OT? It's a conspiracy!

It's a conspiracy .


THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!

We Must Stop This Immediat ely! Have you noticed that stairs are
getting steeper . Groceries are heavier . And, everything is farther
away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to
discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young
ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak
up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same
silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I
am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the
other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into
an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't
even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this
morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection.........well,
REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking
life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them.
All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I
see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would
they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do
they think no one notices?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do
they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I
would never let myself weigh th at much! Just who do these people
think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on --
but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed
the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a
number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK! Unless
something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer
these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN
GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size , because something
has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once
were.





















Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons,
for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Thank god. I thought it was just me.

ep

"Dana©" <AneeBear@ownmail.com> wrote in message
news5lpq2t6ntjfs8lruufqsrish4ofsjkp2p@4ax.com...
> It's a conspiracy .
>
>
> THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!
>
> We Must Stop This Immediat ely! Have you noticed that stairs are
> getting steeper . Groceries are heavier . And, everything is farther
> away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to
> discover how long our street had become!
>
> And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young
> ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak
> up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same
> silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I
> am, a lip reader?
>
> I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the
> other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into
> an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't
> even recognize me.
>
> I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this
> morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection.........well,
> REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
>
> Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking
> life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them.
> All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I
> see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
>
> Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would
> they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do
> they think no one notices?
>
> The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do
> they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I
> would never let myself weigh th at much! Just who do these people
> think they're fooling?
>
> I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on --
> but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed
> the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a
> number in there!
>
> All I can do is pass along this warning: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK! Unless
> something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer
> these awful indignities.
>
> PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN
> GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
>
> PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size , because something
> has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once
> were.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons,
> for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Someone came in while I was sleeping (must have been very soundly
sleeping) and made my bladder smaller too!

meno.mama@hotmail.com wrote:
> Someone came in while I was sleeping (must have been very soundly
> sleeping) and made my bladder smaller too!

ROFL! Me too!

And my feet bigger.

And all the lights are dimmer.

But the one that really bugs me is the thing that goes around and
suck facts, names, and the spelling of words right out of my brane.

(Good post, Dana!)

FurPaw


--
Better dead than Red.

To reply, unleash the dog.

And who turned the temperature up so high? Yeah, there's global
warming, but I understood that was only supposed to be a couple
degrees. At this rate, the manufacturers of electric blankets will
surely go broke! Eider ducks will get to keep their nice warm
feathers. No longer will sheep have to worry about their skins being
turned into slippers. We animal lovers can stop agonizing about fur
farms. Natural gas shortages? Who needs a heated house, anyway? Or a
water heater?
Warmest regards,
Les

FurPaw wrote:
> meno.mama@hotmail.com wrote:
> > Someone came in while I was sleeping (must have been very soundly
> > sleeping) and made my bladder smaller too!
>
> ROFL! Me too!
>
> And my feet bigger.
>
> And all the lights are dimmer.
>
> But the one that really bugs me is the thing that goes around and
> suck facts, names, and the spelling of words right out of my brane.
>
> (Good post, Dana!)
>
> FurPaw
>
>
> --
> Better dead than Red.
>
> To reply, unleash the dog.

sage hen wrote the following on 1/18/2007 11:09 AM:
> And who turned the temperature up so high? Yeah, there's global
> warming, but I understood that was only supposed to be a couple
> degrees. At this rate, the manufacturers of electric blankets will
> surely go broke! Eider ducks will get to keep their nice warm
> feathers.

Yes, I never thought I would be grateful for DH's habit of confiscating
the comforter. :-)

Karen R.

FurPaw wrote:

>
> But the one that really bugs me is the thing that goes around and
> suck facts, names, and the spelling of words right out of my brane.


Attempted to introduce my boss (of 2.5 years) to someone last week and
forgot his name.

I believe there is a Roomba running around in my head, randomly
vacuuming up bits of fluff that used to contain valuable data.
Sometimes this Roomba regurgitates and I remember something really
important, like what I had for lunch yesterday.

I've also found that my feet have gone further than my arms can reach,
and yet I've shrunken in height.

Go figure.

menomama wrote:
> FurPaw wrote:

I believe there is a Roomba running around in my head, randomly
> vacuuming up bits of fluff that used to contain valuable data.
> Sometimes this Roomba regurgitates and I remember something really
> important, like what I had for lunch yesterday.

Oh, this is good! A rogue Roomba in the brain!

FurPaw
--
Better dead than Red.

To reply, unleash the dog.