
> frustrating. *Talk, vent, ask questions. *That's what we're here for.
> --
> Best regards,
> Michelle C., T2
> diet & exercise
> BMI 21.5

Thank you for your response. My husband does not watch what he eats
and never has. He has lost his left eye to diabetic retinophathy, has
high blood pressure and chlosterol, sleep abnea, kidneys under 30%,
has heart stints put in in Nov. neurophathy He does not test before
he takes his insulin. When he went into the hospital is Sept with his
foot ulcer out of control he had not tested since Feb. He had gotten
very mad at me 2 years ago because I was trying to help him with his
health which he called nagging and basically wrote me out of his
life. He told me to not talk to his doctors and to not be involved
with him anymore. He became irrational, yet he still continued to
work. I still love him but am wondering what I am facing.

<lcb8@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:c59a945b-c8ad-47bc-992c-e9d209966bcf@26g2000hsk.googlegroups.com...
On Jun 26, 12:48 am, "Michelle C" <bookbug...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> <l...@comcast.net> wrote in message
>
> news:853f3968-be8d-42d1-9947-7000c61fc0f8@l42g2000hsc.googlegroups.com...
>
> > Hi I am new to this group and trying to find some support. My
> > husband is 47 and diabetic for 15 years and just had his right foot
> > amputated below the knee in Sept. There are many more complications
> > but not sure what details to share. We have 2 small children and he
> > is still so non complient with this disease that I'm wondering how I
> > am going to make it. Does anyone else relate to these issues and is
> > this the right place to voice what is going on? Thanks, snowgirl
>
> Hey Snowgirl,
>
> This is absolutely the right place to talk about these issues. Is your
> husband a type 1 or type 2? (Most people diagnosed as adults are type 2,
> but occasionally some do develop type 1 as an adult.) Tell us what he does
> that is non-compliant.
>
> I'm very sorry to hear of your troubles. It's got to be very scary and
> frustrating. Talk, vent, ask questions. That's what we're here for.
> --
> Best regards,
> Michelle C., T2
> diet & exercise
> BMI 21.5

Thank you for your response. My husband does not watch what he eats
and never has. He has lost his left eye to diabetic retinophathy, has
high blood pressure and chlosterol, sleep abnea, kidneys under 30%,
has heart stints put in in Nov. neurophathy He does not test before
he takes his insulin. When he went into the hospital is Sept with his
foot ulcer out of control he had not tested since Feb. He had gotten
very mad at me 2 years ago because I was trying to help him with his
health which he called nagging and basically wrote me out of his
life. He told me to not talk to his doctors and to not be involved
with him anymore. He became irrational, yet he still continued to
work. I still love him but am wondering what I am facing.
------------------
Oh jeez, you've got your hands full, Snowgirl. This is more than just lack
of knowledge or temporary failure to adjust; it strikes me as being
deep-seated anger. Although, it's possible if he got on board and started
being compliant now, he could slow the deterioration, but..... And since he
absolutely refuses your help and refuses to acknowledge your concern, there
isn't much you can do. I wish I had something more profound to say--but I
suspect you already know these things.

Okay kiddo, I think it was Nick who mentioned that you need to get your act
together and figure out how to take care of yourself and the kids when he's
gone. Do you know where the important papers are? Is there any life
insurance? Etc. Relatives or friends that give you some moral support
here?

There are others here on ASD who have lost friends to diabetes. Hopefully,
they'll come along and tell you how it progressed, so you've got some idea
of possible things to expect. One thing that often happens to diabetics are
heart attacks.

I'm so sorry. It's always tough when someone has to watch a spouse succumb
to an illness, but it's got to be really crappy to see them doing all they
can to hurry the process along.
--
Best regards,
Michelle C., T2
diet & exercise
BMI 21.5

On Jun 28, 6:51 pm, l...@comcast.net wrote:

>
> Thank you for your response. My husband does not watch what he eats
> and never has. He has lost his left eye to diabetic retinophathy, has
> high blood pressure and chlosterol, sleep abnea, kidneys under 30%,
> has heart stints put in in Nov. neurophathy He does not test before
> he takes his insulin. When he went into the hospital is Sept with his
> foot ulcer out of control he had not tested since Feb. He had gotten
> very mad at me 2 years ago because I was trying to help him with his
> health which he called nagging and basically wrote me out of his
> life. He told me to not talk to his doctors and to not be involved
> with him anymore. He became irrational, yet he still continued to
> work. I still love him but am wondering what I am facing.

