Siblings

I have read in here of scheezers not being invited to family events, and
things like that. While my parents accept me, my brother has become
increasingly distant.

I'm really not sure what I can do about it. Once my parents pass, I suspect
I will, in effect, be alone.

My brother has distanced himself from some others too in his life, but my
information is limited. If I phone him or email him, he seems to be very
careful to exclude anything of a personal nature in our communication.

I think he is ashamed of me.

I think he feels vengeance for childhood sibling rivalries. I remember
these childhood years as good times, but he gets angry, if I talk like that.

I'm feeling a bit alone today, and I'm frustrated that my brother will
probably never help with that.

"Quiet Neighbor" <private@spamless.net> wrote in message
news:R0jFi.6704$JD.2597@newssvr21.news.prodigy.net ...
>I have read in here of scheezers not being invited to family events, and
>things like that. While my parents accept me, my brother has become
>increasingly distant.
>
> I'm really not sure what I can do about it. Once my parents pass, I
> suspect I will, in effect, be alone.
>
> My brother has distanced himself from some others too in his life, but my
> information is limited. If I phone him or email him, he seems to be very
> careful to exclude anything of a personal nature in our communication.
>
> I think he is ashamed of me.
>
> I think he feels vengeance for childhood sibling rivalries. I remember
> these childhood years as good times, but he gets angry, if I talk like
> that.
>
> I'm feeling a bit alone today, and I'm frustrated that my brother will
> probably never help with that.

"Brother," "mother" and other such words are little abracadabras that do far
less genuine heavy lifting than they promise to, just as the word
"abracadabra" does. I don't know how much less alone you'd feel having
personal contact with a guy who seems to care less about you than some
strangers. Having the same bloodline as another adult is largely
meaningless.

My mother used to dismiss the conflicts between me and my brother as sibling
rivalry. I was offended because the root of the problem is that our thought
processes are so different we might as well be of different species. Stock
pop psychology phrases like "sibling rivalry" are just a way to trivialize
and dismiss someone else's self-experience. They're lazy and self-important
and I hate them.

Mike

On Sep 11, 1:27 am, "Mike Kocic" <isot...@mikikocic.com> wrote:
> "Quiet Neighbor" <priv...@spamless.net> wrote in message
>
> news:R0jFi.6704$JD.2597@newssvr21.news.prodigy.net ...
>
>
>
>
>
> >I have read in here of scheezers not being invited to family events, and
> >things like that. While my parents accept me, my brother has become
> >increasingly distant.
>
> > I'm really not sure what I can do about it. Once my parents pass, I
> > suspect I will, in effect, be alone.
>
> > My brother has distanced himself from some others too in his life, but my
> > information is limited. If I phone him or email him, he seems to be very
> > careful to exclude anything of a personal nature in our communication.
>
> > I think he is ashamed of me.
>
> > I think he feels vengeance for childhood sibling rivalries. I remember
> > these childhood years as good times, but he gets angry, if I talk like
> > that.
>
> > I'm feeling a bit alone today, and I'm frustrated that my brother will
> > probably never help with that.
>
> "Brother," "mother" and other such words are little abracadabras that do far
> less genuine heavy lifting than they promise to, just as the word
> "abracadabra" does. I don't know how much less alone you'd feel having
> personal contact with a guy who seems to care less about you than some
> strangers. Having the same bloodline as another adult is largely
> meaningless.
>
> My mother used to dismiss the conflicts between me and my brother as sibling
> rivalry. I was offended because the root of the problem is that our thought
> processes are so different we might as well be of different species. Stock
> pop psychology phrases like "sibling rivalry" are just a way to trivialize
> and dismiss someone else's self-experience. They're lazy and self-important
> and I hate them.
>
> Mike- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Schizophrenia is in my family on both sides so i dont have any
experience of ostracisation. Mind you, I get a strange reaction from
some of my mum's friends when I see them and they are in the know.
Happy 9/11 by the way, The spam in my email inbox has increased since
I joined newsgroups, mostly trying to sell me canadian drugs,
strangely enough.

