3 Years tonight

I don't think I can do better than my 2 year post, so I'm going to be lazy
and repost that, since everything still applies, except for two things:

First, I've changed the numbers to reflect 3 years.

More important, I talk in the post about not smoking even in the middle of
problems with my marriage. I still haven't smoked with problems in the
marriage continuing this last year. In March, my 3 year old son had
pneumonia. My wife, who joined this hyper religious church (some call it a
cult) back in 2000 (hence the beginning of marriage problems when she started
treating me different because I didn't "belong" to her church), had a
psychotic break when he had pneumonia, lost all touch with reality. I ended
up calling 911 twice, once on a Monday morning because she was trying to keep
me from giving him water (had a temp of over 103) and penecillin. The second
time I called 911 was after midnight that same day, and she was completely
gone, thought she was god, telling me that she was pregnant with twins
because god showed her in the bible where it said she was pregnant. This
despite the fact that she had pregnancy tests in the bathroom that all said
negative. Police came, called an ambulance, and that morning I find out they
spirited her away to another city to a mental facility. The state
involuntarily committed her for three weeks to see if medication would help.
It did. They diagnosed it as a psychotic break, due to depression and
borderline anorexia. She came back home, and on the medications, she was once
again the wife I married, the woman I hadn't seen for 6 1/2 years. Apologetic
for the things she did (went off birth control and got pregnant without ever
letting me be part of the decision, then quit her job without ever telling
me, leaving me responsible for all the finances, that kind of stuff). She saw
how wrong it was for her to discount me because of her church. Everything
finally fell into place, until she got a different shrink (court ordered as
conditions of her release she see a shrink every week or two, and she be on
medication, otherwise she could be put back in). The new shrink is part of
her church, said it was all a spiritual attack by satan, and she stopped
taking the meds and went right back to her "new" self, with a few more
delusions... She then snuck out of the house on the 29th of June with my son,
left a note saying she filed for divorce.

So we're in the process of getting a divorce. I'm trying to see if her being
off her meds again, writing in her journal that she still hears voices and
has problems distinguishing "good" voices from "bad" voices, has any effect
on custody, since I"m trying for full custody as long as she won't get back
on her meds (or if she can be put back in the facility since quitting her
meds was a violation of the court's order for her release).

During all of this, I have had no desire to smoke. NONE. Smoking is not only
not an option, it's also not a thought. So if I can do it through this type
of crap, anyone can do it.

Anyway, here's the copy/paste from my post from last year. Everything other
than the marriage and meter are still valid. And here's my almost 3 year
meter, and I am looking forward to Marvin's post soon after mine as he's
right there too.

I quit those damn smokes 2 Years, 11 Months, 4 Weeks, 1 Day, 10 hours, 17
minutes and 38 seconds ago, giving my new baby an additional 3 Months, 3
Weeks, 21 hours and 30 minutes of having a father in this life, by avoiding
the use of 32,802 evil nicotine delivery devices that would have raped me out
of $5,740.49.





Tonight I hit 3 years quit.

Not bad for someone who tried half a dozen times in half assed attempts to
quit over 20 years...

So I'm living proof it can be done, along with all the other quitters in
here.

There is no excuse. I know everyone talks about the nicodemon, but lets face
it, it all comes down to choice. Plain and simple.

For some, it's a choice for life. They want to do something to make their
lives better, and potentiall longer, by removing something that is known to
be harmful.

For others, it's a choice of money. They want to stop spending money on
something that ultimately gives them nothing of value in return.

For me, it was a matter of pride. I finally realized I was sick and tired of
being a slave to several grams of paper and leaves and chemicals. I hated
going to the movies, and half way through wanting to have a smoke, having
that thought always in the mind taking away from the movie experience, then
being one of the people rushing out of the theater to light up once the movie
was done. I hated wondering if now was a good time to grab a smoke during the
lulls at work. I hated sitting in my garage during the winter, since I was at
least in control enough of myself to determine when I built my house I'd
never smoke in it. I hated running out in the evening when I'd rather sit
home and relax, but knowing I needed to get some cigarettes for the morning
so that I would not run out. I hated not being able to smoke at some of the
places I liked, and thus avoiding them so that I would not have to deal with
the discomfort. I hated my friends, all non-smokers, who would come to the
bar and have drinks with me while I smoked, having to put up with my smoking.
I hated not being able to smoke in my car when I had my newborn baby in it. I
hated knowing that I shouldn't smoke, but smoked anyway.

I hated my half assed failed attempts. My own fault, not taking them
seriously, because I knew "I failed before, so I'm probably not going to
succeed this time either."

I hated being a fucking slave to some little piece of shit *thing* that
controlled every aspect of my life. Where I ate, where I drank, what I did,
when I saw movies, every single aspect of my day, both professional and
personal, was controlled by that little inanimate object, telling me when I
could and could not do something to make sure I had everything planned and
scheduled around when I'd smoke.

We try, we fail sometimes. But there's only one thing that keeps us smoking -
ourselves. We can talk about the nicodemon, but nobody that I've ever heard
of died from nicotine withdrawal. And with the gum and the lozenges and the
patches, we have far more resources at our fingertips than previous
generations who also succeeded.

I used to love to post in here, to read other's posts, but I got so
discouraged by all the people who tried and started up again, tried again,
started up again... All of the "Oh, that's OK, maybe you'll do better next
time" posts. Bullshit. It's *NOT* OK. It wasn't OK when I failed, and it sure
as hell isn't OK when anyone else fails. It's a damn shame. Because every
time someone tries and ends up lighting up again, it's just one more victory
for the tobacco industry, one more victory for cigarettes, and one more
person who is admitting that they can't control themselves.

Rough, yes, but true. Us smokers couldn't control ourselves. That's why we
smoked. We lacked the willpower, the bullheadedness, the confidence in
ourselves to simply say "I don't like doing this, so I'm not going to do it
anymore."

This world has become for so many such a world of comfort and quick
satisfaction that as a race we seem to be unable to do things that require
effort anymore, that require dedication and involve discomfort.

But that's what it takes to quit smoking. None of us, when we decided to
quit, ever said "Boy, this'll be a piece of cake!". We all *KNOW* it's not
going to be easy, we all *KNOW* that we're going to have cravings, want that
cigarette, and may damn well end up giving into that need.

But there's not a single fucking reason why we should. When you get down to
it, it's just too damn simple to quit that there's literally no valid excuse
not to quit.

I was at a bar two days after quitting, sitting around having drinks with my
friends. Something that most people tell you not to do, because you avoid
things that trigger that desire to smoke. I was having sex the night I quit,
another trigger. I just kept telling myself that I wasn't a smoker. I was in
charge of my life, and that life no longer involved smoking.

I went through a year of hell in my marriage that really got bad within the
first month of my quitting. I'd get so fed up with my wife that I'd go spend
a week at a hotel a few times a month.

So I went through all the things that would've normally had me smoking like a
chimney. And during them all, not once did it ever occur to me to have a
cigarette. I simply didn't smoke anymore. Period. It wasn't an option.

And I'm one of the laziest people I know. I can bust my ass in a 45 hour long
single day at work, but ultimately that's because I'm lazy and doing that
makes something else easier down the road. I far prefer the comfort to the
effort.

But I quit.

3 years, fucking incredible. All because this time I decided I was fed up
with being a pussy... I was fed up with not being in control of my own
actions, my own day, my own fucking life.

