The Irony of being At Goal

One of the problems I attributed my failed former marriage to was the
fact that I was about twenty pounds overweight in 1951. Eventually,
while taking Lithium, I shot up an additional sixty-six to nearly 220
pounds.

I always felt inferior to others despite the fact that I had a very
pretty face. Now, more than fifty years later, I had occasion to pay a
condolence call on my ex husband's family. He is tipping in at close to
300 lbs. and every guest with the exception of the hostess was grossly
overweight including his current wife.

So, there I was at goal weight, still feeling as if I didn't belong.
I wondered if that entire circle of people spent most of their social
lives in eating related activities. Losing weight would have not likely
have made a difference in the outcome of the marriage. It has taken a
long time to put this in persepctive but finally there are no regrets.

Diva
219/144
joined ASD in 1996

"Diva" <c.frilegh@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:1161092321.124148.278820@m7g2000cwm.googlegro ups.com...
> One of the problems I attributed my failed former marriage to was the
> fact that I was about twenty pounds overweight in 1951. Eventually,
> while taking Lithium, I shot up an additional sixty-six to nearly 220
> pounds.
>
> I always felt inferior to others despite the fact that I had a very
> pretty face. Now, more than fifty years later, I had occasion to pay a
> condolence call on my ex husband's family. He is tipping in at close to
> 300 lbs. and every guest with the exception of the hostess was grossly
> overweight including his current wife.
>
> So, there I was at goal weight, still feeling as if I didn't belong.
> I wondered if that entire circle of people spent most of their social
> lives in eating related activities. Losing weight would have not likely
> have made a difference in the outcome of the marriage. It has taken a
> long time to put this in persepctive but finally there are no regrets.
>
> Diva
> 219/144
> joined ASD in 1996
>

It's funny how life lessons take a while to sink in sometimes... ) We are
so good at feeling responsible for everything that happens.. "If this didn't
work, it must be because of me"...

Freedom of that kind of guilt is a great gift to give to oneself!
Will~

Diva wrote:
> One of the problems I attributed my failed former marriage to was the
> fact that I was about twenty pounds overweight in 1951. Eventually,
> while taking Lithium, I shot up an additional sixty-six to nearly 220
> pounds.
>
> I always felt inferior to others despite the fact that I had a very
> pretty face. Now, more than fifty years later, I had occasion to pay a
> condolence call on my ex husband's family. He is tipping in at close to
> 300 lbs. and every guest with the exception of the hostess was grossly
> overweight including his current wife.
>
> So, there I was at goal weight, still feeling as if I didn't belong.
> I wondered if that entire circle of people spent most of their social
> lives in eating related activities. Losing weight would have not likely
> have made a difference in the outcome of the marriage. It has taken a
> long time to put this in persepctive but finally there are no regrets.
>
> Diva
> 219/144
> joined ASD in 1996

Good to see you're still reading and posting.

I can't say that weight played any part in my divorce (he was an a**)
but I do get a feeling of "I don't belong" when visiting with childhood
friends. Many are obese and suffer from health problems associated
with obesity. A few times I even felt slightly guilty that I was in
excellent health until I realized I had worked at maintaining my health
through diet and exercise and it wasn't just luck on my part.

Beverly
177/140/~135 since 1996

On 17 Oct 2006 06:38:41 -0700, "Diva" <c.frilegh@sympatico.ca> wrote:

>One of the problems I attributed my failed former marriage to was the
>fact that I was about twenty pounds overweight in 1951. Eventually,
>while taking Lithium, I shot up an additional sixty-six to nearly 220
>pounds.
>
>I always felt inferior to others despite the fact that I had a very
>pretty face. Now, more than fifty years later, I had occasion to pay a
>condolence call on my ex husband's family. He is tipping in at close to
>300 lbs. and every guest with the exception of the hostess was grossly
>overweight including his current wife.
>
>So, there I was at goal weight, still feeling as if I didn't belong.
>I wondered if that entire circle of people spent most of their social
>lives in eating related activities. Losing weight would have not likely
>have made a difference in the outcome of the marriage. It has taken a
>long time to put this in persepctive but finally there are no regrets.
>
>Diva
>219/144
>joined ASD in 1996

Interesting observations, Carol.

It's good to see you posting here - how are things with you these
days?

janice

janice wrote:
> On 17 Oct 2006 06:38:41 -0700, "Diva" <c.frilegh@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>
> >One of the problems I attributed my failed former marriage to was the
> >fact that I was about twenty pounds overweight in 1951. Eventually,
> >while taking Lithium, I shot up an additional sixty-six to nearly 220
> >pounds.
> >
> >I always felt inferior to others despite the fact that I had a very
> >pretty face. Now, more than fifty years later, I had occasion to pay a
> >condolence call on my ex husband's family. He is tipping in at close to
> >300 lbs. and every guest with the exception of the hostess was grossly
> >overweight including his current wife.
> >
> >So, there I was at goal weight, still feeling as if I didn't belong.
> >I wondered if that entire circle of people spent most of their social
> >lives in eating related activities. Losing weight would have not likely
> >have made a difference in the outcome of the marriage. It has taken a
> >long time to put this in persepctive but finally there are no regrets.
> >
> >Diva
> >219/144
> >joined ASD in 1996
>
> Interesting observations, Carol.
>
> It's good to see you posting here - how are things with you these
> days?
>
> janice

I still have to follow my special diet for celiac disease (The Specific
Carbohydrate Diet) and must to cope with Chemical and Environmental
sensitivities but thanks to support groups and research, have done an
effective job.

I am active on a Yahoo autism group of families using the special
aforementioned diet as it is helpful with autism and gave a cooking
course with two other women at our local supermarket using recipes for
the SCD (which is not a weight loss diet). It was a big success but a
lot of work.

We added a second dog to the hosuehold over a year ago and like hiking
with the pooches.
and still do Pilates, weight lifting and stair climbing.

It is ten years since I joined ASD . Being a part of it accounts for a
great deal that motivated me to weight management success.

BTW: I no longer discuss weight loss with others but do enthuse over my
celiac diet because it helps to keep my weight stabilized and I eat
very well.

It is so nice to see posts from other long time ASD-ers :-)

Diva

x-no-archive: yes

On Oct 17, 9:39 am, "Beverly" <Beverly.Ow...@gmail.com> wrote:

> I can't say that weight played any part in my divorce (he was an a**)
> but I do get a feeling of "I don't belong" when visiting with childhood
> friends. Many are obese and suffer from health problems associated
> with obesity. A few times I even felt slightly guilty that I was in
> excellent health until I realized I had worked at maintaining my health
> through diet and exercise and it wasn't just luck on my part.

I've felt the same, like I don't belong. It was sorta ironic; I passed
up on one college reunion because I had gained so much weight I didn't
want to be seen -- only to go to the next one at goal weight or below
(I don't remember, exactly). There was one table of people I cared
about, and guess what? They were all overweight. I felt odd to be thin,
like I had somehow broken some sort of covenant with them that I didn't
remember signing....

And more recently, when I was working in my previous position, my
closest coworker was overweight, plus it seemed like an inordinate
percentage of the folks in the building I was in were overweight, some
very much so. This is gonna sound stupid, but I almost felt guilty to
be thin. I'm not altogether sure that that "peer pressure" didn't play
a part in my gaining so much of the weight back.

Now I'm in another building...where most folks are basically average
size. I can't deny it affects my mindset. Anyway, I have started to
lose weight again and am glad of it.

beeswing

x-no-archive: yes

On Oct 18, 10:23 am, I wrote:
> I passed up on one college reunion

High school reunion, I meant.

beeswing