help! i need advice

I was in a relationship with a guy who is a paranoid schizophrenic.
He lives in a group home, but our relationship was amazing. We had
our future planned out. We were head over heels in love. We were
perfect for each other. I never saw any of his symptoms or anything.
We had a big fight on the phone the Monday before Thanksgiving. We've
had fights before, but we've always been able to work things out. We
never could stay mad at each other. This fight really screwed up the
relationship. I've tried talking to him. I've sent him emails and
letters. I even had a friend call him. He told my friend that he
still loves me and sees a future with me. He said that he really took
the fight personally. He told her that he just needs some space from
life and he'd call me in about a week when he'd be ready to talk. She
said he sounded depressed. I didn't hear from him, so my friend
called him again. It was like he was a completely different person.
He said that he didn't want a relationship with me right now but that
he still cared about me. So I called him the next night and he acted
even worse. First he said "don't you realize its over?" I tried
talking to him about everything. It started to sound like maybe we
were going to work things out, but then he said "get some self-
esteem, and then we'll talk." Then he hung up on me. I think if he
really hated me or didn't want to be with me he would've been cursing
at me and stuff like that. He was with a girl for 6 and a half years
before he was with me. She treated him horribly. So I don't know if
maybe he was afraid that I'm going to start acting like her or
something like that. I spoiled him. He has no job, no money, no car.
I did everything for him. He'll never find another relationship like
we had. I know that this time of year is depressing for a lot of
people (including myself). I'm wondering if his symptoms are starting
to come out, and maybe he needs different meds or hospitalization.
I'm also wondering if maybe people are putting things into his head.
I really want him back in my life, but I don't know what to do. I
love him so much and would do anything for him. Does anyone have any
advice? Does he still love me? Does he maybe just need some time?

"erinp150" <erinp150@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:a8a5d910-609d-4328-88d6-407c38aa68e4@e4g2000hsg.googlegroups.com...
>I was in a relationship with a guy who is a paranoid schizophrenic.
> He lives in a group home, but our relationship was amazing. We had
> our future planned out. We were head over heels in love. We were
> perfect for each other. I never saw any of his symptoms or anything.
> We had a big fight on the phone the Monday before Thanksgiving. We've
> had fights before, but we've always been able to work things out. We
> never could stay mad at each other. This fight really screwed up the
> relationship. I've tried talking to him. I've sent him emails and
> letters. I even had a friend call him. He told my friend that he
> still loves me and sees a future with me. He said that he really took
> the fight personally. He told her that he just needs some space from
> life and he'd call me in about a week when he'd be ready to talk. She
> said he sounded depressed. I didn't hear from him, so my friend
> called him again. It was like he was a completely different person.
> He said that he didn't want a relationship with me right now but that
> he still cared about me. So I called him the next night and he acted
> even worse. First he said "don't you realize its over?" I tried
> talking to him about everything. It started to sound like maybe we
> were going to work things out, but then he said "get some self-
> esteem, and then we'll talk." Then he hung up on me. I think if he
> really hated me or didn't want to be with me he would've been cursing
> at me and stuff like that. He was with a girl for 6 and a half years
> before he was with me. She treated him horribly. So I don't know if
> maybe he was afraid that I'm going to start acting like her or
> something like that. I spoiled him. He has no job, no money, no car.
> I did everything for him. He'll never find another relationship like
> we had. I know that this time of year is depressing for a lot of
> people (including myself). I'm wondering if his symptoms are starting
> to come out, and maybe he needs different meds or hospitalization.
> I'm also wondering if maybe people are putting things into his head.
> I really want him back in my life, but I don't know what to do. I
> love him so much and would do anything for him. Does anyone have any
> advice? Does he still love me? Does he maybe just need some time?

I can only speculate, of course.

As Paranoid Schizophrenic, if he is not properly medicated, he may have
delusional beliefs about you and others. With a change in medication he
might return.

It is also quite possible that he really has lost interest in the
relationship. In such a case, I would suspect that there is another woman,
or (forgive me for this) something untoward has happened to your physical
appearance. A guy is not likely to say that hairy legs upset him....

It sounds like he lost interest in the relationship. Give him some space
and don't call him. Wait to see if he calls you, if he doesn't it's
over.

penguin

.." He has no job, no money, no car.
I did everything for him. "


Wow what a catch. What kind of future do you envision with this
person?

erinp150 wrote:
> I was in a relationship with a guy who is a paranoid schizophrenic.
> He lives in a group home, but our relationship was amazing. We had
> our future planned out. We were head over heels in love. We were
> perfect for each other. I never saw any of his symptoms or anything.

Never? You may be seeing his symptoms now.

