Psychosis & Schizophrenia

Last year I had a psychotic breakdown and it was not the first time I came
to the attention of a psychiatrist. I had been diagnosed with schizophrenia
in 2004 this was 2 years before I had my psychotic breakdown. I wonder
though if I do have schizophrenia becuase I have only had 1 psychotic
breakdown and recovered and my thoughts are quite normal and even were for
most of the time before I was on medication except when I became stressed
about relationships. I believe what I had was brief reactive psychosis.

It may be that I had the potential to have a psychotic breakdown for a long
time as there have been quite a few times in my life where I`ve had
infatuations and this has lead to love obsessions and this led to a form of
mental stress I guess. My internal thoughts during these times were similar
to the thought process which eventually lead to me having a psychotic
breakdown ie it starts with me thinking a lot and hearing my own thoughts.

Before I became psychotic I knew that these thoughts were mine but I must
stress that I had a lot of hearing my own thoughts going over and over in my
mind and listening to them - I would just lie on my bed and daydream and
listen to the thoughts. I am on Risperidone now and I hope that next time I
suffer from mental stress as a result of "falling in love" I won't have so
many thoughts going round in my head.

It has to be said that no-one I have ever had an infatuation with or "fallen
in love" with has ever returned my affection they are usually near strangers
that I get a fixation on. Does it sound like I have schizophrenia even
though I am able to cope with life quite well I think and my thoughts are
normal most of the time. I do suffer from a lack of motivation to work but I
don't know if this is becuase I`m lazy or its a symptom of schizophrenia.

On Aug 24, 9:50 am, "Nick Le Lievre"
<nicklelie...@jerseymail.co.uk.invalid> wrote:
> Last year I had a psychotic breakdown and it was not the first time I came
> to the attention of a psychiatrist. I had been diagnosed with schizophrenia
> in 2004 this was 2 years before I had my psychotic breakdown. I wonder
> though if I do have schizophrenia becuase I have only had 1 psychotic
> breakdown and recovered and my thoughts are quite normal and even were for
> most of the time before I was on medication except when I became stressed
> about relationships. I believe what I had was brief reactive psychosis.
>
> It may be that I had the potential to have a psychotic breakdown for a long
> time as there have been quite a few times in my life where I`ve had
> infatuations and this has lead to love obsessions and this led to a form of
> mental stress I guess. My internal thoughts during these times were similar
> to the thought process which eventually lead to me having a psychotic
> breakdown ie it starts with me thinking a lot and hearing my own thoughts.
>
> Before I became psychotic I knew that these thoughts were mine but I must
> stress that I had a lot of hearing my own thoughts going over and over in my
> mind and listening to them - I would just lie on my bed and daydream and
> listen to the thoughts. I am on Risperidone now and I hope that next time I
> suffer from mental stress as a result of "falling in love" I won't have so
> many thoughts going round in my head.
>
> It has to be said that no-one I have ever had an infatuation with or "fallen
> in love" with has ever returned my affection they are usually near strangers
> that I get a fixation on. Does it sound like I have schizophrenia even
> though I am able to cope with life quite well I think and my thoughts are
> normal most of the time. I do suffer from a lack of motivation to work but I
> don't know if this is becuase I`m lazy or its a symptom of schizophrenia.

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.s...9e3dddf8f910f7

It might not be schizophrenia. Antipsychotics work for alot of
illnesses though.

"roky" <rokybird@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1187986318.716400.59040@r23g2000prd.googlegro ups.com...
>
> http://groups.google.com/group/alt.s...9e3dddf8f910f7
>

Thanks for that but I didn't understand how it can cure. I have only
expierienced the symptoms of schizophrenia briefly when I had the psychotic
breakdown I mentioned... it only lasted through a day & night + some weeks
to recover after the confusion that's why I think it was brief reactive
psychosis. At all other times in my life I have not been in the
schizophrenic state. I believe schizophrenia is defined when someone is in a
state of psychosis that's certainly when I had a voice talking to me in my
head - it was more intense then listening to my own thoughts as I could
easily distract myself from doing that and they weren't very intrusive or
powerfull.

The voice I had in my head when psychotic demanded all of my attention and
when I stopped listening to it briefly, I could hear it continuing muffled
in the background. I`m not sure if I actually have schizophrenia as most of
the time I don't have any problems that I know of except maybe the fact the
in the past I have listened to my own thoughts and this has influenced my
behaviour and the likes of which I expierienced prior to the psychotic
breakdown when it went just a stage further.

"Erik the Red" <spock_smokes@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1187988234.823168.44870@q3g2000prf.googlegrou ps.com...
> It might not be schizophrenia. Antipsychotics work for alot of
> illnesses though.
>

Yeah I reckon the times when I would lie down and start listening to my
thoughts was a sign of the potential psychotic breakdown. Whether
"listening" to your thoughts when you sort of know they're your own is a
symptom of schizophrenia I don't know. Listening to my thoughts wasn't that
intrusive I listened to them becuase I wanted too I could do something else
to distract myself if I wanted - it was just good thinking about the person
I was "in love" with - thinking about it obsessively took many hours of my
time but I enjoyed it. Then one time I became psychotic becuase of it... it
all stemmed from mental stress.

