The Conversation, Part Two

In July I wrote:

"I have an accquaintence who has a severe weight problem. He's older
than I am, perhaps weighs more than I did at my peak, and is diabetic.
He's been very supportive of my weigh loss. I'd like to pull him aside
and attempt to persuade him to lose weight. I want to tell him that if
I can make progress, he can. I want to help him, providing advice and
encouragement. I want to have a conversation with him and save his
life.

"I've had such conversations myself in the past, but on the receiving
side. I recall once at North Penn Chess Club, Fritz stopped skittling
with me and strongly urged me to lose weight. "I'd like to be playing
chess with you 20 years from now. I'm not sure that'l happen if you
don't do something." Unfortunately, in the short term Fritz's gambit
was not succesful. And I don't know if my own gambit described above
will be either. Should I make a move, or not?"

Yesterday I was at a party. My friend was also there. I attended the
party partly with the idea of initiating the conversation I've
described above. I was more than a little nervous about broaching the
subject. Fortunately, my friend sought me out and brought the topic up
himself! My weight loss spoke louder than any words I could have
chosen.

We had "the conversation" for a few minutes. He's been living the life
of a FFID, but I think the penny is finally dropping in the slot. I'll
probably place a call later today to follow up and discuss starting a
healthy WOE and exercise routine.

Neil
385/285/220

"The Historian" <Spamscone@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1160910609.302026.81640@k70g2000cwa.googlegro ups.com...
> In July I wrote:
>
> "I have an accquaintence who has a severe weight problem. He's older
> than I am, perhaps weighs more than I did at my peak, and is diabetic.
> He's been very supportive of my weigh loss. I'd like to pull him aside
> and attempt to persuade him to lose weight. I want to tell him that if
> I can make progress, he can. I want to help him, providing advice and
> encouragement. I want to have a conversation with him and save his
> life.
>
> "I've had such conversations myself in the past, but on the receiving
> side. I recall once at North Penn Chess Club, Fritz stopped skittling
> with me and strongly urged me to lose weight. "I'd like to be playing
> chess with you 20 years from now. I'm not sure that'l happen if you
> don't do something." Unfortunately, in the short term Fritz's gambit
> was not succesful. And I don't know if my own gambit described above
> will be either. Should I make a move, or not?"
>
> Yesterday I was at a party. My friend was also there. I attended the
> party partly with the idea of initiating the conversation I've
> described above. I was more than a little nervous about broaching the
> subject. Fortunately, my friend sought me out and brought the topic up
> himself! My weight loss spoke louder than any words I could have
> chosen.
>
> We had "the conversation" for a few minutes. He's been living the life
> of a FFID, but I think the penny is finally dropping in the slot. I'll
> probably place a call later today to follow up and discuss starting a
> healthy WOE and exercise routine.
>

Just goes to show you that you don't need to preach - just being a good
example will work when people are ready. That's been my experience.
--
the volleyballchick

On 15 Oct 2006 04:10:09 -0700, "The Historian" <Spamscone@yahoo.com>
wrote:


>Yesterday I was at a party. My friend was also there. I attended the
>party partly with the idea of initiating the conversation I've
>described above. I was more than a little nervous about broaching the
>subject. Fortunately, my friend sought me out and brought the topic up
>himself! My weight loss spoke louder than any words I could have
>chosen.
>
Neil, this is good news. I remember your original post about your
friend and I strongly believed, as I still do, that change would have
to come from inside him and from nowhere else. What you've done is to
lead by example, without needing to use words, which might not have
been well received. Your friend has obviously thought about what you
have achieved, and hopefully now he is ready to change his ways. Now
is the time to move in and offer him support.

janice

They say, "A picture is worth a thousand words". You are a superb
example. Good job! -- Sue

William Loranger wrote:
> They say, "A picture is worth a thousand words". You are a superb
> example. Good job! -- Sue

I'm afraid I wasn't much of an example of healthy eating at the party.
:-( Perhaps I should be posting to the 'binge' thread; I'll wait until
the dust settles and the combatants have formed a single definition of
"binge."

Neil
385/285/220

"The Historian" <Spamscone@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1160910609.302026.81640@k70g2000cwa.googlegro ups.com...
> In July I wrote:
>

<snip for length>

> Yesterday I was at a party. My friend was also there. I attended the
> party partly with the idea of initiating the conversation I've
> described above. I was more than a little nervous about broaching the
> subject. Fortunately, my friend sought me out and brought the topic up
> himself! My weight loss spoke louder than any words I could have
> chosen.

I'm glad your success is being noticed, and your friend has come to you for
advice! People do notice our successes, and want to know how we achieve
them.

Some, however, just try to figure out what's going on without asking
questions. My colleagues have noticed my 60lb weight loss. Several have
asked questions. A few, however, have just made assumptions about what I've
been doing. The other day, one person asked if she could have one of the
Diet Pepsi's I always used to have in the refrigerator. I was surprised me
and told her that I hadn't had soda since last May. Another teacher who was
standing right there said "Yes, that's how she's lost all that
weight--because of the sodium in soda." I was shocked--but at least I know
they are gossiping about me. <chuckle> I corrected her mis-impression, and
pointed out that I exercise and eat healthy--I didn't just give up soda and
have 60lbs fall off. And I gave up the soda because of my blood pressure in
any case.

