Happy New Year.

I am kind of bummed though my girlfriend decided to hang at her local bar at
midnight then spenned it with me getting loaded at my local bar to midnight.
It is 12:37, and I am kind of drunk, but it is lonely when you spend it by
yourself.
Where is she???
I am bummed.

On Jan 1, 12:38*am, "whacko" <mdora...@verizon.net> wrote:
> I am kind of bummed though my girlfriend decided to hang at her local bar at
> midnight then spenned it with me getting loaded at my local bar to midnight.
> It is 12:37, and I am kind of drunk, but it is lonely when you spend it by
> yourself.
> Where is she???
> I am bummed.

Last time I had a girlfriend was 1995. After we broke up I spent more
than a year feeling lonely and desperate, but over time the wounds
healed and I learned to be content being alone. Having a significant
other takes more social skill than any other endeavour on earth, and I
have a neurologically-based social deficit, so in retrospect I was
criminally insane to get involved with a woman, at all, ever.

Guys, it's not women who are nothing but trouble. Gals, it's not men
who are nothing but trouble. It's the union of the two that creates
far more problems than it solves and is generally bad news for people
who aren't perfectly balanced and more intrepid than James Bond.

My life is socially impoverished by most standards. I have no one
within 900 miles of me except my parents and brother. But that's my
place in the world and I'm content with it now.

Miki

gypsumbreath@mikikocic.com wrote:
> On Jan 1, 12:38*am, "whacko" <mdora...@verizon.net> wrote:
>> I am kind of bummed though my girlfriend decided to hang at her local bar at
>> midnight then spenned it with me getting loaded at my local bar to midnight.
>> It is 12:37, and I am kind of drunk, but it is lonely when you spend it by
>> yourself.
>> Where is she???
>> I am bummed.
>
> Last time I had a girlfriend was 1995. After we broke up I spent more
> than a year feeling lonely and desperate, but over time the wounds
> healed and I learned to be content being alone. Having a significant
> other takes more social skill than any other endeavour on earth, and I
> have a neurologically-based social deficit, so in retrospect I was
> criminally insane to get involved with a woman, at all, ever.

I haven't found relationships to be socially demanding. Maybe more
emotionally draining, because sometimes there is no way to cheer up the
other person. But then I've only had 2 serious girlfriends. My last
relationship lasted 11 months.

I have a few rules for myself these days:
1. be myself (honest about every thing, even if it potentially hurts me)
2. treat the other person as I would want to be treated
3. don't be a pushover (this is a tough one with rule 2)

Caveat: if someone doesn't like you for applying rule 1, then it's not
worth the potential heartache, because it will come out in the end.

> Guys, it's not women who are nothing but trouble. Gals, it's not men
> who are nothing but trouble. It's the union of the two that creates
> far more problems than it solves and is generally bad news for people
> who aren't perfectly balanced and more intrepid than James Bond.

It helps if you have friends. My 2nd time around I had some good
friends that helped support me after the breakup, and I'm still friends
with my 2nd gf, though we don't talk a lot. Incidentally I lost a
surprising number of friends after I broke up with my 2nd girlfriend,
because I was mopey more often and different. So, I surmise that losing
a girlfriend is a good way to filter out the true friends, which isn't a
bad thing.

My Grandfather had a saying that you can count your true friends on 1
hand, and usually with 3 fingers.

> My life is socially impoverished by most standards. I have no one
> within 900 miles of me except my parents and brother. But that's my
> place in the world and I'm content with it now.
>
> Miki

You should treat yourself better Miki.

One other bit of advice -- the Myers Briggs/Jung personality tests can
tell you a lot about a person. I've found it helps me understand my
friends a lot better, when the test is accurate.


