Security vs. Insecurity

With security, comes confidence.

Security is built upon trust. Formed from trust of myself and trust of
others.

When I'm INSECURE I lack trust. I feel like I may be hurt if I take a
risk. Part of me wants so badly to take a risk, to overcome, to laugh,
to love, to experience. Another part sometimes screams out to me, to
not bother, to not open up, and not experience.

Eventually the pain of insecurity and loneliness becomes worse than the
pain of opening up.

I have a friend I'll call L. She called me yesterday, and I remember
being so surprised to hear from her. The last time I heard from her was
on xmas day. In a way the fact that she took so long to call, was good
for me. She tells me to never forget that we are "friends for life."
To me that's something hard to fathom still. I want that so much,
because she has been so supportive of me. I am a good and loyal friend
to her too, but past experience has taught me or misguided me into
believing that people will hurt me, or things will be confused.

My fears are irrational to some extent. I do have some loyal good
friends, including some other than L. I get what I give for the most
part. I never want to go back to the days after the hospital, when I
was so lonely. I remember throwing a rubber baseball and a foam ball
against the ceiling at night until I fell asleep, because I was so
lonely I would cry otherwise.

My biggest fear these days is hurting people that are precious to me
with my insecurity. Today I've been crying thinking about this stuff,
but I'm also happy. At times my feelings don't make a lot of sense, or
perhaps they do. Tonight I may learn why.

I think I'll read about overcoming insecurity online.

Do you have any advice or comments?


George

On Feb 18, 2:35 pm, George Peter Staplin
<georgepsSPAMME...@xmission.com> wrote:
> With security, comes confidence.
>
> Security is built upon trust. Formed from trust of myself and trust of
> others.
>
> When I'm INSECURE I lack trust. I feel like I may be hurt if I take a
> risk. Part of me wants so badly to take a risk, to overcome, to laugh,
> to love, to experience. Another part sometimes screams out to me, to
> not bother, to not open up, and not experience.
>
> Eventually the pain of insecurity and loneliness becomes worse than the
> pain of opening up.
>
> I have a friend I'll call L. She called me yesterday, and I remember
> being so surprised to hear from her. The last time I heard from her was
> on xmas day. In a way the fact that she took so long to call, was good
> for me. She tells me to never forget that we are "friends for life."
> To me that's something hard to fathom still. I want that so much,
> because she has been so supportive of me. I am a good and loyal friend
> to her too, but past experience has taught me or misguided me into
> believing that people will hurt me, or things will be confused.
>
> My fears are irrational to some extent. I do have some loyal good
> friends, including some other than L. I get what I give for the most
> part. I never want to go back to the days after the hospital, when I
> was so lonely. I remember throwing a rubber baseball and a foam ball
> against the ceiling at night until I fell asleep, because I was so
> lonely I would cry otherwise.
>
> My biggest fear these days is hurting people that are precious to me
> with my insecurity. Today I've been crying thinking about this stuff,
> but I'm also happy. At times my feelings don't make a lot of sense, or
> perhaps they do. Tonight I may learn why.
>
> I think I'll read about overcoming insecurity online.
>
> Do you have any advice or comments?
>
> George


George, I think you need to replace the bad experiences with good
ones. That does involve taking risks.

There is part of your brain that learned something bad and won't
forget it. I am the same way.

I can't remember how it goes right now, but there is some expression
that goes something like "one insult overpowers 100 compliments" or is
remembered longer or something, it may come back to me later.

It is a learned response, all the insecurity. I know because I have it
too. I should take my own advice here.

I think you are aware enough to know when to stop if it's tangling
other people up somehow.

ARA

A VA psychiatrist, Dr. Westmoreland, said, in October of 2006,
"Feel free to say anything you want, relax, take it easy, and let it all
out. Everything is absolutely confidential, except, if you are a danger
to yourself or others." That is security.
She lied! Her testamony is being used against me. Nothing
criminal. I never got arrested in my life. And, a Dr. Alamini, Dr.
Kaplan, and Dr. Mitchner are helping to use this betrayed
confidentiality. That is insecurity.
Therefore, I have filed a complaint against, her first, with the
Board of the Registry of Medicine. But I can't get to first base! Why?
The Boston VA wont give me their first names and the nit picking Mass
Souls of the Massachusetts Board of the Registry of Medicine wont do
anything without a first name. That is exasperation!