The important thing now is to look after yourself. He may be wrong,
may be stupid, and is certainly destined for a short and unleasant
life, but that doesn't make it your fault, nor is there any real
difference you can mkae if he really doesn't want you to. If you are
fond of him, make the most of the small time you have, and let him go
when it ends. If you are unhappy, leave him, make a life for yourself
away from his selfishness. You cannot force him to love himself, and
he is the only one who can help himself.


And I think you know that this is not going to happen.


You need to find your our ife as well as you can

Don't feel guilty, it's not your fault...


HH

On Sat, 28 Jun 2008 12:15:49 -0700 (PDT),
HelenHowesTextiles@googlemail.com wrote:

>On Jun 28, 6:51 pm, l...@comcast.net wrote:
>
>>
>> Thank you for your response. My husband does not watch what he eats
>> and never has. He has lost his left eye to diabetic retinophathy, has
>> high blood pressure and chlosterol, sleep abnea, kidneys under 30%,
>> has heart stints put in in Nov. neurophathy He does not test before
>> he takes his insulin. When he went into the hospital is Sept with his
>> foot ulcer out of control he had not tested since Feb. He had gotten
>> very mad at me 2 years ago because I was trying to help him with his
>> health which he called nagging and basically wrote me out of his
>> life. He told me to not talk to his doctors and to not be involved
>> with him anymore. He became irrational, yet he still continued to
>> work. I still love him but am wondering what I am facing.
>
>The important thing now is to look after yourself. He may be wrong,
>may be stupid, and is certainly destined for a short and unleasant
>life, but that doesn't make it your fault, nor is there any real
>difference you can mkae if he really doesn't want you to. If you are
>fond of him, make the most of the small time you have, and let him go
>when it ends. If you are unhappy, leave him, make a life for yourself
>away from his selfishness. You cannot force him to love himself, and
>he is the only one who can help himself.
>
>
>And I think you know that this is not going to happen.
>
>
>You need to find your our ife as well as you can
>
>Don't feel guilty, it's not your fault...
>
>
>HH

I differ with your view. BECAUSE my wife of 30 years
bailed out with most of my assets. Her family told her
to do this.

It did not work out well. After others stole a lot of the
assets I received a communication she wanted to come back.
She died of colon cancer a few years ago Alone
It is so arrogant to offer family advice to others when you
do not know the situation . You did not offer an help.
Just disruptive ravings a few offered to spend a few bucks
on phone calls if it might help.

The rip off cost me but now for the past 20 years I have had
MONA. A feisty Latin gal that puts me in my place. But she does
perform , and perform with a difficult husband with diabetes.




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lcb8@comcast.net wrote:
> On Jun 26, 12:48=A0am, "Michelle C" <bookbug...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > <l...@comcast.net> wrote in message
> > [ . . . ]
> Thank you for your response. My husband does not watch what he eats
> and never has. He has lost his left eye to diabetic retinophathy, has
> high blood pressure and chlosterol, sleep abnea, kidneys under 30%,
> has heart stints put in in Nov. neurophathy He does not test before
> he takes his insulin. When he went into the hospital is Sept with his
> foot ulcer out of control he had not tested since Feb. He had gotten
> very mad at me 2 years ago because I was trying to help him with his
> health which he called nagging and basically wrote me out of his
> life. He told me to not talk to his doctors and to not be involved
> with him anymore. He became irrational, yet he still continued to
> work. I still love him but am wondering what I am facing.

Hi Snowball. Excuse me for saying so, but your husband is a jerk! He
doesn't take care of himself and he doesn't recognize what a sweet, loving
wife he has. When he loses the other eye and maybe a leg or two, he'll be
more accepting of your help. Hang in there, girl. Some peop;e have to feel
before they can learn!

Take care.

