my dad has dementia

for those that dont know me i live at home with my parents. right now i feel
like exploding. my father is 79 and can no longer remember his age what he
ate various things. he keeps getting mad because we tell him things he
doesnt remember doing, like just havin eaten. my mom and me plan to get him
to the hospital tommorrow to get further evaluated. they gave him a med to
take that is supposed to help but it isnt doing anything so far. my mom
wants to get power of attorney over him so she can take care of the bills
and such so she needs a actual pdoc to have it on record what his condition
is.
most of me feels sorry for my dad but i keep getting mad at him when he
yells and me and tells me i am the crazy one that doesnt remember anything
and that i am lying to him. he can be hurtful at times with his words.
unfortunatly fits of anger are symtoms of dementia. so i know that it really
isnt his fault but i still get angry back. i just left his room and i was
mad when i left. i needed to calm down.
do any of you have any experience with someone with dementia?
i am also scared now that i will go from being schizophrenic to having
dementia:-((( that would beyond suck! i was hoping one day that they would
find some magical cure for this and i would be drug free. now i can see
myself from going from this to that i HATE it. i wonder what my odds are??
anyhow i just needed to calm down again. he said he wished he could talk
to a daughter that made sense. my two sisters arent here and though one
lives far away the other doesnt and she aint here helping. my brother is
here and he frequently gets angry at dad. i try not to. it doesnt really
help and i know it aint his fault.
that is all for now, any advice would be appretiated.
thanks for reading anita

"icy pines" <melting@winteryspring.org> wrote in message
news:_f1Jh.9308$jx3.351@newssvr25.news.prodigy.net ...
> for those that dont know me i live at home with my parents. right now i
feel
> like exploding. my father is 79 and can no longer remember his age what he
> ate various things. he keeps getting mad because we tell him things he
> doesnt remember doing, like just havin eaten. my mom and me plan to get
him
> to the hospital tommorrow to get further evaluated. they gave him a med to
> take that is supposed to help but it isnt doing anything so far. my mom
> wants to get power of attorney over him so she can take care of the bills
> and such so she needs a actual pdoc to have it on record what his
condition
> is.
> most of me feels sorry for my dad but i keep getting mad at him when he
> yells and me and tells me i am the crazy one that doesnt remember anything
> and that i am lying to him. he can be hurtful at times with his words.
> unfortunatly fits of anger are symtoms of dementia. so i know that it
really
> isnt his fault but i still get angry back. i just left his room and i was
> mad when i left. i needed to calm down.
> do any of you have any experience with someone with dementia?
> i am also scared now that i will go from being schizophrenic to having
> dementia:-((( that would beyond suck! i was hoping one day that they would
> find some magical cure for this and i would be drug free. now i can see
> myself from going from this to that i HATE it. i wonder what my odds are??
> anyhow i just needed to calm down again. he said he wished he could
talk
> to a daughter that made sense. my two sisters arent here and though one
> lives far away the other doesnt and she aint here helping. my brother is
> here and he frequently gets angry at dad. i try not to. it doesnt really
> help and i know it aint his fault.
> that is all for now, any advice would be appretiated.
> thanks for reading anita
>
>

my god in heaven,
my dad just apoligized to me! i mean WOW he hasnt done that in at least a
year. maybe the meds are starting to work.
that is all . i mean amazing. he did something nice! quite a turn around.
later all anita

One of my uncles stayed with me when he was dying of cancer. It went
to his brain and he was taking alot of medicine. Things got real hard
to take care of him. The best thing for you is to have one of your
sisters come stay with you guys or another family member to help out.
I wish the best for you guys. It's not easy. Praying helps.