If it's not broken, don't fix it.

"Nick Le Lievre" <nicklelievre@jerseymail.co.uk.invalid> wrote in
news:46cf4735$0$1348$834e42db@reader.greatnowhere. com:

> "Erik the Red" <spock_smokes@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:1187988234.823168.44870@q3g2000prf.googlegrou ps.com...
>> It might not be schizophrenia. Antipsychotics work for alot of
>> illnesses though.
>>
>
> Yeah I reckon the times when I would lie down and start listening to
> my thoughts was a sign of the potential psychotic breakdown. Whether
> "listening" to your thoughts when you sort of know they're your own is
> a symptom of schizophrenia I don't know. Listening to my thoughts
> wasn't that intrusive I listened to them becuase I wanted too I could
> do something else to distract myself if I wanted - it was just good
> thinking about the person I was "in love" with - thinking about it
> obsessively took many hours of my time but I enjoyed it. Then one time
> I became psychotic becuase of it... it all stemmed from mental stress.
>
>

Hi Nick

Sorry to butt in but just saw your posts and just wanted to say Hi !!!

Have been meaning to e-mail you but lost your e-mail address.

If you want please reply to me so I can get back to speaking with you via
the e-mail.

Hope all is well with you and my wonderful place Jersey !!

Regards

Jan
Adelaide
Australia

On Aug 24, 1:45 pm, "Nick Le Lievre"
<nicklelie...@jerseymail.co.uk.invalid> wrote:
> "roky" <rokyb...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>
> news:1187986318.716400.59040@r23g2000prd.googlegro ups.com...
>
>
>
> >http://groups.google.com/group/alt.s...a/browse_threa...
>
> Thanks for that but I didn't understand how it can cure. I have only
> expierienced the symptoms of schizophrenia briefly when I had the psychotic
> breakdown I mentioned... it only lasted through a day & night + some weeks
> to recover after the confusion that's why I think it was brief reactive
> psychosis. At all other times in my life I have not been in the
> schizophrenic state. I believe schizophrenia is defined when someone is in a
> state of psychosis that's certainly when I had a voice talking to me in my
> head - it was more intense then listening to my own thoughts as I could
> easily distract myself from doing that and they weren't very intrusive or
> powerfull.
>
> The voice I had in my head when psychotic demanded all of my attention and
> when I stopped listening to it briefly, I could hear it continuing muffled
> in the background. I`m not sure if I actually have schizophrenia as most of
> the time I don't have any problems that I know of except maybe the fact the
> in the past I have listened to my own thoughts and this has influenced my
> behaviour and the likes of which I expierienced prior to the psychotic
> breakdown when it went just a stage further.
SZ can only be diagnosed by intuition.
my theory being that symptoms ,paranoia,hallucinations,delusions,
voices are not the actual disease SZ. The SZ is a separation of
consciousness and that can be cured through intuitive self observation
of ones actions which you and everyone is doing to separate themselves
in each moment. So you can raise your consciousness if you want to. Or
you can remain where you are.
The books appear to be possessed of a cosmic energy which renders them
unreadable to most people.
Roky

"JanAust" <jan.volkmer@removethis.gmail.com> wrote in message
news:13cv7bog7rnc6a1@corp.supernews.com...
>
> Hi Nick
>
> Sorry to butt in but just saw your posts and just wanted to say Hi !!!
>
> Have been meaning to e-mail you but lost your e-mail address.
>
> If you want please reply to me so I can get back to speaking with you via
> the e-mail.
>
> Hope all is well with you and my wonderful place Jersey !!
>

Hi Jan all is well... those seroquel 100mg tablets my pdoc gave me to take
at bedtime to combat the bad dream expieriences I was getting upon getting
to sleep/waking up seem to be working to some degree as I`ve had a pretty
good nights sleep now for the last few months bar the occasional hiccup. As
I say in this thread I don't actually have many problems if I do have
schizophrenia then the postive symptoms don't affect me as badly as some
people but maybe I do suffer from the negative symptoms but then I could
just be naturally lazy & non ambitious I guess. As I say the only time I`ve
been really ill is when I had the psychotic breakdown last year... I know I
was ill then. Before that I had just listened to my own thoughts but knew
they were my own thoughts although had a slight suspiscion that I was
telepathic at times but I wasn't totally convinced that the thoughts weren't
my own.

I think I had been near the very edge between psychosis and reality on a
number of occasions but only 1 time so far did I actually become psychotic
and expierience the schizophrenic symptoms and lose all rationality. I don't
know if it means I`m schizophrenic becuase I`ve been on the edge without
being totally psychotic a few times or I`m just a normal person who had 1
total schizophrenic/psychotic breakdown. I don't feel that different on meds
but then you wouldn't would you - all I can say is I`ve not been ill again
since on the meds but I was not ill for a long time without the meds - apart
from being on the edge of psychosis and reality during particular stressfull
periods of my life.

