DIY Liposuction?

[Eliot Whinterton-Harpe]

Hello,

I am very fat and yet I can't afford surgery.

I'm thinking of performing DIY liposuction on myself, using a vacuum
cleaner, duck tape, a straw and an apple de-corer, and tylenol for the pain.

Is this dangerous? I am obese and poor and dieting isn't working.

[determined]

"Eliot Whinterton-Harpe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:et129h$pnh$[email protected]..
> Hello,
>
> I am very fat and yet I can't afford surgery.
>
> I'm thinking of performing DIY liposuction on myself, using a vacuum
> cleaner, duck tape, a straw and an apple de-corer, and tylenol for the
> pain.
>
> Is this dangerous? I am obese and poor and dieting isn't working.

I think it's a fabulous idea. Let us know how it works out for you.

[[email protected]]

On Mar 11, 8:04 am, Eliot Whinterton-Harpe <n...@ewh.void.tk> wrote:
> Hello,
>
> I am very fat and yet I can't afford surgery.
>
> I'm thinking of performing DIY liposuction on myself, using a vacuum
> cleaner, duck tape, a straw and an apple de-corer, and tylenol for the pain.
>
> Is this dangerous? I am obese and poor and dieting isn't working.

Sounds great. Don't forget to have a plumbers helper nearby in case
your heart stops during surgery...I read where someone jump started a
person's heart after their heart stopped. You'll need an assistant to
drag you into the bathroom and stuff you into the toilet first,
though.

You really only need the duct tape to make the procedure work...about
3 inches of it..stick it to your mouth to seal your mouth off from the
Big Macs and fries.

If it turns out though, let me know. My kid needs braces and those
things are expensive, but I have some paperclips, superglue, and
rubber bands just lying around that I might try on her. dkw

[Willow Herself]

An apple de-corer?
Will~

"Eliot Whinterton-Harpe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:et129h$pnh$[email protected]..
> Hello,
>
> I am very fat and yet I can't afford surgery.
>
> I'm thinking of performing DIY liposuction on myself, using a vacuum
> cleaner, duck tape, a straw and an apple de-corer, and tylenol for the
> pain.
>
> Is this dangerous? I am obese and poor and dieting isn't working.

[RCE]

"Willow Herself" <[email protected]> wrote in
message newsvYIh.4584$[email protected]..


> An apple de-corer?
> Will~
>
> "Eliot Whinterton-Harpe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:et129h$pnh$[email protected]..
>> Hello,
>>
>> I am very fat and yet I can't afford surgery.
>>
>> I'm thinking of performing DIY liposuction on myself, using a vacuum
>> cleaner, duck tape, a straw and an apple de-corer, and tylenol for the
>> pain.
>>
>> Is this dangerous? I am obese and poor and dieting isn't working.
>
>


I was thinking maybe a nut cracker might be more in order for this guy.

RCE

[Willow Herself]

"RCE" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]..
>
> "Willow Herself" <[email protected]> wrote in
> message newsvYIh.4584$[email protected]..
>
>
>> An apple de-corer?
>> Will~
>>
>> "Eliot Whinterton-Harpe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:et129h$pnh$[email protected]..
>>> Hello,
>>>
>>> I am very fat and yet I can't afford surgery.
>>>
>>> I'm thinking of performing DIY liposuction on myself, using a vacuum
>>> cleaner, duck tape, a straw and an apple de-corer, and tylenol for the
>>> pain.
>>>
>>> Is this dangerous? I am obese and poor and dieting isn't working.
>>
>>
>
>
> I was thinking maybe a nut cracker might be more in order for this guy.
>
> RCE
>

Well... I'm kinda curious about what the apple de-corer is for...

It happens!

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1999-60.html

Will~

[[email protected]]

On Mar 11, 10:04 am, Eliot Whinterton-Harpe <n...@ewh.void.tk> wrote:
> Hello,
>
> I am very fat and yet I can't afford surgery.
>
> I'm thinking of performing DIY liposuction on myself, using a vacuum
> cleaner, duck tape, a straw and an apple de-corer, and tylenol for the pain.
>
> Is this dangerous? I am obese and poor and dieting isn't working.

What are you? Stupid?

You need a wet/dry shopvac..... If you use a vacuum cleaner you could
get electrocuted and hurt yourself.

[Caleb]

On Mar 11, 9:03 pm, TheAmazingGu...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Mar 11, 10:04 am, Eliot Whinterton-Harpe <n...@ewh.void.tk> wrote:
>
> > Hello,
>
> > I am very fat and yet I can't afford surgery.
>
> > I'm thinking of performing DIY liposuction on myself, using a vacuum
> > cleaner, duck tape, a straw and an apple de-corer, and tylenol for the pain.
>
> > Is this dangerous? I am obese and poor and dieting isn't working.
>
> What are you? Stupid?
>
> You need a wet/dry shopvac..... If you use a vacuum cleaner you could
> get electrocuted and hurt yourself.

It still is amazing to me how people could actually start a thread
like this.

Are their socks arranged in some kind of order?

Have they finished flossing for the day?

Is their garage clean? (or if no garage, is their parents' garage
clean? or if no parents' garage, have they finished all their
volunteering opportunities?)

Have they taken all of their community college courses?

etc.

etc.

Making fun of people who are in agony over their weight problems is
cruel. If this person is trying to enlighten others through ironic
comments, seems to me it's far better to just come out with what this
person wants to say.

But I do like the rejoinders...

Yours,

Caleb

[Willow Herself]

"Caleb" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected] oups.com...
> On Mar 11, 9:03 pm, TheAmazingGu...@gmail.com wrote:
>> On Mar 11, 10:04 am, Eliot Whinterton-Harpe <n...@ewh.void.tk> wrote:
>>
>> > Hello,
>>
>> > I am very fat and yet I can't afford surgery.
>>
>> > I'm thinking of performing DIY liposuction on myself, using a vacuum
>> > cleaner, duck tape, a straw and an apple de-corer, and tylenol for the
>> > pain.
>>
>> > Is this dangerous? I am obese and poor and dieting isn't working.
>>
>> What are you? Stupid?
>>
>> You need a wet/dry shopvac..... If you use a vacuum cleaner you could
>> get electrocuted and hurt yourself.
>
> It still is amazing to me how people could actually start a thread
> like this.
>
> Are their socks arranged in some kind of order?
>
> Have they finished flossing for the day?
>
> Is their garage clean? (or if no garage, is their parents' garage
> clean? or if no parents' garage, have they finished all their
> volunteering opportunities?)
>
> Have they taken all of their community college courses?
>
> etc.
>
> etc.
>
> Making fun of people who are in agony over their weight problems is
> cruel. If this person is trying to enlighten others through ironic
> comments, seems to me it's far better to just come out with what this
> person wants to say.
>
> But I do like the rejoinders...
>
> Yours,
>
> Caleb
>

Welcome to usenet!

Diversity, stupidity, all around silliness, meaness all present and much
much more for better or for worst!

I don't have a problem with funny/silly trolls.. they liven up the place
(keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously!)

Mean hurfull trolls are another matter though... as my FIL used to say...
doesn't take all kinds to make a world, we just HAVE all kinds..

Will~