Depression Day Looms

Depression Day, (i.e. Valentines), Looms ever closer and I am still
single as has been the case for years, so I dread this day's arrival
as I know it means lots of men are getting love and affection (quite
often from women I would like to get love and affection from!) and I
am still on my own. As always.

I haven't ever had a single valentines card from anyone in my whole
life! Ho hum.

Just over a week to go until the complete and utter
horriblenessess....

On Feb 5, 5:46*am, CosmicWatchmaker <derekkeep...@btinternet.com>
wrote:
> Depression Day, (i.e. Valentines), Looms ever closer and I am still
> single as has been the case for years, so I dread this day's arrival
> as I know it means lots of men are getting love and affection (quite
> often from women I would like to get love and affection from!) and I
> am still on my own. As always.
>
> I haven't ever had a single valentines card from anyone in my whole
> life! Ho hum.
>
> Just over a week to go until the complete and utter
> horriblenessess....

I used to feel that way when I was younger. Then I got up the nerve to
go out with them, only to wind up in a bad marriage. Stilll, the first
thing to
do is to go someplace where you can meet women. Women, too,
spend a lot of time complaining about how hard it is to
find a guy, so its not men only who can't always find someone.
When you find someone who is available, then ask her for her
phone number, and mumble something about how you would like to
get together with her. Its Ok to be nervous then, since it is normal.
I would reccomend just getting together with her for coffee, then if
the
chemistry is right, go with the full date of dinner, nice clothes etc.
Don't psych yourself out by imaging that you will fail. One myth
is that women only like smooth, confident, aggressive guys. Yes,
some women do go for that, but a lot of them also go for the shy,
quiet guy.
The important thing is to be positive and not whine and complain.
Women also like good grooming and age appropriate clothes.
In my experience, most women will not react really negatively to
a polite attempt to get to see them later. They may say no, but
the ones who get offended or start ridiculing you are not common.

On Feb 5, 4:46 am, CosmicWatchmaker <derekkeep...@btinternet.com>
wrote:
> Depression Day, (i.e. Valentines), Looms ever closer and I am still
> single as has been the case for years, so I dread this day's arrival
> as I know it means lots of men are getting love and affection (quite
> often from women I would like to get love and affection from!) and I
> am still on my own. As always.
>
> I haven't ever had a single valentines card from anyone in my whole
> life! Ho hum.
>
> Just over a week to go until the complete and utter
> horriblenessess....

I have spent most of my Valentine's days alone.

Why don't you try an online dating service... I think that is a nice,
low-pressure way to meet someone. You can be yourself from the
beginning and make a profile, and the ones who would really take you
as you are would answer.

Alison

On 5 Feb, 07:30, "Guizot...@gmail.com" <Guizot...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Feb 5, 5:46*am, CosmicWatchmaker <derekkeep...@btinternet.com>
> wrote:
>
> > Depression Day, (i.e. Valentines), Looms ever closer and I am still
> > single as has been the case for years, so I dread this day's arrival
> > as I know it means lots of men are getting love and affection (quite
> > often from women I would like to get love and affection from!) and I
> > am still on my own. As always.
>
> > I haven't ever had a single valentines card from anyone in my whole
> > life! Ho hum.
>
> > Just over a week to go until the complete and utter
> > horriblenessess....
>
> I used to feel that way when I was younger. Then I got up the nerve to
> go out with them, only to wind up in a bad marriage. Stilll, the first
> thing to
> do is to go someplace where you can meet women. Women, too,
> spend a lot of time complaining about how hard it is to
> find a guy, so its not men only who can't always find someone.
> * *When you find someone who is available, then ask her for her
> phone number, and mumble something about how you would like to
> get together with her. Its Ok to be nervous then, since it is normal.
> I would reccomend just getting together with her for coffee, then if
> the
> chemistry is right, go with the full date of dinner, nice clothes etc.
> * *Don't psych yourself out by imaging that you will fail. One myth
> is that women only like smooth, confident, aggressive guys. Yes,
> some women do go for that, but a lot of them also go for the shy,
> quiet guy.
> The important thing is to be positive and not whine and complain.
> Women also like good grooming and age appropriate clothes.
> In my experience, most women will not react really negatively to
> a polite attempt to get to see them later. They may say no, but
> the ones who get offended or start ridiculing you are not common.

Thank you for the advice.

I have asked someone for their phone number before and then met up and
went out with them to cafe, walk along beach etc...but it was after
about three times meeting up I got a "I'm not ready for a relationship
right now" speech, and it seemed at this point I felt I was fooling
myself all along and she only ever wanted to be friends. More recently
I met someone and asked them for a drink and again, we went out a few
times to the pub and to a cafe, and then I got a "lets be friends"
speech again.

I want to really know where I am tripping up as I can get over the
first hurdle of asking someone for number or drink, but then get
stuck.

CW

Just to carry on, both of these women asked me if they had been
sending out mixed messages. I think they were, but didn't say this to
them.

I find it hard to read women and know if they are just being nice and
friendly or if they actually like me in that way.

Both of these times I found it really hard to read the signals. My
suspicion is because I didn't make a move sooner or because I was
inexperienced and it showed, that they thought I was a nice person but
not BF material.

How can you tell that someone definitely likes you romantically and
aren't just flirting for fun or being nice because they like you as a
friend?