This years Official Award for Ugliness goes to non other than Lady
Veteran. Of all the ugly people in the world, Lady Veteran is the
fattest and ugliest. For winning, she will receive an absolutely free
plastic bag to place over her head. This is a special bag with a nice
looking face drawn on it, and includes an airtight tape to seal the
bag after it's placed over her head. Lady veteran should be kind and
considerate of others and commit suicide immediately......