Losing my mind

Hi everyone.

First, I need to thank everyone on this group for being the wonderful
and supportive people that you are. Next, I need to apologize for the
ranting and whining I am about to embark upon, but I need to vent. No
need to respond because there's nothing you can probably say to make
me feel better anyway. I just need to get this out. Please don't think
I'm a total nutcase all the time, although I have been acting like one
these last 24 hours or so.

I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.

I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
energetic when I wake up.

Mentally, is another story. I thought everything was going good and
then something stupid totally sent me into an emotional tailspin
yeterday and I have not been able to set my brain right since. Really,
it was stupid. As I was leaving work yesterday, an @ss who parks next
to me (assigned parking) b*tched that I didn't know how to park. (I
did park crooked -- in a freakin boat of a Ford Exporer, the only car
the rental company had available while my car is in the shop for
bodywork after the deer crash.) Anyway, I totally lost it -- not in
front of him, fortunately. I started bawling about it as if it matters
what this jerk thinks of my parking skills.

Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
(Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
up in my eyes.

So ... I went home and called a friend of mine who I thought would
understand. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then proceeded
to describe in great detail a chocolate-rum-crepe dessert she had on
vacation in Mexico last week. It was horrible.

So ... I called my best friend who responded that diabetes isn't so
bad. She knows someone who has diabetes and drinks these delicious low-
carb banana milkshakes every day. Seriously, THAT was what she had to
say. I wanted to scream. A banana milkshake is not going to resolve my
concerns about going blind, dying young, having to freakin exercise
every day which I hate to do. (Yes, I realize that my concerns are
somewhat exaggerated and I am thinking of worst-case scenarios, but
the point is that she didn't get it at all.)

Anyway, while I was talking to her I was making two different low-carb
recipes. I'm not good at doing two things at once and in the middle of
this my neighbor showed up to visit, so I actually had three things
going on at once. I ended up screwing up both recipes. I put mayonaise
in the strawberry-creamcheese-coolwhip dessert mixture by accident
when it was supposed to go in the other recipe. Seriously. I am losing
it. I feel like I could start crying again right now and I'm not even
sure why.

On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now? Or maybe it's
psychological? (As you see, I'm not quite psychologically stable at
the moment, so it could be that.)

So ... I'm really struggling now.

Thanks for reading this.

-tracie

Tracie,

Phil here, T2x4yrs and a new poster here. I'm gonna snip a lot of
your rant, not because I don't agree with it but just for size.
Please forgive me for so doing?

I'm not a fully compliant eater, OK, and I don't know how bad your A1C
was at last test. But ... I'm finding there are some foods I can get
the pleasant full feeling from, without going off diet. I'm learning
slowly, you know. I thought I'd pass a bit of this on to you and hope
it helps.

There are people, I'm sure, who exercise iron control on their diets.
I'm not one of them. But I've found that I have a lot less food
issues if I eat snacks (apples, the occasional banana) on a regular
basis during the day and avoid feeling _hungry_. I do, however, have
to almost totally avoid caffeine (I was a Diet Coke Junkie) in order
to keep my A1C under control. I do occasionally eat potato chips,
pretzels, etc., but mostly stay away from baked goods. What works
best for me (and I don't always do it!) is to have Fiber One or
oatmeal for breakfast, a scrambled egg midmorning every couple of days
(I used to have a sausage as well but had to stop after the latest
tests!), an apple before lunch (and postpone lunch until I'm starting
to feel hungry, then eat at my desk), another apple or banana a couple
of hours later (preferably just before starting the long commute
home). I'm not suggesting this schedule for you; I'm suggesting that
you schedule something for yourself that attacks the hunger and low-
blood-sugar by regular smaller meals of simple cheap high-fiber food,
and see if that fits into your diet plan.

> On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
> yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
> hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
> Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
> haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
> vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
> better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
> eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now? Or maybe it's
> psychological? (As you see, I'm not quite psychologically stable at
> the moment, so it could be that.)
On the dizzy thing. You're right, dizzy/cloudy is my way to describe
my normal low-blood-sugar reaction. NOT psychological.

On the depression: Depression (and denial) are common reactions to
The Diagnosis. If it doesn't fade in a couple of weeks, see a
professional counselor. If you can find one who is also diabetic and
will _understand_, that would be best, but find someone you can
connect with. Depression is both a situational reaction to some sucky
news (pardon) and one of the side effects of Diabetes, and a lot of
diabetics have to take antidepressant medication. You probably aren't
one of them, at least not yet, but I think seeing a counselor and
describing your feelings (especially if you ever find yourself
thinking suicidal thoughts, or find yourself unable to shake the
worries about Diabetes and engage in everyday activity) would be
useful if they continue.

Again, I hope this helps.

Phil S., the New Jersey Badger
Database Geek and general busybody.

On Jun 27, 11:47*am, traly...@aol.com wrote:
> Hi everyone.
>
> I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
> well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
> wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.
>
> I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
> find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
> actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
> energetic when I wake up.
>
> Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
> some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
> (Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
> walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
> thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
> up in my eyes.
[snippage]
>
> So ... I'm really struggling now.
>
> Thanks for reading this.
>
> -tracie

In article
<61bc329d-1b95-4edb-94a5-80b0f29bd186@34g2000hsh.googlegroups.com>,
tralyn88@aol.com wrote:

> So ... I'm really struggling now.

Hi, Tracie!

It sounds to me like you're going through a very normal stage of
adapting to your diagnosis. I think that when we're first diagnosed we
may have at least a couple of things going on. We may be in shock about
the diagnosis, and we may be grieving the loss of our self-image as
non-diabetic people. Kubler-Ross's stages of grieving can often be seen
when grieving a loss such as ours. We may bargain, become depressed,
get angry, reach some kind of acceptance, and then go back to one of the
other stages around and around and around until we settle down into long
term acceptance. That's perfectly normal, but it ain't fun!

Please remind yourself that what you're going through is to be expected
and will not last forever. This is how the psyche adapts, by circling
around and around before it totally clicks over. Feels crazy-making,
but it's actually a healthy psyche at work.

