Lack of motivation today

Sitting here drinking coffee.

Have the day off from work but haven't been able to motivate so far to
do anything productive.

Wonder if I will just sit here all day or what.

Have an appointment with counselor much later. She is going to
introduce me to a new counselor that I will be seeing because she is
leaving.

Ho hum.

"Gelly" <Gelly.D@gmail.com> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
news:70bc2abe-d291-4c13-9e17-9ec8aea10125@z17g2000hsg.googlegroups.com...
> Sitting here drinking coffee.

I did have so much coffe, that i had to lay down, because i felt so bad.

>
> Have the day off from work but haven't been able to motivate so far to
> do anything productive.
>

What do you like to do the most?

> Wonder if I will just sit here all day or what.
>
> Have an appointment with counselor much later. She is going to
> introduce me to a new counselor that I will be seeing because she is
> leaving.
>
> Ho hum.

On Jan 16, 9:58 am, "rainbowguardian" <robert_smrd...@gmx.de> wrote:
> "Gelly" <Gell...@gmail.com> schrieb im Newsbeitragnews:70bc2abe-d291-4c13-9e17-9ec8aea10125@z17g2000hsg.googlegroups.com...
>
> > Sitting here drinking coffee.
>
> I did have so much coffe, that i had to lay down, because i felt so bad.
>
>
>
> > Have the day off from work but haven't been able to motivate so far to
> > do anything productive.
>
> What do you like to do the most?
>
> > Wonder if I will just sit here all day or what.
>
> > Have an appointment with counselor much later. She is going to
> > introduce me to a new counselor that I will be seeing because she is
> > leaving.
>
> > Ho hum.


Uummm, I don't know. Other than finding out I have a winning lottery
ticket...

Let's see. Something really fun that would shake me up like going to
an amusement park and getting on the rides.

Maybe getting dressed up and going to a job I actually care about.

Going and getting a kitten from the local shelter, but I can't do
that.

Hmmm. I am limited on what I can actually do. Nothing I might actually
be able to do seems appealing.

Have a very short TO DO list today, I think I will put these things
off until after my appointment.

If it was nice outside I suppose I could go to the zoo but it is not
nice outside. I tried to go to a museum recently but could not get
interested in walking around a quiet space full of dead objects.

Ho hum.

Hmm. You mentioned in another thread about drinking sometimes when you
can't motiviate, or just to feel something, like being awake. I have
done that sometimes. I have to watch my drinking though for a few
reasons though, alcoholism runs in my family, I am on meds, it just
makes me tired anymore usually, etc. Anyway it is too early in the day
to drink or anything like that.

Hmm. Have a party. I don't know. Somehting fun I guess.

Well, I am typing away at least. That's good. Avoiding alogia at
least.

I think there's more to it than just being bored.

Just like for someone with sz there's more to it than just being lazy
if having trouble motivating.

Or maybe I am just bored, lazy?

Hmm. See, I don't think so. I know how much trouble I have gotten by
avoiding things... it's not laziness, boredom or just a little anxiety
or tiredness.

Have to watch it because it goes deeper. That is the essence of having
negative symptoms of sz.

On the other hand, have to watch being too worried about it. Maybe it
is just boredom and am being too worried.

Oh what the hell. Whatever, I don't know.

At least nothing bad is happening right now and I am thankful for
that. I am not having major anxiety.

There are worse things than being a little bored or even having some
of the neg. symptoms. Much worse things.

I guess I should not be too worried about it.

But,

The thing is I have lived a lot of my life this way,

Empty, staring at the wall, not really living.

Hmm.

I don't know. Whatever.

I just went and bought some corned beef hash, coffee, and cheap
cookies with the last of my food stamps.

Maybe watch some tv. and then go to my appointment.

Ho hum again.

Let's have a party or go to an amusement park or do something really
fun for once.

What do you say?

Blah, blah, blah. I hope all this typing is maybe informative or
interesting for someone out there to read.

Good day.

It is nice reading that you have some ideas what to do, i agree with the
laziness stuff. I don´t think we are beeing lazy, it has to something with
the supernatural side of sz, if there´s something like that, cause it is
hard to believe that it is only a brainchemistry failure. Cause who is
observing the mind if it is not the soul. That is what i realized in some of
the posts when they are mentioning that their mind is going out of order.
How can the brain get out of control and at the same time observe itself and
tell that it went out of control. That is hard for me to understand.

Greetings
Bob

On Jan 16, 12:11 pm, "rainbowguardian" <robert_smrd...@gmx.de> wrote:
> It is nice reading that you have some ideas what to do, i agree with the
> laziness stuff. I don´t think we are beeing lazy, it has to something with
> the supernatural side of sz, if there´s something like that, cause it is
> hard to believe that it is only a brainchemistry failure. Cause who is
> observing the mind if it is not the soul. That is what i realized in some of
> the posts when they are mentioning that their mind is going out of order.
> How can the brain get out of control and at the same time observe itself and
> tell that it went out of control. That is hard for me to understand.
>
> Greetings
> Bob

I'm feeling a little better after lying down for a while and maybe
doing some meditation. Little more like I could be productive if I
wanted to. Supernatural side of sz? Maybe has to do with needing years
of meditation to be OK.

"Gelly" <Gelly...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:b58806f5-579c-416a-98c3-1430142ebc31@m34g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...

....edit...
>I think there's more to it than just being bored.
>
> Just like for someone with sz there's more to it than just being lazy
> if having trouble motivating.
>
> Or maybe I am just bored, lazy?
>
> Hmm. See, I don't think so. I know how much trouble I have gotten by
> avoiding things... it's not laziness, boredom or just a little anxiety
> or tiredness.
>
> Have to watch it because it goes deeper. That is the essence of having
> negative symptoms of sz.
>
>> But,
>
> The thing is I have lived a lot of my life this way,
>
> Empty, staring at the wall, not really living.
>

I can recognise these symptoms, I think this state transcends both
schizophrenia and depression. There are certain words that deny translation
the germans use the word weltschmerz roughly translated as 'world pain'
or by some as 'world weariness'

Even the thought of attempting to do anything becomes in itself, an heavy
weight to bear What's needed I think, to continue the german noemata, is
'Sturm and Drang.

In another post there is reference to the movie magnolia, one of the
characters is a self-help guru whose success at parting people from there
money masks his own inabilities to help himself. to use a phrase from a real
world self help guru to escape this grinding down of the spirit we need to
'take action, massive determined action'

I find solace, like many before me in art and in nature.

hope things turn around for you soon


zerosky

ti like nature too... i used to to the bush with my mother.

I think alcoholism is overtaking me... i seem to be getting more out
of my drinks these days.

Julian

"Gelly" <Gelly.D@gmail.com> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
news:f9e3cfe1-aaaf-4c46-9cfe-cf46f2a897a7@21g2000hsj.googlegroups.com...
On Jan 16, 12:11 pm, "rainbowguardian" <robert_smrd...@gmx.de> wrote:

I'm feeling a little better after lying down for a while and maybe
doing some meditation. Little more like I could be productive if I
wanted to. Supernatural side of sz? Maybe has to do with needing years
of meditation to be OK.



I ment the non-physical side of sz.