manic phase

[PeacePipe]

I've never reached complete mania, just hypo mania. I believe I"m in
a hypomanic state right now, and it's awesome. I love it when this
happens, even with my medication, a few still slip through.

[Michael Alpert]

Nobody can feel good under dopamine blockers.

Dopamine causes the feeling of joy and reward. When dopamine is blocked
there is no joy or reward, even from changing position, so that under
dopamine blockers we writhe in the torment of tardive diskinesia.

[PeacePipe]

On May 5, 6:12*am, alpert...@webtv.net (Michael Alpert) wrote:
> * * * Nobody can feel good under dopamine blockers.
>
> Dopamine causes the feeling of joy and reward. When dopamine is blocked
> there is no joy or reward, even from changing position, so that under
> dopamine blockers we writhe in the torment of tardive diskinesia.

do you have td? what drugs have you been on?

[Michael Alpert]

For the first twenty years I was diagnosed a 100% disabled veteran
for "schizophrenia", I had to do everything they said. I had to apply
for jobs and take dopamine blockers.

There was no Privacy Act back then, and my miserable psychiatric record
got out everywhere. I was refused employment immediately, if I was
honest.

If I lied about my past, I was able to work until they found out about
my past. Then I would be fired. So, I went from job to job working about
two weeks at a time.

Back then, I wanted very much to have permanent employment, but my past
prevented that. I was very industrious, and everything I touched turned
to order.

After the Privacy Act it was too late. My miserable psychiatric record
was out in the private sector. Then, I started to get physically sick.

Another schizophrenic patient, who was on dopamine blockers, and had the
blending of dream with reality, stabbed me through the heart with an ice
pick in my sleep, and finally decided to call for an ambulance an hour
later.

Dopamine blockers caused me, also, to not get the right kind of sleep,
and I was tired all day. Dream and reality blended together so that I
couldn't tell the difference between them. But, I was always a peaceful,
kind person, with a tremendous conscience.

The world record for living without the heart beating is three hours
according to the Guinness Book of Records. Mine was only stopped for an
hour. The only way to die is permanent brain death, "nervous system
disconnect".

My psychiatrist, trying to convince me to take dopamine blockers again,
said that he brought back a catatonic case with dopamine blockers.
Dopamine blockers do what my crowd called "binding the astral light". A
"bound astral light" is preserving but miserable.

We knew a female psychiatric patient, on dopamine blockers, who hung
herself. She was kicking in the air, wide awake, for fifteen minutes
before she was cut down; where as, a normal person would have passed out
in less than five minutes.

In the operation they removed my pericardium. I woke up three days later
not knowing what even happened. I have had much worse days at the
dentist. God was good to me, even though I was an atheist back then.

When the first twenty years was up I had my 100% disability compensation
status grandfathered for life by federal law. I quit dopamine blockers.
Dopamine blockers, being lipophilic, it took a few months for them to
wear off.

Though I have been falsely intimidated into trying new dopamine
blockers, from time to time, I have quit them. I have a little tardive
diskinesia left. I have sublimated the embarrassing facial tardive
diskinesia into squirming, scrunching my toes, and sniffing,
compulsively. It feels miserable, and, I don't want my tardive
diskinesia to get worse.

With a schizophrenic record only other schizophrenic patients and
criminals would associate with me. My first wife was a career criminal,
con woman, and a prostitute. She finally killed herself with an overdose
of imiprimine rather that go back to prison.

My second wife, a four-hundred and ten pound spirit medium, fortune
teller, and criminal, left me for chickening out of changing my
identity. You get ten years in federal prison for every falsified
document. I really wanted to change my identity and work back then.

Beggars can't be choosie, but I never called her fat, and, we never had
an argument. We debated peacefully by Robert's Rules. She had been a
"professional student" with many university degrees.

My physical health got worse. I got heart disease. COPD, and arthritis,
especially bad in the spine. And, I have allergic reactions that have me
"half over the edge", but, I wont take any medication that would blind
me. My sight is very important to me, and it's poor. I don't feel like
working now that I am over sixty-five!

With the way the country is going, like the threat of a "North American
Union", it is possible that I could lose my disability compensation. Law
now forbids employees from refusing people employment for mental
disabilities, but, they find other excuses to refuse you employment.

Anyway, a close cousin has married into a Mafia family from Sicily. I am
sure I could find employment with them, and it would be tax free; but,
it is so scary that I am going to have to be pretty desperate for that.

[Sebu]

I was like that for YEARS, I was never able to reach that manic stage, now i
can reach it,
it´s easier to reach it if you take something that accelerates the central
nervous system,
exercise a lot, go to the shower, go to the cold shower, do things that
feels to hard to do
etc, get some mental pain, suddenly you realize everything is so easy and
euphoric.
I have mania now, almost all the time, it´s hell cause i can´t enjoy it now
at all when i have
a flu and my throat hurts, but all in all a flu is easier to handle with a
bit of mania, it´s
better than being depressed to have mania. I do NOT believe in all kinds of
INTERNET
information about mental health that mania is not safe or healthy. This
same kinds
of false info about mania not being good and that manic people are mentally
ill
happens at mental hospitals. Ive seen lot´s of "manic" people put on downers
just to see that after the mania goes away they get really really deeply
depressed because
of the downers.I believe in mania, ive believed in it my whole lifetime. I
always have believed
in the totally "crazy" moods where you lose yourself totally. Docs
*disagree*



"PeacePipe" <[email protected]> kirjoitti viestissä
news:[email protected]..
> I've never reached complete mania, just hypo mania. I believe I"m in
> a hypomanic state right now, and it's awesome. I love it when this
> happens, even with my medication, a few still slip through.

[Sebu]

Miquel albert is right about the dopamine blockers. I know 1 person who died
because of dopamine blockers (zyprexa), and an other
person who tried to commit suicide because of dopamine blockers. These are
very dangerous meds. I have no suicidal thoughts anymore
when im not taking my dopamine blockers.

[PeacePipe]

On May 9, 8:01*am, "Sebu" <S...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Miquel albert is right about the dopamine blockers. I know 1 person who died
> because of dopamine blockers (zyprexa), and an other
> person who tried to commit suicide because of dopamine blockers. These are
> very dangerous meds. I have no suicidal thoughts anymore
> when im not taking my dopamine blockers.

I agree, my manic phases feel very healthy, I don't experience
anything that gets me in trouble, I don't rack up credit card debt or
go into insane spending spreez or get dilusional. My dilusions
actually subside greatly. I sleep well also.

[Tennessee Tony]

PeacePipe wrote:
> I've never reached complete mania, just hypo mania. I believe I"m in
> a hypomanic state right now, and it's awesome. I love it when this
> happens, even with my medication, a few still slip through.

When I started on Nortriptyline the first week was the best I could
imagine ever feeling. I didn't know how to describe it. I was in some
kind of manic state and damn did I feel great. No wonder so many
bi-polar people go off their meds. Too bad I have never again been in
that state of euphoria again.