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FOOD FOR THOUGHT
  1. #1
    writer272002 Guest

    Default FOOD FOR THOUGHT

    .... or for breathing, actually. (HPB, are you listening? This is for
    you.)

    My mother's best friend makes sort of a career out of, well, staying
    with the dying. She is hospice-trained but doesn't work for hospice,
    if that makes sense. She's kind of the stay-overnight lady fill-in for
    hospice.

    Anyhoo. Right now she is staying with an old friend of hers. The woman
    smoked for years and is now ever so slowly dying from COPD. She is on
    oxygen all the time. Peggy (the stayer, my mom's friend) told my mom
    the other day that the woman, whose name I forget, no longer has the
    energy to get out of bed and get to the bathroom. My mom says you can
    hear her breathing across the house. (She visited).

    They told the woman she would not live until the end of July. Peggy
    told my mother yesterday she doesn't expect her to live through the
    weekend, and thought it would be a matter of hours rather than days.

    This woman has been sick a long time and her existence has been fairly
    miserable for some time now, because she persisted in sucking on
    ****sticks for years upon years.

    I don't know about you, but slowly being asphyxiated -- and having it
    be my own damn fault -- is really not how I want to die. It sounds
    painful and it sounds really hard. After visiting, my mom called me
    and said, "I'm so glad you quit smoking." And I'm glad too.

    As Keven says, don't ever forget why you quit.

    Love
    Ashley

  2. #2
    BessieBee Guest

    Default Re: FOOD FOR THOUGHT


    >I don't know about you, but slowly being asphyxiated -- and having it
    >be my own damn fault -- is really not how I want to die. It sounds
    >painful and it sounds really hard. After visiting, my mom called me
    >and said, "I'm so glad you quit smoking." And I'm glad too.


    Denial is VERY powerful. Denial of the power of tobacco to kill you.
    My mom died that way, slowly asphyxiated after almost an entire
    lifetime of smoking. That kind of death doesn't happen quickly, it's
    a very slow process that kind of creeps up on you. I know that may
    sound absurd, but that's how it worked with Mom. From a very vital,
    active woman in her prime she slowly, over the course of a decade or
    more, slowed down to become a mere shadow of her self.

    Mom never stopped smoking and the progression of emphysema is
    insidious. Every day you lose just a teeny bit more. Today doesn't
    feel a whole lot different from yesterday, but December sure feels
    different than January did.

    I don't believe Mom's death was physically painful - she was kept
    "comfortable" with morphine, but before the morphine took over she
    would find herself gasping for breath with the slightest exertion.
    That part of death from emphysema was the worst - no pain but the
    sheer terror of not being able to get in a breath. That was painful
    to watch.

    What turned out to be her last expressed wish was for some watermelon.
    It was mid July and she decided that cold watermelon would hit the
    spot. I raced to the grocery and bought a package of cubed watermelon
    and raced back to her nursing home room. She didn't have the energy
    to chew even the tiniest piece. We ended up soaking a sponge in the
    juice and wiping her lips with it. That didn't seem to satisfy her,
    but it was all she could do.

    All because of ****ing cigarettes.

    --
    BessieBee
    "Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?"

  3. #3
    Sally Guest

    Default Re: FOOD FOR THOUGHT

    I am also 'hospice-trained' but working with a different agency. Many
    of my clients have some form of cancer.....some have recovered. But
    just as many are goind downhill fast and need hospice care. It's
    difficult to watch as time progresses but I do my best to comfort
    them. I get daily reminders that smoking kills...and it can be a long
    slow painful death.

    Sally
    VOF

    On Sat, 2 Aug 2008 13:38:57 -0700 (PDT), writer272002
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    >... or for breathing, actually. (HPB, are you listening? This is for
    >you.)
    >
    >My mother's best friend makes sort of a career out of, well, staying
    >with the dying. She is hospice-trained but doesn't work for hospice,
    >if that makes sense. She's kind of the stay-overnight lady fill-in for
    >hospice.
    >
    >Anyhoo. Right now she is staying with an old friend of hers. The woman
    >smoked for years and is now ever so slowly dying from COPD. She is on
    >oxygen all the time. Peggy (the stayer, my mom's friend) told my mom
    >the other day that the woman, whose name I forget, no longer has the
    >energy to get out of bed and get to the bathroom. My mom says you can
    >hear her breathing across the house. (She visited).
    >
    >They told the woman she would not live until the end of July. Peggy
    >told my mother yesterday she doesn't expect her to live through the
    >weekend, and thought it would be a matter of hours rather than days.
    >
    >This woman has been sick a long time and her existence has been fairly
    >miserable for some time now, because she persisted in sucking on
    >****sticks for years upon years.
    >
    >I don't know about you, but slowly being asphyxiated -- and having it
    >be my own damn fault -- is really not how I want to die. It sounds
    >painful and it sounds really hard. After visiting, my mom called me
    >and said, "I'm so glad you quit smoking." And I'm glad too.
    >
    >As Keven says, don't ever forget why you quit.
    >
    >Love
    >Ashley


  4. #4
    DavidL Guest

    Default Re: FOOD FOR THOUGHT

    On Aug 2, 3:38*pm, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
    > ... or for breathing, actually. (HPB, are you listening? This is for
    > you.)
    >
    > My mother's best friend makes sort of a career out of, well, staying
    > with the dying. She is hospice-trained but doesn't work for hospice,
    > if that makes sense. She's kind of the stay-overnight lady fill-in for
    > hospice.
    >
    > Anyhoo. Right now she is staying with an old friend of hers. The woman
    > smoked for years and is now ever so slowly dying from COPD. She is on
    > oxygen all the time. Peggy (the stayer, my mom's friend) told my mom
    > the other day that the woman, whose name I forget, no longer has the
    > energy to get out of bed and get to the bathroom. My mom says you can
    > hear her breathing across the house. (She visited).
    >
    > They told the woman she would not live until the end of July. Peggy
    > told my mother yesterday she doesn't expect her to live through the
    > weekend, and thought it would be a matter of hours rather than days.
    >
    > This woman has been sick a long time and her existence has been fairly
    > miserable for some time now, because she persisted in sucking on
    > ****sticks for years upon years.
    >
    > I don't know about you, but slowly being asphyxiated -- and having it
    > be my own damn fault -- is really not how I want to die. It sounds
    > painful and it sounds really hard. After visiting, my mom called me
    > and said, "I'm so glad you quit smoking." And I'm glad too.
    >
    > As Keven says, don't ever forget why you quit.
    >
    > Love
    > Ashley


    That's about where my Mom is headed.
    They put her oxygen July '07, we both quit Aug '07.
    She's still on oxygen 'cause she won't exercise like she's supposed
    to.
    She's getting less and less active.
    My poor Dad is getting pulled down with her.
    I don't know if I quit in time to prevent permanent damage.
    But I sure is hell AM NOT gonna cause any more.
    I don't want to die that way and I don't want anyone to have to watch
    me die that way.

  5. #5
    BessieBee Guest

    Default Re: FOOD FOR THOUGHT


    >I don't want anyone to have to watch me die that way.


    That's the big thing for me. The thought of family watching me gasp
    for breath after attempting to pull myself up in bed is horrifying.

    --
    BessieBee
    "Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?"

  6. #6
    writer272002 Guest

    Default Re: FOOD FOR THOUGHT

    You said it. Plus, I think not being able to breathe (the few times
    I've briefly experienced it, like the time I choked on an ice cube) is
    possibly the worst feeling on earth.

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