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!
I've known US vets who served as far back as the Spanish American War.
They are all my heroes! Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops.
You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~

Excuse me for saying so, but it might be best not to give snowball
advice on her marriage. First off, that's not what she asked for,
and also we cannot see the whole picture about it just from her
description of the situation with him not wanting her health advice.
Just my two cents.

many of us have been there. I will say that is sounds like he
already
gave up a long time ago. If snowball chooses to stay in the
situation, it might be a good time to do good things for herself
as some have suggersted. That is probably the only solid
conclusion one could come to about this - she could focus
on doing good things for herself, sort of like the wives of
alcoholics have to do.

"Michelle C" <bookbug_35@yahoo.com> wrote:
> <lcb8@comcast.net> wrote in message
> On Jun 26, 12:48 am, "Michelle C" <bookbug...@yahoo.com> wrote:
[ . . . ]
> I'm so sorry. It's always tough when someone has to watch a spouse
> succumb to an illness, but it's got to be really crappy to see them doing
> all they can to hurry the process along.

I'm trying to be cool about this, but this jerk really pisses off this
Sichy kid from da Bronx. I'm sorry to say, I have no sympathy for him. I
don't care what brought him to this stupid, selfish, self-destructive
attitude. He's got a loving wife and two kids and all he cares about is
digging his own grave! He won't make a Living Will, probably doesn't have a
Last Will and Testament. Makes me pissed! Excuse my language, or not!

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!
I've known US vets who served as far back as the Spanish American War.
They are all my heroes! Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops.
You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~

dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishie99@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Excuse me for saying so, but it might be best not to give snowball
> advice on her marriage. First off, that's not what she asked for,
> and also we cannot see the whole picture about it just from her
> description of the situation with him not wanting her health advice.
> Just my two cents.
>
> many of us have been there. I will say that is sounds like he
> already
> gave up a long time ago. If snowball chooses to stay in the
> situation, it might be a good time to do good things for herself
> as some have suggersted. That is probably the only solid
> conclusion one could come to about this - she could focus
> on doing good things for herself, sort of like the wives of
> alcoholics have to do.

Excuse me for saying so, but it might be best not to give me advice on what
advice to give anyone. My advice is based on my experience and the picture
as painted by the poster. No one has to like or take my advice!

My wife works hard to buy and cook my food, clean out my cage and my dirty
clothes and buy my Vodka! I don't care what she does with the rest of her
money. What's hers is hers, what's mine is hers. I always have money in my
pants pocket, which she's welcome to take from. I don't know. I don't count
it. I'm not quitting 'til they light the fire under me.

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!
I've known US vets who served as far back as the Spanish American War.
They are all my heroes! Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops.
You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~

On Jun 29, 1:37*am, Nick Cramer <n_cramerS...@pacbell.net> wrote:
> dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishi...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > Excuse me for saying so, but it might be best not to give snowball
> > advice on her marriage. *First off, that's not what she asked for,
> > and also we cannot see the whole picture about it just from her
> > description of the situation with him not wanting her health advice.
> > Just my two cents.
>
> > many of us have been there. *I will say that is sounds like he
> > already
> > gave up a long time ago. If snowball chooses to stay in the
> > situation, it might be a good time to do good things for herself
> > as some have suggersted. *That is probably the only solid
> > conclusion one could come to about this - she could focus
> > on doing good things for herself, sort of like the wives of
> > alcoholics have to do.
>
> Excuse me for saying so, but it might be best not to give me advice on what
> advice to give anyone. My advice is based on my experience and the picture
> as painted by the poster. No one has to like or take my advice!


Excuse me for saying so, but on a public forum it might be best
to realize that anybody can say anything they want, and that you
may not be considering the whole picture. Also, criticizing
her husband for being a jerk is probably not the most helpful
thing to do. If the wife of an alcoholic goes to an alanon
meeting, the people won't tell her her husband is a jerk.
No, they will tell her to focus on doing good things for herself.
This is similar in a way.

You do not know very much at all about her marriage. . If the husband
has so much anger about her "nagging" him, gee, did you think there
might be other issues going on here that she didn't mention?
And she woull be right not to, because after all, this forum is
about getting help with health problems.



>
> My wife works hard to buy and cook my food, clean out my cage and my dirty
> clothes and buy my Vodka! I don't care what she does with the rest of her
> money. What's hers is hers, what's mine is hers. I always have money in my
> pants pocket, which she's welcome to take from. I don't know. I don't count
> it. I'm not quitting 'til they light the fire under me.


