Staying together for the sake of the Kids?

1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in
common.
2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to
not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy
and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way
of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and
anti-depressants, I feel like as one person said on here, like I'm
watching a TV and I'm not part of the drama.
4: I can't take the decision as to if I should return to the UK or
stay for the kids. There is benefit to both choices. Maybe in the UK
I'll get the care I need. Where as here nobody understands me or my
condition.

The bottom line is, I CAN'T MAKE A JUSTIFIED DECISION ONE WAY OR
ANOTHER!

Can I be so bold as have some of you in my position, and make that
decision for me?

Ignore the above if you think it's too intense a request. Maybe you
views would be better.

:Sigh: What to do! What to do!

PS I have a friend at work is in the same position, minus the mental
illness. He stays in Durban, yet his family is in Joburg. He asked me
where he should be. I said you have nothing keeping you here go back
to Joburg.

Yet who am I to be giving advice, when I can't even make a decision on
my own. Maybe my decision is a hard one. Who knows? Who cares? FUCK
IT!

PPS Like Richard Ashcroft said "I'm a million different people from
one day to the next!"

Oh, I can post. Sorry. Yeah, if you're sick go back to the UK.

Fuck it.

It is a difficult position you are in, but on the other hand
quite common, because lots of people make the decision
to break up a relationship. Here in the Netherlands almost
50% of the marriages go under.

But I don't want you to be a statistic, you are a unique person.

The best decision would be to go were you are happy, because
you live this life only once and before you know it you are old
and about to die. And you don't wanna look back on a unhappy life.

I assume you terribly love your children what complicates it.
But what is the best for the children , to have a set of parrents
who don't go through the same door at the same time and maybe
have discussions that are not nice for children to listen to.
What is then the best for the children, maybe leave, your wife
could find another partner where she is happy with, all the better
for the children.

I know SA is a bad place to be for a shizophrenic, been there, and
let my love one behind. She wasn't supportive too and it was a long
long rope I was on.

Now 5 years later I am in the Netherlands and happily married to
a fellow mental patient and I view the SA times as a bad dream
long ago that I don't want to be reminded of.

So as such can things change for you also when you return to the UK.

The decision is tough but sometimes you have to be strong to persuit
your own happiness.

Hope this helps.

Berty

On Jul 21, 1:40*pm, Adamski_Rasputin <adamskiraspu...@yahoo.com>
wrote:
> It is a difficult position you are in, but on the other hand
> quite common, because lots of people make the decision
> to break up a relationship. Here in the Netherlands almost
> 50% of the marriages go under.
>
> But I don't want you to be a statistic, you are a unique person.
>
> The best decision would be to go were you are happy, because
> you live this life only once and before you know it you are old
> and about to die. And you don't wanna look back on a unhappy life.
>
> I assume you terribly love your children what complicates it.
> But what is the best for the children , to have a set of parrents
> who don't go through the same door at the same time and maybe
> have discussions that are not nice for children to listen to.
> What is then the best for the children, maybe leave, your wife
> could find another partner where she is happy with, all the better
> for the children.
>
> I know SA is a bad place to be for a shizophrenic, been there, and
> let my love one behind. She wasn't supportive too and it was a long
> long rope I was on.
>
> Now 5 years later I am in the Netherlands and happily married to
> a fellow mental patient and I view the SA times as a bad dream
> long ago that I don't want to be reminded of.
>
> So as such can things change for you also when you return to the UK.
>
> The decision is tough but sometimes you have to be strong to persuit
> your own happiness.
>
> Hope this helps.
>
> Berty

It helps a lot. Thanks. However...

I have now put in motion. A support group which meets every 3rd
Saturday. However, the husband and wife who run the thing do so
because there son is schizophrenic. So it's a charitable thing. So
they have agreed to come round and talk to us both. Bearing in mind
that these people have been dealing with these situations for over 20
years, this sounds promising.

What the hell, worth a shot don't you think everyone???

On 21 jul, 14:25, ChrisC <chrisp...@googlemail.com> wrote:
> On Jul 21, 1:40*pm, Adamski_Rasputin <adamskiraspu...@yahoo.com>
> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > It is a difficult position you are in, but on the other hand
> > quite common, because lots of people make the decision
> > to break up a relationship. Here in the Netherlands almost
> > 50% of the marriages go under.
>
> > But I don't want you to be a statistic, you are a unique person.
>
> > The best decision would be to go were you are happy, because
> > you live this life only once and before you know it you are old
> > and about to die. And you don't wanna look back on a unhappy life.
>
> > I assume you terribly love your children what complicates it.
> > But what is the best for the children , to have a set of parrents
> > who don't go through the same door at the same time and maybe
> > have discussions that are not nice for children to listen to.
> > What is then the best for the children, maybe leave, your wife
> > could find another partner where she is happy with, all the better
> > for the children.
>
> > I know SA is a bad place to be for a shizophrenic, been there, and
> > let my love one behind. She wasn't supportive too and it was a long
> > long rope I was on.
>
> > Now 5 years later I am in the Netherlands and happily married to
> > a fellow mental patient and I view the SA times as a bad dream
> > long ago that I don't want to be reminded of.
>
> > So as such can things change for you also when you return to the UK.
>
> > The decision is tough but sometimes you have to be strong to persuit
> > your own happiness.
>
> > Hope this helps.
>
> > Berty
>
> It helps a lot. Thanks. However...
>
> I have now put in motion. A support group which meets every 3rd
> Saturday. However, the husband and wife who run the thing do so
> because there son is schizophrenic. So it's a charitable thing. So
> they have agreed to come round and talk to us both. Bearing in mind
> that these people have been dealing with these situations for over 20
> years, this sounds promising.
>
> What the hell, worth a shot don't you think everyone???- Tekst uit oorspronkelijk bericht niet weergeven -
>
> - Tekst uit oorspronkelijk bericht weergeven -

Yeah a good marriage counceling is always prefered
before you leave all ships behind you and it is also
promissing that they have a mental health background.
Maybe they can bridge the gap that is between you two.