I quit.

And there's not a single smoker who's reading this message that can't do the
same. No excuses, no bullshit, no whining, no complaining. Just fucking make
up your mind that you're going to quit. Not because of health, not because of
money, but simply because you WANT TO.

Don't externalize the reasons. It's noble to quit for your family, for your
baby, etc... But it's also not nearly as effective as quitting for yourself.
No matter how selfless and noble we are, it's still easier to do something
for yourself.

Stop the justifications, the excuses. Just make up your mind to do it. That's
really all it takes. The rest is just patience and determination, no matter
how good or bad it is. Cravings will pass. And they happen whether or not you
smoke. Give in to one, and another is right down the line. So why give in?
They go away. let them go away on their own, not by lighting up.

3 fucking years baby. And I'm DAMNED proud of it. Every one of us here can
be. Every single person in here can quit.

Good luck. Marvin, you still around? You should be coming around the corner
right behind me.

John

--
John

On Jul 10, 11:04 am, "John" <jdth...@deletethis.hotmail.com> wrote:
> I don't think I can do better than my 2 year post, so I'm going to be lazy
> and repost that, since everything still applies, except for two things:
>
> First, I've changed the numbers to reflect 3 years.
>
> More important, I talk in the post about not smoking even in the middle of
> problems with my marriage. I still haven't smoked with problems in the
> marriage continuing this last year. In March, my 3 year old son had
> pneumonia. My wife, who joined this hyper religious church (some call it a
> cult) back in 2000 (hence the beginning of marriage problems when she started
> treating me different because I didn't "belong" to her church), had a
> psychotic break when he had pneumonia, lost all touch with reality. I ended
> up calling 911 twice, once on a Monday morning because she was trying to keep
> me from giving him water (had a temp of over 103) and penecillin. The second
> time I called 911 was after midnight that same day, and she was completely
> gone, thought she was god, telling me that she was pregnant with twins
> because god showed her in the bible where it said she was pregnant. This
> despite the fact that she had pregnancy tests in the bathroom that all said
> negative. Police came, called an ambulance, and that morning I find out they
> spirited her away to another city to a mental facility. The state
> involuntarily committed her for three weeks to see if medication would help.
> It did. They diagnosed it as a psychotic break, due to depression and
> borderline anorexia. She came back home, and on the medications, she was once
> again the wife I married, the woman I hadn't seen for 6 1/2 years. Apologetic
> for the things she did (went off birth control and got pregnant without ever
> letting me be part of the decision, then quit her job without ever telling
> me, leaving me responsible for all the finances, that kind of stuff). She saw
> how wrong it was for her to discount me because of her church. Everything
> finally fell into place, until she got a different shrink (court ordered as
> conditions of her release she see a shrink every week or two, and she be on
> medication, otherwise she could be put back in). The new shrink is part of
> her church, said it was all a spiritual attack by satan, and she stopped
> taking the meds and went right back to her "new" self, with a few more
> delusions... She then snuck out of the house on the 29th of June with my son,
> left a note saying she filed for divorce.
>
> So we're in the process of getting a divorce. I'm trying to see if her being
> off her meds again, writing in her journal that she still hears voices and
> has problems distinguishing "good" voices from "bad" voices, has any effect
> on custody, since I"m trying for full custody as long as she won't get back
> on her meds (or if she can be put back in the facility since quitting her
> meds was a violation of the court's order for her release).
>
> During all of this, I have had no desire to smoke. NONE. Smoking is not only
> not an option, it's also not a thought. So if I can do it through this type
> of crap, anyone can do it.
>
> Anyway, here's the copy/paste from my post from last year. Everything other
> than the marriage and meter are still valid. And here's my almost 3 year
> meter, and I am looking forward to Marvin's post soon after mine as he's
> right there too.
>
> I quit those damn smokes 2 Years, 11 Months, 4 Weeks, 1 Day, 10 hours, 17
> minutes and 38 seconds ago, giving my new baby an additional 3 Months, 3
> Weeks, 21 hours and 30 minutes of having a father in this life, by avoiding
> the use of 32,802 evil nicotine delivery devices that would have raped me out
> of $5,740.49.
>
> Tonight I hit 3 years quit.
>
> Not bad for someone who tried half a dozen times in half assed attempts to
> quit over 20 years...
>
> So I'm living proof it can be done, along with all the other quitters in
> here.
>
> There is no excuse. I know everyone talks about the nicodemon, but lets face
> it, it all comes down to choice. Plain and simple.
>
> For some, it's a choice for life. They want to do something to make their
> lives better, and potentiall longer, by removing something that is known to
> be harmful.
>
> For others, it's a choice of money. They want to stop spending money on
> something that ultimately gives them nothing of value in return.
>
> For me, it was a matter of pride. I finally realized I was sick and tired of
> being a slave to several grams of paper and leaves and chemicals. I hated
> going to the movies, and half way through wanting to have a smoke, having
> that thought always in the mind taking away from the movie experience, then
> being one of the people rushing out of the theater to light up once the movie
> was done. I hated wondering if now was a good time to grab a smoke during the
> lulls at work. I hated sitting in my garage during the winter, since I was at
> least in control enough of myself to determine when I built my house I'd
> never smoke in it. I hated running out in the evening when I'd rather sit
> home and relax, but knowing I needed to get some cigarettes for the morning
> so that I would not run out. I hated not being able to smoke at some of the
> places I liked, and thus avoiding them so that I would not have to deal with
> the discomfort. I hated my friends, all non-smokers, who would come to the
> bar and have drinks with me while I smoked, having to put up with my smoking.
> I hated not being able to smoke in my car when I had my newborn baby in it. I
> hated knowing that I shouldn't smoke, but smoked anyway.
>
> I hated my half assed failed attempts. My own fault, not taking them
> seriously, because I knew "I failed before, so I'm probably not going to
> succeed this time either."
>
> I hated being a fucking slave to some little piece of shit *thing* that
> controlled every aspect of my life. Where I ate, where I drank, what I did,
> when I saw movies, every single aspect of my day, both professional and
> personal, was controlled by that little inanimate object, telling me when I
> could and could not do something to make sure I had everything planned and
> scheduled around when I'd smoke.
>
> We try, we fail sometimes. But there's only one thing that keeps us smoking -
> ourselves. We can talk about the nicodemon, but nobody that I've ever heard
> of died from nicotine withdrawal. And with the gum and the lozenges and the
> patches, we have far more resources at our fingertips than previous
> generations who also succeeded.
>
> I used to love to post in here, to read other's posts, but I got so
> discouraged by all the people who tried and started up again, tried again,
> started up again... All of the "Oh, that's OK, maybe you'll do better next
> time" posts. Bullshit. It's *NOT* OK. It wasn't OK when I failed, and it sure
> as hell isn't OK when anyone else fails. It's a damn shame. Because every
> time someone tries and ends up lighting up again, it's just one more victory
> for the tobacco industry, one more victory for cigarettes, and one more
> person who is admitting that they can't control themselves.
>
> Rough, yes, but true. Us smokers couldn't control ourselves. That's why we
> smoked. We lacked the willpower, the bullheadedness, the confidence in
> ourselves to simply say "I don't like doing this, so I'm not going to do it
> anymore."
>
> This world has become for so many such a world of comfort and quick
> satisfaction that as a race we seem to be unable to do things that require
> effort anymore, that require dedication and involve discomfort.
>
> But that's what it takes to quit smoking. None of us, when we decided to
> quit, ever said "Boy, this'll be a piece of cake!". We all *KNOW* it's not
> going to be easy, we all *KNOW* that we're going to have cravings, want that
> cigarette, and may damn well end up giving into that need.
>
> But there's not a single fucking reason why we should. When you get down to
> it, it's just too damn simple to quit that there's literally no valid excuse
> not to quit.
>
> I was at a bar two days after quitting, sitting around having drinks with my
> friends. Something that most people tell you not to do, because you avoid
> things that trigger that desire to smoke. I was having sex the night I quit,
> another trigger. I just kept telling myself that I wasn't a smoker. I was in
> charge of my life, and that life no longer involved smoking.
>
> I went through a year of hell in my marriage that really got bad within the
> first month of my quitting. I'd get so fed up with my wife that I'd go spend
> a week at a hotel a few times a month.
>
> So I went through all the things that would've normally had me smoking like a
> chimney. And during them all, not once did it ever occur to me to have a
> cigarette. I simply didn't smoke anymore. Period. It wasn't an option.
>
> And I'm one of the laziest people I know. I can bust my ass in a 45 hour long
> single day at work, but ultimately that's because I'm lazy and doing that
> makes something else easier down the road. I far prefer the comfort to the
> effort.
>
> But I quit.
>
> 3 years, fucking incredible. All because this time I decided I was fed up
> with being a pussy... I was fed up with not being in control of my own
> actions, my own day, my own fucking life.
>
> I quit.
>
> And there's not a single smoker who's reading this message that can't do the
> same. No excuses, no bullshit, no whining, no complaining. Just fucking make
> up your mind that you're going to quit. Not because of health, not because of
> money, but simply because you WANT TO.
>
> Don't externalize the reasons. It's noble to quit for your family, for your
> baby, etc... But it's also not nearly as effective as quitting for yourself.
> No matter how selfless and noble we are, it's still easier to do something
> for yourself.
>
> Stop the justifications, the excuses. Just make up your mind to do it. That's
> really all it takes. The rest is just patience and determination, no matter
> how good or bad it is. Cravings will pass. And they happen whether or not you
> smoke. Give in to one, and another is right down the line. So why give in?
> They go away. let them go away on their own, not by lighting up.
>
> 3 fucking years baby. And I'm DAMNED proud of it. Every one of us here can
> be. Every single person in here can quit.
>
> Good luck. Marvin, you still around? You should be coming around the corner
> right behind me.
>
> John
>
> --
> John

