moods, meno, & beyond

i didn't want to hijack ruth's discussion, but the mention of mood
issues is of interest to me. it's been a challenge all my life to
manage my moods & to understand the complex way that internal &
external variables affect this.

when i have done therapy, i did get a dysthymic dx, but that doesn't
capture the whole story. for those of you who have struggled with
similar situations, i am wondering what your various strategies are
for dealing with it? i am also curious as to whether you were more
prone to problems with PMS & hormonal swings of pregnancy/puberty/peri
&meno?

one of the more unusual things that i have found in the last year was
that overall, my general mood was more stable & i was happier, even
while being hit almost constantly with every meno symptom imaginable.
of course, i have had some extreme mood manifestations that have been
scary as hell, but fortunately brief & infrequent. that is certainly
subject to change at any given second.

would love to hear people's experiences with this type of stuff. it
is always hard to convey what it has been like to live with these
particular sensitivities. if you've been there, you totally get it.
if you haven't, it's impossible to describe. it does make life so much
harder. i never want to romanticize it, but i do search for any
possible good that has come out of the struggle. even while yearning
to be blissfully stable.

ellen

ellen <epdpster@gmail.com> wrote:

> i didn't want to hijack ruth's discussion, but the mention of mood
> issues is of interest to me. it's been a challenge all my life to
> manage my moods & to understand the complex way that internal &
> external variables affect this.
>
> when i have done therapy, i did get a dysthymic dx, but that doesn't
> capture the whole story. for those of you who have struggled with
> similar situations, i am wondering what your various strategies are
> for dealing with it? i am also curious as to whether you were more
> prone to problems with PMS & hormonal swings of pregnancy/puberty/peri
> &meno?

I've always been mercurial. That's the best way to describe it. Never
the same mood two days in a row. Nothing extreme, but nothing stable,
either. I wonder how people who are even-tempered every blessed minute
of their lives can stand it. ;-)

To avoid the negative extremes, I have found that affirmations help.
Having a personal mantra would do the trick, but it's about focusing my
mind before I start my day (i.e. meet other people). Doing this moves my
whole scale up towards the happy end. I don't get as easily annoyed or
stressed out, and I'm generally friendlier.

I had a situation where my temper was doing me a disservice and you can
read about how I handled that and what affirmation (or word meditation)
I used. It worked.
<http://home.online.no/~kafox/blogfil...-serenity.html
>

> one of the more unusual things that i have found in the last year was
> that overall, my general mood was more stable & i was happier, even
> while being hit almost constantly with every meno symptom imaginable.
> of course, i have had some extreme mood manifestations that have been
> scary as hell, but fortunately brief & infrequent. that is certainly
> subject to change at any given second.

Many people, including the regulars here on asm, have noted that
maturity gives one a calm and a self-confidence that was lacking in
younger years. I can vouch for that. I'm far more relaxed about who am
I, and about making mistakes, than I was when I was younger. Which comes
in handy when the hormones do their own thing. ;-)

But I also find that what sort of thoughts you choose to have in your
head, how you word your thoughts, makes a difference. The people I know
who have the most extreme mood swings, also have the most extreme
language. They LOVE stuff or so-and-so, or they HATE stuff or so-and-so.
They never just like something, for example, or want to avoid so-and-so.
I'm not getting that from you. Quite the contrary: I pick up perhaps
more caution than not. :-)

--
Keera in Norway * Think big and then ask for more.
http://home.online.no/~kafox/