> We had a big fight on the phone the Monday before Thanksgiving. We've
> had fights before, but we've always been able to work things out. We
> never could stay mad at each other. This fight really screwed up the
> relationship. I've tried talking to him. I've sent him emails and
> letters. I even had a friend call him. He told my friend that he
> still loves me and sees a future with me. He said that he really took
> the fight personally. He told her that he just needs some space from
> life and he'd call me in about a week when he'd be ready to talk. She
> said he sounded depressed. I didn't hear from him, so my friend
> called him again. It was like he was a completely different person.
> He said that he didn't want a relationship with me right now but that
> he still cared about me. So I called him the next night and he acted
> even worse. First he said "don't you realize its over?" I tried
> talking to him about everything. It started to sound like maybe we
> were going to work things out, but then he said "get some self-
> esteem, and then we'll talk." Then he hung up on me.

Do you have a self-esteem problem? Are you more needy or doubtful than
you should be?

> I think if he
> really hated me or didn't want to be with me he would've been cursing
> at me and stuff like that. He was with a girl for 6 and a half years
> before he was with me. She treated him horribly. So I don't know if
> maybe he was afraid that I'm going to start acting like her or
> something like that. I spoiled him. He has no job, no money, no car.
> I did everything for him. He'll never find another relationship like
> we had.

Money and toys aren't everything. It sounds as if he needs/wants
emotional support and an emotional and sexual partner more than anything
else in life. I personally would feel guilty if I heard what you just
said about him. It doesn't feel good to me to be a parasite. Who says
he can't find a better relationship? However, for now leave that out of
the equation...

> I know that this time of year is depressing for a lot of
> people (including myself). I'm wondering if his symptoms are starting
> to come out, and maybe he needs different meds or hospitalization.

Meds influence our thoughts indeed, but if you really want to help him,
talk with him honestly, and tell him how you feel about things, and him.
He may not even know you consider him so important. I realize you feel
hurt right now, but you 2 can work that out with the proper forgiveness.

Forgiving to me means not mentioning something again, after you have
accepted an apology. It requires both parties to try to move past the
issue. Alas, I'm not always good at this myself.

> I'm also wondering if maybe people are putting things into his head.
> I really want him back in my life, but I don't know what to do. I
> love him so much and would do anything for him. Does anyone have any
> advice? Does he still love me? Does he maybe just need some time?

Love isn't everything. After having 2 serious girlfriends, I think love
is not all it's cracked up to be. There are other important aspects of
a relationship.

Being a subordinate or drain on society or especially an individual is
something that bothers me.

A paranoid schizophrenic is just like anyone else, with feelings,
thoughts, and emotions. Some of us have unique abilities with thoughts
that we pay for by being ostracized and belittled in the media.


George
--
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a
better understanding of ourselves. -- Carl Jung

X-No-Archive: yes
On Dec 17, 8:31 pm, Secretagentman <flat.geo...@gmail.com> wrote:
> ." He has no job, no money, no car.
> I did everything for him. "
>
> Wow what a catch. What kind of future do you envision with this
> person?

A future where she controls him like you control your dick!

<chessucat hisses and spits>

X-No-Archive: yes
On Dec 17, 5:50 pm, erinp150 <> whined:
<snipped manipulative bitch crap>
> before he was with me. She treated him horribly. So I don't know if
> maybe he was afraid that I'm going to start acting like her or
> something like that. I spoiled him. He has no job, no money, no car.
> I did everything for him. He'll never find another relationship like
> we had. I know that this time of year is depressing for a lot of
> people (including myself). I'm wondering if his symptoms are starting
> to come out, and maybe he needs different meds or hospitalization.
> I'm also wondering if maybe people are putting things into his head.
> I really want him back in my life, but I don't know what to do. I
> love him so much and would do anything for him. Does anyone have any
> advice? Does he still love me? Does he maybe just need some time?

Go fuck yourself!! You evil WHORE, SLUT, BITCH!!!:-(

<chessucat hisses and spits>

GPS - Well said.

I wonder if the OP ever checked back to see the replies?