I do hope your friend continues to turn to you for advice, Neil. You are an
inspiration!

"The Historian" <Spamscone@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1160926949.657273.301620@i3g2000cwc.googlegro ups.com...
>
> William Loranger wrote:
>> They say, "A picture is worth a thousand words". You are a superb
>> example. Good job! -- Sue
>
> I'm afraid I wasn't much of an example of healthy eating at the party.
> :-( Perhaps I should be posting to the 'binge' thread; I'll wait until
> the dust settles and the combatants have formed a single definition of
> "binge."
>
> Neil
> 385/285/220

There isn't one. Binges are mainly in the eye (and mind) of the binge
eater - at least according to actual research and not half-assed
speculation.
--
the volleyballchick

teachrmama wrote:
> "The Historian" <Spamscone@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:1160910609.302026.81640@k70g2000cwa.googlegro ups.com...
> > In July I wrote:
> >
>
> <snip for length>
>
> > Yesterday I was at a party. My friend was also there. I attended the
> > party partly with the idea of initiating the conversation I've
> > described above. I was more than a little nervous about broaching the
> > subject. Fortunately, my friend sought me out and brought the topic up
> > himself! My weight loss spoke louder than any words I could have
> > chosen.
>
> I'm glad your success is being noticed, and your friend has come to you for
> advice! People do notice our successes, and want to know how we achieve
> them.
>
> Some, however, just try to figure out what's going on without asking
> questions. My colleagues have noticed my 60lb weight loss. Several have
> asked questions. A few, however, have just made assumptions about what I've
> been doing. The other day, one person asked if she could have one of the
> Diet Pepsi's I always used to have in the refrigerator. I was surprised me
> and told her that I hadn't had soda since last May. Another teacher who was
> standing right there said "Yes, that's how she's lost all that
> weight--because of the sodium in soda." I was shocked--but at least I know
> they are gossiping about me. <chuckle> I corrected her mis-impression, and
> pointed out that I exercise and eat healthy--I didn't just give up soda and
> have 60lbs fall off. And I gave up the soda because of my blood pressure in
> any case.

It reminds me of the coworker who, in my early days of weight loss,
told me she was inspired to take action against her own obesity
problem. Her action was to be a colonic cleansing treatment.

> I do hope your friend continues to turn to you for advice, Neil. You are an
> inspiration!

I'm not, "teachrmama." I'm just a fat guy working to become a former
fat guy. I'd prefer that people seek inspiration elsewhere. But if
someone wants to lose weight, I'm happy to share whatever has helped
me.

Neil
385/285/220

janice wrote:
> On 15 Oct 2006 04:10:09 -0700, "The Historian" <Spamscone@yahoo.com>
> wrote:
>
>
> >Yesterday I was at a party. My friend was also there. I attended the
> >party partly with the idea of initiating the conversation I've
> >described above. I was more than a little nervous about broaching the
> >subject. Fortunately, my friend sought me out and brought the topic up
> >himself! My weight loss spoke louder than any words I could have
> >chosen.
> >
> Neil, this is good news. I remember your original post about your
> friend and I strongly believed, as I still do, that change would have
> to come from inside him and from nowhere else.

I agree. But perhaps 'the conversation' would be the spark that started
the fire. Perhaps he needed a push to "screw his courage to the
sticking-place." Every fat person has a wake-up call, but we don't know
what form the wake-up call will take. For some, it's a hospitalization,
or the death of a friend. For others, it's a problem such as not
fitting into a dress or pair of trousers. And perhaps the call can come
from the admiration of a weight loss success story.

I realize change comes from inside, but even though FFIDs are people
that walk, or more accurately waddle, in darkness, they CAN see a great
light. Yes, my friend is a FFID, but I think he's going to leave his
FFID anti-lifestyle behind.

What you've done is to
> lead by example, without needing to use words, which might not have
> been well received. Your friend has obviously thought about what you
> have achieved, and hopefully now he is ready to change his ways. Now
> is the time to move in and offer him support.

Will do. Now the heavy lifting comes in. Pardon the pun. :-)

Neil
385/285/220

i thing binge is another word for gluttony...instead of consuming
food...food consumes you...you can't fight it in your own
strength...the lie is you think you can
The Historian wrote:
> William Loranger wrote:
> > They say, "A picture is worth a thousand words". You are a superb
> > example. Good job! -- Sue
>
> I'm afraid I wasn't much of an example of healthy eating at the party.
> :-( Perhaps I should be posting to the 'binge' thread; I'll wait until
> the dust settles and the combatants have formed a single definition of
> "binge."
>
> Neil
> 385/285/220

On 15 Oct 2006 04:10:09 -0700, "The Historian" <Spamscone@yahoo.com>
wrote:

<earlier post snipped>

>Yesterday I was at a party. My friend was also there. I attended the
>party partly with the idea of initiating the conversation I've
>described above. I was more than a little nervous about broaching the
>subject. Fortunately, my friend sought me out and brought the topic up
>himself! My weight loss spoke louder than any words I could have
>chosen.
>
>We had "the conversation" for a few minutes. He's been living the life
>of a FFID, but I think the penny is finally dropping in the slot. I'll
>probably place a call later today to follow up and discuss starting a
>healthy WOE and exercise routine.

I'm glad your friend may be getting interested in improving his
health. It would be good if you can keep in touch with him to help
him along the way.