As for your friends. Well, sometimes even the best people can act
stupid and inconsiderate when they don't know what to do. I don't have
any suggestions there except maybe to focus on helping yourself get
through this transition time and then, when you're feeling more solid,
maybe try telling them exactly what you need from them at the top of
conversations. That may help both you and them. I bet they love you
but don't know how to show it right now.

Anyway, hang in. This won't last forever. OK, the diabetes will, but
your attitude towards it will change as you get used to it. Maybe find
some ways to pamper yourself right now? Long sweet-smelling baths? A
good mystery novel? That pair of earrings you've been coveting?

As the magnet on my fridge says, "Everything will be OK in the end. If
it's not OK, it's not the end."

Priscilla, T2

On Fri, 27 Jun 2008 08:47:14 -0700 (PDT), tralyn88@aol.com wrote:

>I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
>well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
>wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.

Tracie, I spent about 6 weeks alternately crying my eyes out and
yelling at people... it comes with the territory atm. First, you've
just had a diagnosis of a chronic disease with potentially horrible
complications and/or an early death. THIS IS NOT THE WAY IT HAS TO BE
but your hindbrain doesn't know that, so it's in mourning for the
pre-dx you. Shocks like the deer, or the jerk in the car park, are
big-time overload right now - any little thing can set you off; let it
happen, wash over you if possible, it'll pass. As for the grocery
aisles - it took me at least 3 months to let muffins in the house. Now
I'm blase about it and can cook carb-laden things without even wanting
them - as you've discovered, there's some darn good low-carb stuff out
there!

>So ... I went home and called a friend of mine

....I generally find it best to be extremely blunt about things - along
the lines of, "No thankyou, I don't want to hear about your high carb
pudding right now because I can never eat that again and I would find
your description very hurtful." You usually then need to move on to
"No, thankyou, I don't want even a little slice, because that would be
enough to do nerve or eye damage, and I don't want that to happen."
Some friends, I can actually plot low-carb menus with now. Other
friends, I take my own food to their house. I lost a couple of friends
- but gained some new ones, too.

>On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
>yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
>hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
>Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
>haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
>vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
>better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
>eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now?

Is a hypo - or maybe a false hypo. A false hypo is hypo symptoms at a
higher bg than a truly damaging hypo, and they happen either because
your bg is changing fast, or because your body is used to operating at
one (too high) level, and needs a bit of time to adjust to normal
operating levels. If you can, test; if you can tough out a false hypo,
it can help your body to reset its bg thermostat. But ALWAYS treat a
real hypo, or hypo feelings, if not feeling absolutely on top of your
game will put you in danger - about to drive, for instance. The
classic rule is to take 15g carbs, wait 15 mins, and reassess.

You'll do fine, kiddo - you're reacting in exactly the right way,
absorbing the theory, and applying like mad. But it's a hell of a
ride; we promise we'll try and help smooth the road, but it is a bit
of a bumpy ride, for a bit.

Nicky.
T2 dx 05/04 + underactive thyroid
D&E, 100ug thyroxine
Last A1c 5.4% BMI 25

On Fri, 27 Jun 2008 10:07:36 -0700 (PDT), psevetson
<psevetson@gmail.com> wrote:

>What works
>best for me (and I don't always do it!) is to have Fiber One or
>oatmeal for breakfast, a scrambled egg midmorning every couple of days
>(I used to have a sausage as well but had to stop after the latest
>tests!),

Phil, what happens to your bg if you dump the oatmeal and have the
sausage with your egg?

Nicky.
T2 dx 05/04 + underactive thyroid
D&E, 100ug thyroxine
Last A1c 5.4% BMI 25

On Fri, 27 Jun 2008 10:07:36 -0700 (PDT), psevetson
<psevetson@gmail.com> wrote:

>There are people, I'm sure, who exercise iron control on their diets.
>I'm not one of them. But I've found that I have a lot less food
>issues if I eat snacks (apples, the occasional banana) on a regular
>basis during the day and avoid feeling _hungry_.

Banana?! - wow, they're pretty well pure carb, if I ever meet a
diabetic who can eat one without spiking through the roof, I will be
seriously envious... but I totally agree on the not-going-hungry
front. I find protein - a hunk of sausage, handful of almonds, a piece
of Brie - is a great, filling snack. At dx, I used to get liver dumps
within 10 mins of the first hunger pang, and they would literally
double my bg if I didn't eat; not being hungry was very, very
important to me. I lost (and am maintaining) 25Kg on that kind of
regime, plus meals with more protein and a ton of non-starchy veggies.
Plus the odd low-carb brownie, cheesecake, etc : ) Apples, which
generally have around 17g each, are higher than I like as a snack, but
great to put in my pocket when I'm doing a long walk. Berries seem to
be safe in any quantity. This morning, my husband looked at my plate
with a low-carb waffle, a handful of blueberries, a spoonful of creme
frais and a squeeze of LC maple syrup, and stole it!! Low carb does
not mean poor or tasteless eating.

Nicky.
T2 dx 05/04 + underactive thyroid
D&E, 100ug thyroxine
Last A1c 5.4% BMI 25

Banana! Yikes! I didn't know and I just ate one with lunch thinking
this was a good choice. I'm still getting to know the glycemic index,
etc.

Thanks for all the support. I think I would be in some serious trouble
without this newsgroup. I am so thankful it is here. I can't imagine
going through this 20 years ago before the Internet.

I am feeling a lot better at the moment and I am taking some of your
suggestions already including, first, the idea of giving myself a
treat! :-) :-) :-) I just scheduled a 90-minute massage for
Sunday morning. The ultimate treat! Ahhh. I can't wait.

