Two jokes I like to tell folks

One joke is about the ladies who are attending a resort in the
Catskills. One says to the other, "The food here is terrible!" and the
other one says, "Yes -- and the portions are so small!"

Another joke is this: A fellow knocks on his neighbor's door and says,
"May I borrow your rope?" And the neighbor says, "No -- I'm using it
to tie up my milk!" and the first guy says, "Using your rope to tie up
your milk - -how do you do that?" and the neighbor says, "If I don't
want to let you use my rope, one excuse is as good as another!"

The first joke suggests to me that a lot of people will criticize you
for being too tall, too short, too outgoing, too quiet, etc., etc. And
the second reminds me that sometimes people will give any reason at
all, true or not, simply because they are not motivated to do
something, and that what they say has little relation to what is
actually going on. (For example someone says: I won't do this for
this reason -- then it turns out that that reason is false. Then I
won't do it for this other reason -- and it turns out that that reason
is false as well. Then I won't do it for this other reason -- ad
nauseum, ad infinitum.)

Yours,

Caleb