Feeling Better

not fully 100 % ..but much better than earlier today.
oh shit...i was scared...it was fierce....fucking shit...

felt like my whole life was shit....i felt all the emotional pain,....

and here's where the crave comes knocking....then banging....and it
got so bad, i was affraid i would chuck my quit....even for one
shitstick...i even thought about keeping it hush...but FOR WHAT? CUZ
I KNOW if i smoked...its ME that i would be cheating,,,,its ME that i
would be letting down...

so...

i left work (nothing happening there any way - making no money...not a
dime THERE WERE NO CALLS..
so i came home - still fighting for what seemed like my life...my
sanity...came on the board...and thank God FlatironMike was around -
as soon as i had somebody talk to me...i then fell asleep...thank you
BESSIEBEE...
your words to me helped me.......
i feel like i gaining some strength back.
i will confess, all this time during my quit, today was the first that
i came the closest to breaking it,,,it was scary

i was actually (felt like it anyway) loosing my fucking
SENSE........MY THINKING..........MY SELF...

and was actually contemplating SACRIFICING MYSELF....for some
pleasure...for some chemicals to stimulate ny fucking brain for a
dopamine fix...

I was a dope for dopamine.

feeling better now....more calm.

thank you Quit buddies - thank you AS3 for being here for me,

Steve
One month, one week, five days, 23 hours, 0 minutes and 2 seconds.
1073 cigarettes not smoked, saving $171.83. Life saved: 3 days, 17
hours, 25 minutes.