In article
<61bc329d-1b95-4edb-94a5-80b0f29bd186@34g2000hsh.googlegroups.com>,
tralyn88@aol.com wrote:

> Hi everyone.
>
> First, I need to thank everyone on this group for being the wonderful
> and supportive people that you are. Next, I need to apologize for the
> ranting and whining I am about to embark upon, but I need to vent. No
> need to respond because there's nothing you can probably say to make
> me feel better anyway. I just need to get this out. Please don't think
> I'm a total nutcase all the time, although I have been acting like one
> these last 24 hours or so.
>
> I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
> well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
> wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.
>
> I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
> find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
> actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
> energetic when I wake up.
>
> Mentally, is another story. I thought everything was going good and
> then something stupid totally sent me into an emotional tailspin
> yeterday and I have not been able to set my brain right since. Really,
> it was stupid. As I was leaving work yesterday, an @ss who parks next
> to me (assigned parking) b*tched that I didn't know how to park. (I
> did park crooked -- in a freakin boat of a Ford Exporer, the only car
> the rental company had available while my car is in the shop for
> bodywork after the deer crash.) Anyway, I totally lost it -- not in
> front of him, fortunately. I started bawling about it as if it matters
> what this jerk thinks of my parking skills.

This is all totally, totally natural. It's a kind of mourning.
>
> Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
> some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
> (Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
> walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
> thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
> up in my eyes.

I survived this stage on avocadoes. In other words, I worked out all of
the treat-like foods that *wouldn't* raise my blood sugar, and indulged
in them, regardless of cost.
>
> So ... I went home and called a friend of mine who I thought would
> understand. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then proceeded
> to describe in great detail a chocolate-rum-crepe dessert she had on
> vacation in Mexico last week. It was horrible.

If she does that again, tell her it would give you kidney failure. Sure,
it's an exaggeration, but you have to impress upon your friends that
this *is* serious, and you value your kidneys and eyes.
>
> So ... I called my best friend who responded that diabetes isn't so
> bad. She knows someone who has diabetes and drinks these delicious low-
> carb banana milkshakes every day. Seriously, THAT was what she had to
> say. I wanted to scream. A banana milkshake is not going to resolve my
> concerns about going blind, dying young, having to freakin exercise
> every day which I hate to do. (Yes, I realize that my concerns are
> somewhat exaggerated and I am thinking of worst-case scenarios, but
> the point is that she didn't get it at all.)

The hardest part of this is convincing well-meaning friends that most
foods marketed as "diabetic-friendly" aren't, at all. I have a friend
who, when I invite her for dinner, asks what she can bring. I always
tell her wine, or bread, if she wants bread. She always brings some
chemically baked goods that are high in carbs and laxatives. I don't
know how many times I've told her that I can't eat those! She's well
meaning, but I hate to throw out good food that I can't eat.
>
> Anyway, while I was talking to her I was making two different low-carb
> recipes. I'm not good at doing two things at once and in the middle of
> this my neighbor showed up to visit, so I actually had three things
> going on at once. I ended up screwing up both recipes. I put mayonaise
> in the strawberry-creamcheese-coolwhip dessert mixture by accident
> when it was supposed to go in the other recipe. Seriously. I am losing
> it. I feel like I could start crying again right now and I'm not even
> sure why.

Well, there are chocolate cake recipes with mayonaise, so this isn't
necessarily a disaster.
>
> On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
> yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
> hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
> Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
> haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
> vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
> better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
> eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now? Or maybe it's
> psychological? (As you see, I'm not quite psychologically stable at
> the moment, so it could be that.)

Totally normal. As you normalize your blood sugars, instead of running
chronically high, you're having fluctuations. Either a fall in blood
sugar or a low blood sugar can give you these symptoms.
>
> So ... I'm really struggling now.

We've all been there. It really does get better.

--
"[xxx] has very definite opinions, and does not suffer fools lightly.
This, apparently, upsets the fools."
---BB cuts to the pith of a flame-fest

Your blood gluccose levels effect mood for sure..i was evil mean pre dx and
"fragile" right after ..but once i got my levels stable i was fine..it is
like anything..just takes a bit of effort and time and things will be ok.

KROM

<tralyn88@aol.com> wrote in message
news:61bc329d-1b95-4edb-94a5-80b0f29bd186@34g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
> Hi everyone.
>
> First, I need to thank everyone on this group for being the wonderful
> and supportive people that you are. Next, I need to apologize for the
> ranting and whining I am about to embark upon, but I need to vent. No
> need to respond because there's nothing you can probably say to make
> me feel better anyway. I just need to get this out. Please don't think
> I'm a total nutcase all the time, although I have been acting like one
> these last 24 hours or so.
>
> I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
> well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
> wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.
>
> I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
> find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
> actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
> energetic when I wake up.
>
> Mentally, is another story. I thought everything was going good and
> then something stupid totally sent me into an emotional tailspin
> yeterday and I have not been able to set my brain right since. Really,
> it was stupid. As I was leaving work yesterday, an @ss who parks next
> to me (assigned parking) b*tched that I didn't know how to park. (I
> did park crooked -- in a freakin boat of a Ford Exporer, the only car
> the rental company had available while my car is in the shop for
> bodywork after the deer crash.) Anyway, I totally lost it -- not in
> front of him, fortunately. I started bawling about it as if it matters
> what this jerk thinks of my parking skills.
>
> Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
> some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
> (Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
> walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
> thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
> up in my eyes.
>
> So ... I went home and called a friend of mine who I thought would
> understand. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then proceeded
> to describe in great detail a chocolate-rum-crepe dessert she had on
> vacation in Mexico last week. It was horrible.
>
> So ... I called my best friend who responded that diabetes isn't so
> bad. She knows someone who has diabetes and drinks these delicious low-
> carb banana milkshakes every day. Seriously, THAT was what she had to
> say. I wanted to scream. A banana milkshake is not going to resolve my
> concerns about going blind, dying young, having to freakin exercise
> every day which I hate to do. (Yes, I realize that my concerns are
> somewhat exaggerated and I am thinking of worst-case scenarios, but
> the point is that she didn't get it at all.)
>
> Anyway, while I was talking to her I was making two different low-carb
> recipes. I'm not good at doing two things at once and in the middle of
> this my neighbor showed up to visit, so I actually had three things
> going on at once. I ended up screwing up both recipes. I put mayonaise
> in the strawberry-creamcheese-coolwhip dessert mixture by accident
> when it was supposed to go in the other recipe. Seriously. I am losing
> it. I feel like I could start crying again right now and I'm not even
> sure why.
>
> On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
> yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
> hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
> Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
> haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
> vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
> better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
> eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now? Or maybe it's
> psychological? (As you see, I'm not quite psychologically stable at
> the moment, so it could be that.)
>
> So ... I'm really struggling now.
>
> Thanks for reading this.
>
> -tracie

On Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:06:43 -0700 (PDT), tralyn88@aol.com wrote:

>Banana! Yikes! I didn't know and I just ate one with lunch thinking
>this was a good choice. I'm still getting to know the glycemic index,
>etc.