Take care,

George

On Jan 1, 4:53*am, George Peter Staplin
<georgepsSPAMME...@xmission.com> wrote:
> gypsumbre...@mikikocic.com wrote:
> > On Jan 1, 12:38*am, "whacko" <mdora...@verizon.net> wrote:
> >> I am kind of bummed though my girlfriend decided to hang at her local bar at
> >> midnight then spenned it with me getting loaded at my local bar to midnight.
> >> It is 12:37, and I am kind of drunk, but it is lonely when you spend itby
> >> yourself.
> >> Where is she???
> >> I am bummed.
>
> > Last time I had a girlfriend was 1995. After we broke up I spent more
> > than a year feeling lonely and desperate, but over time the wounds
> > healed and I learned to be content being alone. Having a significant
> > other takes more social skill than any other endeavour on earth, and I
> > have a neurologically-based social deficit, so in retrospect I was
> > criminally insane to get involved with a woman, at all, ever.
>
> I haven't found relationships to be socially demanding. *Maybe more
> emotionally draining, because sometimes there is no way to cheer up the
> other person. *But then I've only had 2 serious girlfriends. *My last
> relationship lasted 11 months.

My "darling" was a homely-bordering-on-ugly social outcast who bragged
to her schoolmates that she had a 30-year-old boyfriend and became the
laughingstock of the school. So she manoeuvred me into parading
through the hallways of her school and repeatedly kissed me--I thought
because she loved me. Silly me.

Her parents knew about our relationship but she begged me to hide it
from them so her father didn't become violent. Her parents had first
seen me coming with two adult friends of hers to pick her up for a
movie. I was coming straight from work at my job as compensation board
adjudicator and still dolled up in my suit, which made me look
handsome and together, and I drove a brand new $35,000 car they didn't
know was rented. Two weeks later, when she hung up the phone with me
and ran to her parents jumping up and down saying Miki had asked her
to be his mate, they looked at each other and said: "_Mate?_ That
doesn't sound like a diddler." So they kept inviting me over for
dinner and to family trips to the baseball stadium and to swim in
their pool and patiently waited for me to open up. But Melissa asked
for a peck, then an adult kiss, then cuddling, then fondling, then a
shower together, then sex. After two or three sexual failures, as I
sat there despondent, she muttered something about wanting to call
herself Melissa Kocic. You get the picture. When her parents finally
clued in her father asked me why I had permitted a 16-year-old to wrap
me around her little finger and said I'd better stay away or he
_would_ kill me. And in retrospect I agree with his sentiment 110%.
For a good 18 months afterwards I wished he had killed me, because two
weeks after we broke up, Melissa had the most popular guy at the
school as her boyfriend.

Sorry, George, but I ain't cut out for a close relationship with
another human being. Something about my clued-out-fool nature cries
out for abuse even from those who don't normally dish it out.

Miki

>
> I have a few rules for myself these days:
> 1. be myself (honest about every thing, even if it potentially hurts me)
> 2. treat the other person as I would want to be treated
> 3. don't be a pushover (this is a tough one with rule 2)
>
> Caveat: if someone doesn't like you for applying rule 1, then it's not
> worth the potential heartache, because it will come out in the end.
>
> > Guys, it's not women who are nothing but trouble. Gals, it's not men
> > who are nothing but trouble. It's the union of the two that creates
> > far more problems than it solves and is generally bad news for people
> > who aren't perfectly balanced and more intrepid than James Bond.
>
> It helps if you have friends. *My 2nd time around I had some good
> friends that helped support me after the breakup, and I'm still friends
> with my 2nd gf, though we don't talk a lot. *Incidentally I lost a
> surprising number of friends after I broke up with my 2nd girlfriend,
> because I was mopey more often and different. *So, I surmise that losing
> a girlfriend is a good way to filter out the true friends, which isn't a
> bad thing.
>
> My Grandfather had a saying that you can count your true friends on 1
> hand, and usually with 3 fingers.
>
> > My life is socially impoverished by most standards. I have no one
> > within 900 miles of me except my parents and brother. But that's my
> > place in the world and I'm content with it now.
>
> > Miki
>
> You should treat yourself better Miki.
>
> One other bit of advice -- the Myers Briggs/Jung personality tests can
> tell you a lot about a person. *I've found it helps me understand my
> friends a lot better, when the test is accurate.
>
> Take care,
>
> George

Something about my clued-out-fool nature cries
> out for abuse even from those who don't normally dish it out.
>
> Miki


You are being way too hard on yourself Miki.