WOW, John! What a great post! Congratulations on 3 terrific years!
Hugs,
Pam

John, THANK YOU for one of the most lucid and true stories regarding
smoking and smobriety I've ever read in years of kicking around in
AS3Land. You are so on target about quitting that I really can not
add anything to it. So, I'll just start the congratulations that will
pour in for you and let you know that the Yodeling Gnomes will be
showing up to sing songs of smobriety with you as you celebrate those
3 golden years of smobriety tonight!

FlatironMike
FSS
Four months, four weeks, one day, 12 hours, 51 minutes and 7 seconds.
2990 cigarettes not smoked, saving $896.96. Life saved: 1 week, 3
days, 9 hours, 10 minutes.

On Jul 10, 8:04 am, "John" <jdth...@deletethis.hotmail.com> wrote:
> I don't think I can do better than my 2 year post, so I'm going to be lazy
> and repost that, since everything still applies, except for two things:
>
> First, I've changed the numbers to reflect 3 years.
>
> More important, I talk in the post about not smoking even in the middle of
> problems with my marriage. I still haven't smoked with problems in the
> marriage continuing this last year. In March, my 3 year old son had
> pneumonia. My wife, who joined this hyper religious church (some call it a
> cult) back in 2000 (hence the beginning of marriage problems when she started
> treating me different because I didn't "belong" to her church), had a
> psychotic break when he had pneumonia, lost all touch with reality. I ended
> up calling 911 twice, once on a Monday morning because she was trying to keep
> me from giving him water (had a temp of over 103) and penecillin. The second
> time I called 911 was after midnight that same day, and she was completely
> gone, thought she was god, telling me that she was pregnant with twins
> because god showed her in the bible where it said she was pregnant. This
> despite the fact that she had pregnancy tests in the bathroom that all said
> negative. Police came, called an ambulance, and that morning I find out they
> spirited her away to another city to a mental facility. The state
> involuntarily committed her for three weeks to see if medication would help.
> It did. They diagnosed it as a psychotic break, due to depression and
> borderline anorexia. She came back home, and on the medications, she was once
> again the wife I married, the woman I hadn't seen for 6 1/2 years. Apologetic
> for the things she did (went off birth control and got pregnant without ever
> letting me be part of the decision, then quit her job without ever telling
> me, leaving me responsible for all the finances, that kind of stuff). Shesaw
> how wrong it was for her to discount me because of her church. Everything
> finally fell into place, until she got a different shrink (court ordered as
> conditions of her release she see a shrink every week or two, and she be on
> medication, otherwise she could be put back in). The new shrink is part of
> her church, said it was all a spiritual attack by satan, and she stopped
> taking the meds and went right back to her "new" self, with a few more
> delusions... She then snuck out of the house on the 29th of June with my son,
> left a note saying she filed for divorce.
>
> So we're in the process of getting a divorce. I'm trying to see if her being
> off her meds again, writing in her journal that she still hears voices and
> has problems distinguishing "good" voices from "bad" voices, has any effect
> on custody, since I"m trying for full custody as long as she won't get back
> on her meds (or if she can be put back in the facility since quitting her
> meds was a violation of the court's order for her release).
>
> During all of this, I have had no desire to smoke. NONE. Smoking is not only
> not an option, it's also not a thought. So if I can do it through this type
> of crap, anyone can do it.
>
> Anyway, here's the copy/paste from my post from last year. Everything other
> than the marriage and meter are still valid. And here's my almost 3 year
> meter, and I am looking forward to Marvin's post soon after mine as he's
> right there too.
>
> I quit those damn smokes 2 Years, 11 Months, 4 Weeks, 1 Day, 10 hours, 17
> minutes and 38 seconds ago, giving my new baby an additional 3 Months, 3
> Weeks, 21 hours and 30 minutes of having a father in this life, by avoiding
> the use of 32,802 evil nicotine delivery devices that would have raped meout
> of $5,740.49.
>
> Tonight I hit 3 years quit.
>
> Not bad for someone who tried half a dozen times in half assed attempts to
> quit over 20 years...
>
> So I'm living proof it can be done, along with all the other quitters in
> here.
>
> There is no excuse. I know everyone talks about the nicodemon, but lets face
> it, it all comes down to choice. Plain and simple.
>
> For some, it's a choice for life. They want to do something to make their
> lives better, and potentiall longer, by removing something that is known to
> be harmful.
>
> For others, it's a choice of money. They want to stop spending money on
> something that ultimately gives them nothing of value in return.
>
> For me, it was a matter of pride. I finally realized I was sick and tiredof
> being a slave to several grams of paper and leaves and chemicals. I hated
> going to the movies, and half way through wanting to have a smoke, having
> that thought always in the mind taking away from the movie experience, then
> being one of the people rushing out of the theater to light up once the movie
> was done. I hated wondering if now was a good time to grab a smoke duringthe
> lulls at work. I hated sitting in my garage during the winter, since I was at
> least in control enough of myself to determine when I built my house I'd
> never smoke in it. I hated running out in the evening when I'd rather sit
> home and relax, but knowing I needed to get some cigarettes for the morning