Problem with the GI is that we're all so damn idiosyncratic, you've
got to work out your own personal one... an example; oatmeal, apples,
carrots all ought to be fine, they're all low glycemic load. Last time
I ate oatmeal, my bg was in ER territory (no exaggeration) - but a
couple of people here can eat it without a bother. Carrots, I can eat
tons of them, cooked or raw - but others can't. Apples I eat in
moderation; but the tiniest amount spikes Krom. It's why we're so keen
on test,test,test - because you literally have to find out what
EVERYTHING does to you, for a while.

> I just scheduled a 90-minute massage for
>Sunday morning. The ultimate treat! Ahhh. I can't wait.

Oo! Envy! Enjoy

Nicky.
T2 dx 05/04 + underactive thyroid
D&E, 100ug thyroxine
Last A1c 5.4% BMI 25

<tralyn88@aol.com> wrote in message
news:61bc329d-1b95-4edb-94a5-80b0f29bd186@34g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
> Hi everyone.
>
> First, I need to thank everyone on this group for being the wonderful
> and supportive people that you are. Next, I need to apologize for the
> ranting and whining I am about to embark upon, but I need to vent. No
> need to respond because there's nothing you can probably say to make
> me feel better anyway. I just need to get this out. Please don't think
> I'm a total nutcase all the time, although I have been acting like one
> these last 24 hours or so.
>
> I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
> well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
> wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.
>
> I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
> find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
> actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
> energetic when I wake up.
>
> Mentally, is another story. I thought everything was going good and
> then something stupid totally sent me into an emotional tailspin
> yeterday and I have not been able to set my brain right since. Really,
> it was stupid. As I was leaving work yesterday, an @ss who parks next
> to me (assigned parking) b*tched that I didn't know how to park. (I
> did park crooked -- in a freakin boat of a Ford Exporer, the only car
> the rental company had available while my car is in the shop for
> bodywork after the deer crash.) Anyway, I totally lost it -- not in
> front of him, fortunately. I started bawling about it as if it matters
> what this jerk thinks of my parking skills.
>
> Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
> some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
> (Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
> walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
> thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
> up in my eyes.
>
> So ... I went home and called a friend of mine who I thought would
> understand. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then proceeded
> to describe in great detail a chocolate-rum-crepe dessert she had on
> vacation in Mexico last week. It was horrible.
>
> So ... I called my best friend who responded that diabetes isn't so
> bad. She knows someone who has diabetes and drinks these delicious low-
> carb banana milkshakes every day. Seriously, THAT was what she had to
> say. I wanted to scream. A banana milkshake is not going to resolve my
> concerns about going blind, dying young, having to freakin exercise
> every day which I hate to do. (Yes, I realize that my concerns are
> somewhat exaggerated and I am thinking of worst-case scenarios, but
> the point is that she didn't get it at all.)
>
> Anyway, while I was talking to her I was making two different low-carb
> recipes. I'm not good at doing two things at once and in the middle of
> this my neighbor showed up to visit, so I actually had three things
> going on at once. I ended up screwing up both recipes. I put mayonaise
> in the strawberry-creamcheese-coolwhip dessert mixture by accident
> when it was supposed to go in the other recipe. Seriously. I am losing
> it. I feel like I could start crying again right now and I'm not even
> sure why.
>
> On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
> yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
> hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
> Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
> haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
> vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
> better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
> eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now? Or maybe it's
> psychological? (As you see, I'm not quite psychologically stable at
> the moment, so it could be that.)
>
> So ... I'm really struggling now.
>
> Thanks for reading this.

When I was first diagnosed, I didn't know what to eat. Yes, I was given a
long list of safe foods, but it was a very bad photocopy that was two pages
long. It was so blurry and smeary that I couldn't make out most of it. I
could make out the word "cabbage:" so I picked up a head of that. And also
some diet soda. I remember walking through the grocery store with those two
items and tears in my eyes. I saw the words "evil" and "poison" stamped on
all the other foods.

Things got worse after the visit to the dietician. Yes, she explained the
various foods better, but she also said I had to be on an eating schedule
and could not deviate my meals by as much as 5 minutes. I was not good at
fixing some of these complicated (and mostly yucky) recipes I got from
diabetic cookbooks and my meals were never on time. So I just didn't eat.
I thought if I missed my meal time, I couldn't eat. Went for two hungry
weeks thinking that!

When I was first put on meds, I had a LOT of hypos. I sat in the recliner,
passing out, seemingly at random. My daughter was a baby and my parents had
to come to take care of her because I couldn't. I was sick for about two
weeks. Didn't leave the house at all. That was a horrible time.

Expect your eyesight to get blurry off and on too. That will happen as your
BG stabilizes.

It does get better with time. But it might take a long time. It was
several years before I would go to movies or other social events where there
was food. I just couldn't handle being around people who were eating what I
could not.

On Fri, 27 Jun 2008 08:47:14 -0700 (PDT), tralyn88@aol.com wrote:

>Hi everyone.
>
>First, I need to thank everyone on this group for being the wonderful
>and supportive people that you are. Next, I need to apologize for the
>ranting and whining I am about to embark upon, but I need to vent. No
>need to respond because there's nothing you can probably say to make
>me feel better anyway. I just need to get this out. Please don't think
>I'm a total nutcase all the time, although I have been acting like one
>these last 24 hours or so.
>
>I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
>well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
>wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.