I don't know what that has to do with anything.

PS: Nick I'm not criticizing you for being a drinker. It seems like
you might have taken it that way.

I'm actually not interested in that, and lots of other people already
expressed their concern about your blood test results, and I
couldn;t really add anything to that. I'm not a diabetic expert.
I'm still learning and weaking my own approach to it, and will
be for some time.

I'm glad for you that you have someone to take care of you
and clean out your cage though. That kind of thing
helps.

dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishie99@yahoo.com> wrote:
> On Jun 29, 1:37=A0am, Nick Cramer <n_cramerS...@pacbell.net> wrote:
> > dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishi...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > Excuse me for saying so, but it might be best not to give snowball
> > > advice on her marriage. [ . . . ] - she could focus
> > > on doing good things for herself, sort of like the wives of
> > > alcoholics have to do.
> >
> > Excuse me for saying so, but it might be best not to give me advice on
> > [] No one has to like or take my advice!
>
> Excuse me for saying so, but on a public forum it might be best
> to realize that anybody can say anything they want, and that you
> may not be considering the whole picture. Also, criticizing
> her husband for being a jerk is probably not the most helpful
> thing to do. If the wife of an alcoholic goes to an alanon
> meeting, the people won't tell her her husband is a jerk.
> No, they will tell her to focus on doing good things for herself.
> This is similar in a way.

I drink a pint of Vodka a day. I've been drinking at that level for over 50
years. That makes me an alcoholic in many peope's eyes. I am, nonetheless,
a good husband, father and grandfather, if I do say so myself.

> You do not know very much at all about her marriage. . If the husband
> has so much anger about her "nagging" him, gee, did you think there
> might be other issues going on here that she didn't mention?
> And she woull be right not to, because after all, this forum is
> about getting help with health problems.

I don't need to know anything more than what she posted to reply to what
she posted. I calls 'em as I sees 'em! Based on my reading of her post, her
husband is a jerk. I was talking to her, not to you. If you don't like what
I say, you know what you can do.

> > My wife works hard to buy and cook my food, clean out my cage and my
> > dirty clothes and buy my Vodka! I don't care what she does with the
> > rest of her money. What's hers is hers, what's mine is hers. I always
> > have money in my pants pocket, which she's welcome to take from. I
> > don't know. I don't count it. I'm not quitting 'til they light the fire
> > under me.

> I don't know what that has to do with anything.

You don't have to. I do!

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!
I've known US vets who served as far back as the Spanish American War.
They are all my heroes! Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops.
You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~

dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishie99@yahoo.com> wrote:
> PS: Nick I'm not criticizing you for being a drinker. It seems like
> you might have taken it that way.
>
> I'm actually not interested in that, and lots of other people already
> expressed their concern about your blood test results, and I
> couldn;t really add anything to that. I'm not a diabetic expert.
> I'm still learning and weaking my own approach to it, and will
> be for some time.
>
> I'm glad for you that you have someone to take care of you
> and clean out your cage though. That kind of thing helps.

I didn't take it that way. My attitudes are a combination of the streets of
da Bronx, a loving extended family that brought me up, and a lot of stupid
decisions I made as a younger adult. I'm far from perfect, but I'm not as
much of a jerk as I used to be. There's that word again. Takes on to know
one!

We're all learning about diabetes, df. Experience shared with those who've
been there and listening/learning from their experience, is the best
teacher.

I married Jun after 14 years of celibacy. I'm very lucky, indeed. I know
it, and I make sure she knows it.

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!
I've known US vets who served as far back as the Spanish American War.
They are all my heroes! Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops.
You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~