"Ronan" <ronanquinn@eircom.net> wrote in message
news:1189472828.298594.17150@50g2000hsm.googlegrou ps.com...
> On Sep 11, 1:27 am, "Mike Kocic" <isot...@mikikocic.com> wrote:
>> "Quiet Neighbor" <priv...@spamless.net> wrote in message
>>
>> news:R0jFi.6704$JD.2597@newssvr21.news.prodigy.net ...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> >I have read in here of scheezers not being invited to family events, and
>> >things like that. While my parents accept me, my brother has become
>> >increasingly distant.
>>
>> > I'm really not sure what I can do about it. Once my parents pass, I
>> > suspect I will, in effect, be alone.
>>
>> > My brother has distanced himself from some others too in his life, but
>> > my
>> > information is limited. If I phone him or email him, he seems to be
>> > very
>> > careful to exclude anything of a personal nature in our communication.
>>
>> > I think he is ashamed of me.
>>
>> > I think he feels vengeance for childhood sibling rivalries. I remember
>> > these childhood years as good times, but he gets angry, if I talk like
>> > that.
>>
>> > I'm feeling a bit alone today, and I'm frustrated that my brother will
>> > probably never help with that.
>>
>> "Brother," "mother" and other such words are little abracadabras that do
>> far
>> less genuine heavy lifting than they promise to, just as the word
>> "abracadabra" does. I don't know how much less alone you'd feel having
>> personal contact with a guy who seems to care less about you than some
>> strangers. Having the same bloodline as another adult is largely
>> meaningless.
>>
>> My mother used to dismiss the conflicts between me and my brother as
>> sibling
>> rivalry. I was offended because the root of the problem is that our
>> thought
>> processes are so different we might as well be of different species.
>> Stock
>> pop psychology phrases like "sibling rivalry" are just a way to
>> trivialize
>> and dismiss someone else's self-experience. They're lazy and
>> self-important
>> and I hate them.
>>
>> Mike- Hide quoted text -
>>
>> - Show quoted text -
>
> Schizophrenia is in my family on both sides so i dont have any
> experience of ostracisation. Mind you, I get a strange reaction from
> some of my mum's friends when I see them and they are in the know.
> Happy 9/11 by the way, The spam in my email inbox has increased since
> I joined newsgroups, mostly trying to sell me canadian drugs,
> strangely enough.

I use my real email address here and have received *no* spam at all. Not
surprising, since it's not like anyone beyond the odd equally marginalized
person wants to have anything to do with me anyway.

Mike

Thank you for your input.

I'll count you as one that shares sibling troubles.


"Mike Kocic" <isotope@mikikocic.com> wrote in message
news:13ebo8oq0ecnr43@corp.supernews.com...
>
> "Quiet Neighbor" <private@spamless.net> wrote in message
> news:R0jFi.6704$JD.2597@newssvr21.news.prodigy.net ...
>>I have read in here of scheezers not being invited to family events, and
>>things like that. While my parents accept me, my brother has become
>>increasingly distant.
>>
>> I'm really not sure what I can do about it. Once my parents pass, I
>> suspect I will, in effect, be alone.
>>
>> My brother has distanced himself from some others too in his life, but my
>> information is limited. If I phone him or email him, he seems to be very
>> careful to exclude anything of a personal nature in our communication.
>>
>> I think he is ashamed of me.
>>
>> I think he feels vengeance for childhood sibling rivalries. I remember
>> these childhood years as good times, but he gets angry, if I talk like
>> that.
>>
>> I'm feeling a bit alone today, and I'm frustrated that my brother will
>> probably never help with that.
>
> "Brother," "mother" and other such words are little abracadabras that do
> far less genuine heavy lifting than they promise to, just as the word
> "abracadabra" does. I don't know how much less alone you'd feel having
> personal contact with a guy who seems to care less about you than some
> strangers. Having the same bloodline as another adult is largely
> meaningless.
>
> My mother used to dismiss the conflicts between me and my brother as
> sibling rivalry. I was offended because the root of the problem is that
> our thought processes are so different we might as well be of different
> species. Stock pop psychology phrases like "sibling rivalry" are just a
> way to trivialize and dismiss someone else's self-experience. They're lazy
> and self-important and I hate them.
>
> Mike
>

I'm the first SZ/SZA on either side of the family. While it is usually
linked to heredity, there is also a statistical link to difficult
childbirths. My birth had problems.... It could be genetic, but in my
case, I'd bet it was triggered by brain damage at birth.

None of the extended family knows any labels. Half the family just found
out I'm on disability. It took about 9 years for them to find out.