Good luck and keep us informed.

Berty

X-No-Archive: yes

On Jul 21, 2:20*am, ChrisC wrote:
> 1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in
> common.
> 2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to
> not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy
> and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
> 3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way
> of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and
>

She's a controlling, nagging WHORE, SLUT, BITCH!!! Get as far away
from her as possible, fuck the kids!

<chessucat hisses>

On Mon, 21 Jul 2008 08:45:59 -0700 (PDT), in alt.support.schizophrenia chessucat
<chessucat@gmail.com> wrote:

>X-No-Archive: yes
>
>On Jul 21, 2:20*am, ChrisC wrote:
>> 1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in
>> common.
>> 2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to
>> not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy
>> and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
>> 3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way
>> of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and
>>
>
>She's a controlling, nagging WHORE, SLUT, BITCH!!! Get as far away
>from her as possible, fuck the kids!
>
><chessucat hisses>


Sounds like you are condoning incest.

Adamski_Rasputin wrote:
> On 21 jul, 14:25, ChrisC <chrisp...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>> On Jul 21, 1:40 pm, Adamski_Rasputin <adamskiraspu...@yahoo.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>> It is a difficult position you are in, but on the other hand
>>> quite common, because lots of people make the decision
>>> to break up a relationship. Here in the Netherlands almost
>>> 50% of the marriages go under.
>>> But I don't want you to be a statistic, you are a unique person.
>>> The best decision would be to go were you are happy, because
>>> you live this life only once and before you know it you are old
>>> and about to die. And you don't wanna look back on a unhappy life.
>>> I assume you terribly love your children what complicates it.
>>> But what is the best for the children , to have a set of parrents
>>> who don't go through the same door at the same time and maybe
>>> have discussions that are not nice for children to listen to.
>>> What is then the best for the children, maybe leave, your wife
>>> could find another partner where she is happy with, all the better
>>> for the children.
>>> I know SA is a bad place to be for a shizophrenic, been there, and
>>> let my love one behind. She wasn't supportive too and it was a long
>>> long rope I was on.
>>> Now 5 years later I am in the Netherlands and happily married to
>>> a fellow mental patient and I view the SA times as a bad dream
>>> long ago that I don't want to be reminded of.
>>> So as such can things change for you also when you return to the UK.
>>> The decision is tough but sometimes you have to be strong to persuit
>>> your own happiness.
>>> Hope this helps.
>>> Berty
>> It helps a lot. Thanks. However...
>>
>> I have now put in motion. A support group which meets every 3rd
>> Saturday. However, the husband and wife who run the thing do so
>> because there son is schizophrenic. So it's a charitable thing. So
>> they have agreed to come round and talk to us both. Bearing in mind
>> that these people have been dealing with these situations for over 20
>> years, this sounds promising.
>>
>> What the hell, worth a shot don't you think everyone???- Tekst uit oorspronkelijk bericht niet weergeven -
>>
>> - Tekst uit oorspronkelijk bericht weergeven -
>
> Yeah a good marriage counceling is always prefered
> before you leave all ships behind you and it is also
> promissing that they have a mental health background.
> Maybe they can bridge the gap that is between you two.
>
> Good luck and keep us informed.
>
> Berty
Often people find they are even more unhappy after divorce. Always,
divorce is highly stressful. Have you talked about lowering
expectations and accepting the situation. Life is not an ideal it is a
struggle. People often leap out of the frying pan into the fire,
maybe the frying pan is a touch more comfortable and enduring.

Treating life as a challenge and struggling onwards can be rewarding,
as, as one looks back on your achievements and what you have overcome,
the satisfaction of having overcome great difficulty is warming and a
source of pride.


If you divorce, you will see it as a failure, before divorcing if that
is the only solution you can come up with, set targets for what you want
to acheive after the post divorce depression. Value the sex you do
have, that form of love is more important than you realise until you
have to do without all together.

ChrisC wrote:
> 1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in
> common.

I doubt that. Perhaps you should develop new reasons to love each
other. Develop a better friendship with her. If you have a good
friendship the relationship will flow from that.

> 2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to
> not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy
> and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.

That's something you can control, in time, with knowledge to a great
extent. It sounds to me as though you need to learn to love yourself
more. See the beauty in yourself as a human being. It's very difficult
to love someone, when you don't love yourself, because part of love is
accepting love.


> 3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way
> of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and
> anti-depressants, I feel like as one person said on here, like I'm
> watching a TV and I'm not part of the drama.

Could the medicines also provide some secondary gain or an excuse to
avoid certain things that you're uncomfortable with? Anxiety and panic
sometimes goes with the Sz.

Children cry to get their way, so long as it works. If a child doesn't
learn to behave and be patient, then the child grows up thinking that
crying will still get them what they want. In much this same way, we
adults can be stuck in this pattern. Our negative behaviors can
seem positive in some way to us, often not consciously though, when
really they alienate us, and encourage people to dislike us.

Use the truth to cut open your unhealed wounds, remove the infection,
and heal the wounds with forgiveness.

> 4: I can't take the decision as to if I should return to the UK or
> stay for the kids. There is benefit to both choices. Maybe in the UK
> I'll get the care I need. Where as here nobody understands me or my
> condition.

If you're the same person I recall, you have a family that loves you,
but for some reason you have difficulty accepting that love.

My impression was that your stack of thoughts, and deep feelings that
were unresolved built up to a dangerous extent, until you had a
breakdown. You're not alone in this regard.

> The bottom line is, I CAN'T MAKE A JUSTIFIED DECISION ONE WAY OR
> ANOTHER!

So, do what is best for you, and your family.

> Can I be so bold as have some of you in my position, and make that
> decision for me?

No!