> so that I would not run out. I hated not being able to smoke at some of the
> places I liked, and thus avoiding them so that I would not have to deal with
> the discomfort. I hated my friends, all non-smokers, who would come to the
> bar and have drinks with me while I smoked, having to put up with my smoking.
> I hated not being able to smoke in my car when I had my newborn baby in it. I
> hated knowing that I shouldn't smoke, but smoked anyway.
>
> I hated my half assed failed attempts. My own fault, not taking them
> seriously, because I knew "I failed before, so I'm probably not going to
> succeed this time either."
>
> I hated being a fucking slave to some little piece of shit *thing* that
> controlled every aspect of my life. Where I ate, where I drank, what I did,
> when I saw movies, every single aspect of my day, both professional and
> personal, was controlled by that little inanimate object, telling me whenI
> could and could not do something to make sure I had everything planned and
> scheduled around when I'd smoke.
>
> We try, we fail sometimes. But there's only one thing that keeps us smoking -
> ourselves. We can talk about the nicodemon, but nobody that I've ever heard
> of died from nicotine withdrawal. And with the gum and the lozenges and the
> patches, we have far more resources at our fingertips than previous
> generations who also succeeded.
>
> I used to love to post in here, to read other's posts, but I got so
> discouraged by all the people who tried and started up again, tried again,
> started up again... All of the "Oh, that's OK, maybe you'll do better next
> time" posts. Bullshit. It's *NOT* OK. It wasn't OK when I failed, and it sure
> as hell isn't OK when anyone else fails. It's a damn shame. Because every
> time someone tries and ends up lighting up again, it's just one more victory
> for the tobacco industry, one more victory for cigarettes, and one more
> person who is admitting that they can't control themselves.
>
> Rough, yes, but true. Us smokers couldn't control ourselves. That's why we
> smoked. We lacked the willpower, the bullheadedness, the confidence in
> ourselves to simply say "I don't like doing this, so I'm not going to do it
> anymore."
>
> This world has become for so many such a world of comfort and quick
> satisfaction that as a race we seem to be unable to do things that require
> effort anymore, that require dedication and involve discomfort.
>
> But that's what it takes to quit smoking. None of us, when we decided to
> quit, ever said "Boy, this'll be a piece of cake!". We all *KNOW* it's not
> going to be easy, we all *KNOW* that we're going to have cravings, want that
> cigarette, and may damn well end up giving into that need.
>
> But there's not a single fucking reason why we should. When you get down to
> it, it's just too damn simple to quit that there's literally no valid excuse
> not to quit.
>
> I was at a bar two days after quitting, sitting around having drinks withmy
> friends. Something that most people tell you not to do, because you avoid
> things that trigger that desire to smoke. I was having sex the night I quit,
> another trigger. I just kept telling myself that I wasn't a smoker. I wasin
> charge of my life, and that life no longer involved smoking.
>
> I went through a year of hell in my marriage that really got bad within the
> first month of my quitting. I'd get so fed up with my wife that I'd go spend
> a week at a hotel a few times a month.
>
> So I went through all the things that would've normally had me smoking like a
> chimney. And during them all, not once did it ever occur to me to have a
> cigarette. I simply didn't smoke anymore. Period. It wasn't an option.
>
> And I'm one of the laziest people I know. I can bust my ass in a 45 hour long
> single day at work, but ultimately that's because I'm lazy and doing that
> makes something else easier down the road. I far prefer the comfort to the
> effort.
>
> But I quit.
>
> 3 years, fucking incredible. All because this time I decided I was fed up
> with being a pussy... I was fed up with not being in control of my own
> actions, my own day, my own fucking life.
>
> I quit.
>
> And there's not a single smoker who's reading this message that can't do the
> same. No excuses, no bullshit, no whining, no complaining. Just fucking make
> up your mind that you're going to quit. Not because of health, not because of
> money, but simply because you WANT TO.
>
> Don't externalize the reasons. It's noble to quit for your family, for your
> baby, etc... But it's also not nearly as effective as quitting for yourself.
> No matter how selfless and noble we are, it's still easier to do something
> for yourself.
>
> Stop the justifications, the excuses. Just make up your mind to do it. That's
> really all it takes. The rest is just patience and determination, no matter
> how good or bad it is. Cravings will pass. And they happen whether or notyou
> smoke. Give in to one, and another is right down the line. So why give in?
> They go away. let them go away on their own, not by lighting up.
>
> 3 fucking years baby. And I'm DAMNED proud of it. Every one of us here ...
>
> read more »

Amen, Brother!!

Great job

Mike W. VOF

GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
--
Les Stewart 7y+
Beaumont, TX 30ºN 94ºW



"John" <jdthird@deletethis.hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:teNki.7871$xG2.429@fe05.news.easynews.com...
>I don't think I can do better than my 2 year post, so I'm going to be lazy
> and repost that, since everything still applies, except for two things:

John,

Your quit is truely amazing. Way to go,
and huge Congratulations!

Thanks for sharing.

jacks, VOF
Let the healing continue.

John, congrats. I am sorry you are going through so much now, it sounds
pretty rough. But you aren't smoking over it. Hang in there, the sun
will shine again.
SteveS
Soon to be OOF