"Ronan" <ronanquinn@eircom.net> wrote in message
news:1189472828.298594.17150@50g2000hsm.googlegrou ps.com...
> On Sep 11, 1:27 am, "Mike Kocic" <isot...@mikikocic.com> wrote:
>> "Quiet Neighbor" <priv...@spamless.net> wrote in message
>>
>> news:R0jFi.6704$JD.2597@newssvr21.news.prodigy.net ...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> >I have read in here of scheezers not being invited to family events, and
>> >things like that. While my parents accept me, my brother has become
>> >increasingly distant.
>>
>> > I'm really not sure what I can do about it. Once my parents pass, I
>> > suspect I will, in effect, be alone.
>>
>> > My brother has distanced himself from some others too in his life, but
>> > my
>> > information is limited. If I phone him or email him, he seems to be
>> > very
>> > careful to exclude anything of a personal nature in our communication.
>>
>> > I think he is ashamed of me.
>>
>> > I think he feels vengeance for childhood sibling rivalries. I remember
>> > these childhood years as good times, but he gets angry, if I talk like
>> > that.
>>
>> > I'm feeling a bit alone today, and I'm frustrated that my brother will
>> > probably never help with that.
>>
>> "Brother," "mother" and other such words are little abracadabras that do
>> far
>> less genuine heavy lifting than they promise to, just as the word
>> "abracadabra" does. I don't know how much less alone you'd feel having
>> personal contact with a guy who seems to care less about you than some
>> strangers. Having the same bloodline as another adult is largely
>> meaningless.
>>
>> My mother used to dismiss the conflicts between me and my brother as
>> sibling
>> rivalry. I was offended because the root of the problem is that our
>> thought
>> processes are so different we might as well be of different species.
>> Stock
>> pop psychology phrases like "sibling rivalry" are just a way to
>> trivialize
>> and dismiss someone else's self-experience. They're lazy and
>> self-important
>> and I hate them.
>>
>> Mike- Hide quoted text -
>>
>> - Show quoted text -
>
> Schizophrenia is in my family on both sides so i dont have any
> experience of ostracisation. Mind you, I get a strange reaction from
> some of my mum's friends when I see them and they are in the know.
> Happy 9/11 by the way, The spam in my email inbox has increased since
> I joined newsgroups, mostly trying to sell me canadian drugs,
> strangely enough.
>

"Quiet Neighbor" <private@spamless.net> wrote in message
news:k8nFi.3835$7P7.2609@newssvr19.news.prodigy.ne t...
> I'm the first SZ/SZA on either side of the family. While it is usually
> linked to heredity, there is also a statistical link to difficult
> childbirths. My birth had problems.... It could be genetic, but in my
> case, I'd bet it was triggered by brain damage at birth.

That's helpful, QN, because I was not only a breach birth but my head got
stuck and they forcepped it out. Early on my skull was egg shaped
face-to-back, as was my brother's. Our heads are now normal.

I was also struck by a car at age 10 and suffered a broken blood vessel in
my temple that required emergency surgery three days later. But an EKG found
no electromechanical abnormalities.

Mike

>
> None of the extended family knows any labels. Half the family just found
> out I'm on disability. It took about 9 years for them to find out.
>
> "Ronan" <ronanquinn@eircom.net> wrote in message
> news:1189472828.298594.17150@50g2000hsm.googlegrou ps.com...
>> On Sep 11, 1:27 am, "Mike Kocic" <isot...@mikikocic.com> wrote:
>>> "Quiet Neighbor" <priv...@spamless.net> wrote in message
>>>
>>> news:R0jFi.6704$JD.2597@newssvr21.news.prodigy.net ...
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> >I have read in here of scheezers not being invited to family events,
>>> >and
>>> >things like that. While my parents accept me, my brother has become
>>> >increasingly distant.
>>>
>>> > I'm really not sure what I can do about it. Once my parents pass, I
>>> > suspect I will, in effect, be alone.
>>>
>>> > My brother has distanced himself from some others too in his life, but
>>> > my
>>> > information is limited. If I phone him or email him, he seems to be
>>> > very
>>> > careful to exclude anything of a personal nature in our communication.
>>>
>>> > I think he is ashamed of me.
>>>
>>> > I think he feels vengeance for childhood sibling rivalries. I
>>> > remember
>>> > these childhood years as good times, but he gets angry, if I talk like
>>> > that.
>>>
>>> > I'm feeling a bit alone today, and I'm frustrated that my brother will
>>> > probably never help with that.
>>>
>>> "Brother," "mother" and other such words are little abracadabras that do
>>> far
>>> less genuine heavy lifting than they promise to, just as the word
>>> "abracadabra" does. I don't know how much less alone you'd feel having
>>> personal contact with a guy who seems to care less about you than some
>>> strangers. Having the same bloodline as another adult is largely
>>> meaningless.
>>>
>>> My mother used to dismiss the conflicts between me and my brother as
>>> sibling
>>> rivalry. I was offended because the root of the problem is that our
>>> thought
>>> processes are so different we might as well be of different species.
>>> Stock
>>> pop psychology phrases like "sibling rivalry" are just a way to
>>> trivialize
>>> and dismiss someone else's self-experience. They're lazy and
>>> self-important
>>> and I hate them.
>>>
>>> Mike- Hide quoted text -
>>>
>>> - Show quoted text -
>>
>> Schizophrenia is in my family on both sides so i dont have any
>> experience of ostracisation. Mind you, I get a strange reaction from
>> some of my mum's friends when I see them and they are in the know.
>> Happy 9/11 by the way, The spam in my email inbox has increased since
>> I joined newsgroups, mostly trying to sell me canadian drugs,
>> strangely enough.
>>
>
>