On Jun 29, 8:16*am, Nick Cramer <n_cramerS...@pacbell.net> wrote:
> dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishi...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > On Jun 29, 1:37=A0am, Nick Cramer <n_cramerS...@pacbell.net> wrote:
> > > dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishi...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > > Excuse me for saying so, but it might be best not to give snowball
> > > > advice on her marriage. [ . . . ] - she could focus
> > > > on doing good things for herself, sort of like the wives of
> > > > alcoholics have to do.
>
> > > Excuse me for saying so, but it might be best not to give me advice on
> > > [] No one has to like or take my advice!
>
> > Excuse me for saying so, but on a public forum it might be best
> > to realize that anybody can say anything they want, and that you
> > may not be considering the whole picture. Also, criticizing
> > her husband for being a jerk is probably not the most helpful
> > thing to do. If the wife of an alcoholic goes to an alanon
> > meeting, the people won't tell her her husband is a jerk.
> > No, they will tell her to focus on doing good things for herself.
> > This is similar in a way.
>
> I drink a pint of Vodka a day. I've been drinking at that level for over 50
> years. That makes me an alcoholic in many peope's eyes. I am, nonetheless,
> a good husband, father and grandfather, if I do say so myself.
>
> > You do not know very much at all about her marriage. *. If the husband
> > has so much anger about her "nagging" him, gee, did you think there
> > might be other issues going on here that she didn't mention?
> > And she woull be right not to, because after all, this forum is
> > about getting help with health problems.
>
> I don't need to know anything more than what she posted to reply to what
> she posted. I calls 'em as I sees 'em! Based on my reading of her post, her
> husband is a jerk. I was talking to her, not to you. If you don't like what
> I say, you know what you can do.


So you expect that you can criticize her husband, knowing as little as
you do,
but nobody is allowed to "call it as they see it" to you? right, ok.

Ok, I'm calling it as I see it to you anyway. If you don;t like it
you know what you
can do right back.

You don''t know enough about the situation to call anything anything,
how about
that? You know you don't.

dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishie99@yahoo.com> wrote:
> On Jun 29, 8:16=A0am, Nick Cramer <n_cramerS...@pacbell.net> wrote:
> > dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishi...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > On Jun 29, 1:37=3DA0am, Nick Cramer <n_cramerS...@pacbell.net> wrote:
> > > > dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishi...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > > > [ . . . ]
> So you expect that you can criticize her husband, knowing as little as
> you do,
> but nobody is allowed to "call it as they see it" to you? right, ok.

As you said, this is a public forum. Everyone is free to say what they
wish.

> Ok, I'm calling it as I see it to you anyway. If you don;t like it
> you know what you can do right back.

Yes. I do.

> You don''t know enough about the situation to call anything anything,
> how about that? You know you don't.

I'm glad you think you know what I do and do not know, df. Do you know that
I find this particular thread-drift boring and tedious?

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!
I've known US vets who served as far back as the Spanish American War.
They are all my heroes! Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops.
You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~

On 29 Jun 2008 15:16:28 GMT, Nick Cramer <n_cramerSPAM@pacbell.net>
wrote:

>dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishie99@yahoo.com> wrote:
>> On Jun 29, 1:37=A0am, Nick Cramer <n_cramerS...@pacbell.net> wrote:
>> > dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishi...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>> > > Excuse me for saying so, but it might be best not to give snowball
>> > > advice on her marriage. [ . . . ] - she could focus
>> > > on doing good things for herself, sort of like the wives of
>> > > alcoholics have to do.
>> >
>> > Excuse me for saying so, but it might be best not to give me advice on
>> > [] No one has to like or take my advice!
>>
>> Excuse me for saying so, but on a public forum it might be best
>> to realize that anybody can say anything they want, and that you
>> may not be considering the whole picture. Also, criticizing
>> her husband for being a jerk is probably not the most helpful
>> thing to do. If the wife of an alcoholic goes to an alanon
>> meeting, the people won't tell her her husband is a jerk.
>> No, they will tell her to focus on doing good things for herself.
>> This is similar in a way.
>
>I drink a pint of Vodka a day. I've been drinking at that level for over 50
>years. That makes me an alcoholic in many peope's eyes. I am, nonetheless,
>a good husband, father and grandfather, if I do say so myself.
>
>> You do not know very much at all about her marriage. . If the husband
>> has so much anger about her "nagging" him, gee, did you think there
>> might be other issues going on here that she didn't mention?
>> And she woull be right not to, because after all, this forum is
>> about getting help with health problems.
>
>I don't need to know anything more than what she posted to reply to what
>she posted. I calls 'em as I sees 'em! Based on my reading of her post, her
>husband is a jerk. I was talking to her, not to you. If you don't like what
>I say, you know what you can do.
>
>> > My wife works hard to buy and cook my food, clean out my cage and my
>> > dirty clothes and buy my Vodka! I don't care what she does with the
>> > rest of her money. What's hers is hers, what's mine is hers. I always
>> > have money in my pants pocket, which she's welcome to take from. I
>> > don't know. I don't count it. I'm not quitting 'til they light the fire
>> > under me.
>
>> I don't know what that has to do with anything.
>
>You don't have to. I do!