I had a nervous breakdown when I was 9. We went through a terrible
earthquake in Montana in 59 and that pushed me over...Come to find out I had
been abused by my blood father..although back then they just buried that
kind of stuff. My Shrink told my Mother she was to no longer let me have
visitations with my Father...my Mother told him that my father would take
her to court...the shrink told her that's fine because he wouldn't mind
sitting in court and tell the world what I told him. You know that abuse was
blanked from my mind and I never remembered it until we lived in Alaska in
the 80's and one day I was vacuuming and we had a small earthquake ...all of
a sudden visions started going through my head. I handled it pretty well
though. Back in 75 I had another breakdown with suicidal thoughts...My
reasoning was if I died my husband could find a non frigid wife(I didn't
realize the depression was making me frigid) and a better Mother that wasn't
moody and cried all of the time. My husband called our clinic and they set
up an appointment with psychiatric clinic.....I started seeing the head
shrink for about a year. I was diagnosed a Schizoid with depression and
anxiety...although I do have some of the symptoms I don't think I have them
all. I was put on elivil for the depression and anxiety...plus my talks with
my Dr made me understand myself better I am still a loner but can handle
being around others ok but prefer to be out here in the middle of the
desert. I have never needed friends..although had some through High School.
My best friends are my husband and my one sister. I talk to strangers at
the grocery store but that's ok because I don't have to develop a personal
friendship. That's like being on these boards I enjoy our conversations but
I don't have to commit I always have said I could be a hermit as long as
there are Malls not to far away...LOL. I had some depression during the last
year of my peri-menopause...mostly the mood swings...but the only thing I
cry at anymore is Movies...and oh yeh "Cold Case" for some reason that show
always makes me cry... I am happy with my life, and even with the Schizoid
title I can handle life quite well I had mild PMS nothing to bad though.
My Foster Daughter had it real bad..I remember one time when her boys father
came home drunk and got pushy she hit him with a baseball bat...then went
out and banged up his car. I told her to go to the Dr..she did and they gave
her pills to take during PMS. She seemed to straighten out after her second
child was born. My Daughter has pretty bad PMS too...but she just gets
cranky


"ellen" <epdpster@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:42538dd0-c3fc-42de-adb4-3602d06cb1fc@h11g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
>i didn't want to hijack ruth's discussion, but the mention of mood
> issues is of interest to me. it's been a challenge all my life to
> manage my moods & to understand the complex way that internal &
> external variables affect this.
>
> when i have done therapy, i did get a dysthymic dx, but that doesn't
> capture the whole story. for those of you who have struggled with
> similar situations, i am wondering what your various strategies are
> for dealing with it? i am also curious as to whether you were more
> prone to problems with PMS & hormonal swings of pregnancy/puberty/peri
> &meno?
>
> one of the more unusual things that i have found in the last year was
> that overall, my general mood was more stable & i was happier, even
> while being hit almost constantly with every meno symptom imaginable.
> of course, i have had some extreme mood manifestations that have been
> scary as hell, but fortunately brief & infrequent. that is certainly
> subject to change at any given second.
>
> would love to hear people's experiences with this type of stuff. it
> is always hard to convey what it has been like to live with these
> particular sensitivities. if you've been there, you totally get it.
> if you haven't, it's impossible to describe. it does make life so much
> harder. i never want to romanticize it, but i do search for any
> possible good that has come out of the struggle. even while yearning
> to be blissfully stable.
>
> ellen

On Thu, 17 Jan 2008 18:45:05 +0100, thinkbig.shrinktofit@online.no
(Keera Ann Fox) wrote:

> and you can
>read about how I handled that and what affirmation (or word meditation)
>I used. It worked.
><http://home.online.no/~kafox/blogfil...-serenity.html



Ohhh.....lots of Keera things to read. I have found that I like the
way you face things and handle things Keera. Thanks for the link.
I copied off the things you said about being alone during the holidays
and I keep it here on my desk. I feel better just reading it. I'm
still learning how to be alone and happy. Even tho I am happy to be
alone now, there is that tiny mental adjustment in the way we see
ourselves after having a major change in life circumstances. Your
notes helped me see it more clearly. Thank you.