"Erik the Red" <spock_smokes@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1173664233.513157.140540@c51g2000cwc.googlegr oups.com...
> One of my uncles stayed with me when he was dying of cancer. It went
> to his brain and he was taking alot of medicine. Things got real hard
> to take care of him. The best thing for you is to have one of your
> sisters come stay with you guys or another family member to help out.
> I wish the best for you guys. It's not easy. Praying helps.
>

thank you Eric,
we may try to get him into a nursing home for at least awhile. i have read
though that you cant cure dementia and that eventually it will only get
worse. it is a sad state to be in. i wish he would just be himself again,
but that is never going to happen.
thanks again anita

"Erik the Red" <spock_smokes@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1173664233.513157.140540@c51g2000cwc.googlegr oups.com...
> One of my uncles stayed with me when he was dying of cancer. It went
> to his brain and he was taking alot of medicine. Things got real hard
> to take care of him. The best thing for you is to have one of your
> sisters come stay with you guys or another family member to help out.
> I wish the best for you guys. It's not easy. Praying helps.
>

plus i am very sorry that your poor uncle had to go that way. that must
have been awful for you.
plus you are probably right praying might help, though i have never been
very good at it.
have a good evening if possible Eric
anita

"icy pines" <melting@winteryspring.org> wrote in message
news:ut2Jh.14405$bb1.3177@newssvr17.news.prodigy.n et...

> plus i am very sorry that your poor uncle had to go that way. that must
> have been awful for you.
> plus you are probably right praying might help, though i have never been
> very good at it.
> have a good evening if possible Eric
> anita
>
>


Hey Good Memory Is Undoubting Memory
Is Bad to Think Doubting to Yourself
But when you Accuse Another
by puting tests

My old Mate went upto a group a tramps said to one your Ill
he got a black eye lasted two weeks

win2000 to winXP supossed faster
hang on I'll for this window to load wat was I doing
oh well never had that with 2000

dont write on paper test your memory
is another example
I quite often save a note paper an hang it out in mem
when computing

I met many older people in daycentres
usual the rebels have the best songs to sing

the older daycentre they have peoms board and they have board that says what
season it is
u kno 78 for your pup is a lot
an a man as well not like women u kno

cant help
stay away from Continuous Flood Gob tv
psycho quacks and their False Diags
you can get health check by medics dont have to be psycho

I'm not lookin to fight over anything by going back on your say
Quite Alright without a reply thanks

I was have a chk up a qiz was mem
how is your mem
err well I forget sometimes but always comes back gaurenteed
she writes bad memory

see with computers we can always easy search back Forward
where would we be without nowadays you can always find out by lodging at the
local hospitable

Classic Maybe Dont we all
Maybe you do but I dont Dr say

Crossing Awake an Sleep
everyone will stumble on voices' of dreamland
is a lie to deny
Katie
My Classic Horror Dream is someone standing talking to me an hour before I
wake
Not that horid really like a deep of night one
anyway all is plessant ever since securing doors an such like tings

This Time in 1998 I was doing a 3 month Admitance
by 24th released arh the start of my year

Roids Double Rimm Spoke in Eye

On Mon, 12 Mar 2007 00:36:10 GMT, "icy pines"
<melting@winteryspring.org> wrote:

>for those that dont know me i live at home with my parents. right now i feel
>like exploding. my father is 79 and can no longer remember his age what he
>ate various things. he keeps getting mad because we tell him things he
>doesnt remember doing, like just havin eaten. my mom and me plan to get him
>to the hospital tommorrow to get further evaluated. they gave him a med to
>take that is supposed to help but it isnt doing anything so far. my mom
>wants to get power of attorney over him so she can take care of the bills
>and such so she needs a actual pdoc to have it on record what his condition
>is.
> most of me feels sorry for my dad but i keep getting mad at him when he
>yells and me and tells me i am the crazy one that doesnt remember anything
>and that i am lying to him. he can be hurtful at times with his words.
>unfortunatly fits of anger are symtoms of dementia. so i know that it really
>isnt his fault but i still get angry back. i just left his room and i was
>mad when i left. i needed to calm down.
> do any of you have any experience with someone with dementia?
> i am also scared now that i will go from being schizophrenic to having
>dementia:-((( that would beyond suck! i was hoping one day that they would
>find some magical cure for this and i would be drug free. now i can see
>myself from going from this to that i HATE it. i wonder what my odds are??
> anyhow i just needed to calm down again. he said he wished he could talk
>to a daughter that made sense. my two sisters arent here and though one
>lives far away the other doesnt and she aint here helping. my brother is
>here and he frequently gets angry at dad. i try not to. it doesnt really
>help and i know it aint his fault.
> that is all for now, any advice would be appretiated.
> thanks for reading anita
>