On Jan 1, 10:16*am, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
> *Something about my clued-out-fool nature cries
>
> > out for abuse even from those who don't normally dish it out.
>
> > Miki
>
> You are being way too hard on yourself Miki.

Shit, when I get drunk, why can't I at least post messages about
traumatic wartime memories the way Deep Thoughts does? Why does it
have to be about the humiliation of being taken advantage of by an
ignorant, self-centred teenage hustler?

For years I was terrified to disclose Melissa's age because I was sure
a gang of enraged listeners would tear my balls off with their bare
hands before I could explain. But given that my balls have always
proven useless that wouldn't have been so bad.

Miki

gypsumbreath@mikikocic.com wrote:
> On Jan 1, 10:16*am, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> *Something about my clued-out-fool nature cries
>>
>> > out for abuse even from those who don't normally dish it out.
>>
>> > Miki
>>
>> You are being way too hard on yourself Miki.
>
> Shit, when I get drunk, why can't I at least post messages about
> traumatic wartime memories the way Deep Thoughts does? Why does it
> have to be about the humiliation of being taken advantage of by an
> ignorant, self-centred teenage hustler?
>
> For years I was terrified to disclose Melissa's age because I was sure
> a gang of enraged listeners would tear my balls off with their bare
> hands before I could explain. But given that my balls have always
> proven useless that wouldn't have been so bad.
>
> Miki

Hi Miki,

You need to learn to treat yourself better. I've seen few people
unleash such vitriol towards themselves, as you. It's actually a bit
painful to watch, because I know you must be hurting. I don't want you
to hurt yourself.

http://www.serve.com/cmtan/Dhammapada/self.html
http://www.serve.com/cmtan/Dhammapada/


George

On Jan 1, 2:19*pm, George Peter Staplin
<georgepsSPAMME...@xmission.com> wrote:
> gypsumbre...@mikikocic.com wrote:
> > On Jan 1, 10:16*am, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >> *Something about my clued-out-fool nature cries
>
> >> > out for abuse even from those who don't normally dish it out.
>
> >> > Miki
>
> >> You are being way too hard on yourself Miki.
>
> > Shit, when I get drunk, why can't I at least post messages about
> > traumatic wartime memories the way Deep Thoughts does? Why does it
> > have to be about the humiliation of being taken advantage of by an
> > ignorant, self-centred teenage hustler?
>
> > For years I was terrified to disclose Melissa's age because I was sure
> > a gang of enraged listeners would tear my balls off with their bare
> > hands before I could explain. But given that my balls have always
> > proven useless that wouldn't have been so bad.
>
> > Miki
>
> Hi Miki,
>
> You need to learn to treat yourself better. *I've seen few people
> unleash such vitriol towards themselves, as you. *It's actually a bit
> painful to watch, because I know you must be hurting. *I don't want you
> to hurt yourself.
>
> http://www.serve.com/cmtan/Dhammapad...an/Dhammapada/
>
> George- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

I'm down from 215 pounds to about 185. My doc says that, given my bone
structure, about 160 would be my normal weight even though I'm only
5'6". And from all the walking around I do and carrying stuff to and
from the bus stop, my legs and arms have more tone and stamina than
they ever have. I still have quite a gut, but my legs and chest are
getting trim enough for me to see muscle moving under the skin, and my
ass is developing weight-loss folds at the bottom and looking like a
normal fit man's ass up top. Sometimes, while changing underclothes, I
glance at myself in the narrow full-length mirror on the wall at the
foot of my bed and peg myself as about a 6.5 out of 10. Most of the
_women_ I meet in this neighbourhood top out at 5.5. It's utterly
ridiculous that I have no one to cuddle and trade neck rubs with. But
everyone, I guess, must carry his own cross.

Miki