"George Peter Staplin" <georgepsSPAMMENOT@xmission.com> wrote in message
news:fkam3g$s36$1@news.xmission.com...
> erinp150 wrote:
>> I was in a relationship with a guy who is a paranoid schizophrenic.
>> He lives in a group home, but our relationship was amazing. We had
>> our future planned out. We were head over heels in love. We were
>> perfect for each other. I never saw any of his symptoms or anything.
>
> Never? You may be seeing his symptoms now.
>
>> We had a big fight on the phone the Monday before Thanksgiving. We've
>> had fights before, but we've always been able to work things out. We
>> never could stay mad at each other. This fight really screwed up the
>> relationship. I've tried talking to him. I've sent him emails and
>> letters. I even had a friend call him. He told my friend that he
>> still loves me and sees a future with me. He said that he really took
>> the fight personally. He told her that he just needs some space from
>> life and he'd call me in about a week when he'd be ready to talk. She
>> said he sounded depressed. I didn't hear from him, so my friend
>> called him again. It was like he was a completely different person.
>> He said that he didn't want a relationship with me right now but that
>> he still cared about me. So I called him the next night and he acted
>> even worse. First he said "don't you realize its over?" I tried
>> talking to him about everything. It started to sound like maybe we
>> were going to work things out, but then he said "get some self-
>> esteem, and then we'll talk." Then he hung up on me.
>
> Do you have a self-esteem problem? Are you more needy or doubtful than
> you should be?
>
>> I think if he
>> really hated me or didn't want to be with me he would've been cursing
>> at me and stuff like that. He was with a girl for 6 and a half years
>> before he was with me. She treated him horribly. So I don't know if
>> maybe he was afraid that I'm going to start acting like her or
>> something like that. I spoiled him. He has no job, no money, no car.
>> I did everything for him. He'll never find another relationship like
>> we had.
>
> Money and toys aren't everything. It sounds as if he needs/wants
> emotional support and an emotional and sexual partner more than anything
> else in life. I personally would feel guilty if I heard what you just
> said about him. It doesn't feel good to me to be a parasite. Who says
> he can't find a better relationship? However, for now leave that out of
> the equation...
>
>> I know that this time of year is depressing for a lot of
>> people (including myself). I'm wondering if his symptoms are starting
>> to come out, and maybe he needs different meds or hospitalization.
>
> Meds influence our thoughts indeed, but if you really want to help him,
> talk with him honestly, and tell him how you feel about things, and him.
> He may not even know you consider him so important. I realize you feel
> hurt right now, but you 2 can work that out with the proper forgiveness.
>
> Forgiving to me means not mentioning something again, after you have
> accepted an apology. It requires both parties to try to move past the
> issue. Alas, I'm not always good at this myself.
>
>> I'm also wondering if maybe people are putting things into his head.
>> I really want him back in my life, but I don't know what to do. I
>> love him so much and would do anything for him. Does anyone have any
>> advice? Does he still love me? Does he maybe just need some time?
>
> Love isn't everything. After having 2 serious girlfriends, I think love
> is not all it's cracked up to be. There are other important aspects of
> a relationship.
>
> Being a subordinate or drain on society or especially an individual is
> something that bothers me.
>
> A paranoid schizophrenic is just like anyone else, with feelings,
> thoughts, and emotions. Some of us have unique abilities with thoughts
> that we pay for by being ostracized and belittled in the media.
>
>
> George
> --
> Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a
> better understanding of ourselves. -- Carl Jung

Are you a schizophrenic? My last ex-wife and I never had an
argument. She was like a "professional student" and had many degrees
from many different universities, and I'm an intellecual so that we were
what could be called too proud to fight. At worst, we debated by
"Robert's Rules".
But, her intention was to rip me off of my inheritance and home
for the American Federation of Spiritualst Churches, and the VA's
guardianship system failed. I lost everything of monetary value.
Your schizophrenic boy friend may be lucky. I would have said,
"Goodby forever!" at the first real argument. And, it would have been
"good buy forever".
If you fight before marriage, forget it, it will surely be worse
after marriage. I have seen too many coulples who had such arguments
before marriage get divorced after marriage with serious personal
damages.
You don't have to listen to me. I admit, like Esau, I "sold my
birthright for red pottage". Better yet, confer with a real Christian
pastor, then make a decission.



http://community.webtv.net/mpereira/TheSecretsofthe

On Dec 19, 2:44*pm, chessucat <chessu...@gmail.com> wrote:
> X-No-Archive: yes
> On Dec 17, 5:50 pm, erinp150 <> whined:
> <snipped manipulative bitch crap>
>
> > before he was with me. She treated him horribly. So I don't know if
> > maybe he was afraid that I'm going to start acting like her or
> > something like that. I spoiled him. He has no job, no money, no car.
> > I did everything for him. He'll never find another relationship like
> > we had. I know that this time of year is depressing for a lot of
> > people (including myself). I'm wondering if his symptoms are starting
> > to come out, and maybe he needs different meds or hospitalization.
> > I'm also wondering if maybe people are putting things into his head.
> > I really want him back in my life, but I don't know what to do. I
> > love him so much and would do anything for him. Does anyone have any
> > advice? Does he still love me? Does he maybe just need some time?
>
> Go fuck yourself!! You evil WHORE, SLUT, BITCH!!!:-(
>
> <chessucat hisses and spits>

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? THERE IS NO NEED TO BE NASTY!!! YOU NEED SOME
SERIOUS HELP!!!!!!! THIS MESSAGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU SO IF YOU
DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY THAN DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL JACKASS