> Ignore the above if you think it's too intense a request. Maybe you
> views would be better.
>
>:Sigh: What to do! What to do!
>
> PS I have a friend at work is in the same position, minus the mental
> illness. He stays in Durban, yet his family is in Joburg. He asked me
> where he should be. I said you have nothing keeping you here go back
> to Joburg.
>
> Yet who am I to be giving advice, when I can't even make a decision on
> my own. Maybe my decision is a hard one. Who knows? Who cares? FUCK
> IT!
>
> PPS Like Richard Ashcroft said "I'm a million different people from
> one day to the next!"

We are all a combination of the people we are exposed to. The growth of
an invidual is very much dependent on the village. It truly does take a
village to raise a child.

I hope you do what is best for your family and yourself. Ultimately
though the decision is yours.


GPS

fuck the kids!


Sad world.

Shame selfishness is the new standard.

Forgive me if I have forgotten your previous posts. I assume you are
schizophrenic based on our group here.

I've never had a wife. I'm not comfortable with your giving that up just
because you don't have some things in common.

If she is asking you to support her, she does not understand the illness.

Is there any chance she would move with you to the UK along with the
children?

On 21 jul, 18:43, Chris <m...@nowhere.com> wrote:
> fuck the kids!
>
> Sad world.
>
> Shame selfishness is the new standard.

Maybe we are forgetting one thing here, he may have himself
partly to blame for the situation he is in, it may not be all because
of his wife, were there is a fight, there is mostly two to blame.

Berty

On Jul 21, 1:20 am, ChrisC <chrisp...@googlemail.com> wrote:
> 1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in
> common.
> 2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to
> not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy
> and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
> 3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way
> of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and
> anti-depressants, I feel like as one person said on here, like I'm
> watching a TV and I'm not part of the drama.
> 4: I can't take the decision as to if I should return to the UK or
> stay for the kids. There is benefit to both choices. Maybe in the UK
> I'll get the care I need. Where as here nobody understands me or my
> condition.
>
> The bottom line is, I CAN'T MAKE A JUSTIFIED DECISION ONE WAY OR
> ANOTHER!
>
> Can I be so bold as have some of you in my position, and make that
> decision for me?
>
> Ignore the above if you think it's too intense a request. Maybe you
> views would be better.
>
> :Sigh: What to do! What to do!
>
> PS I have a friend at work is in the same position, minus the mental
> illness. He stays in Durban, yet his family is in Joburg. He asked me
> where he should be. I said you have nothing keeping you here go back
> to Joburg.
>
> Yet who am I to be giving advice, when I can't even make a decision on
> my own. Maybe my decision is a hard one. Who knows? Who cares? FUCK
> IT!
>
> PPS Like Richard Ashcroft said "I'm a million different people from
> one day to the next!"

ChrisK,

First, let me say that I think most people here missed your main
question: I believe it was about staying in the States for the kids,
not about your wife and marriage. I think the wife thing is a done
deal from what I know from before, I think.

Anyway, I will tell you something about my experience. My mom was from
the UK. When I was little, my parents had a ROTTEN divorce. I went to
live with my dad as my mom was getting mentally ill and alcoholic and
it scared me. Over the following years, she got worse, and worse, and
eventually died, and I had to see it all.

She had thought about going back to the UK because of the health care,
but she never did it, I'm not sure why.

As her child, in the long run, what I wanted, and the best thing for
my sake, would have been if she had done whatever it took to make her
happy and healthy again, if that did mean going to the UK. There's no
saying it would have made her better though. But my point is, if it
was better for her, I would have wanted that. I would have rather have
had a healthy mom far away, than a very sick mom near and watch all
her illness.

I don't know how hard it would be for you to move. Of course it takes
a lot of money and so on. And there's no telling how you'd settle in
for real once you got there. I truly don't know. You might have big
problems over there, and it might be really easy to be nostalgic for
the place and see it through the rose-colored glasses, you know.

But anyway, yeah, my 2 cents is, do whatever keeps you the healthiest
for their sake, and TELL your kids that's what you did someday so they
understand what you did.

Now you just have to try and figure out what is healthiest for you
really. There are lots of unknowns. I don't know what would make you
healthiest.

2 cents from a child of a sick mom

Alison

On Jul 21, 4:33 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jul 21, 1:20 am, ChrisC <chrisp...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > 1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in
> > common.
> > 2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to
> > not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy
> > and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
> > 3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way
> > of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and
> > anti-depressants, I feel like as one person said on here, like I'm
> > watching a TV and I'm not part of the drama.
> > 4: I can't take the decision as to if I should return to the UK or
> > stay for the kids. There is benefit to both choices. Maybe in the UK
> > I'll get the care I need. Where as here nobody understands me or my
> > condition.
>
> > The bottom line is, I CAN'T MAKE A JUSTIFIED DECISION ONE WAY OR
> > ANOTHER!
>
> > Can I be so bold as have some of you in my position, and make that
> > decision for me?
>
> > Ignore the above if you think it's too intense a request. Maybe you
> > views would be better.
>
> > :Sigh: What to do! What to do!
>
> > PS I have a friend at work is in the same position, minus the mental
> > illness. He stays in Durban, yet his family is in Joburg. He asked me
> > where he should be. I said you have nothing keeping you here go back
> > to Joburg.
>
> > Yet who am I to be giving advice, when I can't even make a decision on
> > my own. Maybe my decision is a hard one. Who knows? Who cares? FUCK
> > IT!
>
> > PPS Like Richard Ashcroft said "I'm a million different people from
> > one day to the next!"
>
> ChrisK,
>
> First, let me say that I think most people here missed your main
> question: I believe it was about staying in the States for the kids,
> not about your wife and marriage. I think the wife thing is a done
> deal from what I know from before, I think.
>
> Anyway, I will tell you something about my experience. My mom was from
> the UK. When I was little, my parents had a ROTTEN divorce. I went to
> live with my dad as my mom was getting mentally ill and alcoholic and
> it scared me. Over the following years, she got worse, and worse, and
> eventually died, and I had to see it all.
>
> She had thought about going back to the UK because of the health care,
> but she never did it, I'm not sure why.
>
> As her child, in the long run, what I wanted, and the best thing for
> my sake, would have been if she had done whatever it took to make her
> happy and healthy again, if that did mean going to the UK. There's no
> saying it would have made her better though. But my point is, if it
> was better for her, I would have wanted that. I would have rather have
> had a healthy mom far away, than a very sick mom near and watch all
> her illness.
>
> I don't know how hard it would be for you to move. Of course it takes
> a lot of money and so on. And there's no telling how you'd settle in
> for real once you got there. I truly don't know. You might have big
> problems over there, and it might be really easy to be nostalgic for
> the place and see it through the rose-colored glasses, you know.
>
> But anyway, yeah, my 2 cents is, do whatever keeps you the healthiest
> for their sake, and TELL your kids that's what you did someday so they
> understand what you did.
>
> Now you just have to try and figure out what is healthiest for you
> really. There are lots of unknowns. I don't know what would make you
> healthiest.
>
> 2 cents from a child of a sick mom
>
> Alison

