OT: Humour for Lexophiles

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting
a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum
blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.



--
Shirley
http://community.webshots.com/user/shirleycatuk

On Mar 11, 11:20 am, "Shirley" <shirleyca...@google.com> wrote:
> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
>
> Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting
> a rest.
>
> Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
> right now.
>
> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
>
> The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
> his work.
>
> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
>
> When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
>
> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
> large.
>
> A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
>
> A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
> criminal.
>
> Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
>
> We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
>
> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
>
> The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
> it.
>
> The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
> ground.
>
> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
>
> If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
>
> A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
>
> A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>
> A will is a dead giveaway.
>
> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>
> A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
> Count that votes.
>
> A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>
> If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
>
> With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
>
> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
> miner.
>
> When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
>
> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>
> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum
> blownapart.
>
> You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
> Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
>
> He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
>
> A calendar's days are numbered.
>
> A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
>
> A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>
> He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>
> A plateau is a high form of flattery.
>
> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>
> When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
>
> If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
>
> When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
>
> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
>
> Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
> Acupuncture: a jab well done.
>
> --
> Shirleyhttp://community.webshots.com/user/shirleycatuk

rather liked those. just a question - i have developed an increasing
fondness for all types of word/language play/etc even as i grow
increasingly distant from my actual language skills. wondering if
anyone has noticed changes of the sort during peri & beyond. or is
it, for those so inclined, a lifetime fascination?

Shirley wrote:

Some Truly Awful puns and wordplay:

Of course, that is the highest praise of punnery. :-)

FurPaw



--
"Every gun that is made, every warship launched,
every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

To reply, unleash the dogs.

ellen wrote:

> rather liked those. just a question - i have developed an increasing
> fondness for all types of word/language play/etc even as i grow
> increasingly distant from my actual language skills. wondering if
> anyone has noticed changes of the sort during peri & beyond. or is
> it, for those so inclined, a lifetime fascination?

I really enjoyed these, but I've always enjoyed word-play and
language oddities.

Did you ever read The Mother Tongue, by Bill Bryson (?), or
Anguished English by Richard Lerderer? If you like reading about
language and words, these are good reads.

FurPaw
--
"Every gun that is made, every warship launched,
every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

To reply, unleash the dogs.

"ellen" <epdpster@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:5e7ceb90-7adf-4fd4-8602-ca2fd4078b41@s19g2000prg.googlegroups.com...
> On Mar 11, 11:20 am, "Shirley" <shirleyca...@google.com> wrote:
>> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
>>
>> Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting
>> a rest.
>>
>> Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
>> right now.
>>
>> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
>>
>> The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
>> his work.
>>
>> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
>>
>> When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
>>
>> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
>> large.
>>
>> A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
>>
>> A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
>> criminal.
>>
>> Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
>>
>> We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
>>
>> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
>>
>> The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
>> it.
>>
>> The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
>> ground.
>>
>> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
>>
>> If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
>>
>> A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
>>
>> A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>>
>> A will is a dead giveaway.
>>
>> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>>
>> A backward poet writes inverse.
>>
>> In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
>> Count that votes.
>>
>> A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>>
>> If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
>>
>> With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
>>
>> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
>> miner.
>>
>> When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
>>
>> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>>
>> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum
>> blownapart.
>>
>> You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>>
>> Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
>>
>> He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
>>
>> A calendar's days are numbered.
>>
>> A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
>>
>> A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>>
>> He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>>
>> A plateau is a high form of flattery.
>>
>> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>>
>> When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
>>
>> If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
>>
>> When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
>>
>> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
>>
>> Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>>
>> Acupuncture: a jab well done.
>>
>> --
>> Shirleyhttp://community.webshots.com/user/shirleycatuk
>
> rather liked those. just a question - i have developed an increasing
> fondness for all types of word/language play/etc even as i grow
> increasingly distant from my actual language skills. wondering if
> anyone has noticed changes of the sort during peri & beyond. or is
> it, for those so inclined, a lifetime fascination?

Lifetime, in my case; I've always enjoyed words, the origins of sayings,
word play, etc. (Except I am *terrible* at making up puns - they're
virtually always unintentional.) I remember walking home with a friend in
elem. school - 4th gr., maybe. She made the comment that I used words she
never used - & sometimes had never heard of. This surprised me; I'd never
consciously thought about it before that, but then realized I really liked
learning new words & using them when I could.

Cathy

"FurPaw" <furrealpawdog@gmaildog.com> wrote in message
news:YdudnfZ25KCA1UranZ2dnUVZ_sWdnZ2d@comcast.com. ..
> ellen wrote:
>
>> rather liked those. just a question - i have developed an increasing
>> fondness for all types of word/language play/etc even as i grow
>> increasingly distant from my actual language skills. wondering if
>> anyone has noticed changes of the sort during peri & beyond. or is
>> it, for those so inclined, a lifetime fascination?
>
> I really enjoyed these, but I've always enjoyed word-play and language
> oddities.
>
> Did you ever read The Mother Tongue, by Bill Bryson (?),

Oh, oh - I alnost made mention of this book in my other psot in this thread!
It was my first Bill Bryson book; very cool. IMO. (After that I read "A
Walk in the Woods" - quite different of course, content-wise, and then his
various other books.)

or
> Anguished English by Richard Lerderer? If you like reading about language
> and words, these are good reads.