Dana
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons,
for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

On Jan 17, 12:45 pm, thinkbig.shrinkto...@online.no (Keera Ann Fox)
wrote:
> ellen <epdps...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > i didn't want to hijack ruth's discussion, but the mention of mood
> > issues is of interest to me. it's been a challenge all my life to
> > manage my moods & to understand the complex way that internal &
> > external variables affect this.
>
> > when i have done therapy, i did get a dysthymic dx, but that doesn't
> > capture the whole story. for those of you who have struggled with
> > similar situations, i am wondering what your various strategies are
> > for dealing with it? i am also curious as to whether you were more
> > prone to problems with PMS & hormonal swings of pregnancy/puberty/peri
> > &meno?
>
> I've always been mercurial. That's the best way to describe it. Never
> the same mood two days in a row. Nothing extreme, but nothing stable,
> either. I wonder how people who are even-tempered every blessed minute
> of their lives can stand it. ;-)
>
> To avoid the negative extremes, I have found that affirmations help.
> Having a personal mantra would do the trick, but it's about focusing my
> mind before I start my day (i.e. meet other people). Doing this moves my
> whole scale up towards the happy end. I don't get as easily annoyed or
> stressed out, and I'm generally friendlier.
>
> I had a situation where my temper was doing me a disservice and you can
> read about how I handled that and what affirmation (or word meditation)
> I used. It worked.
> <http://home.online.no/~kafox/blogfil...-serenity.html
>
>
>
> > one of the more unusual things that i have found in the last year was
> > that overall, my general mood was more stable & i was happier, even
> > while being hit almost constantly with every meno symptom imaginable.
> > of course, i have had some extreme mood manifestations that have been
> > scary as hell, but fortunately brief & infrequent. that is certainly
> > subject to change at any given second.
>
> Many people, including the regulars here on asm, have noted that
> maturity gives one a calm and a self-confidence that was lacking in
> younger years. I can vouch for that. I'm far more relaxed about who am
> I, and about making mistakes, than I was when I was younger. Which comes
> in handy when the hormones do their own thing. ;-)
>
> But I also find that what sort of thoughts you choose to have in your
> head, how you word your thoughts, makes a difference. The people I know
> who have the most extreme mood swings, also have the most extreme
> language. They LOVE stuff or so-and-so, or they HATE stuff or so-and-so.
> They never just like something, for example, or want to avoid so-and-so.
> I'm not getting that from you. Quite the contrary: I pick up perhaps
> more caution than not. :-)
>
> --
> Keera in Norway * Think big and then ask for more.http://home.online.no/~kafox/

oh you are right on that one, keera. i am the queen of caution.
which hasn't meant that i haven't tried to run through nyc in barefeet
with susan. the results are not always pretty & can be tough on the
toes.

i appreciate the words of wisdom & the link. i have worked over the
years to develop a better attitude & i think there has been some
maturity that has seeped in. just burns me up when i'm doing fine
just with the controllable mental aspects & the inner workings of the
body/mind decide to go bungee jumping.

which means i need to go back to your link & repeat as needed.