Oh deer.

>I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
>find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
>actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
>energetic when I wake up.

This is good.

>Mentally, is another story. I thought everything was going good and
>then something stupid totally sent me into an emotional tailspin
>yeterday and I have not been able to set my brain right since. Really,
>it was stupid. As I was leaving work yesterday, an @ss who parks next
>to me (assigned parking) b*tched that I didn't know how to park. (I
>did park crooked -- in a freakin boat of a Ford Exporer, the only car
>the rental company had available while my car is in the shop for
>bodywork after the deer crash.) Anyway, I totally lost it -- not in
>front of him, fortunately. I started bawling about it as if it matters
>what this jerk thinks of my parking skills.
>
>Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
>some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
>(Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
>walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
>thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
>up in my eyes.

Don't concentrate on what you can't eat, try to think about what you
*can* eat instead. It'll take time, but I can honestly say I've never
eaten so well, and I don't really miss my muesli and bread and rice
much at all becuase I'm eating something else instead.

>So ... I went home and called a friend of mine who I thought would
>understand. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then proceeded
>to describe in great detail a chocolate-rum-crepe dessert she had on
>vacation in Mexico last week. It was horrible.
>
>So ... I called my best friend who responded that diabetes isn't so
>bad. She knows someone who has diabetes and drinks these delicious low-
>carb banana milkshakes every day. Seriously, THAT was what she had to
>say. I wanted to scream. A banana milkshake is not going to resolve my
>concerns about going blind, dying young, having to freakin exercise
>every day which I hate to do. (Yes, I realize that my concerns are
>somewhat exaggerated and I am thinking of worst-case scenarios, but
>the point is that she didn't get it at all.)
>
>Anyway, while I was talking to her I was making two different low-carb
>recipes. I'm not good at doing two things at once and in the middle of
>this my neighbor showed up to visit, so I actually had three things
>going on at once. I ended up screwing up both recipes. I put mayonaise
>in the strawberry-creamcheese-coolwhip dessert mixture by accident
>when it was supposed to go in the other recipe. Seriously. I am losing
>it. I feel like I could start crying again right now and I'm not even
>sure why.
>
>On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
>yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
>hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
>Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
>haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
>vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
>better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
>eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now? Or maybe it's
>psychological? (As you see, I'm not quite psychologically stable at
>the moment, so it could be that.)

Your body hasn't gotten used to normality yet, it's panicking about
what it thinks is a low but isn't actually. Once your thermostat gets
reset this will be much rarer.

>So ... I'm really struggling now.
>
>Thanks for reading this.

It Will Get Better.

<tralyn88@aol.com> wrote in message
news:61bc329d-1b95-4edb-94a5-80b0f29bd186@34g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
> Hi everyone.
>
> First, I need to thank everyone on this group for being the wonderful
> and supportive people that you are. Next, I need to apologize for the
> ranting and whining I am about to embark upon, but I need to vent. No
> need to respond because there's nothing you can probably say to make
> me feel better anyway. I just need to get this out. Please don't think
> I'm a total nutcase all the time, although I have been acting like one
> these last 24 hours or so.
>
> I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
> well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
> wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.
>
> I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
> find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
> actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
> energetic when I wake up.
>
> Mentally, is another story. I thought everything was going good and
> then something stupid totally sent me into an emotional tailspin
> yeterday and I have not been able to set my brain right since. Really,
> it was stupid. As I was leaving work yesterday, an @ss who parks next
> to me (assigned parking) b*tched that I didn't know how to park. (I
> did park crooked -- in a freakin boat of a Ford Exporer, the only car
> the rental company had available while my car is in the shop for
> bodywork after the deer crash.) Anyway, I totally lost it -- not in
> front of him, fortunately. I started bawling about it as if it matters
> what this jerk thinks of my parking skills.
>
> Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
> some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
> (Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
> walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
> thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
> up in my eyes.
>
> So ... I went home and called a friend of mine who I thought would
> understand. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then proceeded
> to describe in great detail a chocolate-rum-crepe dessert she had on
> vacation in Mexico last week. It was horrible.
>
> So ... I called my best friend who responded that diabetes isn't so
> bad. She knows someone who has diabetes and drinks these delicious low-
> carb banana milkshakes every day. Seriously, THAT was what she had to
> say. I wanted to scream. A banana milkshake is not going to resolve my
> concerns about going blind, dying young, having to freakin exercise
> every day which I hate to do. (Yes, I realize that my concerns are
> somewhat exaggerated and I am thinking of worst-case scenarios, but
> the point is that she didn't get it at all.)
>
> Anyway, while I was talking to her I was making two different low-carb
> recipes. I'm not good at doing two things at once and in the middle of
> this my neighbor showed up to visit, so I actually had three things
> going on at once. I ended up screwing up both recipes. I put mayonaise
> in the strawberry-creamcheese-coolwhip dessert mixture by accident
> when it was supposed to go in the other recipe. Seriously. I am losing
> it. I feel like I could start crying again right now and I'm not even
> sure why.
>
> On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
> yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
> hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
> Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
> haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
> vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
> better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
> eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now? Or maybe it's
> psychological? (As you see, I'm not quite psychologically stable at
> the moment, so it could be that.)
>
> So ... I'm really struggling now.
>
> Thanks for reading this.
>
> -tracie

Hello Tracie,

Part of what you're going through is what I've gone through, and what
other's here have experienced. You're already finding how many friends you
have here, and that is a good start. You'll not only get friendly support
here to your experiences with people, but also much useful information how
to manage and live with your diabetes - live a happy life without
necessarily getting any of the complications you are hearing about.

In my early days after diagnosis I was devastated mentally. Everywhere I
went I seemed to hear bad news about the future of a diabetic. Even the
"best of friends" would bring me stories of this or that uncle, this or that
brother, sister or mother, who had all sorts of gruesome things happen to
them as a result of their diabetes.