I resisted saying this next part. This is rough and bitter. I'm uneasy
about whether I should say it. Just remember it's only one person's
opinion from what she saw with her mother. You are a totally different
human being than my mother, and I can't say what's best. She was so
sick with alcoholism besides the mental illness that I had to watch
her flesh and mind rot away before my eyes.

OK:

Shit.

If you will never get better, it might be best not to expose them to a
life of illness and be absent.

That's just one opinion. I don't know how sick you really are, and it
could be the worst thing possible . It's just one thing.

I don't know if I should have said this. Like I said, it is very
bitter and harsh.

I could be totally wrong. Maybe your kids would rather have any dad
around than no dad at all.

Sorry. Tough questions, and I'm probably just adding another one.

I guess the problem is you don't know for sure if you'll get better or
not. I don't know how you act, but you may be fine around your kids,
you may be great for them, I don't know.

If you do decide to be absent, tell them why you did it when they are
old enough to understand, so they don't feel abandoned.

Just another 2 cents, please ignore me and my opinions if I am wrong,
I may have totally offended you, this is so harsh to say and I don't
know you that well, I may have totally crossed the line.

With regret,
Alison

On Jul 21, 5:24 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jul 21, 4:33 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On Jul 21, 1:20 am, ChrisC <chrisp...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>
> > > 1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in
> > > common.
> > > 2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to
> > > not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy
> > > and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
> > > 3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way
> > > of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and
> > > anti-depressants, I feel like as one person said on here, like I'm
> > > watching a TV and I'm not part of the drama.
> > > 4: I can't take the decision as to if I should return to the UK or
> > > stay for the kids. There is benefit to both choices. Maybe in the UK
> > > I'll get the care I need. Where as here nobody understands me or my
> > > condition.
>
> > > The bottom line is, I CAN'T MAKE A JUSTIFIED DECISION ONE WAY OR
> > > ANOTHER!
>
> > > Can I be so bold as have some of you in my position, and make that
> > > decision for me?
>
> > > Ignore the above if you think it's too intense a request. Maybe you
> > > views would be better.
>
> > > :Sigh: What to do! What to do!
>
> > > PS I have a friend at work is in the same position, minus the mental
> > > illness. He stays in Durban, yet his family is in Joburg. He asked me
> > > where he should be. I said you have nothing keeping you here go back
> > > to Joburg.
>
> > > Yet who am I to be giving advice, when I can't even make a decision on
> > > my own. Maybe my decision is a hard one. Who knows? Who cares? FUCK
> > > IT!
>
> > > PPS Like Richard Ashcroft said "I'm a million different people from
> > > one day to the next!"
>
> > ChrisK,
>
> > First, let me say that I think most people here missed your main
> > question: I believe it was about staying in the States for the kids,
> > not about your wife and marriage. I think the wife thing is a done
> > deal from what I know from before, I think.
>
> > Anyway, I will tell you something about my experience. My mom was from
> > the UK. When I was little, my parents had a ROTTEN divorce. I went to
> > live with my dad as my mom was getting mentally ill and alcoholic and
> > it scared me. Over the following years, she got worse, and worse, and
> > eventually died, and I had to see it all.
>
> > She had thought about going back to the UK because of the health care,
> > but she never did it, I'm not sure why.
>
> > As her child, in the long run, what I wanted, and the best thing for
> > my sake, would have been if she had done whatever it took to make her
> > happy and healthy again, if that did mean going to the UK. There's no
> > saying it would have made her better though. But my point is, if it
> > was better for her, I would have wanted that. I would have rather have
> > had a healthy mom far away, than a very sick mom near and watch all
> > her illness.
>
> > I don't know how hard it would be for you to move. Of course it takes
> > a lot of money and so on. And there's no telling how you'd settle in
> > for real once you got there. I truly don't know. You might have big
> > problems over there, and it might be really easy to be nostalgic for
> > the place and see it through the rose-colored glasses, you know.
>
> > But anyway, yeah, my 2 cents is, do whatever keeps you the healthiest
> > for their sake, and TELL your kids that's what you did someday so they
> > understand what you did.
>
> > Now you just have to try and figure out what is healthiest for you
> > really. There are lots of unknowns. I don't know what would make you
> > healthiest.
>
> > 2 cents from a child of a sick mom
>
> > Alison
>
> I resisted saying this next part. This is rough and bitter. I'm uneasy
> about whether I should say it. Just remember it's only one person's
> opinion from what she saw with her mother. You are a totally different
> human being than my mother, and I can't say what's best. She was so
> sick with alcoholism besides the mental illness that I had to watch
> her flesh and mind rot away before my eyes.
>
> OK:
>
> Shit.
>
> If you will never get better, it might be best not to expose them to a
> life of illness and be absent.
>
> That's just one opinion. I don't know how sick you really are, and it
> could be the worst thing possible . It's just one thing.
>
> I don't know if I should have said this. Like I said, it is very
> bitter and harsh.
>
> I could be totally wrong. Maybe your kids would rather have any dad
> around than no dad at all.
>
> Sorry. Tough questions, and I'm probably just adding another one.
>
> I guess the problem is you don't know for sure if you'll get better or
> not. I don't know how you act, but you may be fine around your kids,
> you may be great for them, I don't know.
>
> If you do decide to be absent, tell them why you did it when they are
> old enough to understand, so they don't feel abandoned.
>
> Just another 2 cents, please ignore me and my opinions if I am wrong,
> I may have totally offended you, this is so harsh to say and I don't
> know you that well, I may have totally crossed the line.
>
> With regret,
> Alison

Oh christ I'm sorry I said that. What do I know? Probably having any
parent is better than having no parent. I'm sorry. I do not know what
I am talking about. Please excuse me. I don't know and I'm just
confusing you more. I'm so sorry.