ellen

On Jan 17, 1:39 pm, "jacquie" <happikat...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> I had a nervous breakdown when I was 9. We went through a terrible
> earthquake in Montana in 59 and that pushed me over...Come to find out I had
> been abused by my blood father..although back then they just buried that
> kind of stuff. My Shrink told my Mother she was to no longer let me have
> visitations with my Father...my Mother told him that my father would take
> her to court...the shrink told her that's fine because he wouldn't mind
> sitting in court and tell the world what I told him. You know that abuse was
> blanked from my mind and I never remembered it until we lived in Alaska in
> the 80's and one day I was vacuuming and we had a small earthquake ...all of
> a sudden visions started going through my head. I handled it pretty well
> though. Back in 75 I had another breakdown with suicidal thoughts...My
> reasoning was if I died my husband could find a non frigid wife(I didn't
> realize the depression was making me frigid) and a better Mother that wasn't
> moody and cried all of the time. My husband called our clinic and they set
> up an appointment with psychiatric clinic.....I started seeing the head
> shrink for about a year. I was diagnosed a Schizoid with depression and
> anxiety...although I do have some of the symptoms I don't think I have them
> all. I was put on elivil for the depression and anxiety...plus my talks with
> my Dr made me understand myself better I am still a loner but can handle
> being around others ok but prefer to be out here in the middle of the
> desert. I have never needed friends..although had some through High School.
> My best friends are my husband and my one sister. I talk to strangers at
> the grocery store but that's ok because I don't have to develop a personal
> friendship. That's like being on these boards I enjoy our conversations but
> I don't have to commit I always have said I could be a hermit as long as
> there are Malls not to far away...LOL. I had some depression during the last
> year of my peri-menopause...mostly the mood swings...but the only thing I
> cry at anymore is Movies...and oh yeh "Cold Case" for some reason that show
> always makes me cry... I am happy with my life, and even with the Schizoid
> title I can handle life quite well I had mild PMS nothing to bad though.
> My Foster Daughter had it real bad..I remember one time when her boys father
> came home drunk and got pushy she hit him with a baseball bat...then went
> out and banged up his car. I told her to go to the Dr..she did and they gave
> her pills to take during PMS. She seemed to straighten out after her second
> child was born. My Daughter has pretty bad PMS too...but she just gets
> cranky
>
> "ellen" <epdps...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:42538dd0-c3fc-42de-adb4-3602d06cb1fc@h11g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
>
> >i didn't want to hijack ruth's discussion, but the mention of mood
> > issues is of interest to me. it's been a challenge all my life to
> > manage my moods & to understand the complex way that internal &
> > external variables affect this.
>
> > when i have done therapy, i did get a dysthymic dx, but that doesn't
> > capture the whole story. for those of you who have struggled with
> > similar situations, i am wondering what your various strategies are
> > for dealing with it? i am also curious as to whether you were more
> > prone to problems with PMS & hormonal swings of pregnancy/puberty/peri
> > &meno?
>
> > one of the more unusual things that i have found in the last year was
> > that overall, my general mood was more stable & i was happier, even
> > while being hit almost constantly with every meno symptom imaginable.
> > of course, i have had some extreme mood manifestations that have been
> > scary as hell, but fortunately brief & infrequent. that is certainly
> > subject to change at any given second.
>
> > would love to hear people's experiences with this type of stuff. it
> > is always hard to convey what it has been like to live with these
> > particular sensitivities. if you've been there, you totally get it.
> > if you haven't, it's impossible to describe. it does make life so much
> > harder. i never want to romanticize it, but i do search for any
> > possible good that has come out of the struggle. even while yearning
> > to be blissfully stable.
>
> > ellen

thanks for sharing that, jacquie. you've gone through an amazing
amount of things & seem to be doing very well. strikes me as alot of
strength, courage & perseverance as well.

maybe part of the whole process is understanding how to move forward
with all the pieces to our lives in an accepting way. whatever it is,
i'm glad that you are in a good place. with a mall close by.

ellen

Dana© <AneeBear@ownmail.com> wrote:

> On Thu, 17 Jan 2008 18:45:05 +0100, thinkbig.shrinktofit@online.no
> (Keera Ann Fox) wrote:
>
> > and you can
> >read about how I handled that and what affirmation (or word meditation)
> >I used. It worked.
> ><http://home.online.no/~kafox/blogfil...-serenity.html
>
> Ohhh.....lots of Keera things to read. I have found that I like the
> way you face things and handle things Keera. Thanks for the link.
> I copied off the things you said about being alone during the holidays
> and I keep it here on my desk. I feel better just reading it. I'm
> still learning how to be alone and happy. Even tho I am happy to be
> alone now, there is that tiny mental adjustment in the way we see
> ourselves after having a major change in life circumstances. Your
> notes helped me see it more clearly. Thank you.

Thank _you_, Dana. It touches me that my words and experience have given
you comfort.