John wrote:
> I don't think I can do better than my 2 year post, so I'm going to be lazy
> and repost that, since everything still applies, except for two things:
>
> First, I've changed the numbers to reflect 3 years.
>
> More important, I talk in the post about not smoking even in the middle of
> problems with my marriage. I still haven't smoked with problems in the
> marriage continuing this last year. In March, my 3 year old son had
> pneumonia. My wife, who joined this hyper religious church (some call it a
> cult) back in 2000 (hence the beginning of marriage problems when she started
> treating me different because I didn't "belong" to her church), had a
> psychotic break when he had pneumonia, lost all touch with reality. I ended
> up calling 911 twice, once on a Monday morning because she was trying to keep
> me from giving him water (had a temp of over 103) and penecillin. The second
> time I called 911 was after midnight that same day, and she was completely
> gone, thought she was god, telling me that she was pregnant with twins
> because god showed her in the bible where it said she was pregnant. This
> despite the fact that she had pregnancy tests in the bathroom that all said
> negative. Police came, called an ambulance, and that morning I find out they
> spirited her away to another city to a mental facility. The state
> involuntarily committed her for three weeks to see if medication would help.
> It did. They diagnosed it as a psychotic break, due to depression and
> borderline anorexia. She came back home, and on the medications, she was once
> again the wife I married, the woman I hadn't seen for 6 1/2 years. Apologetic
> for the things she did (went off birth control and got pregnant without ever
> letting me be part of the decision, then quit her job without ever telling
> me, leaving me responsible for all the finances, that kind of stuff). She saw
> how wrong it was for her to discount me because of her church. Everything
> finally fell into place, until she got a different shrink (court ordered as
> conditions of her release she see a shrink every week or two, and she be on
> medication, otherwise she could be put back in). The new shrink is part of
> her church, said it was all a spiritual attack by satan, and she stopped
> taking the meds and went right back to her "new" self, with a few more
> delusions... She then snuck out of the house on the 29th of June with my son,
> left a note saying she filed for divorce.
>
> So we're in the process of getting a divorce. I'm trying to see if her being
> off her meds again, writing in her journal that she still hears voices and
> has problems distinguishing "good" voices from "bad" voices, has any effect
> on custody, since I"m trying for full custody as long as she won't get back
> on her meds (or if she can be put back in the facility since quitting her
> meds was a violation of the court's order for her release).
>
> During all of this, I have had no desire to smoke. NONE. Smoking is not only
> not an option, it's also not a thought. So if I can do it through this type
> of crap, anyone can do it.
>
> Anyway, here's the copy/paste from my post from last year. Everything other
> than the marriage and meter are still valid. And here's my almost 3 year
> meter, and I am looking forward to Marvin's post soon after mine as he's
> right there too.
>
> I quit those damn smokes 2 Years, 11 Months, 4 Weeks, 1 Day, 10 hours, 17
> minutes and 38 seconds ago, giving my new baby an additional 3 Months, 3
> Weeks, 21 hours and 30 minutes of having a father in this life, by avoiding
> the use of 32,802 evil nicotine delivery devices that would have raped me out
> of $5,740.49.
>
>
>
>
>
> Tonight I hit 3 years quit.
>
> Not bad for someone who tried half a dozen times in half assed attempts to
> quit over 20 years...
>
> So I'm living proof it can be done, along with all the other quitters in
> here.
>
> There is no excuse. I know everyone talks about the nicodemon, but lets face
> it, it all comes down to choice. Plain and simple.
>
> For some, it's a choice for life. They want to do something to make their
> lives better, and potentiall longer, by removing something that is known to
> be harmful.
>
> For others, it's a choice of money. They want to stop spending money on
> something that ultimately gives them nothing of value in return.
>
> For me, it was a matter of pride. I finally realized I was sick and tired of
> being a slave to several grams of paper and leaves and chemicals. I hated
> going to the movies, and half way through wanting to have a smoke, having
> that thought always in the mind taking away from the movie experience, then
> being one of the people rushing out of the theater to light up once the movie
> was done. I hated wondering if now was a good time to grab a smoke during the
> lulls at work. I hated sitting in my garage during the winter, since I was at
> least in control enough of myself to determine when I built my house I'd
> never smoke in it. I hated running out in the evening when I'd rather sit
> home and relax, but knowing I needed to get some cigarettes for the morning
> so that I would not run out. I hated not being able to smoke at some of the
> places I liked, and thus avoiding them so that I would not have to deal with
> the discomfort. I hated my friends, all non-smokers, who would come to the
> bar and have drinks with me while I smoked, having to put up with my smoking.
> I hated not being able to smoke in my car when I had my newborn baby in it. I
> hated knowing that I shouldn't smoke, but smoked anyway.
>
> I hated my half assed failed attempts. My own fault, not taking them
> seriously, because I knew "I failed before, so I'm probably not going to
> succeed this time either."
>
> I hated being a fucking slave to some little piece of shit *thing* that
> controlled every aspect of my life. Where I ate, where I drank, what I did,
> when I saw movies, every single aspect of my day, both professional and
> personal, was controlled by that little inanimate object, telling me when I
> could and could not do something to make sure I had everything planned and
> scheduled around when I'd smoke.
>
> We try, we fail sometimes. But there's only one thing that keeps us smoking -
> ourselves. We can talk about the nicodemon, but nobody that I've ever heard
> of died from nicotine withdrawal. And with the gum and the lozenges and the
> patches, we have far more resources at our fingertips than previous
> generations who also succeeded.
>
> I used to love to post in here, to read other's posts, but I got so
> discouraged by all the people who tried and started up again, tried again,
> started up again... All of the "Oh, that's OK, maybe you'll do better next
> time" posts. Bullshit. It's *NOT* OK. It wasn't OK when I failed, and it sure
> as hell isn't OK when anyone else fails. It's a damn shame. Because every
> time someone tries and ends up lighting up again, it's just one more victory
> for the tobacco industry, one more victory for cigarettes, and one more
> person who is admitting that they can't control themselves.
>
> Rough, yes, but true. Us smokers couldn't control ourselves. That's why we
> smoked. We lacked the willpower, the bullheadedness, the confidence in
> ourselves to simply say "I don't like doing this, so I'm not going to do it
> anymore."
>
> This world has become for so many such a world of comfort and quick
> satisfaction that as a race we seem to be unable to do things that require
> effort anymore, that require dedication and involve discomfort.
>
> But that's what it takes to quit smoking. None of us, when we decided to
> quit, ever said "Boy, this'll be a piece of cake!". We all *KNOW* it's not
> going to be easy, we all *KNOW* that we're going to have cravings, want that
> cigarette, and may damn well end up giving into that need.
>
> But there's not a single fucking reason why we should. When you get down to
> it, it's just too damn simple to quit that there's literally no valid excuse
> not to quit.
>
> I was at a bar two days after quitting, sitting around having drinks with my
> friends. Something that most people tell you not to do, because you avoid
> things that trigger that desire to smoke. I was having sex the night I quit,
> another trigger. I just kept telling myself that I wasn't a smoker. I was in
> charge of my life, and that life no longer involved smoking.
>
> I went through a year of hell in my marriage that really got bad within the
> first month of my quitting. I'd get so fed up with my wife that I'd go spend
> a week at a hotel a few times a month.
>
> So I went through all the things that would've normally had me smoking like a
> chimney. And during them all, not once did it ever occur to me to have a
> cigarette. I simply didn't smoke anymore. Period. It wasn't an option.
>
> And I'm one of the laziest people I know. I can bust my ass in a 45 hour long
> single day at work, but ultimately that's because I'm lazy and doing that
> makes something else easier down the road. I far prefer the comfort to the
> effort.
>
> But I quit.
>
> 3 years, fucking incredible. All because this time I decided I was fed up
> with being a pussy... I was fed up with not being in control of my own
> actions, my own day, my own fucking life.
>
> I quit.
>
> And there's not a single smoker who's reading this message that can't do the
> same. No excuses, no bullshit, no whining, no complaining. Just fucking make
> up your mind that you're going to quit. Not because of health, not because of
> money, but simply because you WANT TO.
>
> Don't externalize the reasons. It's noble to quit for your family, for your
> baby, etc... But it's also not nearly as effective as quitting for yourself.
> No matter how selfless and noble we are, it's still easier to do something
> for yourself.
>
> Stop the justifications, the excuses. Just make up your mind to do it. That's
> really all it takes. The rest is just patience and determination, no matter
> how good or bad it is. Cravings will pass. And they happen whether or not you
> smoke. Give in to one, and another is right down the line. So why give in?
> They go away. let them go away on their own, not by lighting up.
>
> 3 fucking years baby. And I'm DAMNED proud of it. Every one of us here can
> be. Every single person in here can quit.
>
> Good luck. Marvin, you still around? You should be coming around the corner
> right behind me.
>
> John
>