No one can make this decision for you. Things like this, you have to
decide for yourself.

Sorry I threw those bitter seeds into the pot.

Good luck.

Alison

On Jul 21, 5:35 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jul 21, 5:24 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On Jul 21, 4:33 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > On Jul 21, 1:20 am, ChrisC <chrisp...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > 1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in
> > > > common.
> > > > 2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to
> > > > not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy
> > > > and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
> > > > 3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way
> > > > of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and
> > > > anti-depressants, I feel like as one person said on here, like I'm
> > > > watching a TV and I'm not part of the drama.
> > > > 4: I can't take the decision as to if I should return to the UK or
> > > > stay for the kids. There is benefit to both choices. Maybe in the UK
> > > > I'll get the care I need. Where as here nobody understands me or my
> > > > condition.
>
> > > > The bottom line is, I CAN'T MAKE A JUSTIFIED DECISION ONE WAY OR
> > > > ANOTHER!
>
> > > > Can I be so bold as have some of you in my position, and make that
> > > > decision for me?
>
> > > > Ignore the above if you think it's too intense a request. Maybe you
> > > > views would be better.
>
> > > > :Sigh: What to do! What to do!
>
> > > > PS I have a friend at work is in the same position, minus the mental
> > > > illness. He stays in Durban, yet his family is in Joburg. He asked me
> > > > where he should be. I said you have nothing keeping you here go back
> > > > to Joburg.
>
> > > > Yet who am I to be giving advice, when I can't even make a decision on
> > > > my own. Maybe my decision is a hard one. Who knows? Who cares? FUCK
> > > > IT!
>
> > > > PPS Like Richard Ashcroft said "I'm a million different people from
> > > > one day to the next!"
>
> > > ChrisK,
>
> > > First, let me say that I think most people here missed your main
> > > question: I believe it was about staying in the States for the kids,
> > > not about your wife and marriage. I think the wife thing is a done
> > > deal from what I know from before, I think.
>
> > > Anyway, I will tell you something about my experience. My mom was from
> > > the UK. When I was little, my parents had a ROTTEN divorce. I went to
> > > live with my dad as my mom was getting mentally ill and alcoholic and
> > > it scared me. Over the following years, she got worse, and worse, and
> > > eventually died, and I had to see it all.
>
> > > She had thought about going back to the UK because of the health care,
> > > but she never did it, I'm not sure why.
>
> > > As her child, in the long run, what I wanted, and the best thing for
> > > my sake, would have been if she had done whatever it took to make her
> > > happy and healthy again, if that did mean going to the UK. There's no
> > > saying it would have made her better though. But my point is, if it
> > > was better for her, I would have wanted that. I would have rather have
> > > had a healthy mom far away, than a very sick mom near and watch all
> > > her illness.
>
> > > I don't know how hard it would be for you to move. Of course it takes
> > > a lot of money and so on. And there's no telling how you'd settle in
> > > for real once you got there. I truly don't know. You might have big
> > > problems over there, and it might be really easy to be nostalgic for
> > > the place and see it through the rose-colored glasses, you know.
>
> > > But anyway, yeah, my 2 cents is, do whatever keeps you the healthiest
> > > for their sake, and TELL your kids that's what you did someday so they
> > > understand what you did.
>
> > > Now you just have to try and figure out what is healthiest for you
> > > really. There are lots of unknowns. I don't know what would make you
> > > healthiest.
>
> > > 2 cents from a child of a sick mom
>
> > > Alison
>
> > I resisted saying this next part. This is rough and bitter. I'm uneasy
> > about whether I should say it. Just remember it's only one person's
> > opinion from what she saw with her mother. You are a totally different
> > human being than my mother, and I can't say what's best. She was so
> > sick with alcoholism besides the mental illness that I had to watch
> > her flesh and mind rot away before my eyes.
>
> > OK:
>
> > Shit.
>
> > If you will never get better, it might be best not to expose them to a
> > life of illness and be absent.
>
> > That's just one opinion. I don't know how sick you really are, and it
> > could be the worst thing possible . It's just one thing.
>
> > I don't know if I should have said this. Like I said, it is very
> > bitter and harsh.
>
> > I could be totally wrong. Maybe your kids would rather have any dad
> > around than no dad at all.
>
> > Sorry. Tough questions, and I'm probably just adding another one.
>
> > I guess the problem is you don't know for sure if you'll get better or
> > not. I don't know how you act, but you may be fine around your kids,
> > you may be great for them, I don't know.
>
> > If you do decide to be absent, tell them why you did it when they are
> > old enough to understand, so they don't feel abandoned.
>
> > Just another 2 cents, please ignore me and my opinions if I am wrong,
> > I may have totally offended you, this is so harsh to say and I don't
> > know you that well, I may have totally crossed the line.
>
> > With regret,
> > Alison
>
> Oh christ I'm sorry I said that. What do I know? Probably having any
> parent is better than having no parent. I'm sorry. I do not know what
> I am talking about. Please excuse me. I don't know and I'm just
> confusing you more. I'm so sorry.
>
> No one can make this decision for you. Things like this, you have to
> decide for yourself.
>
> Sorry I threw those bitter seeds into the pot.
>
> Good luck.
>
> Alison

I plead insanity. I'm just crazy too. What do I know.