--
Keera in Norway * Think big and then ask for more.
http://home.online.no/~kafox/

ellen <epdpster@gmail.com> wrote:

> On Jan 17, 12:45 pm, thinkbig.shrinkto...@online.no (Keera Ann Fox)
> wrote:
> > ellen <epdps...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > i didn't want to hijack ruth's discussion, but the mention of mood
> > > issues is of interest to me. it's been a challenge all my life to
> > > manage my moods & to understand the complex way that internal &
> > > external variables affect this.
> >
> > > when i have done therapy, i did get a dysthymic dx, but that doesn't
> > > capture the whole story. for those of you who have struggled with
> > > similar situations, i am wondering what your various strategies are
> > > for dealing with it? i am also curious as to whether you were more
> > > prone to problems with PMS & hormonal swings of pregnancy/puberty/peri
> > > &meno?
> >
> > I've always been mercurial. That's the best way to describe it. Never
> > the same mood two days in a row. Nothing extreme, but nothing stable,
> > either. I wonder how people who are even-tempered every blessed minute
> > of their lives can stand it. ;-)
> >
> > To avoid the negative extremes, I have found that affirmations help.
> > Having a personal mantra would do the trick, but it's about focusing my
> > mind before I start my day (i.e. meet other people). Doing this moves my
> > whole scale up towards the happy end. I don't get as easily annoyed or
> > stressed out, and I'm generally friendlier.
> >
> > I had a situation where my temper was doing me a disservice and you can
> > read about how I handled that and what affirmation (or word meditation)
> > I used. It worked.
> > <http://home.online.no/~kafox/blogfil...-serenity.html
> >
> >
> >
> > > one of the more unusual things that i have found in the last year was
> > > that overall, my general mood was more stable & i was happier, even
> > > while being hit almost constantly with every meno symptom imaginable.
> > > of course, i have had some extreme mood manifestations that have been
> > > scary as hell, but fortunately brief & infrequent. that is certainly
> > > subject to change at any given second.
> >
> > Many people, including the regulars here on asm, have noted that
> > maturity gives one a calm and a self-confidence that was lacking in
> > younger years. I can vouch for that. I'm far more relaxed about who am
> > I, and about making mistakes, than I was when I was younger. Which comes
> > in handy when the hormones do their own thing. ;-)
> >
> > But I also find that what sort of thoughts you choose to have in your
> > head, how you word your thoughts, makes a difference. The people I know
> > who have the most extreme mood swings, also have the most extreme
> > language. They LOVE stuff or so-and-so, or they HATE stuff or so-and-so.
> > They never just like something, for example, or want to avoid so-and-so.
> > I'm not getting that from you. Quite the contrary: I pick up perhaps
> > more caution than not. :-)
>
> oh you are right on that one, keera. i am the queen of caution.
> which hasn't meant that i haven't tried to run through nyc in barefeet
> with susan. the results are not always pretty & can be tough on the
> toes.

You sound a bit like me. When I was younger, I was told to lighten up. I
did know, though, that deep inside I wouldn't want to get into trouble
so I didn't jump off the bridge when my friends did. But there is a
happy medium. If I could go back and tell my 20-something y.o. self
anything, it would be: "Take a few more chances, dear. You still won't
get into trouble." I had more leeway (most of us do) than I realized at
the time.

Nowadays, I have fun showing up at work with my sweater on backwards.
Not deliberately (and not something that started with meno), but now,
when it's pointed out, it becomes a joke and a grin moment, rather than
me feeling it's a chink in my perfect armor. That leeway, you know. It's
there. :-)

> i appreciate the words of wisdom & the link. i have worked over the
> years to develop a better attitude & i think there has been some
> maturity that has seeped in. just burns me up when i'm doing fine
> just with the controllable mental aspects & the inner workings of the
> body/mind decide to go bungee jumping.
>
> which means i need to go back to your link & repeat as needed.

I'm glad I have something to offer that may help. :-)

I'm thinking I need to single out that blogpost as a permanent webpage,
because I need to refer to it myself sometimes. :-)

--
Keera in Norway * Think big and then ask for more.
http://home.online.no/~kafox/