"Nick Le Lievre" <nicklelievre@jerseymail.co.uk.invalid> wrote in
news:46d00f2f$0$1340$834e42db@reader.greatnowhere. com:

> "JanAust" <jan.volkmer@removethis.gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:13cv7bog7rnc6a1@corp.supernews.com...
>>
>> Hi Nick
>>
>> Sorry to butt in but just saw your posts and just wanted to say Hi
>> !!!
>>
>> Have been meaning to e-mail you but lost your e-mail address.
>>
>> If you want please reply to me so I can get back to speaking with you
>> via the e-mail.
>>
>> Hope all is well with you and my wonderful place Jersey !!
>>
>
> Hi Jan all is well... those seroquel 100mg tablets my pdoc gave me to
> take at bedtime to combat the bad dream expieriences I was getting
> upon getting to sleep/waking up seem to be working to some degree as
> I`ve had a pretty good nights sleep now for the last few months bar
> the occasional hiccup. As I say in this thread I don't actually have
> many problems if I do have schizophrenia then the postive symptoms
> don't affect me as badly as some people but maybe I do suffer from the
> negative symptoms but then I could just be naturally lazy & non
> ambitious I guess. As I say the only time I`ve been really ill is when
> I had the psychotic breakdown last year... I know I was ill then.
> Before that I had just listened to my own thoughts but knew they were
> my own thoughts although had a slight suspiscion that I was telepathic
> at times but I wasn't totally convinced that the thoughts weren't my
> own.
>
> I think I had been near the very edge between psychosis and reality on
> a number of occasions but only 1 time so far did I actually become
> psychotic and expierience the schizophrenic symptoms and lose all
> rationality. I don't know if it means I`m schizophrenic becuase I`ve
> been on the edge without being totally psychotic a few times or I`m
> just a normal person who had 1 total schizophrenic/psychotic
> breakdown. I don't feel that different on meds but then you wouldn't
> would you - all I can say is I`ve not been ill again since on the meds
> but I was not ill for a long time without the meds - apart from being
> on the edge of psychosis and reality during particular stressfull
> periods of my life.
>
>

Hi Nick

That was a surprise (good one though) having rgot a reply so quickly. I
think I can work out yur e-mail address so will write you shortly.

We have had a few dramas here (what's new in my life) but will go into
that in an e-mail. Worst being my son with the severe OCD, God to me
it's much harder to deal with than Schizophrenia (which as you know my
eldest son Chris has). It just gets so frustrating as there are really
no meds apart from antidepressents but that's nothing and it's terible to
see your son going downhill, however I will always support him whatever.
At least with family support guess that's a good start as they tend to
just cut off from the rest of the world.

As for Chris (with Schizophrenia) I can't remember when he last had a
psychotic episiode, would have to be many years back now, but he takes
his Largactil strictly to the hour just about (very old fashioned meds
but he won't change to anything else and I respect that) otherwise he is
fine. Leads a very quiet life at home with us.

I think the last time he was getting pretty upset was a few years back
when he was living with a girl with same illness and she wanted children
and he has always been adament that he would never risk bringing a child
into the world with the risk of developing this illness. Needless to say,
she stopped taking her meds and ended up in hospital and that was the end
of that and he has been on his own since then. It was a shame because I
really liked her despite her illness so it was also very very sad. I
think the stress was just too much for him.

Anyway have to go, bet your weather is just perfect at the moment. We
are in Winter here and although we complain we certainly prefer it to
summer when it gets up and over 40 degrees C.

Also hope your Mum is well and coping okay.

Take care,

Regards

Jan
Adelaide
Australia


PS

You can reply if you want, as you know I just like talking to you from my
very special Jersey island !!!! (where I wish I had stayed and not gone
back to London), anyway too late now.


Also ignore the typing errors but am rushing (as usual) as I have things
to do.

"Nick Le Lievre" <nicklelievre@jerseymail.co.uk.invalid> wrote in message
news:46d00f2f$0$1340$834e42db@reader.greatnowhere. com...
>
> I think I had been near the very edge between psychosis and reality on a
> number of occasions but only 1 time so far did I actually become psychotic
> and expierience the schizophrenic symptoms and lose all rationality. I
> don't know if it means I`m schizophrenic becuase I`ve been on the edge
> without being totally psychotic a few times or I`m just a normal person
> who had 1 total schizophrenic/psychotic breakdown. I don't feel that
> different on meds but then you wouldn't would you - all I can say is I`ve
> not been ill again since on the meds but I was not ill for a long time
> without the meds - apart from being on the edge of psychosis and reality
> during particular stressfull periods of my life.

When I say I was on the edge between psychosis and reality it sounds quite
serious but even when I wasn't lying down on my bed listening to my thoughts
that just popped into my head I was able to function fine... there were no
signs of any psychotic symptoms apparent to the outside world. I could
behave totally normal and the thoughts popping into my head and me listening
to them didn't destroy my life... it influenced my thoughts on certain
subjects namely the latest women I was obsessed with but I could put it to
one side out of my mind and get on with life when I had too. Only when I
became totally psychotic that one time did it seriously affect my
functioning but then the true psychosis didn't last very long (just one
intense voice talking to me for about an hour) but it took me a few weeks to
get over the expierience.