On Jul 21, 5:37 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jul 21, 5:35 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On Jul 21, 5:24 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > On Jul 21, 4:33 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > On Jul 21, 1:20 am, ChrisC <chrisp...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > 1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in
> > > > > common.
> > > > > 2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to
> > > > > not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy
> > > > > and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
> > > > > 3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way
> > > > > of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and
> > > > > anti-depressants, I feel like as one person said on here, like I'm
> > > > > watching a TV and I'm not part of the drama.
> > > > > 4: I can't take the decision as to if I should return to the UK or
> > > > > stay for the kids. There is benefit to both choices. Maybe in the UK
> > > > > I'll get the care I need. Where as here nobody understands me or my
> > > > > condition.
>
> > > > > The bottom line is, I CAN'T MAKE A JUSTIFIED DECISION ONE WAY OR
> > > > > ANOTHER!
>
> > > > > Can I be so bold as have some of you in my position, and make that
> > > > > decision for me?
>
> > > > > Ignore the above if you think it's too intense a request. Maybe you
> > > > > views would be better.
>
> > > > > :Sigh: What to do! What to do!
>
> > > > > PS I have a friend at work is in the same position, minus the mental
> > > > > illness. He stays in Durban, yet his family is in Joburg. He asked me
> > > > > where he should be. I said you have nothing keeping you here go back
> > > > > to Joburg.
>
> > > > > Yet who am I to be giving advice, when I can't even make a decision on
> > > > > my own. Maybe my decision is a hard one. Who knows? Who cares? FUCK
> > > > > IT!
>
> > > > > PPS Like Richard Ashcroft said "I'm a million different people from
> > > > > one day to the next!"
>
> > > > ChrisK,
>
> > > > First, let me say that I think most people here missed your main
> > > > question: I believe it was about staying in the States for the kids,
> > > > not about your wife and marriage. I think the wife thing is a done
> > > > deal from what I know from before, I think.
>
> > > > Anyway, I will tell you something about my experience. My mom was from
> > > > the UK. When I was little, my parents had a ROTTEN divorce. I went to
> > > > live with my dad as my mom was getting mentally ill and alcoholic and
> > > > it scared me. Over the following years, she got worse, and worse, and
> > > > eventually died, and I had to see it all.
>
> > > > She had thought about going back to the UK because of the health care,
> > > > but she never did it, I'm not sure why.
>
> > > > As her child, in the long run, what I wanted, and the best thing for
> > > > my sake, would have been if she had done whatever it took to make her
> > > > happy and healthy again, if that did mean going to the UK. There's no
> > > > saying it would have made her better though. But my point is, if it
> > > > was better for her, I would have wanted that. I would have rather have
> > > > had a healthy mom far away, than a very sick mom near and watch all
> > > > her illness.
>
> > > > I don't know how hard it would be for you to move. Of course it takes
> > > > a lot of money and so on. And there's no telling how you'd settle in
> > > > for real once you got there. I truly don't know. You might have big
> > > > problems over there, and it might be really easy to be nostalgic for
> > > > the place and see it through the rose-colored glasses, you know.
>
> > > > But anyway, yeah, my 2 cents is, do whatever keeps you the healthiest
> > > > for their sake, and TELL your kids that's what you did someday so they
> > > > understand what you did.
>
> > > > Now you just have to try and figure out what is healthiest for you
> > > > really. There are lots of unknowns. I don't know what would make you
> > > > healthiest.
>
> > > > 2 cents from a child of a sick mom
>
> > > > Alison
>
> > > I resisted saying this next part. This is rough and bitter. I'm uneasy
> > > about whether I should say it. Just remember it's only one person's
> > > opinion from what she saw with her mother. You are a totally different
> > > human being than my mother, and I can't say what's best. She was so
> > > sick with alcoholism besides the mental illness that I had to watch
> > > her flesh and mind rot away before my eyes.
>
> > > OK:
>
> > > Shit.
>
> > > If you will never get better, it might be best not to expose them to a
> > > life of illness and be absent.
>
> > > That's just one opinion. I don't know how sick you really are, and it
> > > could be the worst thing possible . It's just one thing.
>
> > > I don't know if I should have said this. Like I said, it is very
> > > bitter and harsh.
>
> > > I could be totally wrong. Maybe your kids would rather have any dad
> > > around than no dad at all.
>
> > > Sorry. Tough questions, and I'm probably just adding another one.
>
> > > I guess the problem is you don't know for sure if you'll get better or
> > > not. I don't know how you act, but you may be fine around your kids,
> > > you may be great for them, I don't know.
>
> > > If you do decide to be absent, tell them why you did it when they are
> > > old enough to understand, so they don't feel abandoned.
>
> > > Just another 2 cents, please ignore me and my opinions if I am wrong,
> > > I may have totally offended you, this is so harsh to say and I don't
> > > know you that well, I may have totally crossed the line.
>
> > > With regret,
> > > Alison
>
> > Oh christ I'm sorry I said that. What do I know? Probably having any
> > parent is better than having no parent. I'm sorry. I do not know what
> > I am talking about. Please excuse me. I don't know and I'm just
> > confusing you more. I'm so sorry.
>
> > No one can make this decision for you. Things like this, you have to
> > decide for yourself.
>
> > Sorry I threw those bitter seeds into the pot.
>
> > Good luck.
>
> > Alison
>
> I plead insanity. I'm just crazy too. What do I know.

Shit. Maybe I missed the point totally. If this is who I think it is,
are you saying your wife and you are back together? Does she live
there again? The title of your post is "staying together for the sake
of the kids" but I thought she was gone?? It sounds like she can't
make up her mind.

Ok, now stepping out of this superglue I got myself into before I get
more stuck.

On Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:46:09 -0700 (PDT), in alt.support.schizophrenia Gelly
<Gelly.D@gmail.com> wrote:

>On Jul 21, 5:37 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> On Jul 21, 5:35 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>> > On Jul 21, 5:24 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> > > On Jul 21, 4:33 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> > > > On Jul 21, 1:20 am, ChrisC <chrisp...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>>
>> > > > > 1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in
>> > > > > common.
>> > > > > 2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to
>> > > > > not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy
>> > > > > and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
>> > > > > 3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way
>> > > > > of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and
>> > > > > anti-depressants, I feel like as one person said on here, like I'm
>> > > > > watching a TV and I'm not part of the drama.
>> > > > > 4: I can't take the decision as to if I should return to the UK or
>> > > > > stay for the kids. There is benefit to both choices. Maybe in the UK
>> > > > > I'll get the care I need. Where as here nobody understands me or my
>> > > > > condition.
>>
>> > > > > The bottom line is, I CAN'T MAKE A JUSTIFIED DECISION ONE WAY OR
>> > > > > ANOTHER!
>>
>> > > > > Can I be so bold as have some of you in my position, and make that
>> > > > > decision for me?
>>
>> > > > > Ignore the above if you think it's too intense a request. Maybe you
>> > > > > views would be better.
>>
>> > > > > :Sigh: What to do! What to do!
>>
>> > > > > PS I have a friend at work is in the same position, minus the mental
>> > > > > illness. He stays in Durban, yet his family is in Joburg. He asked me
>> > > > > where he should be. I said you have nothing keeping you here go back
>> > > > > to Joburg.
>>
>> > > > > Yet who am I to be giving advice, when I can't even make a decision on
>> > > > > my own. Maybe my decision is a hard one. Who knows? Who cares? FUCK
>> > > > > IT!
>>
>> > > > > PPS Like Richard Ashcroft said "I'm a million different people from
>> > > > > one day to the next!"
>>
>> > > > ChrisK,
>>
>> > > > First, let me say that I think most people here missed your main
>> > > > question: I believe it was about staying in the States for the kids,
>> > > > not about your wife and marriage. I think the wife thing is a done
>> > > > deal from what I know from before, I think.
>>
>> > > > Anyway, I will tell you something about my experience. My mom was from
>> > > > the UK. When I was little, my parents had a ROTTEN divorce. I went to
>> > > > live with my dad as my mom was getting mentally ill and alcoholic and
>> > > > it scared me. Over the following years, she got worse, and worse, and
>> > > > eventually died, and I had to see it all.
>>
>> > > > She had thought about going back to the UK because of the health care,
>> > > > but she never did it, I'm not sure why.
>>
>> > > > As her child, in the long run, what I wanted, and the best thing for
>> > > > my sake, would have been if she had done whatever it took to make her
>> > > > happy and healthy again, if that did mean going to the UK. There's no
>> > > > saying it would have made her better though. But my point is, if it
>> > > > was better for her, I would have wanted that. I would have rather have
>> > > > had a healthy mom far away, than a very sick mom near and watch all
>> > > > her illness.
>>
>> > > > I don't know how hard it would be for you to move. Of course it takes
>> > > > a lot of money and so on. And there's no telling how you'd settle in
>> > > > for real once you got there. I truly don't know. You might have big
>> > > > problems over there, and it might be really easy to be nostalgic for
>> > > > the place and see it through the rose-colored glasses, you know.
>>
>> > > > But anyway, yeah, my 2 cents is, do whatever keeps you the healthiest
>> > > > for their sake, and TELL your kids that's what you did someday so they
>> > > > understand what you did.
>>
>> > > > Now you just have to try and figure out what is healthiest for you
>> > > > really. There are lots of unknowns. I don't know what would make you
>> > > > healthiest.
>>
>> > > > 2 cents from a child of a sick mom
>>
>> > > > Alison
>>
>> > > I resisted saying this next part. This is rough and bitter. I'm uneasy
>> > > about whether I should say it. Just remember it's only one person's
>> > > opinion from what she saw with her mother. You are a totally different
>> > > human being than my mother, and I can't say what's best. She was so
>> > > sick with alcoholism besides the mental illness that I had to watch
>> > > her flesh and mind rot away before my eyes.
>>
>> > > OK:
>>
>> > > Shit.
>>
>> > > If you will never get better, it might be best not to expose them to a
>> > > life of illness and be absent.
>>
>> > > That's just one opinion. I don't know how sick you really are, and it
>> > > could be the worst thing possible . It's just one thing.
>>
>> > > I don't know if I should have said this. Like I said, it is very
>> > > bitter and harsh.
>>
>> > > I could be totally wrong. Maybe your kids would rather have any dad
>> > > around than no dad at all.
>>
>> > > Sorry. Tough questions, and I'm probably just adding another one.
>>
>> > > I guess the problem is you don't know for sure if you'll get better or
>> > > not. I don't know how you act, but you may be fine around your kids,
>> > > you may be great for them, I don't know.
>>
>> > > If you do decide to be absent, tell them why you did it when they are
>> > > old enough to understand, so they don't feel abandoned.
>>
>> > > Just another 2 cents, please ignore me and my opinions if I am wrong,
>> > > I may have totally offended you, this is so harsh to say and I don't
>> > > know you that well, I may have totally crossed the line.
>>
>> > > With regret,
>> > > Alison
>>
>> > Oh christ I'm sorry I said that. What do I know? Probably having any
>> > parent is better than having no parent. I'm sorry. I do not know what
>> > I am talking about. Please excuse me. I don't know and I'm just
>> > confusing you more. I'm so sorry.
>>
>> > No one can make this decision for you. Things like this, you have to
>> > decide for yourself.
>>
>> > Sorry I threw those bitter seeds into the pot.
>>
>> > Good luck.
>>
>> > Alison
>>
>> I plead insanity. I'm just crazy too. What do I know.
>
>Shit. Maybe I missed the point totally. If this is who I think it is,
>are you saying your wife and you are back together? Does she live
>there again? The title of your post is "staying together for the sake
>of the kids" but I thought she was gone?? It sounds like she can't
>make up her mind.
>
>Ok, now stepping out of this superglue I got myself into before I get
>more stuck.