"Mike Kocic" <isotope@mikikocic.com> wrote in message
news:13ebo8oq0ecnr43@corp.supernews.com...
> I don't know how much less alone you'd feel having personal contact with a
> guy who seems to care less about you than some strangers.

I don't have the words to adequately explain the feelings of understanding
that are met with and then drawn on what you have written here.
So when I try to explain something that I am needing to say, I have to slice
into other commonly known understandings which suggest the same feeling, and
hope that whoever is at the other end of this communication starts to
realise something.

There are people who think with their minds and people who think in other
ways, and both are strangers to the other, their ways are not known and
understood to each other.

However, there is a need for a translator of some kind.

It is not appropriate for a thinker of mind to suggest ways forward for
those who think differently. Nor even to comment on their lives.
Those who think differently, *carry* those who think with their minds. And
bear that responsibility as a natural way of living. Their sorrow is
greater, because they carry the pain of others.

Hope this is helpful to all concerned.

best wishes
Judy




Having the same bloodline as another adult is largely
> meaningless.



> My mother used to dismiss the conflicts between me and my brother as
> sibling rivalry. I was offended because the root of the problem is that
> our thought processes are so different we might as well be of different
> species. Stock pop psychology phrases like "sibling rivalry" are just a
> way to trivialize and dismiss someone else's self-experience. They're lazy
> and self-important and I hate them.
>
> Mike
>

QN, some people don't like to get personal about themselves once they
get older. Some see it as letting their guard down. You can't blame
them though. Noone wants to get hurt.

On Sep 11, 7:05 am, Erik the Red <spock_smo...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> QN, some people don't like to get personal about themselves once they
> get older. Some see it as letting their guard down. You can't blame
> them though. Noone wants to get hurt.

I had to be got out of my mother's womb by use of a vacuum.

Cookies and mik.

I had to be coaxed out with cookies and milk. Chocolate milk..

It was a dirty trick and it taught me not to trust people.

I still want to go back.

Ya, I got the forceps, and they say I was "blue" for several days.

"Mike Kocic" <isotope@mikikocic.com> wrote in message
news:13ec38aog2vtdb5@corp.supernews.com...
>
> "Quiet Neighbor" <private@spamless.net> wrote in message
> news:k8nFi.3835$7P7.2609@newssvr19.news.prodigy.ne t...
>> I'm the first SZ/SZA on either side of the family. While it is usually
>> linked to heredity, there is also a statistical link to difficult
>> childbirths. My birth had problems.... It could be genetic, but in my
>> case, I'd bet it was triggered by brain damage at birth.
>
> That's helpful, QN, because I was not only a breach birth but my head got
> stuck and they forcepped it out. Early on my skull was egg shaped
> face-to-back, as was my brother's. Our heads are now normal.
>
> I was also struck by a car at age 10 and suffered a broken blood vessel in
> my temple that required emergency surgery three days later. But an EKG
> found no electromechanical abnormalities.
>
> Mike
>
>>
>> None of the extended family knows any labels. Half the family just found
>> out I'm on disability. It took about 9 years for them to find out.
>>
>> "Ronan" <ronanquinn@eircom.net> wrote in message
>> news:1189472828.298594.17150@50g2000hsm.googlegrou ps.com...
>>> On Sep 11, 1:27 am, "Mike Kocic" <isot...@mikikocic.com> wrote:
>>>> "Quiet Neighbor" <priv...@spamless.net> wrote in message
>>>>
>>>> news:R0jFi.6704$JD.2597@newssvr21.news.prodigy.net ...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> >I have read in here of scheezers not being invited to family events,
>>>> >and
>>>> >things like that. While my parents accept me, my brother has become
>>>> >increasingly distant.
>>>>
>>>> > I'm really not sure what I can do about it. Once my parents pass, I
>>>> > suspect I will, in effect, be alone.
>>>>
>>>> > My brother has distanced himself from some others too in his life,
>>>> > but my
>>>> > information is limited. If I phone him or email him, he seems to be
>>>> > very
>>>> > careful to exclude anything of a personal nature in our
>>>> > communication.
>>>>
>>>> > I think he is ashamed of me.
>>>>
>>>> > I think he feels vengeance for childhood sibling rivalries. I
>>>> > remember
>>>> > these childhood years as good times, but he gets angry, if I talk
>>>> > like
>>>> > that.
>>>>
>>>> > I'm feeling a bit alone today, and I'm frustrated that my brother
>>>> > will
>>>> > probably never help with that.
>>>>
>>>> "Brother," "mother" and other such words are little abracadabras that
>>>> do far
>>>> less genuine heavy lifting than they promise to, just as the word
>>>> "abracadabra" does. I don't know how much less alone you'd feel having
>>>> personal contact with a guy who seems to care less about you than some
>>>> strangers. Having the same bloodline as another adult is largely
>>>> meaningless.
>>>>
>>>> My mother used to dismiss the conflicts between me and my brother as
>>>> sibling
>>>> rivalry. I was offended because the root of the problem is that our
>>>> thought
>>>> processes are so different we might as well be of different species.
>>>> Stock
>>>> pop psychology phrases like "sibling rivalry" are just a way to
>>>> trivialize
>>>> and dismiss someone else's self-experience. They're lazy and
>>>> self-important
>>>> and I hate them.
>>>>
>>>> Mike- Hide quoted text -
>>>>
>>>> - Show quoted text -
>>>
>>> Schizophrenia is in my family on both sides so i dont have any
>>> experience of ostracisation. Mind you, I get a strange reaction from
>>> some of my mum's friends when I see them and they are in the know.
>>> Happy 9/11 by the way, The spam in my email inbox has increased since
>>> I joined newsgroups, mostly trying to sell me canadian drugs,
>>> strangely enough.
>>>
>>
>>
>
>