I think you've mentioned this one before. Or maybe it was someone in another
ng - very possible. At any rate, whoever recommended it to me - I'd
forgotten about it. But should check it out.

Cathy

>
> FurPaw
> --
> "Every gun that is made, every warship launched,
> every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense
> a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
> those who are cold and are not clothed."
> - Dwight D. Eisenhower
>
> To reply, unleash the dogs.

On Mar 11, 10:02 pm, FurPaw <furrealpaw...@gmaildog.com> wrote:
> ellen wrote:
> > rather liked those. just a question - i have developed an increasing
> > fondness for all types of word/language play/etc even as i grow
> > increasingly distant from my actual language skills. wondering if
> > anyone has noticed changes of the sort during peri & beyond. or is
> > it, for those so inclined, a lifetime fascination?
>
> I really enjoyed these, but I've always enjoyed word-play and
> language oddities.
>
> Did you ever read The Mother Tongue, by Bill Bryson (?), or
> Anguished English by Richard Lerderer? If you like reading about
> language and words, these are good reads.
>
> FurPaw
> --
> "Every gun that is made, every warship launched,
> every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense
> a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
> those who are cold and are not clothed."
> - Dwight D. Eisenhower
>
> To reply, unleash the dogs.

have not read either, but i especially like the title 'anguished
english.' love bill bryson's writing as well.

On Mar 11, 10:12 pm, "Cathy F." <clfrc...@adelphiadotdashdot.net>
wrote:
> "ellen" <epdps...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:5e7ceb90-7adf-4fd4-8602-ca2fd4078b41@s19g2000prg.googlegroups.com...
>
>
>
> > On Mar 11, 11:20 am, "Shirley" <shirleyca...@google.com> wrote:
> >> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
>
> >> Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting
> >> a rest.
>
> >> Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
> >> right now.
>
> >> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
>
> >> The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
> >> his work.
>
> >> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
>
> >> When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
>
> >> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
> >> large.
>
> >> A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
>
> >> A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
> >> criminal.
>
> >> Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
>
> >> We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
>
> >> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
>
> >> The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
> >> it.
>
> >> The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
> >> ground.
>
> >> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
>
> >> If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
>
> >> A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
>
> >> A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>
> >> A will is a dead giveaway.
>
> >> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>
> >> A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> >> In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
> >> Count that votes.
>
> >> A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>
> >> If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
>
> >> With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
>
> >> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
> >> miner.
>
> >> When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
>
> >> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>
> >> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum
> >> blownapart.
>
> >> You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
> >> Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
>
> >> He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
>
> >> A calendar's days are numbered.
>
> >> A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
>
> >> A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>
> >> He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>
> >> A plateau is a high form of flattery.
>
> >> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>
> >> When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
>
> >> If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
>
> >> When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
>
> >> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
>
> >> Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
> >> Acupuncture: a jab well done.
>
> >> --
> >> Shirleyhttp://community.webshots.com/user/shirleycatuk
>
> > rather liked those. just a question - i have developed an increasing
> > fondness for all types of word/language play/etc even as i grow
> > increasingly distant from my actual language skills. wondering if
> > anyone has noticed changes of the sort during peri & beyond. or is
> > it, for those so inclined, a lifetime fascination?
>
> Lifetime, in my case; I've always enjoyed words, the origins of sayings,
> word play, etc. (Except I am *terrible* at making up puns - they're
> virtually always unintentional.) I remember walking home with a friend in
> elem. school - 4th gr., maybe. She made the comment that I used words she
> never used - & sometimes had never heard of. This surprised me; I'd never
> consciously thought about it before that, but then realized I really liked
> learning new words & using them when I could.
>
> Cathy

i did kind of assume that, in most cases, it is a lifetime love of
language. i find the unintentional punning to be a fascinating
phenomenon. keep the love going & thanks for overlooking my
unintentional assaults on words, grammer, punctuation. (just made a
few in another post - at least not all of my days are like this).

a recent favorite told to me by my neighbor: 'rosie & i went to a
chinese buffet & had some don juan soup.'

Shirley <shirleycatuk@google.com> wrote:
> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

> Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting
> a rest.

> Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
> right now.

> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

> The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
> his work.

> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

> When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
> large.

> A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

> A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
> criminal.

> Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

> We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

> The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
> it.

> The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
> ground.

> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

> If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

> A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

> A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

> A will is a dead giveaway.

> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

> A backward poet writes inverse.

> In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
> Count that votes.

> A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

> If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

> With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
> miner.

> When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum
> blownapart.

> You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

> Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

> He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

> A calendar's days are numbered.

> A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

> A boiled egg is hard to beat.

> He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

> A plateau is a high form of flattery.

> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

> When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.