The blind are leading the blind.. but actual blind people are evil and deserve
to be blind.

On Jul 21, 5:57 pm, socialsecurity@statepatrolspies wrote:
> On Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:46:09 -0700 (PDT), in alt.support.schizophrenia Gelly
>
>
>
> <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >On Jul 21, 5:37 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >> On Jul 21, 5:35 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >> > On Jul 21, 5:24 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >> > > On Jul 21, 4:33 pm, Gelly <Gell...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >> > > > On Jul 21, 1:20 am, ChrisC <chrisp...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>
> >> > > > > 1: Me and my wife have discovered that we no longer have anything in
> >> > > > > common.
> >> > > > > 2: I can't promise her the support that she wants out of me, due to
> >> > > > > not knowing who I am from one day to the next. For example being happy
> >> > > > > and optimistic one day and pessimistic another day.
> >> > > > > 3: I can't take this mental problem of mine, it really gets in the way
> >> > > > > of everything. Work, relationship. Due to being on ant-psychotics and
> >> > > > > anti-depressants, I feel like as one person said on here, like I'm
> >> > > > > watching a TV and I'm not part of the drama.
> >> > > > > 4: I can't take the decision as to if I should return to the UK or
> >> > > > > stay for the kids. There is benefit to both choices. Maybe in the UK
> >> > > > > I'll get the care I need. Where as here nobody understands me or my
> >> > > > > condition.
>
> >> > > > > The bottom line is, I CAN'T MAKE A JUSTIFIED DECISION ONE WAY OR
> >> > > > > ANOTHER!
>
> >> > > > > Can I be so bold as have some of you in my position, and make that
> >> > > > > decision for me?
>
> >> > > > > Ignore the above if you think it's too intense a request. Maybe you
> >> > > > > views would be better.
>
> >> > > > > :Sigh: What to do! What to do!
>
> >> > > > > PS I have a friend at work is in the same position, minus the mental
> >> > > > > illness. He stays in Durban, yet his family is in Joburg. He asked me
> >> > > > > where he should be. I said you have nothing keeping you here go back
> >> > > > > to Joburg.
>
> >> > > > > Yet who am I to be giving advice, when I can't even make a decision on
> >> > > > > my own. Maybe my decision is a hard one. Who knows? Who cares? FUCK
> >> > > > > IT!
>
> >> > > > > PPS Like Richard Ashcroft said "I'm a million different people from
> >> > > > > one day to the next!"
>
> >> > > > ChrisK,
>
> >> > > > First, let me say that I think most people here missed your main
> >> > > > question: I believe it was about staying in the States for the kids,
> >> > > > not about your wife and marriage. I think the wife thing is a done
> >> > > > deal from what I know from before, I think.
>
> >> > > > Anyway, I will tell you something about my experience. My mom was from
> >> > > > the UK. When I was little, my parents had a ROTTEN divorce. I went to
> >> > > > live with my dad as my mom was getting mentally ill and alcoholic and
> >> > > > it scared me. Over the following years, she got worse, and worse, and
> >> > > > eventually died, and I had to see it all.
>
> >> > > > She had thought about going back to the UK because of the health care,
> >> > > > but she never did it, I'm not sure why.
>
> >> > > > As her child, in the long run, what I wanted, and the best thing for
> >> > > > my sake, would have been if she had done whatever it took to make her
> >> > > > happy and healthy again, if that did mean going to the UK. There's no
> >> > > > saying it would have made her better though. But my point is, if it
> >> > > > was better for her, I would have wanted that. I would have rather have
> >> > > > had a healthy mom far away, than a very sick mom near and watch all
> >> > > > her illness.
>
> >> > > > I don't know how hard it would be for you to move. Of course it takes
> >> > > > a lot of money and so on. And there's no telling how you'd settle in
> >> > > > for real once you got there. I truly don't know. You might have big
> >> > > > problems over there, and it might be really easy to be nostalgic for
> >> > > > the place and see it through the rose-colored glasses, you know.
>
> >> > > > But anyway, yeah, my 2 cents is, do whatever keeps you the healthiest
> >> > > > for their sake, and TELL your kids that's what you did someday so they
> >> > > > understand what you did.
>
> >> > > > Now you just have to try and figure out what is healthiest for you
> >> > > > really. There are lots of unknowns. I don't know what would make you
> >> > > > healthiest.
>
> >> > > > 2 cents from a child of a sick mom
>
> >> > > > Alison
>
> >> > > I resisted saying this next part. This is rough and bitter. I'm uneasy
> >> > > about whether I should say it. Just remember it's only one person's
> >> > > opinion from what she saw with her mother. You are a totally different
> >> > > human being than my mother, and I can't say what's best. She was so
> >> > > sick with alcoholism besides the mental illness that I had to watch
> >> > > her flesh and mind rot away before my eyes.
>
> >> > > OK:
>
> >> > > Shit.
>
> >> > > If you will never get better, it might be best not to expose them to a
> >> > > life of illness and be absent.
>
> >> > > That's just one opinion. I don't know how sick you really are, and it
> >> > > could be the worst thing possible . It's just one thing.
>
> >> > > I don't know if I should have said this. Like I said, it is very
> >> > > bitter and harsh.
>
> >> > > I could be totally wrong. Maybe your kids would rather have any dad
> >> > > around than no dad at all.
>
> >> > > Sorry. Tough questions, and I'm probably just adding another one.
>
> >> > > I guess the problem is you don't know for sure if you'll get better or
> >> > > not. I don't know how you act, but you may be fine around your kids,
> >> > > you may be great for them, I don't know.
>
> >> > > If you do decide to be absent, tell them why you did it when they are
> >> > > old enough to understand, so they don't feel abandoned.