I lived throught the same thing recently. I just put my father ina
home a few days ago at the age of only 67. He just totally lost it
because he never took care of his blood/sugar levels and it blew his
mind in a way. It was VERY hard living with him and when we parted
ways, he really went downhill. I tried for two and a half years to
help him, but it never worked and he never respected me or cared that
I was wasting my own life trying to help him because he thought he was
perfectly fine. when things finally fell apartn and he moved, he went
all to hell and now is in a home, which is best for him.
So, thats that...
Chris

"Coconut" <pegboy_30@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:slvav2hqhru9bu1sqrh53c6krgb9ktf8f4@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 12 Mar 2007 00:36:10 GMT, "icy pines"
> <melting@winteryspring.org> wrote:
>
> >for those that dont know me i live at home with my parents. right now i
feel
> >like exploding. my father is 79 and can no longer remember his age what
he
> >ate various things. he keeps getting mad because we tell him things he
> >doesnt remember doing, like just havin eaten. my mom and me plan to get
him
> >to the hospital tommorrow to get further evaluated. they gave him a med
to
> >take that is supposed to help but it isnt doing anything so far. my mom
> >wants to get power of attorney over him so she can take care of the
bills
> >and such so she needs a actual pdoc to have it on record what his
condition
> >is.
> > most of me feels sorry for my dad but i keep getting mad at him when
he
> >yells and me and tells me i am the crazy one that doesnt remember
anything
> >and that i am lying to him. he can be hurtful at times with his words.
> >unfortunatly fits of anger are symtoms of dementia. so i know that it
really
> >isnt his fault but i still get angry back. i just left his room and i was
> >mad when i left. i needed to calm down.
> > do any of you have any experience with someone with dementia?
> > i am also scared now that i will go from being schizophrenic to
having
> >dementia:-((( that would beyond suck! i was hoping one day that they
would
> >find some magical cure for this and i would be drug free. now i can see
> >myself from going from this to that i HATE it. i wonder what my odds
are??
> > anyhow i just needed to calm down again. he said he wished he could
talk
> >to a daughter that made sense. my two sisters arent here and though one
> >lives far away the other doesnt and she aint here helping. my brother is
> >here and he frequently gets angry at dad. i try not to. it doesnt really
> >help and i know it aint his fault.
> > that is all for now, any advice would be appretiated.
> > thanks for reading anita
> >
>
>
>
> I lived throught the same thing recently. I just put my father ina
> home a few days ago at the age of only 67. He just totally lost it
> because he never took care of his blood/sugar levels and it blew his
> mind in a way. It was VERY hard living with him and when we parted
> ways, he really went downhill. I tried for two and a half years to
> help him, but it never worked and he never respected me or cared that
> I was wasting my own life trying to help him because he thought he was
> perfectly fine. when things finally fell apartn and he moved, he went
> all to hell and now is in a home, which is best for him.
> So, thats that...
> Chris

thank you Chris for sharing your story,
my dad is the same way. he says he is fine and we are the ones that are nuts
and cant remember anything.
i just keep feeling cruel for wanting him in a home, part of me thinks if
he stays home he will get better, which logically i know isnt true. i
probably just need to detach myself somewhat from the sitiuation. it is
difficult.
thanks again anita