Nick, I do not enjoy alcohol so I never use it except
a few times in the Army. Some people handle
it very well but overall it is very destructive to
so many. as are many other items.

A couple of nights we had a knock at our door A neghbor was there
requestng to use our phone. Her dopey son was threatening to kill
her for her insurance money. He had wrecked her house. She called the
police. A very sad situation. It hurt to see this frail lady shaking.

That is one reason, I oppose any mind altering item.

J keep a sotgun loaded with large shot to protect my house.

I learned that I have the right to kill to protect myself while I
was in the Army.

My neighborhood is normal quiet but the woman acquired this
house in a divorce.


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Nick Cramer wrote in message

>I don't need to know anything more than what she posted to reply to
what
>she posted. I calls 'em as I sees 'em! Based on my reading of her
post, her
>husband is a jerk. I was talking to her, not to you. If you don't
like what
>I say, you know what you can do.


Except in an open forum, we're always talking to *anybody* who chooses
to read and post their thoughts. :-)

Cheri

"Cheri" <gserviceatinreachdotcom> wrote:
> Nick Cramer wrote in message
>
> >I don't need to know anything more than what she posted to reply to
> what
> >she posted. I calls 'em as I sees 'em! Based on my reading of her
> post, her
> >husband is a jerk. I was talking to her, not to you. If you don't
> like what
> >I say, you know what you can do.
>
> Except in an open forum, we're always talking to *anybody* who chooses
> to read and post their thoughts. :-)

Thanks, Cheri. I thought that's what I said. Anyone who doesn't like what
I say can killfile me or put up with me. ;-)

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!
I've known US vets who served as far back as the Spanish American War.
They are all my heroes! Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops.
You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~

On Jun 29, 8:34*am, Nick Cramer <n_cramerS...@pacbell.net> wrote:
> dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishi...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > PS: Nick I'm not criticizing you for being a drinker. *It seems like
> > you might have taken it that way.
>
> > I'm actually not interested in that, and lots of other people already
> > expressed their concern about your blood test results, and I
> > couldn;t really add anything to that. *I'm not a diabetic expert.
> > I'm still learning and weaking my own approach to it, and will
> > be for some time.
>
> > I'm glad for you that you have someone to take care of you
> > and clean out your cage though. *That kind of thing helps.
>
> I didn't take it that way. My attitudes are a combination of the streets of
> da Bronx, a loving extended family that brought me up, and a lot of stupid
> decisions I made as a younger adult. I'm far from perfect, but I'm not as
> much of a jerk as I used to be. There's that word again. Takes on to know
> one!

It's ok that you feel that way.

I used that with my alcoholic sister, and she couldn't handle it.
It's one of the standard methods for dealing with alcoholics.
Caused my sister to really lose it. Conclusion: there isn't
much that does work with alcoholics, other than to stay away.


So, dear OP, please keep that in mind and never mind about
Nick's telling you your husband is a jerk.


>
> We're all learning about diabetes, df. Experience shared with those who've
> been there and listening/learning from their experience, is the best
> teacher.

to the OP: I'm sorry this thread degenerated. I was thinking of
suggesting
to you that you simply feed the man low carb food without dicsussing
it with
him, but since he's on insulin, that would be very tricky, possibly
even
dangerous if he doesn't check his bg's.

dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishie99@yahoo.com> wrote:
> On Jun 29, 8:34=A0am, Nick Cramer <n_cramerS...@pacbell.net> wrote:
> > dumb_fishie99 <dumb_fishi...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > [ . . . ] Conclusion: there isn't much that does work with
> > > alcoholics, other than to stay away.

Good advice. Why not follow it.

> So, dear OP, please keep that in mind and never mind about
> Nick's telling you your husband is a jerk.

Never mind dumb_fishie99's advice about me. Make up your own mind!

Plonk!

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!
I've known