Mastering Jealousy

My gf is wanting to be "only friends" now because of my repeated
problems with jealousy. And I have imagined her in worst imaginable
treacheries, true. I've had that unhealthy unrest and fear, that was
worse than mere human jealousy.

We agreed it comes from personal insecurity: I am unsure that she is
attracted to me enough to not want others.

It comes also from desire for possession and control: I don't want to
respect her free will if he chooses other, but I want to keep her by
controlling and manipulative means despite or against what she might
have wanted.

You guessed that this kind of behavior kills true affection and love.

I don't know how to overcome this, since it comes from blood:
reasoning is much, much slower, and it takes time to build up reasons
in her defense. Which prove that it was just a demon, not something
she really felt. Or if she did, it could be just manipulation or
temptation, not real cheating.

You guessed right that I am demanding in regard to fidelity. But this
what was happening to me was stealing my peace and destroying me,
therefore it was not a healthy emotion.

Part of insecurity that caused excess jealousy could be in sexual
performance under meds problem.

I hope I was clear enough.

Marv

Jealousy and paranoia not good. Before you start feeling those things
try to find something to keep your mind occupied.
I lost 2 girlfriends to J & P.

Luke Flyswatter je napisao/la:
> Jealousy and paranoia not good. Before you start feeling those things
> try to find something to keep your mind occupied.
> I lost 2 girlfriends to J & P.

How did you overcome in the mean time?

I've not overcome it. It's something you have to watch out for. Idle
minds are the devils playthings.
Keep busy with something entertaining for you. Reading a good book,
playing a game, hanging out with friends, etc can keep those thoughts
in check. Try not speaking to your loved one about the jealousy/
paranoid thoughts as well.
I had a girlfriend that used to feed in to the idea she was cheating
on me. If your girl is like that, get rid of her. She's poison.

Luke Flyswatter je napisao/la:
> I've not overcome it. It's something you have to watch out for. Idle
> minds are the devils playthings.
> Keep busy with something entertaining for you. Reading a good book,
> playing a game, hanging out with friends, etc can keep those thoughts
> in check. Try not speaking to your loved one about the jealousy/
> paranoid thoughts as well.
> I had a girlfriend that used to feed in to the idea she was cheating
> on me. If your girl is like that, get rid of her. She's poison.

I've had such gf before. But I don't think this one is like that,
because she has character.

But i.e. when I watch porn like right now, I feel insecure and
"burned" that she might be doing this too behind my back. That it is
impossible that a girl "alive" as her would be faithful - at least
faithful to me.

In fact, the girls were frying me from childhood that I was "too good"
and that any girl would cheat me. This association just flipped to
mind ...

Marv

Of course, Jesus, watching porn is a sin, I just slipped.

SINNER! but aren't we all?

Luke Flyswatter je napisao/la:
> SINNER! but aren't we all?

Yeah -- guess so.
Father forgive me, for I have sinned.

Marvin