Well, yes, those gruesome things can happen - but not necessarily so if you
get stuck into it and manage your diabetes. First, of course, modify your
lifestyle by keeping fit and normal weight (which you have already done or
are trying to do). next, find out as much about your disease as you possibly
can. Soon you'll probably know more than your doctor does, and will be able
to determine what treatment (and what diet and exercise) is best for you.

Bad luck in joining the "diabetics' club", but congratulations on finding a
nice group of people here. Stand by for some useful and friendly
information!

Henry Mydlarz

In article
<4827470f-6063-4bed-96e9-d5ef1f12ad76@l42g2000hsc.googlegroups.com>,
tralyn88@aol.com wrote:

> Banana! Yikes! I didn't know and I just ate one with lunch thinking
> this was a good choice. I'm still getting to know the glycemic index,
> etc.

Your meter is an invaluable source of information about how certain
foods affect *you*. If you haven't seen it yet, I urge you to read:
http://www.alt-support-diabetes.org/NewlyDiagnosed.htm If you have seen
it, perhaps re-read it?

Priscilla, T2

<tralyn88@aol.com> wrote in message
news:61bc329d-1b95-4edb-94a5-80b0f29bd186@34g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
> Hi everyone.
>
> First, I need to thank everyone on this group for being the wonderful
> and supportive people that you are. Next, I need to apologize for the
> ranting and whining I am about to embark upon, but I need to vent. No
> need to respond because there's nothing you can probably say to make
> me feel better anyway. I just need to get this out. Please don't think
> I'm a total nutcase all the time, although I have been acting like one
> these last 24 hours or so.

Hey Tracie,

Everyone is a little nutty when first facing diabetes. That is normal.
You'd be a nutcase if you weren't a nutcase--if you get what I'm saying.
>
> I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
> well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
> wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.

Very scary.

>
> I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
> find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
> actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
> energetic when I wake up.

Sounds like a step in the right direction. :-)
>
> Mentally, is another story. I thought everything was going good and
> then something stupid totally sent me into an emotional tailspin
> yeterday and I have not been able to set my brain right since. Really,
> it was stupid. As I was leaving work yesterday, an @ss who parks next
> to me (assigned parking) b*tched that I didn't know how to park. (I
> did park crooked -- in a freakin boat of a Ford Exporer, the only car
> the rental company had available while my car is in the shop for
> bodywork after the deer crash.) Anyway, I totally lost it -- not in
> front of him, fortunately. I started bawling about it as if it matters
> what this jerk thinks of my parking skills.
>
> Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
> some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
> (Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
> walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
> thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
> up in my eyes.

It's a big, big adjustment--so much information to take in and apply.
Naturally, any added stressor like assh*ole parking critics are going to put
you over the top. And besides all the info to absorb, many newly diagnosed
start to look at themselves differently and feel like they are failures. I
know I did. But no, you'll find you are the same person you always were
with the same sense of humor, hobbies, etc. You are NOT a diabetic; you are
a person with diabetes. I know it seems like I'm mincing words, but there
is a world of difference.

>
> So ... I went home and called a friend of mine who I thought would
> understand. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then proceeded
> to describe in great detail a chocolate-rum-crepe dessert she had on
> vacation in Mexico last week. It was horrible.
>
> So ... I called my best friend who responded that diabetes isn't so
> bad. She knows someone who has diabetes and drinks these delicious low-
> carb banana milkshakes every day. Seriously, THAT was what she had to
> say. I wanted to scream. A banana milkshake is not going to resolve my
> concerns about going blind, dying young, having to freakin exercise
> every day which I hate to do. (Yes, I realize that my concerns are
> somewhat exaggerated and I am thinking of worst-case scenarios, but
> the point is that she didn't get it at all.)

I've found that some friends don't know how to react. It's scary to them
just the way it is scary to you. They really have no knowledge, so they
have nothing concrete to offer in the way of support. So they behave as if
it's no big deal (kind of like your friends did). Not having any knowledge,
they prefer to minimize the situation. It seems uncaring, but really it's
just that they don't want to think you of as not okay. They love you and
can't deal with it.

It these situations, it's difficult, because you're going to have to educate
them. Like telling the friend who talked about the dessert you can't eat
that you really don't want to hear about it because you can't share in the
enjoyment.

>
> Anyway, while I was talking to her I was making two different low-carb
> recipes. I'm not good at doing two things at once and in the middle of
> this my neighbor showed up to visit, so I actually had three things
> going on at once. I ended up screwing up both recipes. I put mayonaise
> in the strawberry-creamcheese-coolwhip dessert mixture by accident
> when it was supposed to go in the other recipe. Seriously. I am losing
> it. I feel like I could start crying again right now and I'm not even
> sure why.
>
> On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
> yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
> hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
> Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
> haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
> vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
> better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
> eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now? Or maybe it's
> psychological? (As you see, I'm not quite psychologically stable at
> the moment, so it could be that.)
>
> So ... I'm really struggling now.
>
> Thanks for reading this.
>
> -tracie

As others have said, your body may be adjusting to running a lower BG--and
it's protesting. When you get a glucometer, you'll be able to test and find
out if you're really having a hypo or if your body is just putting up a
fuss.

While we're all a little different on what we can tolerate--especially in
the veggie and fruit dept--until you get your glucometer, you probably want
to minimize the following foods in your diet: wheat products, rice,
potatoes, fruit juices (you might as well drink soda), bananas, grapes,
anything with cornstarch in it like gravies/sauces. I can't give
recommendations on other foods because we're all so variable. For example,
I can eat raw carrots with no problem, but cooked ones I have to limit.
You'll find your own "peculiarities" when you get your meter.

It's no fun at all to go through this adjustment period, but believe me,
you'll get the hang of everything and will do just fine. I predict that in
a few short months, you'll be one of those on ASD giving advice and support
to newbies. :-)
--
Best regards,
Michelle C., T2
diet & exercise
BMI 21.5

On Fri, 27 Jun 2008 08:47:14 -0700 (PDT), tralyn88@aol.com
wrote:

>I'm feeling very, very fragile.