> If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

> When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

> Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

> Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Very nice! Here's one based on homophonia :-) It's a comment on the
problems of talking to computers.

It's hard to wreck a nice beach.

--
Chris Malcolm cam@infirmatics.ed.ac.uk DoD #205
IPAB, Informatics, JCMB, King's Buildings, Edinburgh, EH9 3JZ, UK
[http://www.dai.ed.ac.uk/homes/cam/]

Chris Malcolm wrote:

> Very nice! Here's one based on homophonia :-) It's a comment on the
> problems of talking to computers.
>
> It's hard to wreck a nice beach.

Do mairzey doats? How do you support whirled peas?

(Damn, it's hard to come up with an original... what do you call
these? Do they have a name?)

FurPaw

--
"Every gun that is made, every warship launched,
every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

To reply, unleash the dogs.

"Chris Malcolm" <cam@holyrood.ed.ac.uk> wrote in message
news:649r53F2b685qU3@mid.individual.net...
> Shirley <shirleycatuk@google.com> wrote:
>> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
>
>> Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting
>> a rest.
>
>> Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
>> right now.
>
>> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
>
>> The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
>> his work.
>
>> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
>
>> When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
>
>> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
>> large.
>
>> A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
>
>> A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
>> criminal.
>
>> Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
>
>> We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
>
>> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
>
>> The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
>> it.
>
>> The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
>> ground.
>
>> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
>
>> If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
>
>> A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
>
>> A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>
>> A will is a dead giveaway.
>
>> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>
>> A backward poet writes inverse.
>
>> In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
>> Count that votes.
>
>> A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>
>> If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
>
>> With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
>
>> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
>> miner.
>
>> When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
>
>> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>
>> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum
>> blownapart.
>
>> You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
>> Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
>
>> He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
>
>> A calendar's days are numbered.
>
>> A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
>
>> A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>
>> He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>
>> A plateau is a high form of flattery.
>
>> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>
>> When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
>
>> If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
>
>> When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
>
>> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
>
>> Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
>> Acupuncture: a jab well done.
>
> Very nice! Here's one based on homophonia :-) It's a comment on the
> problems of talking to computers.
>
> It's hard to wreck a nice beach.

Okay, I figured out "recognize", but I'm stuck re: beach...

Cathy

Cathy F. wrote:
> "Chris Malcolm" <cam@holyrood.ed.ac.uk> wrote in message
> news:649r53F2b685qU3@mid.individual.net...
>> Shirley <shirleycatuk@google.com> wrote:
>>> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
>>> Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting
>>> a rest.
>>> Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
>>> right now.
>>> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
>>> The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
>>> his work.
>>> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
>>> When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
>>> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
>>> large.
>>> A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
>>> A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
>>> criminal.
>>> Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
>>> We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
>>> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
>>> The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
>>> it.
>>> The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
>>> ground.
>>> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
>>> If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
>>> A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
>>> A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>>> A will is a dead giveaway.
>>> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>>> A backward poet writes inverse.
>>> In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
>>> Count that votes.
>>> A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>>> If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
>>> With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
>>> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
>>> miner.
>>> When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
>>> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>>> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum
>>> blownapart.
>>> You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>>> Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
>>> He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
>>> A calendar's days are numbered.
>>> A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
>>> A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>>> He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>>> A plateau is a high form of flattery.
>>> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>>> When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
>>> If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
>>> When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
>>> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
>>> Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>>> Acupuncture: a jab well done.
>> Very nice! Here's one based on homophonia :-) It's a comment on the
>> problems of talking to computers.
>>
>> It's hard to wreck a nice beach.
>
> Okay, I figured out "recognize", but I'm stuck re: beach...
>
> Cathy
>
>

Speech.



--
Jette Goldie
jette@blueyonder.co.uk
http://www.jette.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
http://wolfette.livejournal.com/
("reply to" is spamblocked - use the email addy in sig)

"Jette" <bosslady@scotlandmail.com> wrote in message
news:WuWDj.25251$XI.11883@text.news.virginmedia.co m...
> Cathy F. wrote:
>> "Chris Malcolm" <cam@holyrood.ed.ac.uk> wrote in message
>> news:649r53F2b685qU3@mid.individual.net...

>>> It's hard to wreck a nice beach.
>>
>> Okay, I figured out "recognize", but I'm stuck re: beach...
>>
>> Cathy
>>
>>
>
> Speech.

Ahhh.. thanks; that helps. I didn't slur 'nice' into 'beach'.

Cathy

FurPaw <furrealpawdog@gmaildog.com> wrote:

> Chris Malcolm wrote:
>
> > Very nice! Here's one based on homophonia :-) It's a comment on the
> > problems of talking to computers.
> >
> > It's hard to wreck a nice beach.
>
> Do mairzey doats? How do you support whirled peas?
>
> (Damn, it's hard to come up with an original... what do you call
> these? Do they have a name?)

In the music world, they're called mondegreens (misheard lyrics).

--
Keera in Norway * Think big and then ask for more.
http://home.online.no/~kafox/