On Jul 10, 11:04 am, "John" <jdth...@deletethis.hotmail.com> wrote:
> I don't think I can do better than my 2 year post, so I'm going to be lazy
> and repost that, since everything still applies, except for two things:
>
> First, I've changed the numbers to reflect 3 years.
>
> More important, I talk in the post about not smoking even in the middle of
> problems with my marriage. I still haven't smoked with problems in the
> marriage continuing this last year. In March, my 3 year old son had
> pneumonia. My wife, who joined this hyper religious church (some call it a
> cult) back in 2000 (hence the beginning of marriage problems when she started
> treating me different because I didn't "belong" to her church), had a
> psychotic break when he had pneumonia, lost all touch with reality. I ended
> up calling 911 twice, once on a Monday morning because she was trying to keep
> me from giving him water (had a temp of over 103) and penecillin. The second
> time I called 911 was after midnight that same day, and she was completely
> gone, thought she was god, telling me that she was pregnant with twins
> because god showed her in the bible where it said she was pregnant. This
> despite the fact that she had pregnancy tests in the bathroom that all said
> negative. Police came, called an ambulance, and that morning I find out they
> spirited her away to another city to a mental facility. The state
> involuntarily committed her for three weeks to see if medication would help.
> It did. They diagnosed it as a psychotic break, due to depression and
> borderline anorexia. She came back home, and on the medications, she was once
> again the wife I married, the woman I hadn't seen for 6 1/2 years. Apologetic
> for the things she did (went off birth control and got pregnant without ever
> letting me be part of the decision, then quit her job without ever telling
> me, leaving me responsible for all the finances, that kind of stuff). Shesaw
> how wrong it was for her to discount me because of her church. Everything
> finally fell into place, until she got a different shrink (court ordered as
> conditions of her release she see a shrink every week or two, and she be on
> medication, otherwise she could be put back in). The new shrink is part of
> her church, said it was all a spiritual attack by satan, and she stopped
> taking the meds and went right back to her "new" self, with a few more
> delusions... She then snuck out of the house on the 29th of June with my son,
> left a note saying she filed for divorce.
>
> So we're in the process of getting a divorce. I'm trying to see if her being
> off her meds again, writing in her journal that she still hears voices and
> has problems distinguishing "good" voices from "bad" voices, has any effect
> on custody, since I"m trying for full custody as long as she won't get back
> on her meds (or if she can be put back in the facility since quitting her
> meds was a violation of the court's order for her release).
>
> During all of this, I have had no desire to smoke. NONE. Smoking is not only
> not an option, it's also not a thought. So if I can do it through this type
> of crap, anyone can do it.
>
> Anyway, here's the copy/paste from my post from last year. Everything other
> than the marriage and meter are still valid. And here's my almost 3 year
> meter, and I am looking forward to Marvin's post soon after mine as he's
> right there too.
>
> I quit those damn smokes 2 Years, 11 Months, 4 Weeks, 1 Day, 10 hours, 17
> minutes and 38 seconds ago, giving my new baby an additional 3 Months, 3
> Weeks, 21 hours and 30 minutes of having a father in this life, by avoiding
> the use of 32,802 evil nicotine delivery devices that would have raped meout
> of $5,740.49.
>
> Tonight I hit 3 years quit.
>
> Not bad for someone who tried half a dozen times in half assed attempts to
> quit over 20 years...
>
> So I'm living proof it can be done, along with all the other quitters in
> here.
>
> There is no excuse. I know everyone talks about the nicodemon, but lets face
> it, it all comes down to choice. Plain and simple.
>
> For some, it's a choice for life. They want to do something to make their
> lives better, and potentiall longer, by removing something that is known to
> be harmful.
>
> For others, it's a choice of money. They want to stop spending money on
> something that ultimately gives them nothing of value in return.
>
> For me, it was a matter of pride. I finally realized I was sick and tiredof
> being a slave to several grams of paper and leaves and chemicals. I hated
> going to the movies, and half way through wanting to have a smoke, having
> that thought always in the mind taking away from the movie experience, then
> being one of the people rushing out of the theater to light up once the movie
> was done. I hated wondering if now was a good time to grab a smoke duringthe
> lulls at work. I hated sitting in my garage during the winter, since I was at
> least in control enough of myself to determine when I built my house I'd
> never smoke in it. I hated running out in the evening when I'd rather sit
> home and relax, but knowing I needed to get some cigarettes for the morning
> so that I would not run out. I hated not being able to smoke at some of the
> places I liked, and thus avoiding them so that I would not have to deal with
> the discomfort. I hated my friends, all non-smokers, who would come to the
> bar and have drinks with me while I smoked, having to put up with my smoking.
> I hated not being able to smoke in my car when I had my newborn baby in it. I
> hated knowing that I shouldn't smoke, but smoked anyway.
>
> I hated my half assed failed attempts. My own fault, not taking them
> seriously, because I knew "I failed before, so I'm probably not going to
> succeed this time either."
>
> I hated being a fucking slave to some little piece of shit *thing* that
> controlled every aspect of my life. Where I ate, where I drank, what I did,
> when I saw movies, every single aspect of my day, both professional and
> personal, was controlled by that little inanimate object, telling me whenI
> could and could not do something to make sure I had everything planned and
> scheduled around when I'd smoke.
>
> We try, we fail sometimes. But there's only one thing that keeps us smoking -
> ourselves. We can talk about the nicodemon, but nobody that I've ever heard
> of died from nicotine withdrawal. And with the gum and the lozenges and the
> patches, we have far more resources at our fingertips than previous
> generations who also succeeded.
>
> I used to love to post in here, to read other's posts, but I got so
> discouraged by all the people who tried and started up again, tried again,
> started up again... All of the "Oh, that's OK, maybe you'll do better next
> time" posts. Bullshit. It's *NOT* OK. It wasn't OK when I failed, and it sure
> as hell isn't OK when anyone else fails. It's a damn shame. Because every
> time someone tries and ends up lighting up again, it's just one more victory
> for the tobacco industry, one more victory for cigarettes, and one more
> person who is admitting that they can't control themselves.
>
> Rough, yes, but true. Us smokers couldn't control ourselves. That's why we
> smoked. We lacked the willpower, the bullheadedness, the confidence in
> ourselves to simply say "I don't like doing this, so I'm not going to do it
> anymore."
>
> This world has become for so many such a world of comfort and quick
> satisfaction that as a race we seem to be unable to do things that require
> effort anymore, that require dedication and involve discomfort.
>
> But that's what it takes to quit smoking. None of us, when we decided to
> quit, ever said "Boy, this'll be a piece of cake!". We all *KNOW* it's not
> going to be easy, we all *KNOW* that we're going to have cravings, want that
> cigarette, and may damn well end up giving into that need.
>
> But there's not a single fucking reason why we should. When you get down to
> it, it's just too damn simple to quit that there's literally no valid excuse
> not to quit.
>
> I was at a bar two days after quitting, sitting around having drinks withmy
> friends. Something that most people tell you not to do, because you avoid
> things that trigger that desire to smoke. I was having sex the night I quit,
> another trigger. I just kept telling myself that I wasn't a smoker. I wasin
> charge of my life, and that life no longer involved smoking.
>
> I went through a year of hell in my marriage that really got bad within the
> first month of my quitting. I'd get so fed up with my wife that I'd go spend
> a week at a hotel a few times a month.
>
> So I went through all the things that would've normally had me smoking like a
> chimney. And during them all, not once did it ever occur to me to have a
> cigarette. I simply didn't smoke anymore. Period. It wasn't an option.
>
> And I'm one of the laziest people I know. I can bust my ass in a 45 hour long
> single day at work, but ultimately that's because I'm lazy and doing that
> makes something else easier down the road. I far prefer the comfort to the
> effort.
>
> But I quit.
>
> 3 years, fucking incredible. All because this time I decided I was fed up
> with being a pussy... I was fed up with not being in control of my own
> actions, my own day, my own fucking life.
>
> I quit.
>
> And there's not a single smoker who's reading this message that can't do the
> same. No excuses, no bullshit, no whining, no complaining. Just fucking make
> up your mind that you're going to quit. Not because of health, not because of
> money, but simply because you WANT TO.
>
> Don't externalize the reasons. It's noble to quit for your family, for your
> baby, etc... But it's also not nearly as effective as quitting for yourself.
> No matter how selfless and noble we are, it's still easier to do something
> for yourself.
>
> Stop the justifications, the excuses. Just make up your mind to do it. That's
> really all it takes. The rest is just patience and determination, no matter
> how good or bad it is. Cravings will pass. And they happen whether or notyou
> smoke. Give in to one, and another is right down the line. So why give in?
> They go away. let them go away on their own, not by lighting up.
>
> 3 fucking years baby. And I'm DAMNED proud of it. Every one of us here ...
>
> read more »