http://community.webtv.net/mpereira/TheSecretsofthe

"George Peter Staplin" <> wrote in message
news:fpcq6d$7vv$1@news.xmission.com...
> With security, comes confidence.
>
> Security is built upon trust. Formed from trust of myself and trust of
> others.
>
> When I'm INSECURE I lack trust. I feel like I may be hurt if I take a
> risk. Part of me wants so badly to take a risk, to overcome, to laugh,
> to love, to experience. Another part sometimes screams out to me, to
> not bother, to not open up, and not experience.
>
> Eventually the pain of insecurity and loneliness becomes worse than the
> pain of opening up.
>
> I have a friend I'll call L. She called me yesterday, and I remember
> being so surprised to hear from her. The last time I heard from her was
> on xmas day. In a way the fact that she took so long to call, was good
> for me. She tells me to never forget that we are "friends for life."
> To me that's something hard to fathom still. I want that so much,
> because she has been so supportive of me. I am a good and loyal friend
> to her too, but past experience has taught me or misguided me into
> believing that people will hurt me, or things will be confused.
>
> My fears are irrational to some extent. I do have some loyal good
> friends, including some other than L. I get what I give for the most
> part. I never want to go back to the days after the hospital, when I
> was so lonely. I remember throwing a rubber baseball and a foam ball
> against the ceiling at night until I fell asleep, because I was so
> lonely I would cry otherwise.
>
> My biggest fear these days is hurting people that are precious to me
> with my insecurity. Today I've been crying thinking about this stuff,
> but I'm also happy. At times my feelings don't make a lot of sense, or
> perhaps they do. Tonight I may learn why.
>
> I think I'll read about overcoming insecurity online.
>
> Do you have any advice or comments?
>
>
> George


The horns of a dilemma, embrace life and all its pain or reject life and
lead a solitary existence. choose one and you will be impaled on the other.

It's Hobson's choice really, the problems though are manifold and I find
myself in constant retreat, though as yet not entirely defeated.

hope you find a way through


zerosky

Sorry to hear that your confidentiality was betrayed.

I too have no crimes to hide, but I have always been careful about what I
say to these p-docs.

It is a tricky thing to be open about what they need to know to use their
prescription pad, but guarded enough to preserve ones civil rights.

If you get involved in any kind of civil action, an opposing lawyer can get
a subpeana for your p-doc's written records. The p-doc may or may not
comply.

I don't have actual experience with Medical Boards, but my bet would be that
these are doctors only interested in protecting other doctors from
accountability.

If a doctor has a problem, the first thing they do is blame the patient.
For example, there was that woman in the news a few years ago that went to
an emergency room. When they stuck a needle in her a gas was released,
which caused the ER personell to get sick. The doctor involved went to the
press and told them that he believed the woman had been drinking
insecticide. The woman had never done any such thing. It was a completely
false allegation made up by the doctor.

Medical doctors routinely violate their oath of hipocracy for their own
personal benefit. Younger doctors may still have a conscience.

Good luck. Watch your ass.

It seemed that things were improving in the 21st Century.
These psychiatrists were sluttie little girls who were so much like
the prostitutes I used to associate with that I felt at ease. I relaxed
(I didn't try anything with them). I was guaranteed that unless I was a
danger to myself or others everything else had to remain confidential.
But it's the same old Massachusetts! And, the saying going around
is that, "Massoulanity is the haunting outraged suspicion that someone,
somewhere, may be relaxed".


http://community.webtv.net/mpereira/TheSecretsofthe

"Michael A. Pereira" <mpereira@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:19870-47C09782-794@storefull-3134.bay.webtv.net...
> It seemed that things were improving in the 21st Century.
> These psychiatrists were sluttie little girls who were so much like
> the prostitutes I used to associate with that I felt at ease. I relaxed
> (I didn't try anything with them). I was guaranteed that unless I was a
> danger to myself or others everything else had to remain confidential.
> But it's the same old Massachusetts! And, the saying going around
> is that, "Massoulanity is the haunting outraged suspicion that someone,
> somewhere, may be relaxed".
>
>
> http://community.webtv.net/mpereira/TheSecretsofthe
>

It does make me wonder what they failed to keep private.

Sorry.

