Every year, I state my amazement that I am proud to say I am still quit and
happily so. I'm watching my grandsons grow up and have a very good feeling
that I'm gonna be around to watch them grow up some more! Wow.
Reflections - 7 yrs
Hello. It's such a pleasure to come back to AS3 and sit with you for a bit.
I grabbed the talkingstick as I passed by the altar so hopefully you'll sit
with me and share the moments as I ramble away.
I am Yukpa hashi. I am 7 years smoke free today. Oh my...
It seems like every year when I celebrate my smoke free anniversary, I'm
usually preparing for Vision Quest (as they're held about the same time). I
am preparing for VQ this year as well. I find I have much to be thankful
for and much to come to terms with. It's been a typical year for me. And
that is the perfect place to handle all of that. But up on that hill,
it's also a time for reflection. I would bet anything I spend some time
reflecting on my quit journey and how grateful I am to be here, 7 years
smoke free. I've some thoughts I'd like to share with you.
I've told my quitting story lots over the years. If you haven't heard it, I
would bet it sounds just like yours. Disgust, shame, tired of being a
pariah, the ashtray smell permeating EVERYTHING, and most of all, I hated
being chained to an addiction I had no choice but to pay attention to. And
at its discretion, btw, which really started to piss me off. By the time I
realized I REALLY needed to
quit smoking, health issues were beginning to
emerge. That, of course, wasn't the reason I quit, though. HUGE sigh. What
helped me make the decision had to do with the grandsons (who are now 13 and
15!). I not only wanted to be able to smooch them but I also wanted to see
them grow up. I wanted to see how they turned out. I'm curious as hell!
But, that wasn't going to happen inhaling 2 packs a day. I had one try left
in me. And I found this newsgroup.
I know I am preaching to the choir when I sing the praises of AS3 but for
me, this newsgroup was the difference in this quit. It's a font of
information and true support. We know what the other is going through so
there can be great empathy. This ng is a place where one can express the
emotions that are bound to explode when one chooses to get free. I will
always be indebted to those that walked beside me each step of the way.
Without them, I don't think I'd be writing to you today. (ddsteve, Jacque,
Mel, Paul, and the amazing 5/25'ers - Selma, Franz, Frank, Harry, Map and
Mark. There have been so many who have given me a hand up along the way.
Please know, I thank you as well.)
I experienced severe quit depression. I now realize that depression busted
several of my previous quits. In here, I was to learn that it was a common
experience. What? And then I was given suggestions as to what I could do
to help myself. I never felt alone in my blue place when I was in AS3. That
was a tremendous gift to me.
Slowly but surely, I understood the pieces that helped me walk away for
good. Freedom was possible. That was one of the epiphanies of that first
year.
|
Today, I experience a quit comfort that I did not know was possible. I
credit Cognitive Quitting (
www.cognitivequitting.com) and my quit coach,
ddsteve, with that gift. In fact, I am so done with smoking that even
while experiencing some incredibly painful stress here recently, I did not
think of smoking... not once... to help me get through it. My siblings and
other family members were smoking all around me but it did not affect me,
one way or the other. I know this might seem an impossible reality to some
of you but I assure you, it is possible.
|
In my reflections of this journey, I usually try to name the gifts I
received from quitting smoking. My favorite gift is that of freedom. While
I was a smoker, my life was not my own. It was a sad sight when I ran out
of smokes with no backup pack in the fridge. Panic city. I don't deal with
that anymore. Smile. If I was able to make it through a movie (more
often than not, I could not sit through a whole showing), you'd better not
stand in my way so I could get outside and light up. Leisurely walking,
talking about the movie (usually with my grandsons. We still go on dates.
Smile.) is what happens nowadays! I love the fresh smelling me. I love my
energy.
|
There is less stress in my life. I FEEL great. Exercise doesn't have to be
cut short because I need a smoke. I have more breath! I get hugged a lot
more. My grandsons especially can't seem to get close enough to me. HUGE
smile. I am healthier. I don't cough up black junk anymore. I can breathe
deeply! I can smell. I can hear. My skin has improved dramatically. And
did I mention 'freedom'? How sweet it is. Absolutely.
I cranked up the meter just to see what it says. Omigosh...
Seven years, 3 hours, 1 minute and 5 seconds. 76713 cigarettes not smoked,
saving $15,534.54. Life saved: 38 weeks, 8 hours, 45 minutes.
To be here, celebrating this milestone with you means everything to me. It
does not matter where you are in this journey, the point is you're on the
path. Stick with it. It does not matter what motivated you, the point is
you got motivated. Use it. You are in charge. It is up to you to find a
way to honor your decision (to you) to quit smoking. I do know that there
is a way out there for you to discover what will get you free. It is up to
you to find it and then do it. It is so possible.
I wish you all great success. Mitakuye Oyasin.
Passing the talkingstick >>>>-----------------> Your turn. How's it
going?
Yukpa hashi/Laughing Moon/PatB
www.talkingstick.net
7 yrs. - Reflections - Repost 
Linear Mode