You know, I needed a bit of a backhand across my face regarding this
whole being and staying quit thing, and I thank you for this. Smoking
is not an option, no matter what. Thanks for the wakeup call,
congratulations, and Good Luck with a helluva situation. I hope
you're getting some support (maybe through the hospital?)
Stephanie

John!

All I can say is "Huge Congratulations on 3 years"!

Hope things settle down for you -- and work out for the best for you and
your family. That's a pretty rough run.

Great post too! Smokings *not* an option.

My 3 year mark is next month and I'm very much looking forward to it --
I will certainly be celebrating.

Cheers and Man-Hugs!

-- Marvin

--
I don't smoke. I smell like bread. Life is Good.

On 7/10/2007 10:21:47 AM, FlatIronMike wrote:
> John, THANK YOU for one of the most lucid and true stories regarding
> smoking and smobriety I've ever read in years of kicking around in
> AS3Land. You are so on target about quitting that I really can not
> add anything to it. So, I'll just start the congratulations that will
> pour in for you and let you know that the Yodeling Gnomes will be
> showing up to sing songs of smobriety with you as you celebrate those
> 3 golden years of smobriety tonight!
>
> FlatironMike
> FSS
> Four months, four weeks, one day, 12 hours, 51 minutes and 7 seconds.
> 2990 cigarettes not smoked, saving $896.96. Life saved: 1 week, 3
> days, 9 hours, 10 minutes.
>
>

Thanks! I'll disable the automatic weaponry so no Yodeling Gnomes get hurt.


John

--
John

On Tue, 10 Jul 2007 15:04:58 GMT, "John"
<jdthird@deletethis.hotmail.com> wrote:

>I don't think I can do better than my 2 year post, so I'm going to be lazy
>and repost that, since everything still applies, except for two things:
>
>First, I've changed the numbers to reflect 3 years.
>
>More important, I talk in the post about not smoking even in the middle of
>problems with my marriage. I still haven't smoked with problems in the
>marriage continuing this last year. In March, my 3 year old son had
>pneumonia. My wife, who joined this hyper religious church (some call it a
>cult) back in 2000 (hence the beginning of marriage problems when she started
>treating me different because I didn't "belong" to her church), had a
>psychotic break when he had pneumonia, lost all touch with reality. I ended
>up calling 911 twice, once on a Monday morning because she was trying to keep
>me from giving him water (had a temp of over 103) and penecillin. The second
>time I called 911 was after midnight that same day, and she was completely
>gone, thought she was god, telling me that she was pregnant with twins
>because god showed her in the bible where it said she was pregnant. This
>despite the fact that she had pregnancy tests in the bathroom that all said
>negative. Police came, called an ambulance, and that morning I find out they
>spirited her away to another city to a mental facility. The state
>involuntarily committed her for three weeks to see if medication would help.
>It did. They diagnosed it as a psychotic break, due to depression and
>borderline anorexia. She came back home, and on the medications, she was once
>again the wife I married, the woman I hadn't seen for 6 1/2 years. Apologetic
>for the things she did (went off birth control and got pregnant without ever
>letting me be part of the decision, then quit her job without ever telling
>me, leaving me responsible for all the finances, that kind of stuff). She saw
>how wrong it was for her to discount me because of her church. Everything
>finally fell into place, until she got a different shrink (court ordered as
>conditions of her release she see a shrink every week or two, and she be on
>medication, otherwise she could be put back in). The new shrink is part of
>her church, said it was all a spiritual attack by satan, and she stopped
>taking the meds and went right back to her "new" self, with a few more
>delusions... She then snuck out of the house on the 29th of June with my son,
>left a note saying she filed for divorce.
>
>So we're in the process of getting a divorce. I'm trying to see if her being
>off her meds again, writing in her journal that she still hears voices and
>has problems distinguishing "good" voices from "bad" voices, has any effect
>on custody, since I"m trying for full custody as long as she won't get back
>on her meds (or if she can be put back in the facility since quitting her
>meds was a violation of the court's order for her release).

If you can't get your child back there is truly something wrong with
the whole system.

