Seniors Under Attack

Seniors Under Attack ...

This is happening right here in our own country! We Must Stop This
Immediately!

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier.
And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I
was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones.
They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they
just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent
message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip
reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the
other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an
old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even
recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this
morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY
NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life
and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I
can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them
screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would
they suddenly start labeling a size 30 or 32 pants 34 or 36? Do they
think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling
the same prank. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on
that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much!

Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on --
but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed
the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number
in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to
suffer these awful indignities.

Please pass this on to everyone you know as soon as possible so we can
get this conspiracy stopped!

PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something
has happened to my computer's fonts -- they are smaller than they once were.

G'day G'day Barking Dog,

I pictured my Border Collie vainly looking at himself in the mirror
each morning and driving the car as I'm sure he imagines he does. It
helped me greatly understand the subtlety of your humour.

Be warned though that not everyone will get it. In these days when
humour comes with canned laughter some bureaucrat will be demanding
you put the trans fat content on the back of the can.

Best wishes,
Quentin.


This post not CC'd by email
On Fri, 23 Nov 2007 12:26:04 -0500, Barking dog
<Noaddress@notavailable.com> wrote:

>Seniors Under Attack ...
>
>This is happening right here in our own country! We Must Stop This
>Immediately!
>
>Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier.
>And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I
>was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
>
>And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones.
>They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they
>just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent
>message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip
>reader?
>
>I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the
>other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an
>old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even
>recognize me.
>
>I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this
>morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY
>NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
>
>Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life
>and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I
>can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them
>screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
>
>Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would
>they suddenly start labeling a size 30 or 32 pants 34 or 36? Do they
>think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling
>the same prank. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on
>that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much!
>
>Just who do these people think they're fooling?
>
>I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on --
>but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed
>the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number
>in there!
>
>All I can do is pass along this warning: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!
>
>Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to
>suffer these awful indignities.
>
>Please pass this on to everyone you know as soon as possible so we can
>get this conspiracy stopped!
>
>PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something
>has happened to my computer's fonts -- they are smaller than they once were.

--
Quentin Grady ^ ^ /
New Zealand, >#,#< [
/ \ /\
"... and the blind dog was leading."

http://homepages.paradise.net.nz/quentin