Mass-Soul-chusetts is a group spirit. The Greek word for group
spirit is "demon". Mass-Soul-chusetts can be killed by splitting it into
two new states.
We have recommended in Alchemy61 to split it so that east of the
Connecticut River will be called Eastwick. Boston will be its capitol.
It's state flag will be the green dragon, from the Green Dragon Tavern,
where American Liberty was born. on a yellow background, just like the
snake who says "Don't Tread On Me" is on a yellow background.
West of the Connecticut River will be the new state of Berwick.
Its capitol will be Springfield. Its state flag will be the simplified
Berwick plaid, a cross of a red verticle bar crossing a blue horizontal
bar, blending purple where they cross, on a purple background.
Here, the seeds for the ultimante destruction of Mass-Hole-chusetts are
planted. I moved up from New Orleans, Louisiana, with my parents, when I
was thirteen, spent a miserable puberty in this tyranical state that
denied nature. Of course I couldn't measure up to their attempt to
hammer me into a mold so I was tagged "schizophrenic", locked up, and
tortured.
Fornication and masturbation were felonies in Twentieth Century
Mass-Hole-chusetts. The state of Mass-Hole-chusetts bargained with the
parents of kids suspected of masturbation to drop formal felony charges
in exchange for the submission of those kids for medical research and
experimentation.
I hated Christianity for this mixture of church and state, and I
got arrested for blasphemy. I absconded out of the state before the
trial, and Maine would never allow Mass-Hole-chusetts to extradite me
back for trial. I never went back.
But, my cousin had similar trouble, but finally went back to live
with his favorite cousin. Now, Mass-Hole-chusetts has discovered that
he's back, long after the statutes of limitation have run out (they were
never able to arrest him) and they are using a private KGB called Ethos
Inc. to get him. He is broke and desperate. You may hear about what may
happen on the news.

"Miguel Alberto" <gellie618@webtv.net> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
news:8407-47C943F2-509@storefull-3133.bay.webtv.net...
> Mass-Soul-chusetts is a group spirit. The Greek word for group
> spirit is "demon". Mass-Soul-chusetts can be killed by splitting it into
> two new states.

What problem do you have with group spirits? But demon doesn´t mean group
spirit and has nothing to do with democracy like you once sugested.

> We have recommended in Alchemy61 to split it so that east of the
> Connecticut River will be called Eastwick. Boston will be its capitol.
> It's state flag will be the green dragon, from the Green Dragon Tavern,
> where American Liberty was born. on a yellow background, just like the
> snake who says "Don't Tread On Me" is on a yellow background.
> West of the Connecticut River will be the new state of Berwick.
> Its capitol will be Springfield. Its state flag will be the simplified
> Berwick plaid, a cross of a red verticle bar crossing a blue horizontal
> bar, blending purple where they cross, on a purple background.
> Here, the seeds for the ultimante destruction of Mass-Hole-chusetts are
> planted. I moved up from New Orleans, Louisiana, with my parents, when I
> was thirteen, spent a miserable puberty in this tyranical state that
> denied nature. Of course I couldn't measure up to their attempt to
> hammer me into a mold so I was tagged "schizophrenic", locked up, and
> tortured.
> Fornication and masturbation were felonies in Twentieth Century
> Mass-Hole-chusetts. The state of Mass-Hole-chusetts bargained with the
> parents of kids suspected of masturbation to drop formal felony charges
> in exchange for the submission of those kids for medical research and
> experimentation.
> I hated Christianity for this mixture of church and state, and I
> got arrested for blasphemy. I absconded out of the state before the
> trial, and Maine would never allow Mass-Hole-chusetts to extradite me
> back for trial. I never went back.
> But, my cousin had similar trouble, but finally went back to live
> with his favorite cousin. Now, Mass-Hole-chusetts has discovered that
> he's back, long after the statutes of limitation have run out (they were
> never able to arrest him) and they are using a private KGB called Ethos
> Inc. to get him. He is broke and desperate. You may hear about what may
> happen on the news.
>

Hmm. I didn't know blasphemy was a crime in MA. That sucks.

Unfortunately, when you leave a state, the statute of limitations stops
counting time. That is, the years spent out-of-state do not count.

One is best off not going back into the state that is charging one.

Ya, but THEY don't know you're out of state. But, THEY prosecuted
the Greens for bringing their son, Chad, to Mexico, where Chad was given
laetrile treatments for his cancer. It was not only out of the cursed
state, it was out of the country.
But, here we have laws being enforced on the world. Noriega, the
past President of Panama is in federal prison here for breaking our
federal laws in Panama.
First Mass-Soul- chusetts, then the world.

"Miguel Alberto" <gellie618@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:5304-47CA9241-15@storefull-3135.bay.webtv.net...
> Ya, but THEY don't know you're out of state. But, THEY prosecuted
> the Greens for bringing their son, Chad, to Mexico, where Chad was given
> laetrile treatments for his cancer. It was not only out of the cursed
> state, it was out of the country.
> But, here we have laws being enforced on the world. Noriega, the
> past President of Panama is in federal prison here for breaking our
> federal laws in Panama.
> First Mass-Soul- chusetts, then the world.
>

I know someone that was cured by Laetrile as a child, or so he claims.