"icy pines" <melting@winteryspring.org> wrote in message
news:SqfJh.114$rj1.104@newssvr23.news.prodigy.net. ..
>
> "Coconut" <pegboy_30@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:slvav2hqhru9bu1sqrh53c6krgb9ktf8f4@4ax.com...
>> On Mon, 12 Mar 2007 00:36:10 GMT, "icy pines"
>> <melting@winteryspring.org> wrote:
>>
>> >for those that dont know me i live at home with my parents. right now i
> feel
>> >like exploding. my father is 79 and can no longer remember his age what
> he
>> >ate various things. he keeps getting mad because we tell him things he
>> >doesnt remember doing, like just havin eaten. my mom and me plan to get
> him
>> >to the hospital tommorrow to get further evaluated. they gave him a med
> to
>> >take that is supposed to help but it isnt doing anything so far. my mom
>> >wants to get power of attorney over him so she can take care of the
> bills
>> >and such so she needs a actual pdoc to have it on record what his
> condition
>> >is.
>> > most of me feels sorry for my dad but i keep getting mad at him when
> he
>> >yells and me and tells me i am the crazy one that doesnt remember
> anything
>> >and that i am lying to him. he can be hurtful at times with his words.
>> >unfortunatly fits of anger are symtoms of dementia. so i know that it
> really
>> >isnt his fault but i still get angry back. i just left his room and i
>> >was
>> >mad when i left. i needed to calm down.
>> > do any of you have any experience with someone with dementia?
>> > i am also scared now that i will go from being schizophrenic to
> having
>> >dementia:-((( that would beyond suck! i was hoping one day that they
> would
>> >find some magical cure for this and i would be drug free. now i can see
>> >myself from going from this to that i HATE it. i wonder what my odds
> are??
>> > anyhow i just needed to calm down again. he said he wished he could
> talk
>> >to a daughter that made sense. my two sisters arent here and though one
>> >lives far away the other doesnt and she aint here helping. my brother is
>> >here and he frequently gets angry at dad. i try not to. it doesnt
>> >really
>> >help and i know it aint his fault.
>> > that is all for now, any advice would be appretiated.
>> > thanks for reading anita
>> >
>>
>>
>>
>> I lived throught the same thing recently. I just put my father ina
>> home a few days ago at the age of only 67. He just totally lost it
>> because he never took care of his blood/sugar levels and it blew his
>> mind in a way. It was VERY hard living with him and when we parted
>> ways, he really went downhill. I tried for two and a half years to
>> help him, but it never worked and he never respected me or cared that
>> I was wasting my own life trying to help him because he thought he was
>> perfectly fine. when things finally fell apartn and he moved, he went
>> all to hell and now is in a home, which is best for him.
>> So, thats that...
>> Chris
>
> thank you Chris for sharing your story,
> my dad is the same way. he says he is fine and we are the ones that are
> nuts
> and cant remember anything.
> i just keep feeling cruel for wanting him in a home, part of me thinks
> if
> he stays home he will get better, which logically i know isnt true. i
> probably just need to detach myself somewhat from the sitiuation. it is
> difficult.
> thanks again anita
>
>

one of the hardest things to handle in life, is love, or at least the
removel of a loved one,

i hope you make a decision soon, and what ever it is, that it turns out to
be the right one for you and your father, what ever decision you make.

On Mon, 12 Mar 2007 12:42:28 -0500, "icy pines"
<melting@winteryspring.org> wrote:
>>
>>
>> I lived throught the same thing recently. I just put my father ina
>> home a few days ago at the age of only 67. He just totally lost it
>> because he never took care of his blood/sugar levels and it blew his
>> mind in a way. It was VERY hard living with him and when we parted
>> ways, he really went downhill. I tried for two and a half years to
>> help him, but it never worked and he never respected me or cared that
>> I was wasting my own life trying to help him because he thought he was
>> perfectly fine. when things finally fell apartn and he moved, he went
>> all to hell and now is in a home, which is best for him.
>> So, thats that...
>> Chris
>
> thank you Chris for sharing your story,
>my dad is the same way. he says he is fine and we are the ones that are nuts
>and cant remember anything.
> i just keep feeling cruel for wanting him in a home, part of me thinks if
>he stays home he will get better, which logically i know isnt true. i
>probably just need to detach myself somewhat from the sitiuation. it is
>difficult.
> thanks again anita
>


Yes, same thing, he thinks everyone else is crazy and that we are all
out to get him and are doing evil things behind his back.
Its *normal* to feel cruel for this, I think. at least thats what I've
read before. I've detached myself for the most part and am letting
things run their course.

