Windows quotes

"How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?"
.. Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"

.. Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?"
Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below outside..."

.. "I try to avoid using Microsoft. That's why I use MS-DOS."

.. Tech Support: "How can I help you?"
Customer: "Well, everything is working fine, but there is one program that
is not."
Tech Support: "What program is it?"
Customer: "It's called 'MSDOS Prompt'."
Tech Support: "What's wrong with it?"
Customer: "Well, I click on it, a black screen shows up with NOTHING but a
sign that reads: 'C:\WINDOWS>', and it just sits there and doesn't do
anything. I have to turn off the system to go back to Windows."

.. Customer: "File manager? What's that?"
Tech Support: "How long have you had your computer?"
Customer: "Three years."

.. "I have a 386 Pentium."

.. "My brother has a 486 with a Pentium chip in it."

.. Customer: "The computer told me it had contagious memory. Does it have a
virus?"
Tech Support: "No, that is 'contiguous' memory, as in 'sequential'."
Customer: "That is impossible, it said 'contagious'."
Tech Support: "Type 'mem' and hit the 'enter' key." Customer: "Oh."

.. "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."