The others said it all very well. So I'll just add a link
and let you know that it DOES get better. And yes, I've been
there and done that.

http://loraldiabetes.blogspot.com/2006/10/d-day.html


Cheers, Alan, T2, Australia.
--
d&e, metformin 1500mg, ezetrol 10mg
Everything in Moderation - Except Laughter.
http://loraldiabetes.blogspot.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/alan_s/
http://loraltravel.blogspot.com (On Indian Roads)

"Julie Bove" <juliebove@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:g43e22$sog$1@aioe.org...
>
> <tralyn88@aol.com> wrote in message
> news:61bc329d-1b95-4edb-94a5-80b0f29bd186@34g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
>> Hi everyone.
>>
>> First, I need to thank everyone on this group for being the wonderful
>> and supportive people that you are. Next, I need to apologize for the
>> ranting and whining I am about to embark upon, but I need to vent. No
>> need to respond because there's nothing you can probably say to make
>> me feel better anyway. I just need to get this out. Please don't think
>> I'm a total nutcase all the time, although I have been acting like one
>> these last 24 hours or so.
>>
>> I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
>> well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
>> wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.
>>
>> I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
>> find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
>> actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
>> energetic when I wake up.
>>
>> Mentally, is another story. I thought everything was going good and
>> then something stupid totally sent me into an emotional tailspin
>> yeterday and I have not been able to set my brain right since. Really,
>> it was stupid. As I was leaving work yesterday, an @ss who parks next
>> to me (assigned parking) b*tched that I didn't know how to park. (I
>> did park crooked -- in a freakin boat of a Ford Exporer, the only car
>> the rental company had available while my car is in the shop for
>> bodywork after the deer crash.) Anyway, I totally lost it -- not in
>> front of him, fortunately. I started bawling about it as if it matters
>> what this jerk thinks of my parking skills.
>>
>> Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
>> some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
>> (Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
>> walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
>> thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
>> up in my eyes.
>>
>> So ... I went home and called a friend of mine who I thought would
>> understand. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then proceeded
>> to describe in great detail a chocolate-rum-crepe dessert she had on
>> vacation in Mexico last week. It was horrible.
>>
>> So ... I called my best friend who responded that diabetes isn't so
>> bad. She knows someone who has diabetes and drinks these delicious low-
>> carb banana milkshakes every day. Seriously, THAT was what she had to
>> say. I wanted to scream. A banana milkshake is not going to resolve my
>> concerns about going blind, dying young, having to freakin exercise
>> every day which I hate to do. (Yes, I realize that my concerns are
>> somewhat exaggerated and I am thinking of worst-case scenarios, but
>> the point is that she didn't get it at all.)
>>
>> Anyway, while I was talking to her I was making two different low-carb
>> recipes. I'm not good at doing two things at once and in the middle of
>> this my neighbor showed up to visit, so I actually had three things
>> going on at once. I ended up screwing up both recipes. I put mayonaise
>> in the strawberry-creamcheese-coolwhip dessert mixture by accident
>> when it was supposed to go in the other recipe. Seriously. I am losing
>> it. I feel like I could start crying again right now and I'm not even
>> sure why.
>>
>> On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
>> yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
>> hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
>> Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
>> haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
>> vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
>> better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
>> eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now? Or maybe it's
>> psychological? (As you see, I'm not quite psychologically stable at
>> the moment, so it could be that.)
>>
>> So ... I'm really struggling now.
>>
>> Thanks for reading this.
>
Tralyn, your original post got lost on the way here, so I had to reply
to someone's quote of it instead.

A few web sites you might want to read:

http://www.alt-support-diabetes.org/NewlyDiagnosed.htm

http://www.diabetic-talk.org/dp.htm

http://www.diabetic-talk.org/freeveggies.htm

http://lowcarbcookworx.com/

http://www.digitalbirdcrap.com/diagnosed.html

<http://loraldiabetes.blogspot.com/2006/10/weight-loss-cooking-and-eating-plan.html>

http://www.doaj.org/doaj?func=abstract&id=175137

http://www.virtualmedicalcentre.com/...sp?artid=11840

http://jennifer.flyingrat.net/

http://www.aspartame.net/rumors/Aspa...e_Internet.asp

tralyn88@aol.com wrote:
> Hi everyone.
>
> First, I need to thank everyone on this group for being the wonderful
> and supportive people that you are. Next, I need to apologize for the
> ranting and whining I am about to embark upon, but I need to vent. No
> need to respond because there's nothing you can probably say to make
> me feel better anyway. I just need to get this out. Please don't think
> I'm a total nutcase all the time, although I have been acting like one
> these last 24 hours or so.

Hi Traci. There's nothing wrong with feeling whacked out when all kinds of
sh*t happens at once. Get it out and get it together!

> I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
> well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
> wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.

I've hit three deer over the last 50 years. The hindquarter is very good.

> I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
> find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
> actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
> energetic when I wake up.

Sounds like you're being proactive and seeing the benefits. Good.

> Mentally, is another story. I thought everything was going good and
> then something stupid totally sent me into an emotional tailspin
> yeterday and I have not been able to set my brain right since. Really,
> it was stupid. As I was leaving work yesterday, an @ss who parks next
> to me (assigned parking) b*tched that I didn't know how to park. (I
> did park crooked -- in a freakin boat of a Ford Exporer, the only car
> the rental company had available while my car is in the shop for
> bodywork after the deer crash.) Anyway, I totally lost it -- not in
> front of him, fortunately. I started bawling about it as if it matters
> what this jerk thinks of my parking skills.

F*ck him! You'll meet more as**oles in parking lots than almost anywhere.
You showed excellent restraint at the time of the incident. There was
nothing to cry about. F*ck him! He's an as**ole!

> Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
> some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
> (Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
> walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
> thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
> up in my eyes.

They're not things you CAN'T eat anymore. They're things you don't want to
eat anymore, except in very small amounts. Face facts, Tracie. Your destiny
is in your hands!