On 11 sep, 16:33, damod...@webtv.net (Twang - twang) wrote:
> Cookies and mik.
>
> I had to be coaxed out with cookies and milk. Chocolate milk..
>
> It was a dirty trick and it taught me not to trust people.
>
> I still want to go back.

I got the word that my family doctor had to be dragged out of the
pub and came late on my delivery.
Whether that had consequences I don't know.

Berty

I was a forceps delivery, also.

penguin

Normos avoid us, family or not. My cousin Janie hears voices and
acts extravagant, and even though she never got "caught" like us, the
rest of the family avoids both Janie and I.
The only people who will associate with us schizophrenics are
other schizophrenics and criminals. I lived in a cult community where
all the members were either ex-mental patients, ex-cons or both. This
community was the Camp Etna Spiritualist Association in Etna, Maine. My
ex-wife still lives there. She is a spirit medium, of course she hears
voices, and she even hid her horrible psychiatric record from us.
Hell is divided against itself. They don't get along with each
other. Since I became a Christian, these people have been viscious
enemies out for revenge.
These people ripped off my inheritance. The VA guardianship system
failed and let them. What more did they want? They attempted to do me in
as if to deliver me to Satan in Hell. They work for Satan!
Since I can't contain myself about this, the VA is trying to
silence me by trying to lock me up in a locked back ward, probably in
Building 7 in Brocton VA. But, the drug trade in Camp Etna can expect a
sudden raid any time now.


http://community.webtv.net/mpereira/TheSecretsofthe

hi Quiet Neighbour, i'm sorry to hear that your brother seems to be more
aloof than he should be. i have the same experience with my own brother as
well, especially since after he got married with kids and his own family to
take care of. maybe it's not the disease, once people get married and have
their own family they tend to focus more on their own family which does have
its own demands and challenges. In my case i felt it more when i was alone.
But now i have my fiancee and she is with me constantly either physically or
by cell phone, so i don't feel as hurt as i used to. i am beginning to
accept the distant treatment from my brother as just another stage of life
that everyone passes through, whether or not he has the disease. it's how
one becomes independent. in a way, that's good. Hope this helps.
"Quiet Neighbor" <private@spamless.net> wrote in message
news:R0jFi.6704$JD.2597@newssvr21.news.prodigy.net ...
>I have read in here of scheezers not being invited to family events, and
>things like that. While my parents accept me, my brother has become
>increasingly distant.
>
> I'm really not sure what I can do about it. Once my parents pass, I
> suspect I will, in effect, be alone.
>
> My brother has distanced himself from some others too in his life, but my
> information is limited. If I phone him or email him, he seems to be very
> careful to exclude anything of a personal nature in our communication.
>
> I think he is ashamed of me.
>
> I think he feels vengeance for childhood sibling rivalries. I remember
> these childhood years as good times, but he gets angry, if I talk like
> that.
>
> I'm feeling a bit alone today, and I'm frustrated that my brother will
> probably never help with that.
>
>
>