>
>During all of this, I have had no desire to smoke. NONE. Smoking is not only
>not an option, it's also not a thought. So if I can do it through this type
>of crap, anyone can do it.
>
>Anyway, here's the copy/paste from my post from last year. Everything other
>than the marriage and meter are still valid. And here's my almost 3 year
>meter, and I am looking forward to Marvin's post soon after mine as he's
>right there too.
>
>I quit those damn smokes 2 Years, 11 Months, 4 Weeks, 1 Day, 10 hours, 17
>minutes and 38 seconds ago, giving my new baby an additional 3 Months, 3
>Weeks, 21 hours and 30 minutes of having a father in this life, by avoiding
>the use of 32,802 evil nicotine delivery devices that would have raped me out
>of $5,740.49.
>
>
>
>
>
>Tonight I hit 3 years quit.
>
>Not bad for someone who tried half a dozen times in half assed attempts to
>quit over 20 years...
>
>So I'm living proof it can be done, along with all the other quitters in
>here.
>
>There is no excuse. I know everyone talks about the nicodemon, but lets face
>it, it all comes down to choice. Plain and simple.
>
>For some, it's a choice for life. They want to do something to make their
>lives better, and potentiall longer, by removing something that is known to
>be harmful.
>
>For others, it's a choice of money. They want to stop spending money on
>something that ultimately gives them nothing of value in return.
>
>For me, it was a matter of pride. I finally realized I was sick and tired of
>being a slave to several grams of paper and leaves and chemicals. I hated
>going to the movies, and half way through wanting to have a smoke, having
>that thought always in the mind taking away from the movie experience, then
>being one of the people rushing out of the theater to light up once the movie
>was done. I hated wondering if now was a good time to grab a smoke during the
>lulls at work. I hated sitting in my garage during the winter, since I was at
>least in control enough of myself to determine when I built my house I'd
>never smoke in it. I hated running out in the evening when I'd rather sit
>home and relax, but knowing I needed to get some cigarettes for the morning
>so that I would not run out. I hated not being able to smoke at some of the
>places I liked, and thus avoiding them so that I would not have to deal with
>the discomfort. I hated my friends, all non-smokers, who would come to the
>bar and have drinks with me while I smoked, having to put up with my smoking.
>I hated not being able to smoke in my car when I had my newborn baby in it. I
>hated knowing that I shouldn't smoke, but smoked anyway.
>
>I hated my half assed failed attempts. My own fault, not taking them
>seriously, because I knew "I failed before, so I'm probably not going to
>succeed this time either."
>
>I hated being a fucking slave to some little piece of shit *thing* that
>controlled every aspect of my life. Where I ate, where I drank, what I did,
>when I saw movies, every single aspect of my day, both professional and
>personal, was controlled by that little inanimate object, telling me when I
>could and could not do something to make sure I had everything planned and
>scheduled around when I'd smoke.
>
>We try, we fail sometimes. But there's only one thing that keeps us smoking -
>ourselves. We can talk about the nicodemon, but nobody that I've ever heard
>of died from nicotine withdrawal. And with the gum and the lozenges and the
>patches, we have far more resources at our fingertips than previous
>generations who also succeeded.
>
>I used to love to post in here, to read other's posts, but I got so
>discouraged by all the people who tried and started up again, tried again,
>started up again... All of the "Oh, that's OK, maybe you'll do better next
>time" posts. Bullshit. It's *NOT* OK. It wasn't OK when I failed, and it sure
>as hell isn't OK when anyone else fails. It's a damn shame. Because every
>time someone tries and ends up lighting up again, it's just one more victory
>for the tobacco industry, one more victory for cigarettes, and one more
>person who is admitting that they can't control themselves.
>
>Rough, yes, but true. Us smokers couldn't control ourselves. That's why we
>smoked. We lacked the willpower, the bullheadedness, the confidence in
>ourselves to simply say "I don't like doing this, so I'm not going to do it
>anymore."
>
>This world has become for so many such a world of comfort and quick
>satisfaction that as a race we seem to be unable to do things that require
>effort anymore, that require dedication and involve discomfort.
>
>But that's what it takes to quit smoking. None of us, when we decided to
>quit, ever said "Boy, this'll be a piece of cake!". We all *KNOW* it's not
>going to be easy, we all *KNOW* that we're going to have cravings, want that
>cigarette, and may damn well end up giving into that need.
>
>But there's not a single fucking reason why we should. When you get down to
>it, it's just too damn simple to quit that there's literally no valid excuse
>not to quit.
>
>I was at a bar two days after quitting, sitting around having drinks with my
>friends. Something that most people tell you not to do, because you avoid
>things that trigger that desire to smoke. I was having sex the night I quit,
>another trigger. I just kept telling myself that I wasn't a smoker. I was in
>charge of my life, and that life no longer involved smoking.
>
>I went through a year of hell in my marriage that really got bad within the
>first month of my quitting. I'd get so fed up with my wife that I'd go spend
>a week at a hotel a few times a month.
>
>So I went through all the things that would've normally had me smoking like a
>chimney. And during them all, not once did it ever occur to me to have a
>cigarette. I simply didn't smoke anymore. Period. It wasn't an option.
>
>And I'm one of the laziest people I know. I can bust my ass in a 45 hour long
>single day at work, but ultimately that's because I'm lazy and doing that
>makes something else easier down the road. I far prefer the comfort to the
>effort.
>
>But I quit.
>
>3 years, fucking incredible. All because this time I decided I was fed up
>with being a pussy... I was fed up with not being in control of my own
>actions, my own day, my own fucking life.
>
>I quit.
>
>And there's not a single smoker who's reading this message that can't do the
>same. No excuses, no bullshit, no whining, no complaining. Just fucking make
>up your mind that you're going to quit. Not because of health, not because of
>money, but simply because you WANT TO.
>
>Don't externalize the reasons. It's noble to quit for your family, for your
>baby, etc... But it's also not nearly as effective as quitting for yourself.
>No matter how selfless and noble we are, it's still easier to do something
>for yourself.
>
>Stop the justifications, the excuses. Just make up your mind to do it. That's
>really all it takes. The rest is just patience and determination, no matter
>how good or bad it is. Cravings will pass. And they happen whether or not you
>smoke. Give in to one, and another is right down the line. So why give in?
>They go away. let them go away on their own, not by lighting up.
>
>3 fucking years baby. And I'm DAMNED proud of it. Every one of us here can
>be. Every single person in here can quit.
>
>Good luck. Marvin, you still around? You should be coming around the corner
>right behind me.
>
>John

No offense to anyone else, but this is one of the best milestone posts
I've ever read. You didn't need to write a new one this year because
I don't think you could have done any better - no one could. This is
just superb!! I hope April reads this.
I wish you good luck with the wangling with your wife and my hat is
off to you for being able to keep your quit through all the problems
with her.
Sue
One year, three months, two weeks, five days, 20 hours, 4 minutes and
52 seconds. 15735 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,619.98. Life saved:
7 weeks, 5 days, 15 hours, 15 minutes.

On 7/10/2007 11:04:24 AM, "jacks" wrote:
> John,
>
> Your quit is truely amazing. Way to go,
> and huge Congratulations!
>
> Thanks for sharing.
>
> jacks, VOF
> Let the healing continue.
>
>

Thank you. Amazing how the years sneak up on you when you're not paying
attention to them. Seems like only yesterday I started this path...


--
John

>
> WOW, John! What a great post! Congratulations on 3 terrific years!
> Hugs,
> Pam
>
>

Thanks!


--
John

On 7/10/2007 10:39:38 AM, "Mike W." wrote:

>
> Amen, Brother!!
>
> Great job
>
> Mike W. VOF
>
>

Thanks! Glad to see you're still around - I know a lot of people who owe
their quits in large part to the support you do in this forum.


--
John

On 7/10/2007 11:23:25 AM, SteveS wrote:
> John, congrats. I am sorry you are going through so much now, it sounds
> pretty rough. But you aren't smoking over it. Hang in there, the sun
> will shine again.
> SteveS
> Soon to be OOF
>

Thanks Steve. And early congrats on the soon to be OOF. Impressive!

--
John

On 7/10/2007 10:49:09 AM, "Les Stewart" wrote:
> GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
> GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
> GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
> GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
> GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
> GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
> GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!
> GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!GoJohn!!


Thanks Les! <grumbling from meter envy>


--
John

On 7/10/2007 5:30:02 PM, Marvin The Paranoid Android wrote:
> John!
>
> All I can say is "Huge Congratulations on 3 years"!
>
> Hope things settle down for you -- and work out for the best for you and
> your family. That's a pretty rough run.
>
> Great post too! Smokings *not* an option.
>
> My 3 year mark is next month and I'm very much looking forward to it --
> I will certainly be celebrating.
>
> Cheers and Man-Hugs!
>

Thanks! Can't wait to read your 3 year post!


--
John

On 7/10/2007 1:10:59 PM, Stephanie wrote:

>
> You know, I needed a bit of a backhand across my face regarding this
> whole being and staying quit thing, and I thank you for this. Smoking
> is not an option, no matter what. Thanks for the wakeup call,
> congratulations, and Good Luck with a helluva situation. I hope
> you're getting some support (maybe through the hospital?)
> Stephanie
>
>

Thanks - everyone needs a backhand across the face once in a while in this
battle. I kept backhanding myself to make sure I didn't forget. Glad my
thoughts helped! Good luck!

--
John