> So ... I went home and called a friend of mine who I thought would
> understand. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then proceeded
> to describe in great detail a chocolate-rum-crepe dessert she had on
> vacation in Mexico last week. It was horrible.
>
> So ... I called my best friend who responded that diabetes isn't so
> bad. She knows someone who has diabetes and drinks these delicious low-
> carb banana milkshakes every day. Seriously, THAT was what she had to
> say. I wanted to scream. A banana milkshake is not going to resolve my
> concerns about going blind, dying young, having to freakin exercise
> every day which I hate to do. (Yes, I realize that my concerns are
> somewhat exaggerated and I am thinking of worst-case scenarios, but
> the point is that she didn't get it at all.)

Just because someone is your best friend, doesn't mean they know
everything. Lots of people are insensitive to the needs of diabetics. Your
concerns about going blind or dying young, are not unreasonable, if you
don't take care of yourself. Why do you hate to exercise? Where, when and
how do you exercise?

> Anyway, while I was talking to her I was making two different low-carb
> recipes. I'm not good at doing two things at once and in the middle of
> this my neighbor showed up to visit, so I actually had three things
> going on at once. I ended up screwing up both recipes. I put mayonaise
> in the strawberry-creamcheese-coolwhip dessert mixture by accident
> when it was supposed to go in the other recipe. Seriously. I am losing
> it. I feel like I could start crying again right now and I'm not even
> sure why.

I can barely do one thing at a time!
There are 250 million people in the world with diabetes. You're one of
them, now. Deal with it!

> On another note ... I did notice one unpleasant physical effect
> yesterday. ... I was in a meeting yesterday and it had been about four
> hours since I had eaten and I started feeling very dizzy and cloudy.
> Classic low-blood sugar reaction, I'm assuming. The thing is that I
> haven't really felt this way before (except a few times after very
> vigorous exercise). Why should I feel this way now that I am eating
> better and controlling carbs, etc? I didn't feel this way when I was
> eating any darn thing I wanted, so why now? Or maybe it's
> psychological? (As you see, I'm not quite psychologically stable at
> the moment, so it could be that.)

Carry some little carb treats in your purse and some glucose tablets.

> So ... I'm really struggling now.
>
> Thanks for reading this.

Thanks for having the courage to post it.

Take care.

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!
I've known US vets who served as far back as the Spanish American War.
They are all my heroes! Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops.
You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ~Semper Fi~

traly...@aol.com wrote:
>
> Hi everyone.
>
> First, I need to thank everyone on this group for being the wonderful
> and supportive people that you are. Next, I need to apologize for the
> ranting and whining I am about to embark upon, but I need to vent. No
> need to respond because there's nothing you can probably say to make
> me feel better anyway. I just need to get this out. Please don't think
> I'm a total nutcase all the time, although I have been acting like one
> these last 24 hours or so.
>
> I'm feeling very, very fragile. I thought I was handling things pretty
> well, coming to terms with the Big D diagnosis during the same week I
> wrecked my car in a deer accident on the highway. Double whammy.
>
> I've been coping, learning to accept T2 and reading everything I can
> find online. I'm eating well, exercising every day, etc. Physically, I
> actually feel pretty darn good. I'm sleeping better and I'm more
> energetic when I wake up.
>
> Mentally, is another story. I thought everything was going good and
> then something stupid totally sent me into an emotional tailspin
> yeterday and I have not been able to set my brain right since. Really,
> it was stupid. As I was leaving work yesterday, an @ss who parks next
> to me (assigned parking) b*tched that I didn't know how to park. (I
> did park crooked -- in a freakin boat of a Ford Exporer, the only car
> the rental company had available while my car is in the shop for
> bodywork after the deer crash.) Anyway, I totally lost it -- not in
> front of him, fortunately. I started bawling about it as if it matters
> what this jerk thinks of my parking skills.
>
> Anyway, I pulled myself together and went to the grocery store to buy
> some ingredients for some great low-carb recipes I found on dlife.com.
> (Try the aloha chicken. Yum.) In the grocery store, I lost it again
> walking past all the things I can't eat anymore. People must've
> thought I was nuts pushing that grocery cart around with tears welling
> up in my eyes.
>
> So ... I went home and called a friend of mine who I thought would
> understand. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then proceeded
> to describe in great detail a chocolate-rum-crepe dessert she had on
> vacation in Mexico last week. It was horrible.
>
> So ... I called my best friend who responded that diabetes isn't so
> bad. She knows someone who has diabetes and drinks these delicious low-
> carb banana milkshakes every day. Seriously, THAT was what she had to
> say. I wanted to scream. A banana milkshake is not going to resolve my
> concerns about going blind, dying young, having to freakin exercise
> every day which I hate to do. (Yes, I realize that my concerns are
> somewhat exaggerated and I am thinking of worst-case scenarios, but
> the point is that she didn't get it at all.)

Then may reading the following help you:

http://groups.google.com/group/sci.m...8812d72ab4e17?

Be hungry... be healthy... be hungrier... be euglycemic...

Marana tha

Prayerfully in the awesome name of our Messiah, Jesus Christ,

Andrew <><
--
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.m...245343707310e?

Tracie....
Without getting too long winded here, just wanted to let you know I can
completely relate to all you have posted. I posted a few times after first
being diagnosed a month or so ago....still lurking & reading. Learn
something new everyday. I had a really hard time dealing with this. With
so many other problems, I just felt I had done this to myself.....I knew
better. Anyway, the last few days have been hard, but good. Todays
readings, none of which were over 135!!! I felt so elated I cannot
describe it. No bread, potatoes or milk at all for me last few days
though,,,,and this is my downfall. My DH after not understanding how it
was possible for my readings to flucuate like they did, has been so
supportive. No potatoes or milk for him either, and he is not diabetic.
This has been a super trying time....but I am very hard headed and
determined to not let this get the best of me. I have 6# to lose to get
back to last years weight, but that will come I am sure. This group, even
when you only read and do not post, is fabulous!! Thanks for letting me
vent and ramble on under your post.

Brenda




> So ... I'm really struggling now.
>
> Thanks for reading this.
>
> -tracie

"Brenda" <dblbj@yahoo