Best to you,
Chris

Hi Chris

Is the home very expensive? I might have to do that in the future but
wonder if it's affordable. Right now my parent is doing ok and working.

How did you find a home that you could afford?

thanks in advance
penguin

"RoidsRim" <matt.lan@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:8a-dnRdvC41NfWnYnZ2dnUVZ8taknZ2d@bt.com...
>
> "icy pines" <melting@winteryspring.org> wrote in message
> news:ut2Jh.14405$bb1.3177@newssvr17.news.prodigy.n et...
>

<Cut Him Terry>

Watch The News This Summer France
Remember Last year

Fryied Parents Summer Heatwave who Left the Oven On

Kids Neglecting the Parents
Too Busy Game/Gay Boy spose
Of Which Predecessors Made for Them

Stonge Age
I Think I'll Put Some My emotion in my next game
Fallin Love with a One Inch Thick Piece of Glass on the Front of a Tube
Screen
Y/Wes We Like Tuff glass Scratches Nicely

Roids RegKey: RK-8KG4-8GS4-3EPD

On Mon, 12 Mar 2007 15:19:33 -0700, kola5z@webtv.net (Penguin A)
wrote:

>
>Hi Chris
>
>Is the home very expensive? I might have to do that in the future but
>wonder if it's affordable. Right now my parent is doing ok and working.
>
>How did you find a home that you could afford?
>
>thanks in advance
>penguin



Hi Penguin,
My father has Medicare and AARP (American Association of Retired
Persons I think is the proper name) insurance, plus a small pension.
All three combined will pay for it. If there are any additional costs,
I think the state (Pennsylvania) will pick it up, but I'm not sure
about that.
When my grandmother went to a home, they took every dime she and my
grandfather ever saved and her home. It was really sad. I'm very
bitter towards these places, but I do understand that they can't
provide services for free.

Its awful to put someone in one of these places, but sometimes there
is no choice - suck as it may, to be blunt.. A person gets wracked
with guilt and what-not and I dealt with a lot of 'what-if' scenarios
too... For me, the best way to look at it was from a safety
standpoint. My father is unsafe to himself at home and god forbid he
lit his place on fire (My friend found burnt money on his stove) and a
firefighter got hurt or killed. My father also drove and his driving
was lacking big time as he can't see or function that well behind the
wheel.
As for my poor grandmother, she wandered around town and also had a
knack for causing small fires in her stove. I was pretty much TOLD by
the Police that she should be 'taken care of'.

I lived and took care of my father for 2.5 years and grandmother for
two years. At least in my own mind I can say I tried and was there
for them..

Chris

Hi Chris

You're right, sometimes there is no other choice. My mother has
medicare and AARP too. Right now she is ok but I worry about the
future.

penguin

"Penguin A" <kola5z@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:8703-45F5D1F5-282@storefull-3177.bay.webtv.net...
>
> Hi Chris
>
> Is the home very expensive? I might have to do that in the future but
> wonder if it's affordable. Right now my parent is doing ok and working.
>
> How did you find a home that you could afford?
>
> thanks in advance
> penguin
>

hi penguin,
we cant really afford it outright, it runs 8,000$ a month if you are trying
to pay for it, ouch!
medicare and his insurance from where he worked at Cummins pays for it
but only for a couple of months a year. this is going to be a huge problem
for my mother. if his was on medicaid they would pay for it but they would
require taking his assests when he passed on as repayement . this wont work
becuase my mother needs a place to live. so unfortunatly they will only be
able to take him for a couple of months this year. it is horrible trying to
take care of him most of the time. when you have dementia you tend to get
violent at times. he screams bloody murder sometimes. i wished there was
something else we could do but i dont think there is:-((((((((((
hope some of this was helpful to you Penguin, anita

Thanks Pines. It does sound really expensive. My mother has a house
but right now she has a reverse mortgage which has to be paid back to
the bank if something happens to her. So there will probably be no
money left if she ever needs to be in a home. Thank goodness she is
doing ok right now.

I'm sorry to hear that your father is having so many problems.

penguin