I wrote this for a newly diagnosed friend, thought I'd share it here.
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The New American Pie (with apologies to Don McLean)
A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that desserts used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could someday fit in smaller pants
And, maybe, I'd be healthy for a long while.
But February made me shiver
As I ate so many cakes and pizza slivers
Bad news ascending doorsteps;
So fat I couldn't take one more step.
I can't remember if I cried
When my doctor said "diabetes" and I screamed "Why?!!"
But something touched me deep inside
The day the beta cells died.
So bye-bye, gonna stop eating all those pies.
Was as heavy as a chevy,
Stay this heavy and I may die.
And this good old boy plans on shrinkin' in size
Singin', "this'll be the day that I diet."
"this'll be the day that I diet."
Did you write the diabetic book,
And did God curse me with this high glucose look,
If the carbohydrate Bible tells you so?
Do I believe in setting goals,
Can exercise and meds save my mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to eat real slow?
Well, I know that I can be healthy and slim
If I eat better foods and work out at the gym.
I kicked off both my shoes.
And pumped up my cardio to rhythm and blues.
I was a lonely young aged broncin' buck
Drinking carnation milkshakes the size of pickup trucks,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the beta cells died.
So bye-bye, gonna stop eating all those pies.
Was as heavy as a chevy,
Stay this heavy and I may die.
And this good old boy plans on shrinkin' in size
Singin', "this'll be the day that I diet."
"this'll be the day that I diet."
Now for ten years I've been good as gold
And I lowered the fat and hope to someday grow old,
But that's not how it used to be.
When the jester sang at the Dairy Queen,
With sausages and biscuits from Jimmy Dean
And a voice that called to you and me,
Oh, and with all the Burger Kings I used to down,
The jester added on to my many pounds.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while Lennon read a book of Marx,
I ate all the picnic baskets in the park,
And I binged without purging in the dark
The day the beta cells died.
So bye-bye, gonna stop eating all those pies.
Was as heavy as a chevy,
Stay this heavy and I may die.
And this good old boy plans on shrinkin' in size
Singin', "this'll be the day that I diet."
"this'll be the day that I diet."
And in the streets: the children at ice cream,
The chickens fried, and the meatballs steamed.
But not a word was spoken;
About my body being broken.
And the three breakfast foods I admire most:
The pancakes, bacon, and buttered toast,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the beta cells died.
And I was singin' bye bye to the bad food and to the lies
Was as heavy as a chevy,
Fixed the heavy, dropped the size.
And now I've lost all desire for the burgers and fries
Singin', "this'll be the day that I take control."
"this'll be the day that I take control."
The New American Pie 
Linear Mode
